Questions

 

I’m sure you have questions for me.  Since I’m not a mind reader, I only play one on TV, I’m going to pretend I know what they are.

Why haven’t I posted any cleaning updates since Thursday?

Ummm, because I haven’t written any.

Why haven’t I written any you ask?

That would be cuz I haven’t cleaned since Wednesday. (hangs head in shame)

Oh, wait! That isn’t entirely true!  Friday morning I wiped the Thursday’s spaghetti sauce off the stove.  The baked on UFO,

(unidentified funky other-glob)  Not so much.  That part IS entirely true.

And I bathed Pudding Pop. Hey, that’s cleaning!!

I even took a shower!! Again with the cleaning.  And just now I turned on the dishwasher.  So there.

Okay, next question:

Do I think I’m funny?  Well, I’ve been told I am. (looks down demurely while blushing delicately)

And not just by my sister, either!!

Am I really a slob? OOOOHHH yes! If you need verification, I can provide witnesses. Again, not just my sister, either!

Am I purple?? Weeeell, I’ve had purple hair at different points in time. 

PurpleSlob with purple hair

PurpleSlob, purple hair

 

 

I wear purple nearly every day.  My living room curtains are purple, as are my reading glasses, and my purse.  I even have purple towels!  Not convinced yet?  Well, I can tell you I’ve had purple marker all over my hands before, and it’s not a good look for me! But sadly, my 1 (teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsy) tattoo isn’t purple. It’s a strawberry.  The bunch of grapes was WAY too big!!  And I’m a big chicken!  Plus, I’m from Plant City, FL.  The Winter Strawberry Capitol of the World, sooo it all came together.   Why I have a tattoo in the first place is a story for another day.

strawberry

Next!

Did I write all my comments myself under nom de plumes?  Absolutely!  After all, who better than me to know what I want to hear.  JUST KIDDING! Relax, it’s not a college paper, sheesh

Do I call my grand baby Pudding Pop IRL? (in real life)

Only when she’s in trouble. HA! When she’s in trouble her name really is “NO NO NO NO!”  And she knows it well!

How do I come up with the ideas for the posts?  Glad you asked.  My head is 1 giant squirrels’ nest, full of nuts.  Sometimes, I go chasing around and around in there, and something falls out.  Voila, a post idea!

Callosciurus_finlaysonii_-_Finlayson's_squirrel_(variable_squirrel)

By Rushenb – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=33630799

 

 

 

How do I have time to do all this writing, when I don’t have time to clean???

Sorry, folks!  Time’s up.  Come back soon, ya hear?

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Granny Chaney

My Granny was a whirlwind of energy.  She rarely sat still, unless she was sewing.

Disclaimer: NOT my real Granny, but looks a lot like her! Except Granny’s hair was in braids crisscrossed on the top of her head, not in a bun.  Otherwise, spot on, including the shoes, long sleeves, high neck, and glasses!

johnny_automatic_grandma

By 7 am, she

was fully dressed, down to her shoes (and she had never even HEARD of FLYLADY lol)

would have already swept the porch, and front steps

had a load of laundry in

picked oranges out of the backyard

squooze the fresh juice ( I know, spelling)

had a hot breakfast cooked, and on the table.

Then she would allow herself exactly 5 seconds to relax, (more or less) and drink her coffee.

cup of coffee

And so on, for the rest of the day.

Oh, I’m so tired just typing all that!!  They do not make ’em like her anymore.  She was an original.

Granny raised 11 kids, while working in the fields all day, using CLOTH diapers! sewing their clothes, and cooking 3 meals a day. Whew!  She was an amazing lady, no doubt.

Her greatest accomplishment was pointing all her family to Christ  So many times I’ve heard some of my cousins say, “I wouldn’t be a Christian today, if it wasn’t for Granny.”   She certainly received many crowns when she stepped into heaven.

Christian cross

 

 

She passed along her work ethic to her children.  So my Mama is a hard worker too.  She always says Granny worked circles around all her girls.  And Mama works circles around her 2 girls!  I work, uh….. well, there’s plenty of room for my girls to work circles around me too!

The whole community knew and loved Granny Chaney.  She was so loving and generous.  She would give you her last dime, if you needed it.  Often she gave away so much, she’d leave little for herself.  And loving!!  No grand or great grand child of hers ever got a spanking in her house!  She’d say, “Now ____insert dad’s name here__, don’t you spank my baby ___insert child’s name here__.  Put that belt away.  Now run along and play honey, don’t do it again.”

She was famous for her dumplings. Handmade. Of course! She’d be so insulted if she heard you ask that!!

And her banana pudding!! MMMMMM, clouds of pure bliss! She did the meringue topping, not that ole cheater stuff.

homemade banana pudding

Not hers!!   She’s been gone many years now.  And I was never smart enough to ever take a pic of hers!

 

Ever since she died, I’ve chased that taste.  I don’t think I’ll ever find it again. 

(I wouldn’t have told Granny, but Mama’s dumplings are just as good!)

I have such a legacy of love, laughter, and the Lord to live up to.  I’ve failed a lot in my life, but I’m working on it now.

Also, a spotless house legacy to live up to.  That ain’t happening!  But, in my recovery I’m shooting for non slobdom.

Lived in will work for me.

Who was an amazing example and inspiration in your life?

Green Goo

As I swept the entry this morning, I saw some green goo by the door. It would not come up with the broom. Moral dilemma- do I just leave it there? Pretend I didn’t see it? Pick it up? Well, get this- I BENT OVER and picked it up!  Now, those of you who don’t know me personally don’t realize what a big deal this is!  Before beginning my recovery, I wouldn’t even have been sweeping, much less bending over to get something off the floor! I didn’t do anything previously. I mean, ANYTHING. (Well, I did put on my muumuu, but that was only because I didn’t want to get arrested! And it tired me out so much, I had to sit down all day to recover.)

So, there I have this green goo in my hand. What was it?  How did it get here?  Was it toxic?  Was it an alien life form that was going to take over my body, and make me do the dishes, cook, AND clean the toilets???

Naaah, it was only

slob, humor, play-doh

The hideous fiend!!

 

Wait, what????    Pudding Pop doesn’t even own any!  How do we have play-doh in the house??

We are lucky enough to be surrounded by kids, lots of kids, in all the apartments near us.

Thanks for sharing, kids. Thanks a lot.  (Can you hear the sarcasm? Good, I thought it was only in my head.)

And yes, I swept the kitchen, and living room too.  And mopped.  Whew!

Wild N Crazy

DH swept Sat. night. So, on Sun. morning, all I had to do was mop. So, I did.  The living room, AND the FOY-YAH.  What? you don’t know what a foy-yah is? Foyer, for less fancy folks. Entry  for us crackers.

Right? How wild and crazy was that, that I mopped both??  I’m on a rampage!! What WILL I do next??  Nobody knows!!

This morning, I swept and mopped the living room , the entry AND THE KITCHEN!! I know, I should have posted the SIT DOWN warning for this one!

slob, humor, sweeping

Not me. But I picked it cuz of jammies’ color! Wikihow.com May be subject to copyright

I even,  wait for it,  trashed a purple toilet rug. One of those annoying contoured ones that always crumble up, and pose a tripping hazard. I can and have tripped over my own feet! I don’t need any help!

How could I have trashed something PURPLE??? Believe you me, I agonized over it.  After a few tears, and a moment of silence, I walked away.  1 less thing in the house! Woot woot!

This is what it looked like.     (Since the beginning days of my blog, I’ve learned I can find a pix of nearly anything on earth!!)

 

Life Happens

Yesterday (whoops, it’s already Sat. morning, so I mean, Thur.. confused yet? lol) we got off our rhythm. DH had to go to a nutrition class before PP even woke up. So, no walk until he came home. By then, my get up and go, had already got up and gone! Know what I mean? Sweeping and mopping just wasn’t happening. But hey, I had done it the 3 days previous, so it was a lot cleaner than usual, right? So I comforted my lazy self.

Then yesterday, we had an early morning trip to ER. DH was in tremendous pain.  After a cat scan, they determined it was a pinched cervical nerve. Frightening? Absolutely! Life threatening? No, thank God! Yes, he’s better thanks to Dr. Robin’s  adjustments.  Thanks for asking.

But it started me thinking about life, and what’s important.  The most important things in life are not things, they are people.

Love, hug, kiss and cherish the ones in your life!

slob, humor, heart

LOVE!

 

Yes, a clean floor is important too, but not at the expense of my relationship to my husband, my daughters, and my grand baby. (Yes, Michelle, I’m gonna mention you too!) Other family falls right in behind there, mom, brother, sister, in-laws, nieces, nephews, aunts, cousins, uncles, ex-husbands, step-mothers.. (Did I forget anybody? Make sure you message me!)

The most important person in my life is Jesus, my Lord and Savior.  If my relationship with Him is in order, it’s much easier to love everyone else properly.

So, God, family, friends, etc. THEN things like clean floors, gourmet meals, hand sewn dresses, etc. Oh, ha ha ha ha! I have to hold my stomach! It hurts from all the belly laughs! Gourmet meals! lol I crack myself up!

memitch

Take care of your loved ones, you never know when their next breath will be their last.

Sit Down Before Reading This

I mean it. SIT DOWN. I don’t want to be responsible for you fainting from shock, hitting your head, thereby cracking your skull, having a CAT scan, and waking up paralyzed!  I will have lots of sympathy for you, but can’t afford your medical bills!  After all, I did warn you to sit down!

Ok, last night, I went to bed at midnight! Very surprising, yes, but not the shocking part.  Dh stirred and asked me the time. I replied. Then, in a duh-oh moment, I asked him if he’d  turned on the dw.  (Now, I had been sitting 6 feet away from the dw since he went to bed at 10. It had been silent the whole time. What was I thinking to ask that??? )

slob, humor, face palm

Duh-oh!!

 

Now, here’s the shocking part.  I GOT UP.  I finished loading the dw, and turned it on. See? I told you you needed to be sitting down!

I only got up because I could hear Nony’s voice (from ASlobComesClean.com) in my head saying a clean kitchen is so much nicer to face in the morning. And that the most important thing she does to keep her home from sliding into chaos, is do the dishes. So, I did.

Mountain or Molehill?

So. Very. Tired.  Do. NOT. WANT. To Do. It. <insert whining baby sound here>

slob, humor, whining

Waaaaaah!!

 

In my big, bad, slobbish, pre-blog days (ya know, last week), I would have said “Fahggadda bout it”. And I would have.

But, since I’m in slob recovery mode, I got over myself, and did it anyway. And I timed myself. 8 minutes, to move everything, sweep and mop, and dry w/ 2 paper towels under my feet. (8!!!!)

Wow, I’ve been making a mountain outta an 8 minute molehill.

AS I sit here in my trusty recliner, looking around and feeling the warm glow of accomplishment (or is that just the heat of my huffing, puffing exertion?), I realize I forgot to move everything back.  Oopsie! Oh, well. DH will do it.

(What?? Did you think I suddenly became totally un-lazy??? Surely you jest!!)