This beautiful original oil painting is hanging in my long hallway. Brother hung it up when he moved in, under the hallway light, so it would be showcased. Mama painted it from memory, of a pencil drawing Brother did when he was in school. (We will skip over how many years ago that was! You’re welcome.)
It’s titled “Longing”. In person, you can actually see the longing in the horse’s eyes, and expression, for freedom. Very poignant.
Sometimes, I long to be free of my slobbery. It definitely fences me in, behind literal walls of stuff.
It keeps people from visiting me, because there is no place to sit, due to the laundry, or whatever, on every available flat surface.
When someone is brave enough to visit, and they’re persistent enough to tunnel out a place to sit, they’re usually uncomfortable. Chaos is uncomfortable. Our minds seek order. Even if I say it doesn’t bother me to live in such a slobby mess; sometimes, it does get to me. And, I despair of ever digging out of the mess.
So, I make stabs at it, here and there. Last Tuesday, Mama came over and we decluttered, and she organized some, in my bedroom. (Alert- future post.)
But, overall, what difference did it make? Sure, I can look around and see carpet now, where I couldn’t before. And sure, now I can actually see the table top. And my shirts are actually hanging in my closet. (GASP- I heard that!)
But, I still have so much to do, and so far to go. Why do anything, really???
That’s what my slob brain says. But my “wants to be a cleanie” brain says, “Don’t give up! There’s hope! Keep on doing something!”
I realize I may never be a cleanie, after all, I’ve been a slob for 54 years now. But, I’m gonna keep on chippin away at the mountain.
Who knows? Someday, maybe I’ll be company ready without a 3 day marathon of cleaning!
And when that happens, you’ll be the first to know. Promise.