Ripe Recipe

9/17/2015

I had a wild hair today.   It was so annoying.   Don’t worry, it’s gone.

buzz hair cut

This is a #3 guard, on the clippers. Too long?

Artistic, no?

side buzz cut

Pretty short, huh? Cool!!!

My Mama almost had a fit when she saw me. She thinks it’s a catastrophe.  I knew she would.  And it’s not that I don’t care, or want to upset her.

It’s just that I’m trying to survive the  oven Florida climate!  Remember this?  Icy Exterior.  103 degrees in the shade, ain’t no joke!  Add to that, I’m still fat fluffy, and NO AIR in my car!!  And there you have a recipe for heat stroke!

Kompliment Kudos

9/11/15

I just got the sweetest compliment from Sarah Eliza.

free fun friday

This entrant was at a disadvantage in terms of clicks, due to joining the party towards the end of the window, but in addition to linking up several very funny posts, she was also by far our most enthusiastic participant.  She left comments pretty much everywhere!  Not only are you funny in your own right, but you’re also a natural-born encourager, Ms. Purple-Slob-In-Recovery, and that deserves a shout-out!  “
 free fun friday

And then about T(r)ank Trouble:

“Drum roll please……

You’re featured at Free and Fun Friday today! 😀

Hurray!”

Thanks, Sarah Eliza!!  Go check her out, you’ll be glad you did!
PS:  Look- she loves alliteration too!!

Party Planning

Stella from Purfylle suggested a “How to Host a Farewell to Youth” party post, since the one I gave Brother was so successful.

And no, I’m not just bragging! Many people told me that! Besides my family, I mean!

  1.  Grab ahold of an “OLD” person, well preferably one who is just on the cusp of becoming old.

2.  Determine by whatever sneaky means you have to, their actual birthday.

3.  Gather your party committee, preferably at least one who has money!  (I left out the second part of this step, when planning with my Sis.  This step is VITAL!!)

4.  Plan a planning plan.

5.  Dream up all kinds of diabolical old jokes, and ways to say, “Nanny, nanny, boo boo, you’re OLD!”

6.  Gather old pictures of victim honoree.

7.  Order huge poster with picture, proclaiming that the “Party is NOW OVER”, or “You’re Over the HILL”, or other cliche of choice.

golf ball poster

zazzle.com

8.  Invite friends, and enemies – because they like to rub it in their face that the person is old!!

7.  Buy lots of black food coloring.

slob, humor, expired

8.  Order the bread dyed black, at the bakery, ( I got ours at Publix.)   I didn’t know they did this until I wanted pink for PP’s shower!  So cool!!

9.  Make photo collage of baby pictures, and thru the years pix.  Make sure you only use the most embarrassing ones.  A “swimming in the tub” naked one front and center is the preferred placement.

10.  Buy lots of coffins, black roses, tombstones, crows, and black crepe paper as decorations.  If your party is in Nov. or later, and you can score them at Michael’s for 90% off, you win!

slob, humor, over the hill

11.  Paint “Your Youth is Dead”, RIP ____”s Youth”, etc on the coffins.  (Please do NOT procure any life size ones!  A heart attack of the victim honoree is NOT what you’re after!  (Unless YOU are one of the aforementioned enemies…)

12.  Make all black food.  Suggestions: black deviled eggs,

eating black eggs

Dutifully eating the “rotten” eggs.

black sandwiches, blackies (really brownies), tootsie rolls, licorice, cola drinks, black olives, devil’s food cake, etc.  Let your imagination run wild!  Just make sure it’s still edible, just looks nasty!!  (Again, unless you’re one of the aforementioned ….)

13.  Have glow sticks at the ready.  Black lights would be even better!  Make sure you’ve just whitened your teeth, if you choose blacklights.

14. Oh, I forgot to mention- keep it secret from the birthday person!  Of course, since they’re approaching old age, they might forget, even if you told them.  Use your own discretion.

15.  Wait for the birthday person to arrive, and yell surprise!  Oh, they didn’t show up??  You have to have someone bring them!  Geez, I didn’t think I had to tell you EVERY little thing!

16.  Make sure you have an AED unit, and someone who knows how to use it.  Old people’s hearts don’t stand up well to surprises, ya know.

aed unit

   Games:

17.  Have wheelchair or walker races.  These are hilarious! 

inflatable walker

spenceronline.com

18.  Photo booth.  Have props, such as granny glasses, canes, white wigs, IV poles, etc.

19.  Relay races, wearing huge slippers.

20.  Stuff cotton is everyone’s ears and play telephone.

21.  Let party person open presents.  Make sure you have lots of old people products.  Geritol, (do they even MAKE that anymore??), fake false teeth, hearing aids, tums, cane, reading glasses (unless they really DO wear glasses, then this is NOT funny, ask me how I know), memory pills- candy in a prescription bottle, labeled with person’s name, Take one every day for memory.

senior moment mints

spenceronline.com

22.  Light cake, have fire extinguisher at the ready.  Brandishing it right in front of the cake, is best.

23.  Make sure you have a photographer who is skilled in catching people looking their absolute worst.  Then you can use these either as blackmail,  or at their 50th birthday party!

24.  Have fun!

two uses tuesday

Comment Chaos

Lately EVERYONE has been talking about how to manage your emails, and blogs.

Sharon from HowtoGetOrganizedatHome.

Janice from MostlyBlogging.

Ralph from BlueFishWay.  (Here is the guest post he wrote for Janice, explaining how he deals with the pressure.)

Hugh from HughsNewsandViews.

I was getting an email everytime someone commented on a post. Necessary, ok.  (But, was it really??? Everytime I log on to WP, if the bell has a circle on it, I have comments.

comment bell

 So, hmmm  maybe I can cancel those emails too???  Double notifications are a time waster… So, yeah!  I’m gonna cut out those emails too!  Yay!  More digital de-cluttering

I was getting double emails from several sites when a new post went up. ARGH!  Too much!

I was getting an email everytime someone I was following posted.  Too much!  Not necessary, ditched those.  They are in my reader, and can be accessed that way.

AND, I was getting an email everytime someone LIKED my post, or a COMMENT on a post!!! AAAAAHHHHH!

(Talk about  overload! )

My eyes were burning from all the reading of emails!  My finger was cramping from all the clicking to delete.

finger delete button

Enough already!!

Something had to change!!

Well, duh!  Turn off the LIKE email notifications!!  Tonight, this morning, whatever,  I finally played around in the dashboard long enough to figure out how to turn off the “Like” emails.  Thank goodness!  Hopefully, some of my sanity will be restored. What little there is left of it!

(and maybe only 50 emails a day, instead of 1,000???  Please!!!!)

Look!  I got thru my whole inbox, and only 3 left!

only 3 emails

 (2 are books I need to read, so they don’t really count, and I already deleted the OneDrive one.)  What an accomplishment!

AND, I just winnowed down my following list to only 57.  I don’t have to feel guilty about not following someone, just because they follow me, right, Hugh??  I just took a very big, relieved breath.  Maybe the insanity (of my inbox, anyway) has been banished.  My real sanity will always be in question!

Inspire Me Monday party

Wawa

Today’s choice of beverage:

orange water in tervis

See my pretty Tervis? Oh yeah, and the orange water in it.

Vintage: 3 pm, Today

I went to Outback, and ordered water.  [What an accomplishment!]  YAY me!!  I deserve a Water Conservation Award!    Oh, no, wait… that would be if I DIDN’T drink water.  Okay, so I deserve a Healthy Beverage Choice Award!   And I asked for orange slices,

orange slice

My own photo, Kjetil Lenes.

instead of lemon, which the waitress was more than happy to do.  Ummmm, so refreshing!  Why don’t I remember to do this at home?

It’s stupid simple to make.  Hello oranges, {before} meet knife.

paring knife

Author=Donovan Govan.

 Deadly carnage ensues.  {After} Results:  Tasty hydrating beverage that also tingles your tastebuds!  What else could you want?  Besides a yummy drink that makes you small enough to go down a rabbit hole, I mean?

Inspire Me Monday party

two uses tuesday

Graphically Gross

WARNING:  The following picture is graphically gross!  If you’re squeamish, cover your eyes, and chant rhythmically to yourself: “Lalalalala, I can’t SEE you!!”

smashed roach

Roach squooshed in my hand.

This is the “after”.  I did the deadly deed in the bathroom.  With my hand.  By PurpleSlob.  (Anybody catch the “Clue”??)

Okay, you can look now. All clear.

I know you think, (at least I THINK you think) it’s gross that I squoosh roaches with my hands.  In my defense:

  1.  My hands are washable.  Sterilizable, even.
  2.  Inexplicably, the roaches never respond to my shouted demands requests to sit still while I run and go get a shoe with which to annihilate them.
  3.  A dead roach in the hand is worth much more to me than a hundred running around behind my back, especially running around in front of my back!
  4.  I don’t carry a can of bug spray on my person at all times.  It interferes with my swatting arm.
  5.  I honestly don’t mind bug guts on me.  It gives me such a sense of personal satisfaction to cream them, by my own “hand”iwork, that I kinda revel in the bloody evidence of a battle well won!

I guess I could try wearing a chatelaine,

chatelaine

Chatelaine, 1765-1775 Victoria and Albert Museum no. -C.492:1 to 7-1914

and just add a heavy-duty fly flap, some of those suckers get huge!!  It would just have to have some sorta quick release mechanism.

Nah, it’d weigh me down too much.  Back to hand-to-roach combat for me.  Hoo-Rah!

Inspire Me Monday party

All Aglow

Okay, since the winning pic got it’s own post, and LBeth got her requested post, when is the runner-up gonna get it’s own post? Huh?  Ya predjuiced against glow sticks, er summin??

Alright, Alright, quit nagging!  Sheesh!

Here is the behind the scenes story of Me-All Aglow.

It was Brother’s Big Black Birthday Bash:  Farewell to his Youth.  His youth is DEAD>  Did I mention he is officially OLD now?

Sister and I planned big ole black funeral party, for his 50th.

Decorations, even the food had to be black.  Remember the black eggs???

eating black eggs

Dutifully eating the “rotten” eggs.

(I know I’ve written about them before, I just can’t remember where.  Sieve brain.  Don’t make fun, you’ll get old one day.

I finally remembered!  Yay me!  Go here.)

brother's 50th birthday bash

WE even went so far as to order request that everyone wear black.

Sis had glow sticks for everyone.  And of course, since I can NEVER be like everyone else, I wore mine as a necklace, AND earrings!

glow earrings necklace

me all aglow

I wanted to make rings, a bracelet, AND a headband too, but Sis whined something about, “Melinda, you can’t take them all.  There’s other people here too!”

Whatever.

Did I mention the temp tats?  See the star on my cheek?  We wanted to really blow it out for his 50th.

(Poor guy, as the middle child, he never had any parties.  Yeah, right, like he was the only one who had to eat beans everyday, while we ate steak.  snicker, snicker)

Anyway, they had to be temp tats, cuz the real ones HURT!!!

strawberry tattoo

Strawberry tat, that was NOT kissed on by a kitten.

 And the tat parlor refused to tattoo him, while he was still tied up.    What?  Like you’ve never tied up your little brother and tried to tattoo him???

two uses tuesday