Abject Apology

I’m sorry, y’all.   I’ve had my posts pre-planned, for a few weeks.   But, then I didn’t have one for today.   No problem, I thought.   I’ll do it Thursday night.   Yeah, well that would have been all well and good.  IF I hadn’t babysat from 8a-5p yesterday!!   I was so exhausted, I fell in bed at 7 pm!!    And that is NOT my usual!!   I have to force myself to go to bed at midnight!!

So when I say I was exhausted, I was E.X.H.A.U.S.T.E.D.

slob, tired

So, so very tired

Actually, I need a pic of me face down on the bed here!!    (One of the draw-backs of living alone, no one to take pix! Ha!)

 

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

See ya Monday with some more memes.

Have a great weekend!!

Saddled Stallion

This is my last Wendy’s cup ever.

slob, humor, drink

Wendy is such a cutie! And a cup chock full of sweet nectar!

 Like, ever ever!   {I hope!!}

Huh??  And what exactly does that have to do with a saddled stallion???

Hold on!   I’ll tell ya, if you’ll just hold your horses!   

humor, winky face, slob

YAY!! So relieved!

 

Since I’m back up on my GF (gluten free), bandwagon, I figured it was well past time to saddle up the sugar-free stallion, as well.

groan

Do you realize how HARD this is gonna be for me???

Maybe I just need to say the SODA-free stallion, instead of sugar!    Right??    Yeah, yeah!!   That’s the ticket!!   Only promise to give up soda, that we called Coke all my life.

That way I can still have brownies, cake, donuts….

Uh-uh-uhh!!    [finger wag]     What??       You’re already GF, remember??      Oh, yeah, that.   Um, I can still have cheesecake!     What??      Yeah, really!!     Using almond flour, and stevia.      Good deal!!

slob, humor, gluten-free

Yummy!! GF, AND sugar-free! Therefore, I can eat ALL of it, right?? (Ok, I did share 2 pieces….)

 

And, I found some GF brownie cookies that are excellent!!     But, since they cost $5 a dozen, they’ll have to be a rare treat!

So, buh-bye sweetness….

slob, humor

Farewell, my love. I’ll miss you!!

Scootin Scooter

{Ya know what?   It was really hard not to write “Boot” before the scootin, and “Boogie” after!     But, since they didn’t alliterate, I was saved from myself!}

Okay, down to the real reason for this rambling man rhetoric: Scootin my Scooter.  

slob, humor, scooter

Ta-da! My scooter. Yes, you’ve seen it before. And probably will again. When my leg goes out, I’d be crawling on the ground without this baby!

 

My backrest had broken.   I was inconsolable.    Whenever I leaned back on it, I leaned WAY back!    Like so far back, I was(almost) on my back!   (But did I stop and take a selfie of this horrible state??    I’m sure you can all say it with me: “NOOOOO.”)

Anyway, I was resigned to suffer this torture indefinitely.    [Due to my funds being NOT fluid at present, due to saving for the trip in May to see DD2 graduate as a Doctor!! paying back 2 loans I owe, and having to buy piddley little stuff, like toilet paper, and food! Thankfully neighbor, Jeanette, borrowed it.    The seat got on her nerves so bad, she said “We gotta FIX this!”    Do tell!!    And she is the woman with a plan!    In her shed, she found a board just the right size, cut down a little, painted it for me!!    {Can you guess the color??   I think you can!!}  and bolted it to the supports. 

slob, humor, scooter

My brand new back!!

 

Aaaahhhhh!   When I rode it today, I thought I’d been upgraded to a luxury scooter!    Amazing what a small thing it takes to make me happy!!    A cushion that sets up straight, instead of sagging?    I’m all kinds of gleeful!!

Now, wonder what I have to do to get shocks on it???

Petered-out Purse

My sweet Sis, Michelle, gave me back the infamous Coach purse, when mine from AuntSherry  petered-out, back in November.

slob, humor, purse

Gorgeous!!

I love this purse.   Not because it’s a Coach, I don’t care about that, but it’s the perfect size, and shape, and color!!

slob, humor, purse

A REAL Coach purse! (Big deal!)

 

And now, dun Dun DUN: it’s petered-out too!    Poor petered-out purse!!   A moment of silence please.

I ignored the stains inside.

slob, humor, purse

Yuck! Now you know my secret shame. I’m a slob. (World’s worst kept secret, I know.)

I ignored the corners that were worn off.

slob, humor, purse

cut and dried corner- needs to go

 

But, I can’t ignore the zipper breaking!    No!   I really can’t take it anymore!!         Even though I still kept on using it while the threads frayed more, and more, and more….   But when you can no longer ZIP the zipper??     It’s time to say buh-bye.    As hard as it may be, and it’s really hard!!     I have to “p word” it.    I don’t wanna say the word in front of it.    I would hurt its feelings.   Oh, okay, I’ll spell it then.   P-u-r-g-e.   There, ya happy now?    Good thing it can’t read!!

 

slob, humor, purse

See my finger sticking thru there?? Yeah, not so much working any more.

 

So, I had to make up my mind to throw it awayget rid of it , let it goooooo.     That was really hard for me!   It’s been a good friend, and general carry-all for both of us, for years!

Now, where do I dispose of the body??    It’s certainly not trash!   But, if even I won’t use it, then it can’t be donated!!   Maybe recycling??   Or, do I cremate it, and carry its ashes to spread around the outside of the Coach store in Orlando???   Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Memorial: Melinda’s & Michelle’s mauve money-bag.

Christian Crack-ups

Once again, it’s Monday!    Time for your weekly dose of laughter.   Someone, (Anne, I’m looking at you) asked for more Chicken Chuckles.   Working on it, promise!

Meantime, hope everyone enjoys these Christian crack-ups.   I know I did!

disciple figures out 70x7

Don’t worry, I needed a calculator too!

 

Adam Eve didn't read apple terms a

Bwahahahaha!!

feel Holy Spirit first time

Ya wanna tell EVERYBODY!!

don't know want study Bible or devotional Bible

Oh the agony of decisions!

Stephen curtis chapman

Steven Curtis Chapman

put Christ back in Christmas and Christians

Ouch, this might be too true to be funny.

Christian dudes post like chicks

Selfies!

Apostle Paul I Timothy women submit men lead out window

Yup, about the way it goes.

Christmas Eve

Say who??

 

sea Galilee only gal-I-see

Groan. #lamepickuplines

 

 

shock parents go church

Hee hee

 

where's Luke right after Mark

Caught the Star Wars fans, AND the Christians! All in one meme!

 

guard Lord over mouth baby used toilet plunger

Well, that’s certainly ONE way to do it!

 

Steve Harvey names Jesus John Baptist

Oopsie!!

 

already started eating says let's pray

Just bow your head, and be quiet!!

 

That’s all for now.    Happy Monday!    See ya tomorrow!

 

Roxie aka “The Other Cat” Is Bored !

Roxie is my very favoritest cat! I’m the Official Fan Club President, too!!
Enjoy!

Around ZuZu's Barn

IMG_7416 2Hi, It’s Roxie D. checking in…

As you know, I like to snoop  pay attention to what goes on around here and complain about  share my findings with all of you. It’s been really boring lately, but I have been reading some of the posts Mom leaves up on the laptop and interesting stuff is happening in other places.

Russ Towne is in the process of marketing his books and even has some new ones coming out soon. (Russ is like the new Doctor Seuss.) Mom reads them out IMG_2184loud to kids when they come to visit. I listen, too, because his books are way more interesting than those  ZuZu stories in  A Berkshire Tale. But then, there’s not much to work with when your main character is She Who Will Not Be Named (again). You should visit his blog. He writes poetry and short stories and even has  books on…

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Kim’s Kwilt, Coming!

As I mentioned before, I’m working on DD2’s T-shirt kwilt for her graduation, as an Optometrist, in May.   So exciting!!    There’ll be a Doctor in the house!!

So, I’m working.   Hard.   On the days I’m not hardly working.   Kim’s kwilt is coming along nicely.

Here are the T-shirts:

bag of old T shirts

Apparently old T-shirts are not as yucky as old sheets. Who knew??

 

“Sew”, {See what I did there?} now I’m seriously working on it.   Only 1 month, minus 1 day to go!!!    On no!!!!!

I pre-washed all the sashing materials, which I will use for the borders, as well.  

humor, slob, quilting

She wanted all the different colors of her schools.

 

The backing is still a mystery.   When I get paid again, in May, then I’ll go hunting for that, and the filling.    The front is the hard part!    Once it’s done, sandwiching it all together is almost a breeze!    (Almost, I say.   Remember the Bland Blankie going wonky???)

For those lazy among you who don’t wanna waste your time re-reading about that painful memory, here’s a visual:

misaligned quilt edges , humor

See how the edges no longer align??? AUGH!!

 

NOW I know that flannel stretches!   It’s 100% cotton, so how did I know???

Okay, I’m in the midst of ironing on fusible web, to stiffen the T-shirt, so they won’t ravel when I sew them together.

Then, some had to have double-sided webbing, because they were going to be appliques.

slob, humor, quilting

Turns out, iron “on”s also iron “off”. Who knew??

Yeah, so that happened!   Oops!    That’s why the directions say “Use a pressing cloth.”   Probably because someone else did that, and sued, so now they have to put warning labels, for the idiots distracted folks like me.   Now, I MUST use a pressing cloth, or I’ll iron these numbers onto something else!

After I did that, I was done for the day.    When I start making big boo-boos, quitting time!

Sayonara till Monday.    More memes to come!

 

Seized Scissors

How many pairs of scissors do I have??

How many pairs of scissors do I need?   

For the Valentine’s party, I started rounding up all my scissors.   And I was seized by dismay, at all the ones I found!

First, the regular blades.

humor, plain blade scissors

Plain ole blades

And the “unofficial” barber scissors, that aren’t sharp enough anymore to be reliable for hair.

humor, slob, 2 pairs barbering scissors

Poor old “decommissioned” barbering shears

 

Then, the fancy blades that cut a pattern.

humor, patterned bladed scissors

Oooooohh! Fancy!

 

And oh yeah, my kitchen shears.

 

And the orange ones.

humor, gardening scissors

Good ole gardening scissors

 

 

I used them to deadhead the roses, since they don’t work very well on paper anymore. So, they’re my official gardening scissors (now anyway)

Annnnd, 1 more pair- my “official” barbering scissors.  Which I couldn’t find when I was hacking up my hair!

humor, slob, barber shears

My “official” barbering shears. Where were they 2 months ago??

Oops! I forgot the ones in the pencil cup!

And, I guess I have to include my sewing/quilting scissors.  

slob, purple sewing scissors set

Titanium even! Oooohh- fancy!

But, don’t you try to use them to cut anything else!  You’ll draw back a nub, mister!

So, I have __14__ pairs of scissors.  Does that mean I’m hoarding them??    But which ones do I give away???    I need them all!!   wailing and gnashing of teeth

Rose’s Reception

My ex-stepmother, Rose, invited me over for dinner.

(Yes, I know my family is weird.  We’re still friends.)

And to make it even weirder, she invited Sweet friend, and XH to play cards with us.   How’d ya like them apples??

20150502_172806

Guest

 

closet under deconstruction

Master carpenter at work! Closet under deconstruction.

 

(Again, yes I know my family is weird.   The weirdest things were #1  When my Mama was living with me and XH, we invited Rose to live with us, because a hurricane had made her homeless.   They had made friends by then, because Rose was divorced from Dad by that time too.    They called each other ex-wives-in-law!!   And if you think THAT was weird, wait till you hear THIS one!   #2  When Sweet Friend needed a place to stay when he retired from the Navy, XH let HIM live with us!   (No, we weren’t running a hotel, even though you would have thought so!   Rose had already moved out by that point.)

XH was really sweet about letting family live with us, when they needed a home.

Okay, well, this post was supposed to be about dinner and cards at Rose’s.   I got WAY off track there!

Anyway, while Rose was cooking, I texted: “Do ya need any help cooking?”   She knew that was a trick question!

But I did go over early, and set the table.   I helped!

Steak, baked potatoes, (in the microwave because she couldn’t start the gas oven, see? I’m not the only one!), and chicken on the grill.  YUMM!!

Then we played cards.   And I won!  That doesn’t happen very often!!

All in all, a terrific night.