I feel good today. I’m so glad. Last night I was so overwhelmed, and exhausted, I was considering taking myself to the hospital again. I have told my counselor repeatedly, that I will never go back there again. (Uh oh, remember when I said I’d learned NEVER to say never again?? Yeah, about that…) But, I was so low, that I was bawling for about an hour. I called my Sis in love, Shirley, and she talked me off the ledge once again. (The first time she talked me out of killing myself, was before I even met her in person. My brother did good, real good.) I wasn’t suicidal last night, but seriously considering going to the hospital is bad, real bad. Anyway, she said I needed time for myself, to have a life, and get out and meet people. That sounded like a real good idea. Shirley is one smart cookie. That reminds me, I’m hungry…
I didn’t have Vanronica, but since it was such lovely weather, I hopped on my scooter, and away I flew rolled to the store, to get some more ice cream bars. What?? Ice cream bars are people too, right?? And, I met a new cashier, so that was getting out and meeting someone.
Not what she meant, Melinda.
No?
No. She meant like, a man person, ya know, a potential date??
Oh, okay. Well, let me finish my story then. I think you’ll approve.
As I rolled through our MH park, eating my i.c .bars, I waved at people, like I always do. One guy I’d never met before, said “Hi”, and another remark. So, I stopped, and we started talking. Now, I’m a talker! And, apparently so is he. We talked for an hour! After admiring the sunset, and learning he lived alone, we sat down in his patio chairs. (He had been standing, and I was on the scooter, which isn’t the best seat in the house! OR yard either.) Eventually we both decided we needed to go. {I really had to GO!!} As we stood up, I stuck out my hand to shake.

My new friend.
He shook his head, “Nope, I’m a hugger.” So, I got a big ole bear hug! Then I asked for another, please! He was only too happy to oblige!

Yeah!! A man hug!!
(These are re-enactments, since my resident photographer was on break at the real first meeting.)
So, now I believe we are going steady! {That was our first date, right??} Look for an engagement announcement soon!
Blessing glad you have found a new friend the lord will show you when the time is right
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Thank you, Linda. Yes, I know He will!
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One step and one day at a time.
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Yes. 😀
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Hi BB FFM,
I am so sorry you were in a bad way last night. Remember, you can email me anytime. I hope things seem brighter this morning.
BFF J
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Hi BBFFJ, Thank you. I was so low, I couldn’t even have typed!
All better!
BBFFM
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Yay!! So happy for you. It’s so much fun to meet new people, isn’t it? No matter where it goes!
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Yes! Thank you! At least a new friend, if nothing else!
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Sorry you were so down dear! Big hugs xoxo
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Thanks, Lynn. I’m doing so much better now!
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I am glad dear! xoxoxo
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😀
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Hope today was a better day for you. Hugs!!
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Thanks so much! Much, much better!!
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At least you are still writing and seeing humor in life. So sorry you have been feeling depressed – that’s just horrible and I feel for you since I know what that feels like. You don’t really want to die but you don’t want to live either – it’s a bad feeling to have. Man hugs are good – get some more! Ice cream bars are bad – stop it – the sugar will make you depressed. Just saying’… xxx
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Thank you, Gilly! I have bi-polar, so depression is often visiting me, sadly.
Truly, it’s awful, you have clinical depression too?
Man hugs-good! Ice cream-bad! I know, just.can’t.seem.to.stop.
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No I don’t have clinical depression but before menopause (all through my life since I started my period), I suffered with depression for 10 days out of every month. I know that horrible place where the whole world is deeply gloomy and you don’t want to live because you don’t feel like you are part of the world anyway.
I do still get very black moods now and then but I have been much happier since menopause ended. So I really feel for anyone who suffers like you must do with Bi-Polar – I was kind of like that because I swung so wildly from happy to the depths of despair as my hormonal balance changed.
I also craved sugar like a junkie and would eat tons of it, as if my life depended on it. It used to push me deeper and deeper into depression and I would sit there sobbing my heart out while stuffing my face with more sugar. Thankfully, I can’t touch sugar now because the effect it has is so bad – I go into a horrible deep sleep that I can’t come out of properly for hours – like being drugged. Even too much sweet fruit will do it. I think my pancreas is shot to bits from a lifetime of binging on sugar! Anyway – I REALLY get how you feel when the black dog comes to visit. xxx
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Oh.My.Goodness!! WOW!! And no one could help with those violent depressions?? Gilly, I’m so glad menopause helped!
Yep, a sugar junkie is exactly it!! I take 5 hour naps, so yeah, I get that too.
Thank you so much for sharing your story!! Everyone in the world needs to have more information, so they can empathize, not stigmatize!
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