Steering Steady

I feel good today.   I’m so glad.   Last night I was so overwhelmed, and exhausted, I was considering taking myself to the hospital again.   I have told my counselor repeatedly, that I will never go back there again.   (Uh oh, remember when I said I’d learned NEVER to say never again??   Yeah, about that…)   But, I was so low, that I was bawling for about an hour.   I called my Sis in love, Shirley, and she talked me off the ledge once again.   (The first time she talked me out of killing myself, was before I even met her in person.   My brother did good, real good.)   I wasn’t suicidal last night, but seriously considering going to the hospital is bad, real bad.   Anyway, she said I needed time for myself, to have a life, and get out and meet people.   That sounded like a real good idea.   Shirley is one smart cookie.   That reminds me, I’m hungry…

I didn’t have Vanronica, but since it was such lovely weather, I hopped on my scooter, and away I flew rolled to the store, to get some more ice cream bars.   What??  Ice cream bars are people too, right??   And, I met a new cashier, so that was getting out and meeting someone.    

Not what she meant, Melinda.

No?

No.   She meant like, a man person, ya know, a potential date??

Oh, okay.    Well, let me finish my story then.   I think you’ll approve.

As I rolled through our MH park, eating my i.c .bars, I waved at people, like I always do.   One guy I’d never met before, said “Hi”, and another remark.   So, I stopped, and we started talking.   Now, I’m a talker!   And, apparently so is he.   We talked for an hour!    After admiring the sunset, and learning he lived alone, we sat down in his patio chairs.  (He had been standing, and I was on the scooter, which isn’t the best seat in the house!   OR yard either.)  Eventually we both decided we needed to go.   {I really had to GO!!}    As we stood up, I stuck out my hand to shake.  

slob, humor, man

My new friend.

 

 

He shook his head, “Nope, I’m a hugger.”   So, I got a big ole bear hug!   Then I asked for another, please!   He was only too happy to oblige!

slob, humor, hug

Yeah!! A man hug!!

(These are re-enactments, since my resident photographer was on break at the real first meeting.)

 

So, now I believe we are going steady!    {That was our first date, right??}   Look for an engagement announcement soon!

 

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19 thoughts on “Steering Steady

  1. At least you are still writing and seeing humor in life. So sorry you have been feeling depressed – that’s just horrible and I feel for you since I know what that feels like. You don’t really want to die but you don’t want to live either – it’s a bad feeling to have. Man hugs are good – get some more! Ice cream bars are bad – stop it – the sugar will make you depressed. Just saying’… xxx

    Liked by 1 person

      • No I don’t have clinical depression but before menopause (all through my life since I started my period), I suffered with depression for 10 days out of every month. I know that horrible place where the whole world is deeply gloomy and you don’t want to live because you don’t feel like you are part of the world anyway.

        I do still get very black moods now and then but I have been much happier since menopause ended. So I really feel for anyone who suffers like you must do with Bi-Polar – I was kind of like that because I swung so wildly from happy to the depths of despair as my hormonal balance changed.

        I also craved sugar like a junkie and would eat tons of it, as if my life depended on it. It used to push me deeper and deeper into depression and I would sit there sobbing my heart out while stuffing my face with more sugar. Thankfully, I can’t touch sugar now because the effect it has is so bad – I go into a horrible deep sleep that I can’t come out of properly for hours – like being drugged. Even too much sweet fruit will do it. I think my pancreas is shot to bits from a lifetime of binging on sugar! Anyway – I REALLY get how you feel when the black dog comes to visit. xxx

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh.My.Goodness!! WOW!! And no one could help with those violent depressions?? Gilly, I’m so glad menopause helped!
        Yep, a sugar junkie is exactly it!! I take 5 hour naps, so yeah, I get that too.
        Thank you so much for sharing your story!! Everyone in the world needs to have more information, so they can empathize, not stigmatize!

        Like

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