Title Time

Okay, now that I don’t have the girls full time anymore, and I can go back to being just “Omie”, instead of nanny, (which, YAY!! btw) I’m gonna get down and dirty, and clean my house!   {Which is about as down and dirty as it can get right now.   IF I’m wrong about that, and it CAN get downer and dirtier, I don’t even wanna know about it!!}

slob, humor, shuddering

My feelings exactly!!


OH really??   {eyebrow raised to the scalp}   I’ll believe it when I see it!!   With a today’s newspaper in the pic, to prove the time stamp please!!

Okay, I just might do that very thing, smarty pants!    But seriously, how long has it really been since I cleaned?  Only 6 or 7 weeks… right??

Try 70??!!

slob, humor, wow face



Nuh,uh!!   That’s over a year!   I’ve only been here in my newest place for 2,4…(having to employ both hands) 9 months!   So that can’t be!

Well, it certainly has been a L O N G time!!

I know.   But it’s hard for me to even have the energy to take a shower when I have the girls, never mind cleaning!!    Do you know you have to change dirty diapers at least every 2 hours???   And that the baby wants to be fed every 4??    And ya have to mix the formula, and the rice cereal…   And the toddler wants to be fed every 4 hours, and it takes 30 minutes to figure out what she wants to eat, but they are not ever the same hour??    I’m not telling the Mommies anything they don’t know, but some people might not, that’s why I’m here!    To tell ya, it’s work!!   Don’t EVER DARE ask a mommy, if they work!!!!   Raising kids is the hardest job on the planet!!   Okay, stepping down off my soap box now.

Where was I??   Oh yeah, yakking instead of cleaning…Ok. here we go!!                                            

slob, humor, purple clock


So sorry, time’s up for today folks.   

Come back tomorrow!






Harrowing Haircut

Well, I finally got around to it.   


I got my celebratory, end-of-summer, yay, it’s-only-96-in-the-shade-instead-of-106, haircut.   AND, I specifically told the barber, neighbor Jeanette, to leave the top longer, so I can look like a girl.   (What is it with people thinking if you’re bald, or nearly so, that you don’t look feminine???)

When I got to her house, my hair was dry.   But, Vanronica’s butt was out in the street, and a truck drove by so slowly, and hestitated so long, it insinuated that it could barely squeeze by.   So Jeanette said, “Ya better move it before the parking police get here.”    (The golf cart posse, in other words.)


slob, humor, parking

“Ya gotta park THIS way, bud.” dainfo.com


So, out I dutifully went, to remove the offending object.   But neighbor Irlene was out, and hailed me.    {Not with small chunks of ice, either.}    So, I stood there chatting a few minutes.   Well, then Jeanette had to come hunt me down.   Surprise!   When I got back inside, my hair was soaking wet.   Well, no one was REALLY surprised.    So, I had to towel off, before she could begin.   AND, because it was still damp, she used the scissors, instead of the clippers.   I mean, she tried to use the clippers, (after I anxiously inquired whether or not I’d be a french fry, if she did), but if you’ve ever tried that on damp hair, you know what happened.    A whole lotta nothing.

After my nod of approval, she sprinkled powder on my neck.


I started coughing, and choking, and feeling like I was gonna die.

“Do ya need a water??”   She inquired nervously.

I tried to reply, but didn’t have the breath.

I dragged my carcass outside, and made it across the {2 feet of} yard.   Leaning on Vanronica’s haunches, I gasped, and coughed, and generally caused everyone to think I needed 911.

Soooo, we both agreed never to use powder again….

Who knew a haircut would be such a  harrowing experience??

But, we need the answer to the REAL question!!

Oooo kaaaay.   What’s that??

How did the haircut turn out?   Obviously you’re fine.

Well! {huffy tone}   Thanks for your touching concern!

Welcome!   {doesn’t understand sarcasm, obviously!!}   Now show us the pix!!

What do you say??

Pleeeeeease??  Pretty please??   With a dollop of Brylcreem on top??

slob, humor, Brylcreem

For all you youngsters who’ve never heard of Brylcreem before, it was an ancient form of Bedhead. http://www.feelunique.com


slob, humor, bedhead cream

For all you oldsters who’ve never heard of Bedhead before, it’s modern Brylcreem for the smart-alek whippersnappers. http://www.pinterest.com


{Everybody good now??    We all on the same catalog page?   Good, let’s move on.}

Fine, here.   It looks pretty good, if I do say so myself, who shouldn’t.  


I love my little silver wings!!                                      Nice, no??   Do I still look like a girl?