Choice Church Chuckles

It’s Monday again!!  Yaya!     Yet another week that I don’t have to go face students in a classroom!!     I really am so thankful for that, you really have no idea.    Well, if you’ve ever done it, then you probably do!

Anyway, our meme theme this week is church chuckles, once again.     These are my choices for your entertainment.    These are meant to have a lighthearted laugh over, not to mock church.    Just thought I better straighten that out at the git go.

Okay, enough dilly dallying!     Let’s laugh!

slob, humor, church memeslob, humor, church meme  slob, humor, church memeslob, humor, church meme

 Uh huh!!  I got that eye several times!        Ouch!!   That one stepped on my toes!!

slob, humor, church meme     Yup, when what you’re thinking can’t be said out loud!

slob, humor, church meme

slob, humor, church meme

slob, humor, church meme

                                                   That’s about right!!

slob, humor, church meme

Solution- memorize the whole Bible!!    😉     A wonderful idea, just not sure I can at this point in my life!    (Just like I’m guessing they pretended to proof read!!   “Your” is not you are!!)

So, how hard did you laugh??     I hope long, and loud!!

See ya next Monday, with more memes.

Tomorrow with more slob adventures.

Bad, Bad Shoes.

Since I didn’t manage to write a post for today, please enjoy this golden oldie!

purpleslobinrecovery

(Did you hear the scolding tone of the title? I totally meant it to sound like I was yelling at a dog for messing in the house.) Look closely at my shoes, see any problems??

{The sole was peeling away from the sides.}

(I messed up with these photos.  At that time, I didn’t know if you deleted them from the library, that they disappeared from the post.    I know, you might think it’s a “DUH!”     But, to me it wasn’t.     So, now I have missing pix in some posts.      And, due to the fact that the shoes went in the trash, I can’t recover the pix.)   slob, humor, sad

I knew they were old, but really????  This is why I prefer to go barefoot, but the hot sidewalks are brutal here in FL!!  Okay, so I bought a new pair, since I can no…

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Toddler Tornado Times Two

Remember the Toddler Tornado??        Well, now I have that times two!          PPJr isn’t toddling on her own 2 feet yet, but she is mobile!  

Oh, if only I could show y’all pix of my 2 girls!!         They are too gorgeous for words!         But, you’ll just have to take mine for it.         

Watch out!!      I’d forgotten exactly how far those little arms can reach!!         Almost as if she suddenly became Stretch Armstrong!  

slob, humor, Stretch Armstrong       (Do any of you whippersnappers know who he is??   He was so much fun to play with!      And to have strength contests with!       Whoever made his arms the longest was the “Armstrong”est!)        

Nothing is safe now!     She knocked over my water bottle.      She tried to grab my Bible off the table,  she stuck her hands in her sister’s plate of mac and cheese!

The aftermath:

Slob, humor, baby mess    She just started getting teething biscuits and Cheerios.      The teething biscuit was enjoyed by all!      (The paper was placed there by PP, after Jr. was removed from the scene, don’t worry!)

slob, humor, clutter

 

 

Not as bad as it could be!      Notice the stickers on the chair leg,  apparently the resident designer didn’t approve of the plain look!

 

 

 

Annnd, I forgot to take the pic of the floor that PP also decided was too plain, and stickered all to pieces.      Too late now, I already had a whoop-it-up-fun-party-time scraping ’em all up!!

slob, humor, baby mess     I need more of those baby-strap-the-toy-down-so-you-don’t-have-to-bend-over-five-thousand-times-a-day things!!       Because I have a feeling that PP is going to find out soon enough, that it’s not a fun game!

slob, humor, baby mess     Yes, this is more baby mess, okay, well, not all of it.      PP was “editing” our video collection, and somehow the pile fell over.     How did that happen??       Hmmm, she seemed surprised.        slob, humor, toddler mess      Ice pop tunnel.       (Sis gave me about 25 boxes of ice pops.     Even after donating 6 to my friend with 6 kids, exactly how many did I have left over??       PP can’t count that high, so we may never know!!       But after the freezer is full, there’s still plenty of boxes to build with!!)

slob, humor, bath mess      Bath aftermath.      2 towels for PP, what do you mean why??       She has to dry her hair too, ya know!      {The trash can is included free.}     The blankie was used as a bib, when I couldn’t reach one fast enough!      (Do NOT ask why!!)

slob, humor, toddler mess       The annex to PP’s art studio.

slob, humor, toddler mess

 

 

 

So much for “Keep it all on the table!”

 

  

slob, humor, baby mess

Claremary,  I  do try to use paper plates, yet I still end up with dishes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, all in all, not enough damage to declare a disaster area, just enough to give me some work to get it all neat and clean again!       And, they’ll happily do the damage all over again, when they come over next!        And, I’ll happily clean it up all over again!!        It works for us!

Bring it on, my toddler tornado times two!!

slob, humor, grandmother linky

I’m trying to figure out how to make it a real button!! Have patience, please!!

Hopefully soon I’ll figure out how to make the button function as it should.

http://grammysgrid.com/blogging-grandmothers-link-party-1/

Fivehundred Followers

slob, humor, followers milestone
Congratulations on getting 500 total follows on purpleslobinrecovery!
Your current tally is 501.
Thank you for the props, WordPress!
Woo Hoo!!      I’ve made it to the big time now!!         Only took me 2 years, too!!           Don’t you wanna be an overnight success like me??!!!
I  slob, humor, love       y’all!!      All my readers, commenters, and followers!!
slob, humor, kisses

Kim’s Kwilt Komplished

IT’S DONE!!!!!

YES I KNOW o sorry, yes I know I was shouting, but it’s done!!!!!

First there was Kim’s kwilt    Then Kim’s Kwilt Coming, then Kim’s Kwilt Continued.

And now finally:  Kim’s Kwilt is Komplished!!

(I need to show you her pattern that she handed me 9 l-o-n-g years ago.)

slob, humor, quilt plan

All drawn up officially and everything!

After her college graduation passed, with no evidence of a quilt, I think she resigned herself to the fact that she’d never see it in her lifetime.  And the only way she’d ever get ANY use outta it, is if her grand kids hurriedly stitched it together for her burial shroud.   {These may or may not have been her actual thoughts.}

So we finally have arrived at the grand day!!   Her graduation as a Doctor day!!   (May 20)

I’m thinking of handing her the quilt, as she walks off stage, instead of the traditional bouquet of flowers.   Whaddya think???

Maybe not.        Especially since it was still in pieces on that glorious day.       

Therefore: I had to default to the flowers.

slob, humor, graduate ceremony

Proud Mama and Doctor!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back to the kwilt:

Blood, sweat, and tears have gone into the making of this historic quilt.   It’s the only one of it’s kind, (made by me), and will remain the ONLY one ever made by me!    Anybody else asks for a T-shirt quilt, this is gonna be their answer.

slob, humor, washing dishes

That’s my look too!!

Same look, different task

Have I made myself clear??   I think so.

Sashing the final 2 rows together.  

slob, humor, quilting

Final row being sashed! Yipee!

Preview, after top pieced together.

slob, humor, quilting

Top completely pieced together.

For the back, even more blood, sweat, and tears:

slob, humor, quilt

Do ya see the problem here?? I forgot to measure twice first!!

But, there were moments of bliss.

slob, humor, quilting

This is the finest example of a perfectly matched seam in existence today. Look closely folks, this might be the last one you ever see!!

Here it is Sept 26th, and I just now finished ironing on the letters for her schools.   Sad, I know.   But remember ALL the months of babysitting I did between May 20, and now??

Okay, on to the really good stuff!!   Drum roll please….

Ta-Da!!   Here it is in all it’s glory!!

May I present, Kim’s Kwilt Komplished!!!      

slob, humor, quilt finished!

It was already folded in half, cuz I wanted ya to see my face!

Now the back:

slob, humor, back of quilt

I’m almost having a headache from that lattice pattern spinning!

 

slob, humor, kwilt done!!

Finally! Kwilt done-done!

All pressed, folded and ready to ship!

I put much love into every stitch, Kim.   I pray it keeps you warm for many years, and brings you many good memories of me, and how much I love you.

(Yes, sadly it’s taken me till Oct. 21st to finally get it all done, but, hey!    At least it’s still 2016!!   (Only 4 years, 6 months, and 1 day late!       But eh, who’s counting??)

Matthew Memes

AS you all probably know, we had a “killer” storm here earlier this month.        My condolences to the family of the 1 lady that died.


These memes are too funny!!

slob, humor, Matthew memeslob, humor, Matthew meme    Bwahahaha!!

slob, humor, Matthew meme   Poor guy!!    slob, humor, Matthew meme   No cats were harmed in the making of this meme!!

slob, humor, Matthew meme

Pretty much!!

slob, humor, Matthew meme

Anyone else remember him?  Lol

slob, humor, Matthew meme

Just fine, thanks!!     Didn’t lose a single palm frond!

slob, humor, Matthew meme

I don’t really understand if this one is funny, or not. But I guess they had to include him since he’s named Matthew.

 

slob, humor, Matthew meme     Nope, don’t understand this one either, since I don’t watch TV.      Y’all tell me.     Is it funny??

slob, humor, Matthew meme

 

 

 

 

 

Yep!   That was about the extent of it at my house!

(Next time I wish they’d use spellcheck.)

Hospitality House

The Saturday after Hurricane Matthew, I decided to have some peeps for dinner.     

Since when are you a cannibal??

WHAT??    ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

Re-read that sentence.

Oh, yeah, okay, I see the problem there.     Saturday, I decided to have some peeps OVER for dinner!

Much better!

And even though I had had the girls overnight, it still only took me about 10 min. to make the living room and dining room/kitchen presentable!!       That was a huge accomplishment!!

slob, humor, covered clutter  Yup, hid some baby toys under that there blankie!!

And yes, I threw put some of the bulky stuff in the girls’ room, but I wasn’t madly running thru the house, just throwing stuff any ole where!

slob, humor, clutterslob, humor, clutter?    After all, where does the girls’ stuff belong, if not in their room??

{throat clearing}      What about this??

slob, humor, clutter     (Please note: Dresser top is still neat, except for the 1 blankie!)

Yes, I did put all the sewing/quilting stuff from the dining table, in the crib.      And your point?

Well, you shoved stuff.

True, but that was only a small bit of stuff, and the sewing room IS in my room, so MY point still holds!     “I wasn’t madly running thru the house, just throwing stuff any ole where!”

Mama was spending the afternoon, with me and the girls, and I decided I needed to feed her, for once.     Usually I say, “Sorry, Mama, I don’t have anything.”      (For some reason she won’t eat PP’s canned mac and cheese. )

 slob, humor, winky 

So, I thawed some chix thighs, put them in (Rose’s) crock pot.        Then, I cut up onions, put them in crock, and there was no room for the potatoes!       Mama and Rose were NOT happy about that development!       I blithely said, “We’ll just have to mash them then! “Knowing good and well I didn’t intend to mash them!}

But, I did peel the potatoes.      By this time, I was exhausted, and needed some refreshment. So, I peeled, and sliced some apples for PP, and ate some.      Ah!     The restorative powers of sustenance!

Then I washed off table, and set it.      Washed enough forks.

SF kindly cooked the broccoli, after Mama mashed the taters.      Rose had gone home, and baked put a blackberry cobbler in the oven.     Oh so yummm!!       (Even the store bought stuff tastes good with vanilla ice cream on it!)     And, for all those watching my diet for me, no, it wasn’t GF.      slob, humor, sad               After dinner, I cleared the dishes, and stopped Mama from washing them all.     She managed to get most of the pots done, before I caught her!

slob, humor, dinner dishesslob, humor, dinner dishesslob, humor, pot dreggs

   {Could you have guessed our menu from the crock dreggs??}

I didn’t finish them till next day.     Babysitting, cooking, and cleaning was enough for 1 day!!

The last time I had  peeps over for a meal was Dec. 24, 2015, for the Hawkins family Christmas Eve party.      And to prepare for that took a month, and 3 sessions with an organizer, and 1 pd cleaning!!

I’ve come a long way, baby!!

Pig Post

In Declutterathon Daze, I called myself a pig.

http://anythingexcepthousework.co.uk/   Gilly called me on it.      Her impassioned plea, “But pleeeeeeease don’t ever refer to yourself as a pig again.😦 I know pigs are cute and all that stuff and you were probably joking etc but be kind to yourself! And if you can’t – then let other people be kind to you – you are not a pig Melinda! You are a beautiful, intelligent, entertaining human being who loves ice cream bars a bit too much🙂.”

(Thanks for all the love, and compliments, Gilly!!)

She wasn’t the only one. Holy Spirit did too.     {I do NOT hear His voice audibly, it’s in my spirit., and thru His Word, the Bible.    I’m using blue for Him, because I want to make the distinction between talking to myself, and Him.   He is a real person.)

Holy Spirit said,  (gently) Melinda, re-read what you just wrote.   What did you call yourself?”

A pig.

“Are you really, literally, a pig?”

No.

“Who does the Bible say you are?”

A new creation in Christ.    2 Corinthians 5:17 [Full Chapter]   KJV

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
“What else?”

A child of God, and  joint heir with Christ.

Romans 8:17   KJV
And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and jointheirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
“So, by calling yourself bad names, what are you doing, in essence?”
Calling God a liar.

“Do you really think God is a liar??”

NO!

“Good.   Then what do you have to do?”

Repent!!   Ask God forgiveness!!

“And?   What else?”

Never do that again!     Remember I am a joint heir with Christ, seated with Christ in heavenly places.

Ephesians 2:6     KJV
And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:

 

“Yes, indeed, my girl.    Remember, God loves you.   Always.”

John 3:16     KJV

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

I am a daughter of God, joint heir with Christ, loved by God!slob, humor, happy!

Declutterathon Dresser Drawers

slob, humor, declutterathon

Finally- day 21!!       It seems like it’s taken me a month longer than everybody else to do a 3 week challenge!!      (Maybe because it HAS??      Queen Anne finished hers on Sept. 25! )

FPPPTT!!     (Exactly how do you spell that rude raspberry noise??)       Never mind, this’ll do.      slob, humor, raspberry

Alrightey, then!      Let’s dive straight into the straightening!!  

Timer set?       Ready, steady, set, GO!!      slob, humor, GO!

Top drawer revealed:   slob, humor, cluttered drawer  Dresser drawers!!      Not Southern type “drawers”!!

slob, humor, cluttered drawer   2nd drawer.      slob, humor, not too bad    3rd drawer.

Need to find the pic of the bottom drawer!!

In the top drawer I had tons of expired meds.      NOT good!!        I know, I know!!

slob, humor, cluttered     Aha!   Here it is!      The bottom drawer pic, I mean.     Okay, back to the expired meds.       Lots and LOTS of expired med!   

Lots, and LOTs of expired meds!      slob, humor, expired medicine      13 bottles, 1 baggy, and 2 boxes.        The top box is not even my med!       How do I have my Mama’s med???        So, I have it bagged up to take to the expired med. drop off place.        Thanks, Queen Anne for the info on finding that expired med. drop off place.      Also in the top drawer, was a memory T-shirt.       slob, humor, old memory     It seems unreal that I used to fit into this shirt!        No, we don’t need to mention how many years ago!!       My college BFF, Joyous, gave it to me, after she graduated our college, and moved on to the next one.      (3 guesses what it was! )       It is now in the memory box.

Also, a purple little bin, and a charging cord.       slob, humor, clutter       Could this be the charging cord for the laptop I already gave away???        If it is, happily, the lady lives just down the street!

Oh my, that 2nd drawer!!        What a literal treasure trove!!         I wonder how many elementary treasure chests you could stock outta that drawer??

Let’s see:

slob, humor, art- not clutter!slob, humor, not clutterslob, humor, art- not clutter! slob, humor, art- not clutterslob, humor, not clutter! just needs installedslob, humor, clutter?

Well, maybe not the vinyl letters…..      And the light switch plate is slated for the girls’ room.

slob, humor, nope, not a pair  Nice pair of purple gloves!!           Nope, not a pair.         Seriously??         Now we’re gonna start the whole thing over again, but with single gloves???              slob, humor, matched pair        Well, at least I have  1 matched pair!!         And since winter is only approx 49 hours long, I think I’ll be okay.      So the 2 spares went in file 13.        Yay!       Another slam dunk!          (But speaking of winter- where’s my hat?????)

Look what the 3rd drawer had in store, Jen!    slob, humor, single sock = clutter!      These single socks seem determined to follow in our very foot steps!!          Buh, bye!

slob, humor, clutter?    Bottom held this gem, along with fabric.        The fabric was shifted over to the left side, along with all the other fabric.       Now, what to do with this???   I no longer take breathing treatments.        (And haven’t in the last 8 years.     I do believe I’m good!)       But do I keep it just in case I ever do??           If I can donate it, where??           Questions, questions, everywhere, and no answers in sight.       I need a little Nony help right now!       I guess I’ll call the pharmacy, and see what they say.

Dresser drawers denuded:

Top.   slob, humor, declutteredslob, humor, decluttered    How neat and organized!!        I love it!!          Thank you!!           (IF you’re wondering what those vials are, they held the expired epi-pens.      Nony suggested keeping them for little stuff.         Like PP’s confetti, maybe??        Definitely!!)

2nd dresser drawer.   slob, humor, decluttered. just not organized      Ummm, well…. it’s decluttered …        Yup!  Undies only!!              And socks.             Yes, undies- tops, and bottoms, and socks.          But certainly not Kon-maried!!           And that’s ok.         It’s decluttered, only undies are there, and I’m all good with that!!

3rd drawer.         slob, humor, decluttered. not organized. There's a difference.         The all jammies, all the time drawer!           I’m excited that now I know where to put stuff, and I can find it now!!

Bottom:  The piece de resistance!              slob, humor, all decluttered!!

Just look at all that lovely empty space!!        Woot Woot!        I’m so proud of you!!         Thank you!!       I’m quite proud of myself!         Now, the trick is to keep it like that!!         You know they will want to see an update in a month or so!       I’ll keep that in mind!

Thus endeth the Royal Challenge of the Declared Declutterathon.        Queen Anne hath declared her pleasure with all her Ladies-In-Waiting!!  

slob, humor, queen

Queen Anne, that is!

Thank you, my Queen!

 

Queen Anne’s Day  21: https://minimalistsometimes.com/2016/09/25/21-21-the-final-cull/

 

Queen Anne’s other Ladies-in-Waiting:

Grace, at The CFO MOM Blog

Jen, at The Hidden Hoarder

Barb, at Decluttering The Stuff

 

Queen Anne’s newest Ladies-in-Waiting:
Gilly, at Anything but housework

Liliia, at Bring your baby abroad 

Declutterathon Deck

slob, humor, declutterathon

Not really deck, so much as carport.     And I was forced to work on this area, courtesy of Hurricane Matthew.        Thanks for nothing, Matt!

Old non-working dryer.   slob, humor, clutter    Cane fishing pole. slob, humor, more clutter

Shelf full of more clutter.    slob, humor, clutter   As a matter of fact, the shelf itself is clutter!

Random piece of trash.    slob, humor, not even clutter, plain trash    Guess where it went???

slob, humor, clutter just moved    The shelf clutter, just re-situated, inside the workshop.

slob, humor, decluttered    Look Mom!   No cane!!    slob, humor, decluttered (mostly)

All nice and decluttered!!       Except PP decided the shelf looked too bare, and started fall decorating early!!          That’s my baby!      (Those brown lumps are seed pods.)

Now I just need someone to haul away the dryer, and someone to put the shelf out by the road for pick up.      Then, my deck (read: carport)  will be really decluttered!!      Don’t look for clean- NOT gonna go out there and sweep!!

 

 

Queen Anne’s other Ladies-in-Waiting: