Sneaky Snake

There I was, just sorting my mail, like any ordinary day.       I raised up the garbage can lid, to throw away the junk, and lo and behold- Snake!!       It hit the ground, to my horror, and dismay!      I immediately called XH in a panic, yelling “SNAKE< GET HERE NOW!!”           Thank God he was home, and raced over (those 2 blocks took him forever!- well, it felt that way.)      

He said, “Oh, it’s dead.”       My response was “Well, it hasn’t moved yet, but that doesn’t mean it’s dead!!      STOMP it!”

When he got close, the faker started striking at his boot.       Prompting another round of hysterical crying and babbling from me.       

KILL it!!   KILL it!!      STOMP it DEAD!!”

He kept trying to calm me down.     (XH, not the evil serpent!)

Once he stomped the life outta it, he swept it up with a small broom, into the dustpan, and interred it in the green tomb.      (I tried to stop him from getting so close, because I was sure it was only faking its own death.     Most likely for the insurance money.     He needed to take care of his family ya know.    And the lizard market had turned belly up.)

slob, humor, dead snake

                                                             The only good kind of snake!!

As XH led me into the house, still sobbing, (me, not the house) he tried to calm me down by saying ” It’s okay, they don’t run in pairs.”       How does he know???       What if that was a mommy, and the baby would be out for revenge?????       Or worse, vice versa???        Great, now I have to move again!

XH said not to worry about it, that is was only a rat snake.    I didn’t care!      I wanted it annihilated!       When I texted pic to SIL, he confirmed rat snake ID.      So, okay, maybe it wasn’t gonna kill me!    Whew!       But better safe than sorry, in my book!

 

RIP you evil thing.        No, actually, I don’t want you to rest in peace, I really want you to rest in PIECES!!          (Do ya think XH will dig it back up outta the garbage can, so I can chop it up???)

 

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42 thoughts on “Sneaky Snake

  1. Aww, poor little snake. I hate to see any creature get killed, obviously I am not afraid of spiders or snakes (like that old song, LOL). I would have picked him up by the back of his head and tossed back outside! Glad you are OK and didn’t suffer a coronary over the experience 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was smiling through the whole experience, sorry! When you watch comedies the way you laugh when people walk into a board or trip, that kind of funny. It helped with all your “asides” comments, dear. 😀
    I am not crazy about snakes and my son is my hero! He will catch wild critters and let them go in a nearby field. Snakes help keep other critters population down. But, no lectures just a “let the guy go” plea, next time! ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I just about stepped on one in the yard one day. Don’t know what kind it was and it got away but I screamed really loud. No one came running so I guess no one heard me. Thanks so much Melinda for joining in on our Blogging Grandmothers Link Party #2. We sure appreciate you partying with us! Looking forward to you joining us again next weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well I don’t know who XH is but I do know he is my hero. I agree, if a snake is moving, it is a threat. I don’t know one from the other so I don’t trust any snake. Funny story and I am glad it all ended well. Thank you for sharing with Blogging Grandmothers. Please join us again this week.

    Liked by 1 person

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