There I was, just sorting my mail, like any ordinary day. I raised up the garbage can lid, to throw away the junk, and lo and behold- Snake!! It hit the ground, to my horror, and dismay! I immediately called XH in a panic, yelling “SNAKE< GET HERE NOW!!” Thank God he was home, and raced over (those 2 blocks took him forever!- well, it felt that way.)
He said, “Oh, it’s dead.” My response was “Well, it hasn’t moved yet, but that doesn’t mean it’s dead!! STOMP it!”
When he got close, the faker started striking at his boot. Prompting another round of hysterical crying and babbling from me.
“KILL it!! KILL it!! STOMP it DEAD!!”
He kept trying to calm me down. (XH, not the evil serpent!)
Once he stomped the life outta it, he swept it up with a small broom, into the dustpan, and interred it in the green tomb. (I tried to stop him from getting so close, because I was sure it was only faking its own death. Most likely for the insurance money. He needed to take care of his family ya know. And the lizard market had turned belly up.)
The only good kind of snake!!
As XH led me into the house, still sobbing, (me, not the house) he tried to calm me down by saying ” It’s okay, they don’t run in pairs.” How does he know??? What if that was a mommy, and the baby would be out for revenge????? Or worse, vice versa??? Great, now I have to move again!
XH said not to worry about it, that is was only a rat snake. I didn’t care! I wanted it annihilated! When I texted pic to SIL, he confirmed rat snake ID. So, okay, maybe it wasn’t gonna kill me! Whew! But better safe than sorry, in my book!
RIP you evil thing. No, actually, I don’t want you to rest in peace, I really want you to rest in PIECES!! (Do ya think XH will dig it back up outta the garbage can, so I can chop it up???)