Womanly Woes


slob, humor, sad story

Here’s the rest of the story that I promised you back in Paper Purgathon- Perch.

This pic is from the day I became a “woman.”      It started out as a happy day- we were going to Busch Gardens with some friends.     YAY!       (The 2 women in front of me are Mama, on the left, and our friend, Kathy, to the right.)

The back story is: I was 15 and 1/2, and had not become a “woman” yet.     All my other friends and family, aunts my age, cousins, etc, had become “women” when they were 13 or so.    2 and a half YEARS before me!!     And here I still was a little girl!!      Not only was I sad about it, I was angry!!       And scared!!        I truly was wondering whether I was really a girl or not!      I had been begging Mama to take me to the Dr, for testing to see what was wrong with me!        With her wisdom, she refused.       She told me to try to calm down, that I really was a girl for sure, and wait.    I demanded to know HOW she knew I was really a girl, not a defective weirdo.     She told me to trust her, as my Mama, she promised I would become a woman soon.    She had been a late bloomer too.   And she warned me, that when I did, I’d be sorry that I wasted all that time griping, instead of enjoying NOT being a woman!

I told her “NO!   I will NEVER be sorry I’m a woman, once I finally do become one, IF I EVER do!”     (Just like every defiant, bratty child ever, in the whole world.)

Well, that pic shows the story, don’t it?      I became a woman, at Busch Gardens.     And was I happy about it??        You tell me??     NOPE!     As sure as Mama had predicted, it was NOT fun!     I was NOT glad it happened!!     I wanted it to stop now!      I was over it, thanks!

I can imagine God was up in heaven, listening to me gripe, sighing.     “Melinda, Melinda, Melinda.     You wanted to be a woman, but I was delaying it till you were ready.   You weren’t happy.     Now, you’re a woman, and you’re not happy!       What will make you happy??”

And I can imagine an angel leaning over, and whispering, “Um, God?”

God says “Yes?”

The angel:  “You created her, don’t you know what will make her happy??”

God says. “Sure I do, but she don’t wanna listen to me!     I’ve been telling her Mama what to say, and her Mama’s been saying it, but will she listen??       Nooooooo.”


{If you think this sounds irreverent, it’s not meant to be.     It’s just my thoughts.}

So, the moral of the story is:  Be patient for what you want!    Sometimes God is delaying it for your own good!    And, when you finally get what you’ve been asking for for YEARS- try to be grateful!!!



And I’ve been a woman to this day.       {But I really was happy when I had a hysterectomy- just saying!}



32 thoughts on “Womanly Woes

  1. Busch Gardens is a great park. Sorry you found “the curse” there. ^_^ I used to go to the Busch Gardens in Williamsburg VA all the time, but I’ve never been to the one in FL.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Melinda,
    I loved your story- it was honest and down to earth, without much of that purple humour you are capable of and with which you clothe your deeper thoughts, often, at least in your posts.
    What are the Busch gardens ?
    I got it at school one day- my mom used to check my panties everyday, without my knowledge or I was dense. Anyway, one day after school when I was changing clothes, she picked up a soiled underwear and said, you are a woman now.
    You are right – we need to wait for our turn -maybe God keeps a waiting list and sees what is urgent for a person and does that first- ???

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lol! That look says it all! I remember my day too, my mum had prepared me for it with a little book but I was still shocked when it happened and cried. Then I became a murderous demon for 10 days out of every month. Like your hysterectomy, menopause was a blessed relief. Will be back for a catch up of your posts very soon, I go ‘off duty’ briefly this afternoon when my sister comes back until Saturday. Then I am off again for three whole days from Sunday night! See you soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, lol, when I was going thru pix for another reason, I saw that and instantly knew I had to blog about it!
      Only 10 days a month?? HaHa
      Thanks for stopping by, when you have such limited free time! I really appreciate it!
      3 whole days!! Woo hoo!! You’ll be kicking up your heels! (Or sawing logs, whichever!)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I was a late bloomer, too, Melinda! ( I didn’t care yet). My mom thought I was going to be too tall (ended up at 5’8″), so she convinced the OB/GYN to feed me estrogen in the form of birth control at age 14. Sure I started and instantly gained 35 pounds, weight that I have been battling ever since. I guess we better watch what we wish for, eh?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi I already follow your fab blog, so thought I would share that I am super excited as I am officially in the running for the UK BLOG AWARDS 2017! If you could click the link and choose FoodandDrink&Lifestyle on the drop down menu:
    Thank you kindly in advance your vote is much appreciated
    Melanie xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Excellently Exciting!! | purpleslobinrecovery

  7. Pingback: Bladder Blather | purpleslobinrecovery

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s