Stellar Stella

Stellar Stella was my first commenter ever!

Day One

What an awesome first post! You just put it out there right from the start.

 

We met on Dana’s A Slob Comes Clean.      And fell into “Like” right away!

We had so much in common!       (Well, not our ages, she’s still a young woman, and I’m a middle aged woman, but age is only a number!)

We both read ASCC, and comment!!

We are both struggling with housework.   

We are both determined to get our houses under control.

We both sew.

We both blog.


We both live in…    Oh wait! I live in Fl, and she lives in Australia.        So, that would be a difference (BIG DIFFERENCE) then, instead of a similarity, right?            Whatever!!       We both live in countries that start with “A”.         Um, Melinda???      USA doesn’t start with “A”.     Well, America does, so there, smarty pants!

We are both photographers.        Ahem, again, I must point out the fallacy of your statement.     You, my dear, are no photographer.      I take pix, ergo, I am a photographer.     I didn’t say I was a great one, like Stella, just that I AM one.        Ah!      Agreed then.

We both ordered Dana’s book, immediately!          

We both took pix of ourselves, peeking over the top of the book, without even knowing the other did it!      (I thought that was too funny!     Just something about that book, I guess!)

slob, humor, Stella  slob, humor, Melinda

(Yeah, hers is better than mine.      Can you tell she is a professional photog???)

Alrighty, then.    Sounds like y’all just might be long lost twins!      Anything else?


Stellar Stella was quoted in Dana’s book!!

“But the real reason I’m sharing this with you – well, other then that it just might be exactly what you need right now – is that I’m quoted in the book!!!!

In the chapter ‘The Truth About Habits” on page 35, under the heading ‘For Those Assuming The Dish Washer Thing Doesn’t Apply Because They Don’t Have Dishwashers” you will find a little quote from yours truly.”

 

Not that I was, or anything, just giving a shout out to my friend!!       (But I was quoted in my BBFFJ’s ebook!)

So, that statement should have been:  “We are both quoted in books.”        Yes, yes, you are so persnickety sometimes!


Okay, I guess that’s all for now.     But seriously, go check out Stella’s blog, Purfylle, and you’ll agree with me that she is stellar!!

Bad Brian’s Bwahahahas

Of course Brian’s full name is Bad Luck Brian, but you know why I had to leave out the “L” word.

Just like the Crazy Girlfriend, I love Bad Luck Brian!     His memes are full of bwhahahahas!   Even tho his life is one big tragedy, ya just can’t help but look, just like a wreck!

slob, humor, Bad Luck Brian meme  slob, humor, Bad Luck Brian meme slob, humor, Bad Luck Brian memeslob, humor, Bad Luck Brian memeslob, humor, Bad Luck Brian meme

slob, humor, Bad Luck Brian meme   Oh the agony!!  Probably his twin brother too!!    Ouch!

slob,humor, Bad Luck Brian meme  slob, Bad Luck Brian meme slob, humor, Bad Luck Brian memeslob, humor, Bad Luck Brian meme

End of poor Bad Luck Brian’s sad story of sorrow.

 

Shower Shopping

We ALL know how much I hate my blue shower curtain, right??      

                 (And those nasty, green/blue shower hooks!      They made me shudder!!)

  Yes, Melinda, we know.          Okay, then.     Here’s the story of shopping for a new one.

I only had a dollar, and 7 cents.      So, of course I headed to the Dollar Tree.        Love that store!!         I was on a mission.       Get a new shower curtain, or bust!       (Bonus: if I couldn’t find one, I could always get some chocolate bananas as a consolation prize!)

Here’s the selection I found.

Ummmm, not to my taste, to put it delicately.        Frankly, all the patterned ones were U to the G ugly!         The plain white one would have to do, I guess.   sigh       Since the one you might think was purple, was actually a dull blue.     😦

I was impressed however, with the variety!       Considering that they were only a dollar each!

I persevered, and found a clear one.      YAY!!      Then I could still see my ugly walls!!       Ugh.

So, I brought home the clear one.     And it sat.   And it sat…….      Too many “sat”s to say.  

Months went by.          One day, when Sis came over to take me penny shopping at Dollar General, I went by the shower curtain aisle, and found these.

slob, humor, pretty shower curtain hooks

Only $4!!      And they’ll dress up that plain clear curtain, so prettily!!         But, still they sat, and sat, and sat.

I just had no energy to put up the clear curtain, even tho I had these pretty rings to dress it up.        sigh

I was discouraged.

Then something wonderful happened!!        I went to a different DG, with Mama, and lo and behold, what did I see???       Could it be???      YES!!    A purple, honest to goodness purple, shower curtain!!       After I recovered from my swoon, I scooped it up and RAN to the checkout!!          I asked Mama, “Is this purple, like I think it is??”       (Just to make SURE my eyes weren’t deceiving me!!)                   When she said, “Yes”, I almost wept in relief!

slob, humor, PURPLE!! IT"S PURPLE shower curtain           slob, humor, dead blue ugly shower curtain

Haha!      I’m so happy to see the last of that blah blue blob, that I want to dance a jig on its grave!       (But!   Seeing as how I probably couldn’t fit my ski-boat feet into that little garbage can, I better restrain myself!!       But I’m doing it in my head!!)

NOW!!     Introducing my new and improved, beautiful to behold: Purple Shower Curtain!!

slob, humor, so gorgeous!! purple!!

Good eye!    Yup, I’m missing one ring.     I didn’t even notice, (even tho the bottom of the package was slit open, I thought maybe XH had opened it for me) until I hung them all up, and 1 was missing.  

slob, humor, waaaahhhh!(IF you’re wondering about the circles over the eyes, they are see thru holes. This was a mask.)

Ta da!

slob, humor, shower hook as jewelry    I will just focus on all the pretty purple, and fabulous fuschia, and ignore the 1 teeny, tiny flaw.

Now, I’ll probably start living in the shower, instead of on my computer!


Update:  The missing ring had fallen on the rug, that’s why I didn’t hear it!!    I didn’t see it either.     Later, XH saw it, and put it up for me as a surprise!!       Thank you XH!!        All is blissful, and beautiful!!

 

Seven Seconds Scullery

Are you scratching your head in perplexity??       Seven seconds scullery is about the kitchen!!        I learned that word as a teen, reading Gothic romances.      It’s a great word too!       It almost sounds like a curse word, if you inject enough venom, and disgust into your voice!

Yes, indeed, good old 7 hours to a  blah blah…..         Day 1- the scullery.             My nemesis.   Is it really the kitchen??        Or the dirty dishes IN the kitchen??       That YOU put there??               Hmmm, you might have a point there.

Time to tackle the titan.      I realize in Ashley’s list, kitchen came first.    But, since I’m a rebel, I did it second.       I think it’s okay, no penalties assessed.

This is the series so far.

Seven Seconds

I did the living room first.

Second Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds Sequel

Yes, it took me two posts, and 2 hours! to do the living room.      Moving on.

You might remember, I’ve purged the kitchen before- in this house! Not to mention the times I did it before that, in the apartment!

So here are the befores:

(Mine is the lovely 60’s shelf paper!      Hurray!      My eyes got to be burned the whole time!   I can still see that pattern on my retinas!

XH helped me.     (He really is so good to me!      Besides he’s here so much, helping with the girls, the messy cabinets were on his nerves!)

He did 2 cabinets to my 1!     But, I had a handicap!    I had to sit on this stool of PP’s, so I could reach the lower cabinet!

slob, humor, step stool

As you can imagine, it was not comfortable, to say the least!!       Our baselines, didn’t match measurements!

During:

slob, humor, middle of de-cluttering

The white canister bit the dust.     It took us the longest time to even figure out what it was!  Kool-aid.         Sorry, Sis!

We wiped out the shelves, and XH looked at all the expiration dates.      Every.single.one.   I don’t have the patience to do that!!

Funny thing is, this is what we garnered to donate.

slob, humor, donate    And we weren’t even to the utensil drawer yet!     (No, SF, I’m not donating your pink water bottle.  It will be returned home to you.)

(Queen Anne, do you see those purple things????      I might have had duplicates, so I was able to let them go.     Actually, I had 7 mugs, so…..)

And afters:

slob, humor, neat, and clean     Yeah, I know.     You can see that the boxes of popsicles are not neatly stacked.      Who’s got time for that??

Ah!     So much better!        So neat!          So organized!        We can see what we have!      (Best of all, I didn’t have to pay him, like I did Nicole!!)

And it was only 1 hour on the clock!       Of course, that was 2 man hours. (well, 1 man hour, and 1 woman hour, so do I count it as 2 hours??)  

But we only got 3 cabinets done in an hour, with both of us working.       😦       It’s gonna be a l-o-n-g   scullery series!!

 

Dear D.

 

Dear Cindy D:                                                                                      1/20/2017

I have a whole 3 day weekend off!      SIL took the girls to see his mamma.    Whew!!       I’m giddy with delight!!              Whatever will I do??!!

Slept late, yay!        Showered, yay again!        Went to free lunch to hear Michelle speak on Tamar.     (She acts out skits on women in the Bible.     Tamar’s story is found in Genesis 38, verses 6-30.)      She did an excellent job, as always!!        

slob, humor, Sis as Biblical Tamar

 

 

 

 

 

Went to Mama’s for a pork chop, (the free lunch was about worth what we paid today.   VERY skimpy!! ) and some blackberry cobbler. (and swiped the remainder of it!!     I didn’t want it to go to waste.     I was being considerate!)

Stopped by a realtors.   slob, humor, realtor         Talked about my pitiful situation.         I had already been in contact with a mortgage broker.         My credit is finally hi enough to qualify for a mortgage!!              My income qualifies me for $25,000!!       Hurray!  I can have my choice of imaginary, burned out, 1/1 houses on 5’x5′ lots!!            Woo hoo!              But only in black!      (Henry Ford reference.)

Oh, I forgot that I hadn’t even told you I wanted to move!         I know, I know!       I just moved a year ago!       (13 months to be exact.      There’s that pesky math again!)       I’m longing to be back home in Plant City again.        Being so close, and yet so far, for the last 3 years, I feel kinda like I’m in exile!

Got home at 4, and started the “C” word!            COOKING???           Yes, I said Cooking!              Pick yoreself up off the floor, woman!

slob, humor

Aunt “Nameless”  gave me a yummy recipe that only takes 3 hours on hi, in the crock pot. So, I’ll be noshing at midnight.       LOL             Uh, Melinda?                Yeah?            4 + 3= 7, not midnight!        It doesn’t??            (shakes head no)        Oh well, it took me 45 minutes to get the food INTO the pot!       So, I just kinda rounded up!

I do have to remember that math is not your forte!!

Exactly!

I’m also re-de-cluttering.  I’ve got to rid of so much stuff!!        Ok, well, time to quit yakking, and go work!

Aww, who am I kiddin??           I cooked!         And that’s all the work I’m gonna do today!

Blogging don’t count as work! I love it too much! Although, it totally IS work!

Love, Melinda

Christmas Crunched

(Written Jan. 6)

Finally Christmas arrived!!          Uh, Melinda??     I hate to tell you this, but Christmas has been come and gone for almost 2 weeks now!

Let me explain.

Our extended family always celebrates Christmas, on Christmas Eve.     But, this year due to so much sickness, we had to postpone till NYE.

Then, still too much sickness, so we had to postpone again!!       It was sad.      SAD, I tell you!!

slob, humor, sad

dreamstime.com

 

But, ever so hopeful, we have rescheduled for THIS Sat.!      And whoever is sick, has to just stay home, and the rest of us will carry on!!       I sure hope ALL can make it!!

Wed. I had to go to the bank, so I stopped by Mama’s.     She had grown weary of waiting, so she gave me all my gifts right then!!      I loved it!!       Thanks, Mommy!

(In case you’re wondering, that tiny dress is NOT for PPJr!      It’s for my bottle of dish soap! It’s not decent for it to be naked!     (Not to mention it’s blue, and is therefore hideous!)

                                                       There!!!    So much better!!

Oh no!    I just realized!     What am I gonna open Sat.?????           Well, I KNOW  Brother and Shirley have me a present!!      (She already told me what it is!)     And Sis already gave me hers, long ago.       (She’s almost as impatient as me!)

slob, humor, silver jewelry

Gorgeous!!

Thanks, Sis!!       So pretty!!

Well, guess I’ll just have to re-wrap some things for myself! lol

 

Nope!!   Sis had a bunch of little things for me!

And the wrapping paper was so gorgeous!      (no pix, of course….. sigh)      It was purple, (DUH!!)  with “Joy” written all over it!!

And this:

Is what Curtis, and Sis Shirley gave me!!!       I was blown away!!       So stunning!!        She is a professional artist!        I’m blessed to own an original Shirley Hawkins!!         Now, all I gotta do is get someone to put it up!!

(Oh Sweet Fr-iend!!     Oh, XH!!      Calling all my men!!)

Mothering Muwahahahas

Just like Mommy Muwahahahas, I think some of these are funny because they’re true!

slob, humor, mom meme

slob, humor, mom meme

 

slob, humor, mom meme

Oh yes!

slob, humor, mom meme

slob, humor, mom meme

slob, humor, mom memeslob, humor, mom meme

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

slob, humor, mom meme

slob, humor, mom meme

Works for me!

slob, humor, mom meme

Then I’m STILL a mom!!

 

Did you mop up your tears, of laughter, with your dirty shirt, Mom??          It’s ok!         We all understand!           At least you mopped!         Mark it off your to do list!           Now go take a nap!          You deserve it!

 

Second Seven Seconds Sequel

The series so far:

Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds

As you probably remember, I didn’t get finished with the living room in an hour.  Shocker.   Therefore, this sequel is needed.

The timer stands at 1 hour, 3 minutes.      And the tree is still up, and the recliner is still full of clothes.      sigh    

Yesterday, while the girls were here, I made sure I told PP that Christmas was over.     “Chwissmas obeh??”        Yes, Darling,  Christmas is over for now.        We will have Christmas again later, at the end of the year.           “Chwissmas obeh??”    she repeated, still in shock.       Yes, baby, it is.

So, I had her take the last 3 ornaments off the tree, and put them away in the tub.      I hoped that letting her do the final step, would help her transition from Christmas to “not Chwissmas.”

Time elapsed: 10 minutes.        She was a bit reluctant!

Then I had her help me recycle a stack of flattened boxes off the dining room table.     (Oops!       That’s not living room!        Well, it kinda is, so let it alone.)

Time elapsed: 30 minutes.        Why so long??        Well, we had to load the boxes into our arms.   7 minutes, because she wanted to hold ALL the boxes!    And she couldn’t, so after we she picked them up off the floor, we had to start over.      Then, I have to take the stairs slow, another 5 minutes.     Opening the recycling, and her putting the boxes in, 18 minutes.  Are you serious???         Yep!      She is very methodical about her work!      Each box had to go in separately.       Apparently they were singles, not mates.     (Box, not sox, Jen!)

Gwandma Wose came over to help me load the girls into Vanronica.      PP had to be sure and inform her that “Chwissmas  obeh, and Sanna gone.”

The timer is now up to 1 hour, 43 minutes.

And the call went out to my men.       I need help putting the tree away, guys!

Tonight, my trusty helper, SF answered the call!       He came, he conquered!        The Christmas tree is sadly packed away for another year.

slob, humor, no more tree

Another 15 minutes added on.      It would have been less, but he had to walk all the way across the WHOLE porch, into the workshop!       Poor guy!      His feet must have blisters on ’em now!

An hour, and 58.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot what Pop did!     He brought in the front door wreath, and entombed  buried  placed it in the storage tub.     1 1/2 mins.          I think we’ll just round up there!

 

Oh no!!!       We forgot to pack up the “angel” tree topper!!

slob, humor, "angel" tree topper       Please dear GOD let PP forget this by Dec!!!         Too bad, it’s trash now!!

Time: 2 hours on the dot!!      I knew it!      And we’re STILL not done!

Hopefully we will all survive the deprivation of Christmas, for the next 11 months!

The last tackle: the recliner full of clothes, or as I like to call it, “the clothes hamper in the living room.”       I want so bad! to just end the post now.      But, gotta get it dun dun.     (Anybody else hear Mama say “DO IT NOW!!”  ????)

slob, humor, clean laundry as decoration!

And, I hate ta tell ya this, but…          What?          You forgot something else.           What??           Look up.          slob, humor, "all the holidays" shelf

Oh, bother!   Well, that’s just gonna have to go with the dining room part!        Putting up the laundry is all I’m gonna be able to do this month  week   day  hour.

(Work, sweat, pant, huff, puff, stomp, hang, fold, put away…)

Only 11 minutes??     Are you kiddin me??         Wow, that’s amazing!         Just don’t let Shirley find out that you put the woven basket of hand-me-down clothes in the girls’ room to sort out later!              Shhhh!     Blabbermouth!

slob, humor, emptied!

There!!       Doesn’t that look so much better!        I culled out 3 items- 1 pr pants that were so tight, PP couldn’t even get her calves in- but they were 6x! Her size!       I know, I know!!   And a sweater that PPJr had to wear one day, as an emergency, but is too big!       And a 10-12 Christmas shirt.     They all went into the “Can these be worn later by a growing baby/girl?” part of my closet.

Final total for living room: 2 hours, 11 minutes.      (The clothes I stashed in their room will just have to go on their total!)

Time to reward myself!!       zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Cookie Chaos Calmed

The cookie chaos lasted WAY too long!!         WE (and by we I mean they!) made the cookies on Sat. Dec. 13th.

And the table was still a mess on Dec. 22,

img_20161222_094041

but I was supposed to have it cleaned up by Christmas, so I could have people over.    Sadly, I found out on Christmas Eve, that only DD2, the girls, and Pop Pop were coming, so I knew I had more time to get it clean!    (NO ONE should ever tell me that people are NOT coming!! It just leads to no good!!)

Wanna know when I FINALLY got it all cleaned up?      Fri. Jan. 6!     And then ONLY because we were FINALLY having our family Christmas at Mama’s!       (hangs head in shame)      I knew if I didn’t get Mama’s rolling pins, cookie sheets and cutters back to her, her head was probably gonna explode!

So, I washed all the cookie cutters.

And the rolling pins.    And the cookies sheets, and cooling racks.

slob, humor, clean cookie sheets

And the table.    

Ok, Pop Pop washed the table for me.    ANYWAYS, the table was washed.     Does it really MATTER who did it????

Yeah for a finally clean, and clear table!!slob, humor, cleared table

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I know the hearts, but they are glued on there, and I for one don’t have want to spend the time scraping them up!!

Bladder Blather

Coming to full consciousness, as I’m lying in bed, I think “Why am I awake now?       I don’t have to go potty.”         Suddenly my bladder speaks up.     “I’m the boss here, not you!     I say when you gotta potty, not you!      And as a matter of fact, you DO hafta go.     Right NOW!”       “You’re not the boss of me”, I retort.       “Oh yeah??      Take that!”          (immediate cramp)         Sir, yes sir!       (mutters under breath)       Bossy pants!     

slob, humor, bossy pants

This is the ONLY result I got for “bossy pants.” Can you believe that???

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I obediently jump creakingly get up and go, like an automaton.

For some reason, my bladder is a male.     ????      Don’t ask me!     I’m just reporting the facts!

slob, humor, Mr. Bladder

Mr. Bladder. He may be a male, but he’s still mine, so he HAS to be purple      (Oh wait, he’s not purple, just the pic.   Oh well, who has time for nit picky details like that??)  

slob, humor, body parts quiz

shutterstock.com

 

 

Am I the only one here whose body parts talk to them??

 

 

 

 

If I am, that’s not unusual.      I’m used to being a weirdo       sigh

When I get back, (Yes ma’am, I did flush, and wash.  I’m not THAT asleep!) I check the clock.      “Thank you, Mr. Bladder for letting me sleep a whole 3 hours this time!!”       I have to call him “Mr”, since he’s my boss!       No fraternizing!

I used to be woken up every hour, instead of 3, so I appreciate small favors!           Wait, 2 more hours of sleep at a time, isn’t a SMALL thing!       Ask any mommy!        My Dr. had to give me meds for that, to train Mr. Bladder to quit being so impatient!         HaHA!      Who was the boss then??!!

Enough bladder blather!         I’m sure you’re sick of this topic already!

 

slob, humor, Porky the Pig

blingee.com

 

Whew!     Thank heavens for small favors!