Second Seven Seconds

The second seven seconds is the family (living) room/dining room/entry.       Since my kitchen, living and dining rooms are all 1 big room, it might be hard to separate them properly like Ashley  Phipps does.     But, I’ll manage!   As long as I’m de-cluttering, and documenting it, I don’t think y’all are gonna quibble about which “room” I’m doing, right?? That’s what I thought.   Thank you!

 

So, I started in the living room on Jan. 11.      (I know I’m outta order, that’s just how I roll.) My Christmas tree still being up, helped me decide to start there.    

 

slob, humor, Chtristmas tree

Yeah, the tp in the foreground adds such a classy touch. XH brought in the storage tub, and I started emptying it out.       THEN, I even wiped it out!!Yoo hoo!!   There were all manner of empty boxes, and crumpled piles of tissue paper, some being actual tissues.      What??      I wasn’t about to run to the store for actual tissue paper, when I had tissues right there!      But maybe, just maybe, since I’m gonna have a neat, de-cluttered home now, I’ll do that from now on.          Not holding my breath.        That would probably be for the best.

I evaluated all the ornaments that I hadn’t used this year.     Most of them were glass, or ceramic.      Why didn’t I use them??     1 word-  1 toddler and 1 baby.     Okay, that was 5 words.      Whatever.

Anyway, I threw out all the scratched ones.     There went half!    

 I wrapped all the glass ones that weren’t sentimental, for donation.      Why??       Because PPJr is gonna turn into a toddler, and stay one for years!!

slob, humor, donation

The sentimental, glass and ceramic ones, like these that DD1 made as a child,

slob, humor, handmade ornaments

and this one that DD2 made,  

slob, humor, handmade ornaments

She made the present. I made the cross stitch 20 years ago with the others, but had finished this one!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wrapped up carefully and stored in the Tupperware box I already had for that purpose.

img_20170111_181745

Then I trashed the left over paper, recycled the boxes, and stripped the tree.     

slob, humor, ornaments(Oh, Tannenbaum, oh Tannenbaum, how evergreen thy branches.      Anybody else hear that music??)

All that hard work took me 30 minutes.     Making decisions is HARD!!

The actual tree was left standing for a helper to take down.    No, not PP, even tho I’m sure she’d manage to take it apart somehow , if I let her!    

Now, I only have 30 more minutes to de-clutter the rest of the living room.       We’ll see!

Oh, wait!    I almost forgot the 10 minutes I spent taking down the cards, and all PP’s decorations!        (And trashing them, much to my own satisfaction!       I was very proud of myself for not keeping them!        I did mark down who the cards were from, first.         Yikes! I only have 20 minutes left now!

See??      I knew it would take me more than an hour!!

Another 15 minutes on the clock, to deal with all this mess.

It only took me that long to deal with it, AND sweep!! Woo hoo!         Boy, am I getting good at this, or what?!

Hey, before you break your arm patting yourself on the back, you seem to be forgetting something.  What??       Oh yeah, I still have this left to deal with.                 And this:

slob, humor, pile o' clothes                                             slob, humor, clutter

Well, we’re already 55 minutes in.        But, okay, okay, more time on the clock.

But I don’t feel like doing those right now.      (Looks around to spy something else.     Anything else!)       Aha!     The china cabinet!

slob, humor, all clean    Nope!   Nothing there!     (I looked!)    YAY!!

Hmmmmthe chest of drawers, even tho I know there’s nothing in there I can get rid of.     But as Dana always says, Don’t assume!       Look anyway!       So I did.       Lo and behold!       All this can go!!

slob, humor, donation stuff                       slob, humor, why????

For pity’s sake!!      Why did I have a bloody candle????         I think you were gonna paint it purple?     And you only paid 5 cents on clearance.        Yeah, that would explain it, but obviously that ain’t happening!

Clearly I had NO idea what-n-all was in there!      WE have eleventy hundred videos, so I’m quite sure PP will never even notice the lack of these.     And I have no candle holders for the tapers, so……

Now I have a nice, fat bag to donate.     And that was only 8 minutes.      The total is up to 1 hour, and 3 minutes.     And I still have those 2 piles to go.     sigh    Another day.      I already did my few dishes this morning, now it’s nap time!!

Several more seven seconds to come!

Girlfriend Giggles

Why do I think this crazy girlfriend is funny??       Well, she makes me giggle!        Maybe because I used to be her??      Nah, that can’t be it!

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend  slob, humor, crazy girlfriend  Needy much???

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend                                    slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

  EEK!

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

  Bwahahahaha!

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

 

 

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend                                                      slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

She had prayed for a sign. (I may or may not have resembled this remark, in my younger days.)

There’s your dose of funny crazy fun for the day!!     Always helps to start off the day laughing!      Now you don’t need to work out, since all your muscles just did!

 

Katie’s Kindness

Kind Aunt Katie’s one of my favorite aunts!!       Only one of, tho, since I have several, on that side of the family.    ( Not naming the other side today, we ain’t got time for that!!)     Aunt Sherry, of the porch, Aunt Cathy,( Katie’s twin), Aunt Minnie, Aunt Diane, and Aunt “The One Who Shall Remain Nameless” that shaved my head, when I messed it up the last time.

Katie’s kindness, and sweetness, are trademarks of hers!

I always buy her a Christmas present, of some sort.      For a few years, it was a $10 Walmart card.       On the lean years, it was only a tube of Cherry Chap Stick.      

slob, humor, cheap gift

But it was the thought that counted, she always insisted!

This year she surprised me with a $25 Outback card!!!    Wow! Blew me away!   I love that woman!!

slob, humor,                             slob, humor, surprise!

I was so surprised, I was speechless!      (How often does THAT happen?????)

Now, I have to carefully plan my menu…

A GF Chocolate Thunder from Down Under for sure!!!

slob,humor, GF dessert

2 spoons?? I don’t think so!!!

 

And an $11 steak special!!            The big question,  “Will I have enough left over for a cherry Sprite???”

slob, humor, steak special      slob, humor, drink

                           Oh brother, there I go slobbering on the keyboard again!

 

Oatmeal Ohs

How to make oatmeal in 33 easy minutely detailed steps.

  • Decide you want to eat oatmeal.
  • Get out supplies.    
  • Oatmeal.     slob, humor, breakfast
  • Salt.
  • Bowl.  slob, humor, bowl    (Yours is not required to be purple.    But it is recommended.)
  • Spoon.    
  • Measuring cups.     slob, humor, measuring devices      (Purple crocs not necessary.)
  • Brown sugar.

slob, humor, brown sugar

  • Open oatmeal canister.
  • Measure out oatmeal.

slob, humor, scooping oats

  • Pour oatmeal into bowl.
  • Shut oatmeal canister.
  • Turn on water faucet.          

 slob, humor, water running

  • Measure water.
  • Turn off faucet.
  • Pour water into bowl.
  • Sprinkle in some salt.     (Important!    Sprinkle- not pour!!)                                                                                                                                                                  slob, humor, salting the oats
  • Stir.
  • Pick up bowl.
  • Walk over to microwave.
  • Open microwave.
  • Put bowl in microwave.
  • Set timer.        slob, humor, setting timer
  • Very important!!   Do not forget!!     Hit “start”.
  • Wait for timer to go off.
  • Open microwave door.
  • Get out bowl of oatmeal.                       slob, humor, remove bowl                             
  • Walk to table.     (Couldn’t document this step.    I can’t walk, and talk even!     Never mind trying to take a pic!)
  • Sit down.
  • Go back and get forgotten spoon.
  • Eat!
  • Enjoy!      slob, humor, feeding self     Yummy!
  • Write post.

That was so excruciatingly torturous, my eyes are starting to bleed!!!          

Well, you wanted me to get off Christmas!!

ARGH!!!!

 

Jenerous Jeanette

My neighbor, Jeanette, gave me this jorgeous (hard “J” lol)  lighthouse for Christmas.    (I know, I know, here it is way into 2017, I’m still bragging yakking about last Christmas!       Well, I’m not done with the topic yet!    Sorry, not sorry!)

slob, humor, lighthouse

As you can see, I’m proudly displaying it outside.     It’s light is solar, so it lights up at night!     So very neat!    slob, humor, solar light

She is so jenerous!     Last year she gave me these gorgeous pictures, that she colored.     She also painted the frames purple.     She’s a great friend!

slob, humor, friend painted      slob, humor, friend painted

What did I give her?     You may ask.      Last year, I gave her an ornament that said something about being a good neighbor.     (Sorry, I didn’t memorize it!)        When I went to visit, the other day, she had it prominently displayed on her tree.      

This year I’m planning to give her one of the cross stitch ornaments I made.

slob, humor, cross stitch ornament

As soon as I find it again!       When I finished it, I put it in the living room, to wrap.       Then PP came over, and poof!       It’s gone!

So, the treasure hunt begins!!      I sure hope it doesn’t take me as long to find it, as it did to finish making it!

Well, never did find it.  

(Update:  this post was written Dec. 7.    I found the ornament on the very bottom of the tree, in the back, next to the wall, where I couldn’t see it, when I was stripping the tree!  On Dec.11, the very night this was published.    That scamp, PP!!    She knew I’d never look back there!)

 So, since I knew where this one was, this is what she got!       She liked it, cuz her tree is predominantly red decorations.       Good job, Melinda!!         Thanks!

slob, humor, finished!

Now, my joy is all gone….

Just kiddin!!      I still have Jesus!!

 

Play-Doh Plague

Well, the worst has officially happened.      The Play-Doh plague has invaded my house.  

slob, humor, plague          And I know who the carrier was!!     “Gwandma Wose”!      How could you betray me so badly, my own (ex)stepmother???    

I thought you loved me!      Apparently you love PP more.

I had no idea PP and you were plotting behind my back.      Watching all those commercials, making notes of which things she liked best.

slob, humor, plague Drat you, Nick Jr!!!

Most of you won’t remember the “Green Goo, because it was 2 1/2 years ago.     (Except Stella, who commented on it a year later, Queen Anne, and Susie, who both liked it.   Thanks ladies!!)       I had a terrifying preview of what a plague Play-doh would truly be.

And it’s every bit as bad as I imagined it’d be.

 

Clumps of sticky Play-Doh on the floor.     Lumps of it stuck to the backside of PP’s pants.

(No visual there, I was too busy trying to get if off before she ground it in, and it melded with the material.     Too late…..)

Bumps of it all over the table….

slob, humor, Play-Doh plague

And exactly who’s gonna clean it all up??????

I’m not bending over this time!!    

 

PP did pick up the clumps off the floor.    Thank you Precious!

And I scraped as much of the lumps off her pants, as humanly possible.      But those pants will never be the same.    Good thing they were her designated play pants already!

The bumps on the table???      As you may have already guessed, they’re still there…..

Baby Bwahahahas

Can you guess the meme theme today??

slob, humor, baby                                      slob, humor, baby meme slob, humor, toddler meme  slob, humor, baby meme

slob, humor, baby memeslob, humor, baby meme  slob, humor, baby meme  Right????

slob, humor, baby meme

GIFSec.com

 

slob, humor, baby memes

                                                                   Yeah!  Like me!!

slob, humor, baby memes

                                                                 Uh oh!!!!!

Ba-by, those were funny!

Seven Seconds

From my BBFFJs linky party:  Inspire Me Monday. on Jan.2.

I saw this pic, from Ashley Phipps,

and it intrigued me.

http://simplydesigning.porch.com/7-hours-to-a-decluttered-home.      After I read it, I commented that I knew for sure it would take me more than 7 hours, because I’ve already spent 2 1/2 years de-cluttering, and now I have a house, screened porch, shed and workshop full STILL!!

But, I’m thinking I will print out her printable, follow it, and keep track of my time.  Then when I finish the 7 hours, let her know how far I got.      I could even make it my own 7 hour de-cluttering challenge!!       Of course, I’d link back to her, since it’s all her idea, and printable!

So, not sure which route I’ll go yet.   But definitely will do at least the 7 hours!!     But I better hurry!        Soon Queen Anne will be back at the Paper Purgathon again!  

slob, humor, challenge

And I better be prepared to dive in with her!!       I promised!

So, the “seven” in the title is for 7 hours/7 days.   The “seconds”  is for the more than once, that I’ve de-cluttered!

Quazy Quilt Queue

Here it is the end of July, and still haven’t finished Kim’s Kwilt.   (When I first started this post.)            And the final deadline was May 20!        Majorly disappointed with myself.      But, I’ve been so busy with the girls, nannying, and full time taxi-ing for DD1, that I have felt like a chicken with its head cut off. Sorry Carmen!

Now she has a car again, {DD1, not Carmen!} and steady day care, so maybe I can git ‘er done before Winter!

Update:   I finished the infamous kwilt, on Saturday, Oct 22, 2016!!

slob, humor, back of quilt

I’m almost having a headache from that lattice pattern spinning!

The back, above.                                                                                     The front, below.

slob, humor, quilt finished!

It was already folded in half, cuz I wanted ya to see my face!

And all the angels sang: “Hallelujah!!”

And all the readers screamed “YES!  Finally we can quit hearing her whine about that pesky kwilt!!”

And SF mailed it that next Monday.

And she (DD2) liked it!  She really liked it!     She said, and I quote,      “Thanks, it’s awesome.”

Okay, now that is off my mind!!      I can go on to the rest of my quazy quilt queue.      And it’s a long one!!

  • Shirley’s.    My brother commissioned this one when they were dating.     Their first anniversary was back in August.     This is my progress so far.  

slob, humor, Shirley's quilt

  Getting there!!     So close!!

                                                                                 

  • PP’s Panda quilt.     DD1 commissioned this one in 2014.      Ahem   (Can’t find the pieces.     EEK!!)
  • The Campbell twins.      They’re only 5 months old, and I have all the squares cut out already, so hey, doing really well on this one!  

slob, humor, quilt squares

Oops!  No I don’t have all the squares cut out.  I have 3/4ths of the squares cut out!  

slob, humor, quilt fabric

This fabric has me flummoxed!!      I want each square to be 1 flower, (or “buttehfy”, as PP called them), but how do I do that without the squares going wonky??      I surely AM NOT gonna cut each one individually by hand!

So, I’ll just be as careful as I can…….

  • A bigger quilt for PPJr.      Her wonky quilt is WAY too little for her already, and she’s only 8 1/2 months old!!     (Haven’t even decided on the fabrics yet.    Yeah.)
  • Aulani’s.       She was born about 12 weeks ago, and I’ve already done this much.    

slob, humor, baby quilt

  Woo hoo!        On a roll here!           

 

Then, I wanna do one for ..      STOP!!          What?   Why??         Until you get all those done, I’m officially declaring a moratorium on saying you’ll make more!            You can’t do that!        I think I can, cuz I just did!

NO MORE QUILTS

Well then, yes ma’am!        I’ll get back with ya on my next recipients, soon as I’m done with these.         So, mid 2027, would you say??          That’s kinda mean.         Is it mean if it’s true??      Well, it has been true so far…..

 

slob, humor, linky

devastateboredom.com

Probably Pro Procrastinator

Here it is Dec.29, and I haven’t even finished making all my Christmas gifts yet.  <groan >    WHAT??   Melinda!!   I can’t believe you!      

Well, you KNOW I’m one terrific procrastinator!      As a matter of fact, probably I’m a pro!   Pro Procrastinator, that is!       That’s fun to say!!      Try to say it 10 times really fast!       (I couldn’t!)

Since our family Christmas Eve got postponed, that gave me a good excuse to just drop what I was doing, and do something else.    After all, I had another week to finish!       Now it’s Thursday, and I have to be done by Sat.      Will I make THIS deadline???        Well, unlike Kim’s Kwilt debacle, there is hope!!

This is the raw state of the cross stitches.    It only took me 20 or so years before  I found them again!          How can that be??           Hellooooo-  ever heard of Hoarders???          And see my name???       The SLOB part???

And here’s how I left them last week:

Sadly, the one on the right is a boo boo.    Instead of sewing right sides together, I did right to wrong.    😦        That’s when I knew it was time to quit sewing that night!!        Tired sewer makes lots of mistakes!!      

Oh wait!  I’m mistaken!     It’s not done wrong!       After looking at it when my eyes aren’t crossed from tired, it’s right!      Whew!       Then I realized, I forgot the hanger!        {shrug}   Oh well, what ya gonna do???        Umm, rip out the stitches, and do it right??         Seriously?    Do you even KNOW me???       Nope, just add it onto the back.!       Like it or lump it!

Then I needed stuffing, but didn’t have any.      Hmmm, was I gonna have to use cut up rags??       Cuz I will!       But, then my eyes landed on this:

slob, humor, stuffing      Perfect!       And so it was!

Now, get off the computer, get over there in your sewing room, and finish them!!         I mean it young lady!!      Or no lunch for you!        WAAAAHHHHH!

slob, humor, crying girl

Fine, but I’m gonna mutter grouchy things about you under my breath.        You don’t scare me!

Stuffed, and waiting for the final stitch in time.       (Shouldn’t have eaten so much!)

There!        Done!!     And it only took 20 years!      Woot!!     I beat my own 9 year record!         (Kim’s Kwilt)

                           One for you, one for me!                 Guess who these 2 are for????

Since my middle name is Joy, I’m keeping that one!     I deserve some reward for all this work!!       And sis collects Nativities, but has run outta shelf space, so two for her!

Now I have Michelle’s present, and neighbor Jeanette’s.      (More about her later.)     Now to go finish the wrapping…..

Finally Christmas is done, done!        For this year…..    mwuahahahaha        You know, it’s already less than 360 days till next Christmas!