Dad Duty

Yep, it’s the Dad’s turn to make us laugh!      It’s your duty- Dad!

slob, humor, Asian dad meme

                                                        Wow!  This dad is rough!!

slob, humor, Asian dad memeslob, humor, Asian dad memeslob, humor, Asian dad meme

slob, humor, Asian dad meme    Finally!    An explanation  for their excellent grades!

slob, humor, Asian dad meme

slob, humor, Asian dad memeslob, humor, Asian dad meme

slob, humor, Asian dad meme

slob, humor, Asian dad memeslob, humor, Asian dad meme

And I thought MY dad was tough for demanding a BA!!

Did ya laugh??     I did!     I felt it was my duty!

Blessed Blogger

Another Blogger Recognition Award!         I’m so blessed to have so many friends here in the blogosphere!               Thank you, Kuddos and Kiddos!!

slob, humor, award

(My first one was from Pearly, who has sadly stopped blogging.     😦        And my second one was from Brenda at Camellia’s Cottage.)

 

Here are the rules:

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.  

  • check  (How do I make a check mark??)
  • Write a post to show your award.

  • in progress

(Here is the pic again, just in case you forgot what it looked like, it’s been so long a whole paragraph ago.)

slob, humor, award

  • Give a brief story of how your blog started.

  • YAY!!      Y’all know how much I LOVE to blab about myself!!

slob, humor, happy!                Me, me, me , meeeee!!!!

  • Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.

  • YAY!!       Y’all know how much I LOVE to tell people what to do!     (Others, of course!  Not myself!)
  • Select 15 other bloggers you want to give this award to.

Wail!!      

slob, humor, waaaahhhh!

  • This is always the hardest part, feeling like I’m leaving people out, cuz I can only pick 15!!
  • Comment on each blog and let them know you have nominated them and provide the link to the post you created.

  • YAY!       I love yakking to others, and telling good news!

Ok, brief story of blog beginning.     Ay yi yi!     Brief is soooo hard for me!     (Oops!  There I’ve already wasted 7 words, nope, 15…nope….   Just stop counting already and move on!!)

I am was a life long slob.      I decided in 2014 to clean up my act.      I gathered inspiration from Dana @ A Slob Comes Clean,   slob, humor, Nony     and others, and started out.      SLOWLY, very slowly.     My First Day was just sweeping, and mopping the living room, and it left me out of breath, and sweating.

I gathered momentum as I went along, and here I am 2 and 1/2 years later, all clean!      (And if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell ya!)        I’ll undoubtedly be blogging about this subject till I’m old, and gray.      You’re already old, and gray!      Does that mean you’re done now??          Uh, nope, I’ll be blogging about this until I forget how to type!

Advice: Hmmmmm…

#1. Have fun!

#2. Proofread each article at LEAST 3 times!!

slob, humor, purple paper

Well, I guess not tooo hard…

15 Bloggers:

  1. Susie
  2. ABR
  3. Cluster of Stars
  4. Claremary
  5. Teri
  6. David
  7. Jen
  8. Jena
  9. Grace
  10. Katie
  11. Robyn
  12. Gilly
  13. Linda
  14. Barb
  15. Anne

 

Can’t wait to read what y’all write!

Romantic Roach Resort

{This is sort of a sequel to Roach Resort.      (But not really.)     A related post??}

Floyd Roach invited his wife Flora to a romantic resort getaway.    They were both worn to a frazzle, parenting their herd of 20 kids.        After securing a sitter, they took off, foot loose, and fancy free.

After driving a while, Flora exclaimed, “Oh look, Floyd!  Isn’t that a new hotel?  I don’t remember seeing that one before.”

slob, humor, new motel

Glancing over quickly, Floyd agreed that yes, indeed, that one was new.

“Let’s stop, honey!  We’re never spontaneous anymore!” Flora complained.

“Ok”, Floyd grumbled.  “But it will mess up all my carefully made plans.   But, if it will make you happy, then fine.”

“How romantic!”  Flora gushed.   “I just love it when you’re flexible honey!”


After checking in, and asking for the bridal suite,

slob, humor, concierge

with more “romantic” gushing from Flora, they made it to their room.    She stopped dead still in the doorway, causing Floyd to bump into her back legs, with the suitcases.

“What’s the matter with you?” Floyd groused.

“OH, FLOYD!”  Flora {you guessed it} gushed again.  “Look how spacious this room is!   How bright, and filled with light!”  

“Yeah, yeah,” Floyd mumbled.    Peeking around her shoulder, he gushed {would you have thought he’d gush??}, “FLORA!    Would you just lookit the size of that TV??    It’s gotta be at least 100 cm, if it’s a cm!    The game is gonna look great!”   He threw this over his shoulder, as he took a flying leap into the middle of the couch.     Landing with a plop, he somehow had the remote already in hand.

slob, humor, roach couch, TV

Flora was astonished to see such a feat of athleticism from her normally un-athletic husband.

“Floyd?”  Flora questioned.       “Hmmmm?”  was Floyd’s only answer, as he was already absorbed in a show.

“FLOYD!!” Flora yelled.     “WHAT??”  Floyd yelled back, without even turning his head.         

“This is supposed to be a romantic get away, not a telethon!” Flora complained.

Fuming, Floyd stood up, and took one step.      His feet stuck to the floor.      What’s this? he thought.      “Flora!      Come here and help me!     I’m stuck to the floor!”  Floyd commanded.

Sighing heavily, Flora took 2 steps inside the doorway, and her feet stuck to the floor!

“Now lookit the fine mess you’ve gotten us into Floyd Roach!” Flora fussed.          “ME??     You were the one who just HAD to stop and try this new motel.     Only now we find out it’s a tourist trap!” Floyd fumed.slob, humor, glue trap

“Well, now what are we gonna do??” Flora replied.       “Un-stick our feet, lay down and go to sleep, and forget this whole thing,” Floyd decided.

Alas, that was not to be.       Floyd and Flora were both caught in a trap, far stronger than their will, or ability to escape.      They were frozen in their polar positions, unyielding till the end.

The slow painful end.     Dying of starvation, they nevertheless continued to fight, until their last breath.

 

 

Farewell, Floyd and Flora.      You’ll be missed.  

(By your herd of kids, and the babysitter, if no one else.)

slob, humor, roach coffin  slob, humor, roach coffin

 

Love Letter

Love Letter to my new  Purple Shower Curtain.

slob, humor, new shower curtain

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

#1 I love you to the depth and breadth and height that the bathroom can reach.

#2 Thy long lovely lavender locks flowing from the ceiling to (almost) the floor delight mine eyes.

#3 They shade me from the harsh light, bathing me in soft wondrous lavender hues, delighting my soul.

slob, humor, soft lavender light

#4 Thy great beaded rings gliding along the bar like graceful beaked swans gliding along the pond, maketh mine ears to rejoice in the sound.

slob, humor, shower rings

#5 Thy plastic shields my floor from being flooded, and keepeth my feet dry.

slob, humor, curtain and rug

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#6 The sheer sight of you fills my heart with pure joy.

#7 I love you with the smiles, and tears of my whole life.

slob, humor, kisses

Oh how I love thee!!

#8 And if God choose, I shall but love thee better after your death.

 


Inspiration, and partial author’s credit to 

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 18061861

 

Vital Valentine

slob, humor, happy Valentine's day           slob, humor, happy Valentine's day

I’ve already written about my Valuable Valentine, DD1!

(Yes, I’m gonna write in purple, red and pink today.    Please bear with me.  The pink are the links.)

Today, I’m talking about my Vital Valentine, Jesus!  slob, humor, heart

Most everyone is familiar with the verse, John 3:16.       (Even if you didn’t before, you probably recognize it now from Tim Tebow. )   

   slob, humor, Valentine                                                                           John 3:16.

Jesus is our vital Valentine.     He loves us so much, He died on the cross for our sin.

If you believe you are a sinner, repent, and ask Jesus to forgive you, you are now a child of God!

You will never be lonely again, because God the Father promises to never leave us or forsake us.      Hebrews 13:5

So, even if you have no human significant other, you will always be loved!!

slob, humor, double heartsslob, humor, double hearts

“The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.”              Jeremiah 31:3

slob, humor, heart

If you prayed this prayer, please email me and tell me!!     I will be so happy to hear that!!     And, the angels in heaven will be having a party, to rejoice too!!

Luke 15:10 [Full Chapter]

“Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.”
If you have any questions about the Bible, email me those too!!       I love to hear from y’all, and would love to help you in anyway I can!
purpleslobinrecovery@gmail.com
slob, humor, Valentine's

Paper Purgathon Paperbacks

Paper Purgathon Paperbacks isn’t exactly about paperbacks, it’s about hard back books, and magazines, and paperbacks.      Okay, so it IS about paper backs, then, right??          Yes, it is.  Then why did you say it wasn’t??         Um, I meant to say it isn’t JUST about paperbacks!   Well, in the future, please say what you mean, and mean what you say.        Snarky- party of 1! Can I please just get on with the post now???            (mutters under breath)         Fine, go ahead. Besides, the hard back books DID have paper backs too, technically.       What??          The hard backs had paper jackets, so they are paper backs too.           When did you become a lawyer??

slob, humor, challenge

Paper Purgathon

Paper Purgathon- Pact

Paper Purgathon- Palisade

Paper Purgathon- Pal

Paper Purgathon- Pile

Paper Purgathon- Perch

Paper Purgathon Paused

Paper Purgathon Presumed

So, since Presumed wasn’t about any actual de-cluttering either, we are now officially on Day 6, of 21 days.     So, that means there’s __ days left.      Again with the math!!        Can we just please skip the torture, this time, of watching you slowly, and painfully counting on your fingers??        And toes!    

slob, humor, bare feet

These little piggies...

Don’t forget the toes!!        Who can forget the toes??        But it wasn’t just the toes, it was the peas -n- toes that still haunts me….

For those who are new, and don’t know what we’re talking about.

You’re welcome.       Now your eyes have been initiated too!         Now that it’s too late, to “un-see that”, don’t you wish you had run away??        Well, now’s the time to run away screaming, before you’re forced to view the next hideous thing!!       You’re still here??         Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

For peas’ sake, can we peas get back to paperbacks????

Okay, so I hafta do 15 minutes of paper de-cluttering today.      So, I looked around, in my usual “What can I blog about today??” way, and my eyes landed on a book, by my bed.      And of course, being the brilliant blogopher that I am, I forgot to photograph it.         (So, if you’ll just excuse me a moment,  I’ll just quietly fake the shot now.)

slob, humor, bedside book

Just a bedside book, nothing to see here. Move along.

And a thought balloon appeared over my head!

Books start with P!                  No they don’t.               Oh yeah, they don’t.          

 (furrows brow, squinches mouth, thinks intently)

slob, humor, thinking really hard!

Think! Think!

Aha!       Paperback starts with P!!                Can’t argue with that!

So, I wandered around the house, looking for books I’d finished reading, that needed to be returned to the library.        Uh, oh!        How much is this gonna cost??

No, no, no!!      Not the Public one!       The one here in the Park!!       I think I’ve finally learned my lesson there!

Here’s my bounty.

slob, humor, reading stuff to return

3 real, genuine paper backs

2 fake paper backs, AKA   hard backs covered with paper jackets

2 paper magazines

That’s a tidy little stack of papers to purge!!          Why, thanks!        I’m rather proud of this 15 minutes of purging!          Really??     It took you 15 minutes to gather those up??          Well, no, but…       But what?       Then I still hadda go out to Vanronica, start ‘er up, drive to the clubhouse, and go inside!      Whoop de doo!       You had to drive a whole 5 blocks.      Waaaaah, waaaah!           I’ll have you know it was a tenth of a mile!       AND, I hadda drive back!         So, yes! it was 15 minutes!

Folks, I’m just done now, as I’m sure you are too.

Pass on by, pass on by.