Quilting Quagmire

I had to have a serious talk with Melinda this morning.         “Listen here, Melinda, this is beyond ridiculous!!      Curtis has been waiting more than 2 years now for Shirley’s quilt!   (Since June 2015, to be exact.)       You are grounded until future notice.      Get over there and sew!”

She wasn’t happy with me, but she knew I was right.    So, in a little bit, she texted me these.      

                                                                       Ya happy now?

No, as a matter of fact, I’m not.     I won’t be happy till you have it done, and in Curt’s hot little hands!        So, get off the phone, and chain yourself to that machine woman!!


So, she did.      We’ll see how long it takes her to finish.      It’s already 3/4th done, for Pete’s sake!     And she doesn’t even have to quilt it!      All she has to do is piece the top!       (Curtis wisely confiscated the batting, and backing, long ago, figuring it would take her the rest of the decade to do it ALL.   Good move, Bubba.     You know your procrastinating sister too well.


I try to relax, and read, as the seconds, minutes, and slow, slow hours tick by.

Suddenly…

“YAY!” Melinda shouted, startling me.

“Are you done?? ”  I asked, ever hopeful.

“Yes!”       “Really? ”  I queried suspiciously.

“Well, I’m done with the width….”        Back to the machine for you!!  

“But I’m hungry!   And I need to go potty!”  Melinda whined.

“Fine, take a break, but make it snappy!” I growled.


(More hours, and then days go by…..)


“I’m duh-hunnnnn!” Melinda singsonged.

Oh my goodness!       Can it be true??        I think I better sit down before I faint!!

“Here it is!” Melinda proudly exclaims.

I pore over every square, and every seam.          Well, that didn’t work out very well, did it?

slob, humor, quilt mistake

Oopsie!       Nobody’s gonna notice 1 teensy mistake, right??

“Yeah, about that…..  mistakes happen, when you’re tied to the machine.     Makes it hard to maneuver.”  Melinda tried to justify.       “The important thing is , it’s DUN DUN!!”


All of this was optimistically written last February, before I started de-cluttering so hard.

And today is Tuesday, July 31, 2017.

So, yeah, Melinda if you would just seriously GET IT DONE!!       That would be great!

I tried!!       Really I did!

Tasty Tuna Two  explains what happened…..

.


And here we are on Monday, 8/21.      Thankfully, still 2017!

And it really is done!!

Seriously??          YES!!          See??

slob, humor, Shirley's quilt top

Ain’t it so purdy??

Oh, you mean the top is pieced.         Well, yeah, I said it’s done!          The whole quilt isn’t done until you have all 3 layers, and they are quilted together.

Oh, well then.        The top is done!!         I will show off the results to Sis Shirley on Friday, and regain possession of the missing 2 layers.       That is if Curtis trusts me enough to return them!!        He might decide to keep the top, and teach himself to quilt!        

It would probably get done in the same amount of time!

Facebook Fail??

Last Sat., I attempted something brand new!        A FB Live!!      (Yes, yes, I attempted to post a video last year, but FB Live is a whole ‘nother animal!!)

Oh my goodness!!       It worked to post here!!       I can’t believe this!!        So excited!    😀            And I did it all by myself!!          See, an old, gray mare can be what she used to be!         {I didn’t want to say an old dog can learn new tricks, cuz I ain’t no dog!!}

{I wonder why I can’t hear it??      Any way, I hope you were stocked up on dramamine!}

Since this was a brave new world for me, as you might expect, I learned a L.O.T. of lessons!

  1. If the girls are not picked up on time- Abort the mission!!       I repeat- Abort the mission!!          As Sweet sis-in-love put it so gently, “It was a little hard to hear over the baby’s noise.”      Yes, poor PPJr was singing the song of her people, loudly!!        My party goers will appreciate, and understand, if I need to re-schedule.       Trust!    {It came out in many different snippets, instead of 1 long video.}
  2. I am a lousy cameraman.woman!!       In my defense, it’s extremely difficult to juggle a camera, and a whining toddler, who is clinging to me for dear life!!     And that’s not even mentioning the pre-schooler who wants to help.with.every.single.thing.        Whether she is actually capable or not.        With the restrictions of not filming their faces, yeah, a good time was had by all…..  ahem
  3. Make sure all products, and demos are set up, ahead of time!!        No one wants to get sea sick from the wildly swinging camera views, as I go look for stuff!!     See #2 above.
  4. Try to not roll my eyes every 2 seconds.      I hated seeing it myself!!       I can only imagine how irritated it made my attendees!      On a good note, I think I was giving lots of good eye contact, in between rolls!
  5. An hour would have been long enough!!     I scheduled 2, but there was just no way!!
  6. Make sure there is proper lighting.       Watching a blank screen, while I try to figure out how to end the blackout, was probably not in their top 3 fave moments of the day.
  7. Learn how to actually do a FB Live, sooner than 24 hours before the scheduled event.        Maybe even practice once or twice beforehand.
  8. Do not nap until 1 minute after the start time!       Very important key step!!
  9. Hire a speech coach next time.
  10. Write a script, instead of trying to wing it, on products you only learned about 3 weeks ago.
  11. Actually remember to purchase the raffle tickets, when you promised to give away prizes, and give a certain number of tickets for different things.       Hand writing the names, then cutting them up, was rather tedious.
  12. Have a bowl handy to put the tickets in!      Using a box with open bottom, was not the best choice.     (It was flapped shut, just not taped.    So some of the slips periodically escaped.       Everyone patiently waited while I retrieved them, thankfully.         Why wouldn’t they??        They wanted to know if they won something free!!

A Norwex post.          (This is my business link.        I make a commission on any sales.)

slob, humor, Norwex

Norwex is the best!

#1      #2     #3

Tasty Tuna Two

Got up at seven.      Got DD1, and babies out the door, for work, and day care, at 7:30.     No, I didn’t pack their lunches, or make waffles for breakfast!!       The girls get breakfast, and lunch, and DD is on her own!

Read my Bible.      At 7:30, approximately, I ate my breakfast of a granola bar, and peach cola, at my desk.    

Then chores.       After laundry, and dishes, I sat down to sew.         Why yes, I was beginning to feel like Cinderella!          Why do you ask??

slob, humor, sewing station

My sewing station, all set up in my room!!

Yes! I was finally gonna finish Shirley’s quilt!!      (Don’t faint!)

But alas!       What did I find??

slob, humor, missing foot

A very important part is missing!

Or NOT find would be a better description!!          Any seamstress, like Stella, would quickly spy the problem!


I know, I know!       What does all this have to do with tasty tuna??       Well, I’m getting to it!  

After a quick search of the logical places the foot could be, I was discouraged.          So, I sat to grouse to myself.        And that reminded me I was hungry!

Now we’re getting to the tasty tuna two part!

I wanted to make my tasty tuna “salad”. 

Sadly, no blueberries on the grounds.        😦

But!!        Aha!        We do have frozen blackberries!            Those’ll work!!

slob, humor, frozen blackberries

Blackberries are purple!

Easy peasy, 3 ingredient tasty tuna “salad”.       Can’t get much easier than that!!

slob, humor, purple tuna salad

Purple tuna, in a purple bowl. What could be any better??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nuttin’, honey!  

slob, humor, salad all gone

All gone, gone!

Then, to finish it off, some yummy crunch.  

  Yessss!!       Home grown goodness!

I looked at my phone, it was only 10:45 am.         So what??          I had been working hard for 3 1/2 hours already!!

Now, to go look some more for that invisible foot…..

 

Maturity Memes

Let’s get this maturity memes Monday started!

Today we’re talking about maturity, or the lack thereof!

slob, humor, youth group meme

Lol!

slob, humor, youth group memes

Ummm, maybe a lesson on stealing, next Sunday?? Outside the box thinking, though!

slob, humor, youth group meme

Yessss!!

slob, humor, Maxine meme

Bwahahahaha! Leave it to Maxine!!

slob, humor, younger meme

Made me laugh!!

slob, humor, old meme

Tee hee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

slob, humor, wisdom meme

Exactly!!

slob, humor, wise meme

Uh, whoa!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

slob, humor, wisdom meme

Oh yes!!     Discretion is the better part of valor here!

slob, humor, try reading meme

This TV is very wise!

I hope you are wiser, and have more maturity, now that you’ve chuckled over these memes!

 

Rolls’ Roles

I mean teepee rolls, of course!       And the many roles they can play in our lives.

Pig pen:

slob, humor, pig pen

Unhappily, the rest of the pig didn’t survive the raid of the 2 little Indian girls.

Now I can de-clutter the poor little pig’s head.   OR- I can make hog’s head cheese!    Anybody up for that one??        Of course, it might taste a little rubbery…..

Giraffe hobble:

slob, humor, giraffe hobbled
Now he ain’t going nowhere any time soon!! I’ve got him hobbled good!!

(At least we will pretend so!)

Animal Corral:  

Boy, Goggling "animal corral made from tp roll" sure saved me a lot of time! It brought up this, and the heart Stamper, AND the Doll crowns!!   
slob, humor, tp animals

This is not exactly what I had in mind, but it’s so cute, I’m going with it!!   Pinterest

Doll crown:

Bracelet:

slob, humor, tp roll bracelets

Bracelets that might fit PPJr!! LearnCreateLove

Ring for me:

slob, humor, tp roll slice as ring

I have very plain taste in jewelry.

Stamper- heart shape on paper:

slob, humor, tp roll as heart stamper

Not my baby. Why bother going to all the work of making something, when you can just look on Pinterest for an image??

Lazy woman’s way to craft!!

Cord keeper:   Tame Cords

“Keep extension cords, Christmas lights and electronic adapters tidy and tangle-free when there not in use by winding them up and slipping them inside of a toilet paper roll. You can even make a note on the roll to remind you what the wire is for.”

This site will give you a wealth of other uses.      I’m only listing the ones I thought of myself!

 I was hoping for a visual here….        Found one!!        (You can find literally anything you want to on Google, right??)

slob, humor, tp roll cord keepers

OurThriftyIdeas.com                        These are even pretty!

Christmas craft angel:

slob, humor, Christmas angel from tp roll

Not mine!!          This is from : LearnCreateLove.com

I had all these grand plans, of staging these pix, with the girls….      But I’m tired!!             And Google and Pinterest just sing their siren calls constantly!!

3 outta 9 ain’t bad!         To mis-quote Meatloaf.

Update: My friend Patience, of Pressing Patience, sent me this:

slob, humor, Pinterest meme

Thanks, P!

And of course, I HAD to add it!!

 

Past Purdy

Look at this:

slob, humor, ugly past purdy spot

Past Purdy spot

Pitiful.   Just how long ago was it, that I posted about my spot ‘o purdy??      

slob, humor, purple jar

Aha! That’s it!! Perfect!

I know it can’t have been that long ago.        Oh no,  <groan> now I’m going to have to do research.      <shudder>    A word that is so close a cousin to math, that it gives me the heebie jeebies too.

Groan, it was only June 27.      Yes, this year.        Amazing how fast clutter accumulates!

So, once I recognized the problem, (That’s the first step, right Gary??), I determined to restore the spot’s former glory.

  • Put garbage bag in the can.    Naturally after taking out the full one.      I even went all out, and took the kitchen trash too- all the way outside to the bin!!
  •      Replaced the filter in my Brita, put the rest of the box in the pantry.        (Where hopefully I will remember to look for it, next time I need it!)
  •       Filed the blue, and purple polka dotted calendar, along with the bills, and the check!        (How in the world did I end up buying an extra $69 money order for last month’s rent??       Well, you know how me and math don’t get along!!)
  •        Put the glitter glue away in the craft cabinet.    I actually have a place for it now!!         Yoo hoo!!!
  •        The little pink box in the back is baggies, so kitchen cabinet.     They even have a designated spot, too!      I’m on a roll!!
  •        Unpacked the cardboard package, and put stuff away in bathroom.
  •        Placed stapler in desk cubby.
  •        Stashed the 4 magic towels.        Just don’t ask me where…..
  •        Put pink box of new earrings, in donate spot.      And they’re already gone!!
  •        Trashed the $1 microfiber towel, since I’m selling Norwex now.       (And then what happens just yesterday??        Barb, from De-cluttering the Stuff, challenged me to do a side by side comparison between a cheap microfiber cloth cleaning job, and a Norwex one!       Herp derp!        NEVER throw anything away!!      No, wait!      Wrong lesson!       Do get rid of anything not useful, or beautiful.       And it only costs a dollar to replace.      And it’s only 1 item I’ve regretted getting rid of, out of about 1 million[??].     So, I think I’m on the good side, there!)

And then, Ta-Da!!

Here we are, back to Purdy!!

slob, humor, purple jar

Yes, it’s the exact same picture.  But it looks exactly the same, so why waste my time taking an identical pic??

 

Another 8 house post, brought to you by the letter P, and the number eleventy.

 

Goldie’s Goals

I’m Goldilocks.    

{Okay, yeah, I know my hair isn’t gold.     And I don’t have any locks, just stubble.}    

But, this is my story, and I’m sticking to it.     

I’m looking for the perfect chair gardening stool.

First I tried Papa Bear’s Chair.           (PP’s kitchen seat.)

slob, humor, too tall stool

Too hard!

Too  hard tall!!     (I know!!    How could anything be too tall for me??)      I almost fell off of it, when I tried leaning over to weed.     Not good!


Then I tried Mama Bear’s chair.            (PP’s dish washing stool.)

slob, humor, too short step stool

Too soft!

Too soft short!!        (I couldn’t get up without help, too short!)

Now I’m looking around for Baby Bear’s chair, ya know the one that will be just right???        And I don’t see it anywhere!!


PP is fresh outta more stools.          Whatever am I gonna do??

 


Another 8 house post.     Brought to you by Goldilocks, and The Three Bears.

Total Towels

Ok, so in Charitable Choice, I posted about giving away 7 towels, just yesterday.

Tonight, there were 2 more baskets of laundry to fold.       Guess what the majority of the items were??

If you said towels, you win!

In these 2 loads, there were   14   towels total!  

slob, humor, keeping towels

Keeping these 10.

And we had just given away 7!!         And there were 10 already in the cabinet!!

Total towels we had previously:  31 !!!!         For only 2 adults, and 2 kids!         Me thinks we had waaaay too many towels!

So, we culled out some more:

slob, humor, towels leaving this time

Towels going bye!!

Leaving this go round: 4 towels, 2 hand towels, and 1 washrag.

And 1 baby shirt, that’s too little for PPJr now.

And we still have 20 left…… {towels, not baby shirts.   I’m sure we have way more than 20 baby shirts!}


Oh yeah!       And 1 wash rag that only had a lil ole hole in it, that I helped along on its journey.

                       That was fun, ripping into that!!        I love to destroy stuff!!

                          It wasn’t even rag bag worthy, at that point!!        See ya!

Now, we aren’t suffocating in towels anymore!!        But still have plenty, just in case the leaky skylight floods the bathroom!     (again)

This post is brought to you by: The 8 House series, and contributions by readers like you.

Book Blogger

A new friend: My Favorite Recipes, has nominated me for a new award.       Yipee!!

books-and-coffee

                   Book Blogger Test

Thanks, Favorite!!

Here are the requisite

Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and add a link to their blog.
  2. Answer the questions asked on this post.
  3. Nominate at least five people to do it also.
  4. Let your nominees know you nominated them.

 

This is something new, and I’m happy to participate!!      You know I love books!!

     Book Memes      Library       Loser          Paperbacks       Bibles

Convinced yet that I love books??

Okay now, on to the questions, please.           Coming right up!

  1.  WHAT ARE YOUR TOP THREE BOOK PET PEEVES?    (The emphasis was theirs, not mine.      Since they were shouting, I don’t think it needs bold too.)

Um, let’s see….. 1. When the ending pages are torn out!!!!      That makes me cry in anger, and frustration!        2. If the book is poorly edited.     Once, the heroine’s name changed halfway thru.      This really happened!       I got all steamed up, ready to write a stern letter to the editor, then…… I read a different book, and my procrastination kicked in, and I never did it.    3. When the writer is boring.    I still try to hang in there, but 3 times in my life, I’ve given up, and quit reading a book.      It pains me, cuz I know it’s not the book’s fault!      But, I do have standards, ya know!!

2. Describe your perfect reading spot.

Pretty much anywhere there’s a seat, light, me and a book!!    Actually, I don’t even require a seat!     I read while walking down the halls, at school!            I’ve even read in the tub!!

3. Tell us Three book confessions.

I think saying I have put down 3 books, without finishing, probably counts as the first one!     I’m ashamed of myself, that I couldn’t power thru!       2. I proofread, as I go.     I hate it when books have too many mistakes.       Fire your editor already!!       3. I binge read, when I find a new author I like.     I will hunt down their next books, like they are food, and I’m starving!

4. When was the last time you cried during a book?

When did I finish reading the last book??    2 days ago?     Of course I cry when something sad happens!       Those people are real!!      DD1 does too.      When either of us are crying, and we ask, “What’s wrong?”  All the other has to do, is say “Reading, or book.”        And we understand.

5. How many books are on your bedside table?

Here: I’ll show you.

Answer: 10.    2 Bibles, 2 Christian romances, a Strong Willed Child workbook, and 5 kids’ books.

6. What’s your favorite snack to eat while you’re reading?

Food, pretty much!     Brownies top the list, naturally.       And peach Fanta, if I have some.

7. Name Three books you would recommend to Everyone.

Bible- #1, hands down.        Anne of Green Gables.       {This is so hard!!}        5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

8.  Show us a picture of your favorite bookcase , or a bookshelf.

Well, since I moved, and got rid of all my bookcases, apparently my nightstand is it!

slob, humor, books on nightstand

My nightstand is now my new bookshelf.

9. Describe how much books mean to you in just three words.

Oh, wow, another toughie.       Let’s see if I can do this.

Giving me life.       (The Bible literally gives me life, by bringing me to Jesus Christ.     Other books give life to my mind.)

Now another rough part: Nominating just 5 people!!

  1. Susie        A wonderful friend!
  2. Geekmama
  3. Creative Crafts
  4. Beauty Beyond Bones    This girl is seriously wonderful!
  5. Koolaid Mama

As soon as this publishes, I’ll be round to all your blogs, bringing you the good news!

Thanks again, Favorite!     Go check out this Chocolate Cake recipe of hers!!

 

Delightful Dirt Digging

Last Friday night, when the girls came home, I decided it was time to introduce them to dirt.         Well, actually, introduce PPJr to dirt.        PP and dirt have a long standing serious relationship already going on.       Next to rocks, her 2nd favorite toy is dirt!   Sticks come in a very close third.

slob, humor, hierarchy of toys

PP’s Hierarchy of Natural Toys

(apologies to Maslow)

 

So, out to the dungeon flower bed we went.

PP jumped right into helping,

slob, humor, Omie & PP weeding

                              Omie showing PP how to weed.  “No sweetie, pull from the bottom!                            That’s called, picking flowers!”

and showing me all the rocks, and snails, and baby eggs she found.      I’m not sure what the “Baby eggs” were, but she enjoyed finding them!     ( Tiny white spheres, that were very brittle.)        And I promptly “Ooohh”ed and “Ahhhh”ed over each, to her satisfaction.

I tried putting Jr down in the dirt, NOPE!      She wasn’t having ANY of that!!          Every time I picked her up, then tried to put her down, she bent her legs 90 degrees, so I literally couldn’t stand her up!  

After 4 or 5 times, I thought,  “Ya know what??      She wants to sit??         Sit she shall!!”   And I plunked her butt right down in the dirt.      (She had dirt already on her knees from falling, as she tried to walk.        Maybe that was why she was so adamant about not being in the dirt!)

slob, humor, PPJr toes in dirt

No!!!           I can’t touch dirt!!

She was not happy!!    She immediately raised both feet, like they were scalded!!       And refused to put down her hands.       I just ignored her, and kept weeding.      Finally I guess she was convinced that I wasn’t trying to poison her!

slob, humor, sisters in dirt

PP shows little sister that dirt don’t hurt!

So, she put her feet, and hands down, and started touching the dirt.  

Next thing I know, she’s covered with dirt, and eating it!!       

Play date over!!

slob, humor, Omie and my 2 girls

We got a lot done, though!!            Yay, us!

Inside for a good old fashioned hosing off!!         Except, back in the day, I woulda stripped her, and hosed her off right there in the yard!!        Nowadays, we have to be civilized, and use the tub!       {Not to mention, Omie don’t want to get arrested for causing public nudity, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor!}

 

This is an 8 house post.         Due to Shirley’s aversion to the long list, I will skip it today.  You’re welcome, Sis.