Grungy Grabage

Uh, Melinda?

Yeah?

Grungy Grabage makes no sense.    {Also, it rhymes with cabbage, but I digress.}

OOPS!    Sorry!    That’s supposed to be grungy garbage, not grabage.

Well, that does make more sense then.

Y’all know I’m not too proud to show ya ALL my grungy grunk.     But, what am I to do when I keep forgetting to document it??

Recreate it??

Only when it’s something like a to-do list!     Not gonna purposefully make my garbage can really grungy again, just to photograph it!

Not to worry, it’ll get grungy again on its own!     Then you can take a pic!     How’s that??

ARGH!!          Okay, think, think!!     (sound of creaky wheels turning)      Alright, I know!     I’ll just wait and take a pic of the dirty water, in the can, and that will show how dirty it WAS!

Brilliant!      But, hey, what made you think of washing the trash can anyways?      That’s not something you usually do!

Ya got me there!     I went to throw something away, and it was across the room, so I grabbed it, pulled it closer, then, BLAM!       My olfactory nerves were so severely assaulted, that my neuro-pathways temporarily shut down.     I was paralyzed for a few seconds, but then the horrendous stench acted like smelling salts, and brought me back outta the daze.   I hurriedly tied up the offending bag, handed it to SF, dumped a gallon of soap in there, and sprayed it half full of hot water.     My quick thinking action is probably what saved my life. If I had sniffed that any longer, I’d probably been paralyzed for life!!     The amount of toxins per liter was eleventy bajillion!!

(Wonder where I can learn how to install a scratch-n-sniff sticker??)

So, here’s the dirty water pic ya wanted to see.

slob, humor, filthy

Isn’t it glorious??

Uh, not really.    Unless glorious now means gross, that is!     Besides, I didn’t want to see it!     You wanted to see it!

And now, ta-da!!          

slob, humor, still dirty

Nope, not clean, just dry.

Oh, oops!    Someone didn’t realize there was water in it, and threw in a coupla paper towels.       That took care of that!        Now, it’s all dry!          Thanks, XH!!       But, still dirty.         Guess there’s nothing else for it, but to scrub by hand, since the-soapy -water-left-to-itself method didn’t work.

So, I had to get out the 

slob, humor, lysol wipes   and actually scrub!     Because after all this time, (to my shame I started this post 3 months ago) the dirt had hardened back again.     Pictorial proof:

slob, humor, scrubbing      Now, Ta-da!!       For realz this time!!

The pretty, clean, and completely grungy-grabage-free can!       (All you cleanies hide your eyes, you will probably faint.)slob, humor, clean can

Well, okay, except for that 1 spot on the side.    And that little dirt at the bottom.  

slob, humor, cleanish trash can

But, I promise  it is a sterile spot, and sterile dirt!      I have the acid eaten hands to prove it!  Fine!      I’ll go back and wipe again.

Better now??      Ummm, how bow dah??      The spot is still there!slob, humor, cleaner can

And, it’s gonna stay there!!     I couldn’t scrape it off with my thumb nail, and it’s been thoroughly sterilized, so good enough for me!

I’m calling DONE!

Smart & Simple

Yeah, that’s the name of the dish soap I bought last week.      This whole HUGE bottle             (50 oz) for only $1!!!       What a bargain!

slob, humor, just what it says

But!!      Is it really smart??         Is it as simple as that??

Since it doesn’t lather up very well, at all, Like, At ALL, it’s very smart for the people who make, and sell it!       They’re selling a “soap” product that is probably only 11% soap, (and that’s being very generous!!), and 89% water!!        They can afford to sell it for $1, since it only has 1 cent of soap in it!

And I’m the simple one, for believing that a huge bottle of dish soap for $1, would work  well!!       

slob, humor, dish soap?

I had to use another squirt for every dish I washed!         Not a good deal.      Not even a fair deal.

I must say, I love the color, tho!!        (Thank goodness for the bottle specifying lavender!   Otherwise, I might have mistaken it for lilac!)

Sadly, purple coloring doth not a good soap make.      Even I, as purple fanatic as I am, can admit that.

slob, humor, "Dawn" fainted

Dawn fell down, and can’t get up.      She is in shock that I cheated on her.    And with such a cheap floozy, too.

Please forgive me, Dawn!       I’ve learned my lesson!      I won’t do it again!    I promise!!

 

(But I am brainstorming ways to have my purple, and real soap too!)

Seven Seconds Scullery Spices

                                            The series so far.                                             

Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds Sequel

Seven Seconds Scullery

Where we are now: Day 2 of the Kitchen:  Seven Seconds Scullery Spices

 

(Are ya tired of “S” words??        Don’t get that way yet!!        We still have seventy sillion scripts to slog thru!        More or less.)

We already have 2 hours on the scullery clock.      (That’s my decision, and I’m sticking to it.)

Today we are doing the scary spice cabinet.      I’m thinking something has gotta be rotten in there!!       Because I haven’t de-cluttered that in a year, nor the 6 months before that, in the other trailer.     Yeah, so, about that…..

Donning our Haz-mat suit, are we??         I’m thinkin’ that might be best, yes.

Timer set.      Haz-mat suit donned.    Trash can at the ready.     GO!

BEFORE:

DURING:

slob, humor, cleaning shelf

I know this is also the step where ya’re supposed to lay down new shelf liner.     Why bother?      This paper has worked perfectly well for 50 years!        Why change now?     (Well, except for the pieces that got stuck to the bottom of things, and tore off.        But, why quibble?       Besides, I still haven’t found any purple, and I’m holding out hope.) 

Update:   Elizabeth, from The Comfortable Coop, sent me these links from Amazon!  

(Gorgeous!!    But, I’m gonna have to skip the middle one, I feel a seizure coming on, already…)        And 1 is on its way to me now!!    I’ll post later to show ya which one!!     Thanks a million, Elizabeth!!

slob, humor    These got thrown back up onto the top shelf, to be dealt with another day.        I was too tired to think of the best place to put them.

Does oil expire??                Never used these- donate.                 Cleaned this.     YAY!!

And ALL the expired stuff:

I bought the black coloring for Bubba’s 50th.     3 years ago.              You can tell how much I don’t cook, by how little the spices were used!!    I couldn’t even begin to read the red print on the bottom of the oregano bottle, so I just guessed that it probably was past date.       Probably a good guess!          I thought it was funny that one of the spices said “May contain wheat, eggs, milk, soy.”          Since when???      

slob, humor, meds outta place  No wonder it’s hard to find the girls’ meds!!        But, alas, it was expired too.      So, I just put the syringe where it belongs. 

slob, humor, meds

1 more syringe in our arsenal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These canning jar lids- PURPLE!!- should probably be in the back closet, WITH the PURPLE jars!        And so they are, now.

slob, humor, not mine!     Took these 2 things to Mama’s with me.      Yay for returning stuff to it’s home!

 

AFTER:

There!       Doesn’t that look so much better!

And look!    There’s mug hooks!       I could have kept those 2 I donated the other day!      Oh well, somehow I think I’ll make it okay without them.         Just a hunch.

And that only took    _25_ minutes!            I’m so proud of me!         If you can’t get a hold of me later, I’ll be standing in the kitchen, just staring into the open cabinets, admiring the open clean spaces!!

 

Scullery Time so far: 2 hours, 25 minutes.

 

Seven Seconds Scullery

Are you scratching your head in perplexity??       Seven seconds scullery is about the kitchen!!        I learned that word as a teen, reading Gothic romances.      It’s a great word too!       It almost sounds like a curse word, if you inject enough venom, and disgust into your voice!

Yes, indeed, good old 7 hours to a  blah blah…..         Day 1- the scullery.             My nemesis.   Is it really the kitchen??        Or the dirty dishes IN the kitchen??       That YOU put there??               Hmmm, you might have a point there.

Time to tackle the titan.      I realize in Ashley’s list, kitchen came first.    But, since I’m a rebel, I did it second.       I think it’s okay, no penalties assessed.

This is the series so far.

Seven Seconds

I did the living room first.

Second Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds Sequel

Yes, it took me two posts, and 2 hours! to do the living room.      Moving on.

You might remember, I’ve purged the kitchen before- in this house! Not to mention the times I did it before that, in the apartment!

So here are the befores:

(Mine is the lovely 60’s shelf paper!      Hurray!      My eyes got to be burned the whole time!   I can still see that pattern on my retinas!

XH helped me.     (He really is so good to me!      Besides he’s here so much, helping with the girls, the messy cabinets were on his nerves!)

He did 2 cabinets to my 1!     But, I had a handicap!    I had to sit on this stool of PP’s, so I could reach the lower cabinet!

slob, humor, step stool

As you can imagine, it was not comfortable, to say the least!!       Our baselines, didn’t match measurements!

During:

slob, humor, middle of de-cluttering

The white canister bit the dust.     It took us the longest time to even figure out what it was!  Kool-aid.         Sorry, Sis!

We wiped out the shelves, and XH looked at all the expiration dates.      Every.single.one.   I don’t have the patience to do that!!

Funny thing is, this is what we garnered to donate.

slob, humor, donate    And we weren’t even to the utensil drawer yet!     (No, SF, I’m not donating your pink water bottle.  It will be returned home to you.)

(Queen Anne, do you see those purple things????      I might have had duplicates, so I was able to let them go.     Actually, I had 7 mugs, so…..)

And afters:

slob, humor, neat, and clean     Yeah, I know.     You can see that the boxes of popsicles are not neatly stacked.      Who’s got time for that??

Ah!     So much better!        So neat!          So organized!        We can see what we have!      (Best of all, I didn’t have to pay him, like I did Nicole!!)

And it was only 1 hour on the clock!       Of course, that was 2 man hours. (well, 1 man hour, and 1 woman hour, so do I count it as 2 hours??)  

But we only got 3 cabinets done in an hour, with both of us working.       😦       It’s gonna be a l-o-n-g   scullery series!!

 

Second Seven Seconds Sequel

The series so far:

Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds

As you probably remember, I didn’t get finished with the living room in an hour.  Shocker.   Therefore, this sequel is needed.

The timer stands at 1 hour, 3 minutes.      And the tree is still up, and the recliner is still full of clothes.      sigh    

Yesterday, while the girls were here, I made sure I told PP that Christmas was over.     “Chwissmas obeh??”        Yes, Darling,  Christmas is over for now.        We will have Christmas again later, at the end of the year.           “Chwissmas obeh??”    she repeated, still in shock.       Yes, baby, it is.

So, I had her take the last 3 ornaments off the tree, and put them away in the tub.      I hoped that letting her do the final step, would help her transition from Christmas to “not Chwissmas.”

Time elapsed: 10 minutes.        She was a bit reluctant!

Then I had her help me recycle a stack of flattened boxes off the dining room table.     (Oops!       That’s not living room!        Well, it kinda is, so let it alone.)

Time elapsed: 30 minutes.        Why so long??        Well, we had to load the boxes into our arms.   7 minutes, because she wanted to hold ALL the boxes!    And she couldn’t, so after we she picked them up off the floor, we had to start over.      Then, I have to take the stairs slow, another 5 minutes.     Opening the recycling, and her putting the boxes in, 18 minutes.  Are you serious???         Yep!      She is very methodical about her work!      Each box had to go in separately.       Apparently they were singles, not mates.     (Box, not sox, Jen!)

Gwandma Wose came over to help me load the girls into Vanronica.      PP had to be sure and inform her that “Chwissmas  obeh, and Sanna gone.”

The timer is now up to 1 hour, 43 minutes.

And the call went out to my men.       I need help putting the tree away, guys!

Tonight, my trusty helper, SF answered the call!       He came, he conquered!        The Christmas tree is sadly packed away for another year.

slob, humor, no more tree

Another 15 minutes added on.      It would have been less, but he had to walk all the way across the WHOLE porch, into the workshop!       Poor guy!      His feet must have blisters on ’em now!

An hour, and 58.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot what Pop did!     He brought in the front door wreath, and entombed  buried  placed it in the storage tub.     1 1/2 mins.          I think we’ll just round up there!

 

Oh no!!!       We forgot to pack up the “angel” tree topper!!

slob, humor, "angel" tree topper       Please dear GOD let PP forget this by Dec!!!         Too bad, it’s trash now!!

Time: 2 hours on the dot!!      I knew it!      And we’re STILL not done!

Hopefully we will all survive the deprivation of Christmas, for the next 11 months!

The last tackle: the recliner full of clothes, or as I like to call it, “the clothes hamper in the living room.”       I want so bad! to just end the post now.      But, gotta get it dun dun.     (Anybody else hear Mama say “DO IT NOW!!”  ????)

slob, humor, clean laundry as decoration!

And, I hate ta tell ya this, but…          What?          You forgot something else.           What??           Look up.          slob, humor, "all the holidays" shelf

Oh, bother!   Well, that’s just gonna have to go with the dining room part!        Putting up the laundry is all I’m gonna be able to do this month  week   day  hour.

(Work, sweat, pant, huff, puff, stomp, hang, fold, put away…)

Only 11 minutes??     Are you kiddin me??         Wow, that’s amazing!         Just don’t let Shirley find out that you put the woven basket of hand-me-down clothes in the girls’ room to sort out later!              Shhhh!     Blabbermouth!

slob, humor, emptied!

There!!       Doesn’t that look so much better!        I culled out 3 items- 1 pr pants that were so tight, PP couldn’t even get her calves in- but they were 6x! Her size!       I know, I know!!   And a sweater that PPJr had to wear one day, as an emergency, but is too big!       And a 10-12 Christmas shirt.     They all went into the “Can these be worn later by a growing baby/girl?” part of my closet.

Final total for living room: 2 hours, 11 minutes.      (The clothes I stashed in their room will just have to go on their total!)

Time to reward myself!!       zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Cookie Chaos Calmed

The cookie chaos lasted WAY too long!!         WE (and by we I mean they!) made the cookies on Sat. Dec. 13th.

And the table was still a mess on Dec. 22,

img_20161222_094041

but I was supposed to have it cleaned up by Christmas, so I could have people over.    Sadly, I found out on Christmas Eve, that only DD2, the girls, and Pop Pop were coming, so I knew I had more time to get it clean!    (NO ONE should ever tell me that people are NOT coming!! It just leads to no good!!)

Wanna know when I FINALLY got it all cleaned up?      Fri. Jan. 6!     And then ONLY because we were FINALLY having our family Christmas at Mama’s!       (hangs head in shame)      I knew if I didn’t get Mama’s rolling pins, cookie sheets and cutters back to her, her head was probably gonna explode!

So, I washed all the cookie cutters.

And the rolling pins.    And the cookies sheets, and cooling racks.

slob, humor, clean cookie sheets

And the table.    

Ok, Pop Pop washed the table for me.    ANYWAYS, the table was washed.     Does it really MATTER who did it????

Yeah for a finally clean, and clear table!!slob, humor, cleared table

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I know the hearts, but they are glued on there, and I for one don’t have want to spend the time scraping them up!!

Second Seven Seconds

The second seven seconds is the family (living) room/dining room/entry.       Since my kitchen, living and dining rooms are all 1 big room, it might be hard to separate them properly like Ashley  Phipps does.     But, I’ll manage!   As long as I’m de-cluttering, and documenting it, I don’t think y’all are gonna quibble about which “room” I’m doing, right?? That’s what I thought.   Thank you!

 

So, I started in the living room on Jan. 11.      (I know I’m outta order, that’s just how I roll.) My Christmas tree still being up, helped me decide to start there.    

 

slob, humor, Chtristmas tree

Yeah, the tp in the foreground adds such a classy touch. XH brought in the storage tub, and I started emptying it out.       THEN, I even wiped it out!!Yoo hoo!!   There were all manner of empty boxes, and crumpled piles of tissue paper, some being actual tissues.      What??      I wasn’t about to run to the store for actual tissue paper, when I had tissues right there!      But maybe, just maybe, since I’m gonna have a neat, de-cluttered home now, I’ll do that from now on.          Not holding my breath.        That would probably be for the best.

I evaluated all the ornaments that I hadn’t used this year.     Most of them were glass, or ceramic.      Why didn’t I use them??     1 word-  1 toddler and 1 baby.     Okay, that was 5 words.      Whatever.

Anyway, I threw out all the scratched ones.     There went half!    

 I wrapped all the glass ones that weren’t sentimental, for donation.      Why??       Because PPJr is gonna turn into a toddler, and stay one for years!!

slob, humor, donation

The sentimental, glass and ceramic ones, like these that DD1 made as a child,

slob, humor, handmade ornaments

and this one that DD2 made,  

slob, humor, handmade ornaments

She made the present. I made the cross stitch 20 years ago with the others, but had finished this one!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wrapped up carefully and stored in the Tupperware box I already had for that purpose.

img_20170111_181745

Then I trashed the left over paper, recycled the boxes, and stripped the tree.     

slob, humor, ornaments(Oh, Tannenbaum, oh Tannenbaum, how evergreen thy branches.      Anybody else hear that music??)

All that hard work took me 30 minutes.     Making decisions is HARD!!

The actual tree was left standing for a helper to take down.    No, not PP, even tho I’m sure she’d manage to take it apart somehow , if I let her!    

Now, I only have 30 more minutes to de-clutter the rest of the living room.       We’ll see!

Oh, wait!    I almost forgot the 10 minutes I spent taking down the cards, and all PP’s decorations!        (And trashing them, much to my own satisfaction!       I was very proud of myself for not keeping them!        I did mark down who the cards were from, first.         Yikes! I only have 20 minutes left now!

See??      I knew it would take me more than an hour!!

Another 15 minutes on the clock, to deal with all this mess.

It only took me that long to deal with it, AND sweep!! Woo hoo!         Boy, am I getting good at this, or what?!

Hey, before you break your arm patting yourself on the back, you seem to be forgetting something.  What??       Oh yeah, I still have this left to deal with.                 And this:

slob, humor, pile o' clothes                                             slob, humor, clutter

Well, we’re already 55 minutes in.        But, okay, okay, more time on the clock.

But I don’t feel like doing those right now.      (Looks around to spy something else.     Anything else!)       Aha!     The china cabinet!

slob, humor, all clean    Nope!   Nothing there!     (I looked!)    YAY!!

Hmmmmthe chest of drawers, even tho I know there’s nothing in there I can get rid of.     But as Dana always says, Don’t assume!       Look anyway!       So I did.       Lo and behold!       All this can go!!

slob, humor, donation stuff                       slob, humor, why????

For pity’s sake!!      Why did I have a bloody candle????         I think you were gonna paint it purple?     And you only paid 5 cents on clearance.        Yeah, that would explain it, but obviously that ain’t happening!

Clearly I had NO idea what-n-all was in there!      WE have eleventy hundred videos, so I’m quite sure PP will never even notice the lack of these.     And I have no candle holders for the tapers, so……

Now I have a nice, fat bag to donate.     And that was only 8 minutes.      The total is up to 1 hour, and 3 minutes.     And I still have those 2 piles to go.     sigh    Another day.      I already did my few dishes this morning, now it’s nap time!!

Several more seven seconds to come!