Buh Bye Bob!

Okay, since I can not figure out what to do with water Bob, and PopPop has given me permission to break up with him in any way I see fit, it’s buh bye, Bob!        Now to break it to him.


Bob, it’s not you, it’s me.

Well, ok, it is you.

When we first met, I felt like you were the perfect one!     So nicely groomed, and packaged!    So precisely folded!      So useful!!

slob, humor, Water Bob

My new man!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But then, after we carried our relationship to the next level, you just sat there, wishy washy, as if you were filled with liquid, or something!        I need someone who is sturdy, and dependable!

True, you stayed in place, and never left me, but what a cold fish you were!!     I need more warmth than you provided.

slob, humor, water stored in the tub

Once the crisis was over, you deflated like a balloon.      I need someone who can stand beside me, come what may, both good and bad!

You never once gave me any compliments, or responded verbally in any way, when I spoke to you.        I have to have conversation!!         The strong silent type is not for me!!

And I really hate to mention this part, but you need to know.      Your hygiene wasn’t the best, at the end.         You didn’t finish drying off after your shower, and there was a …                                         I have to say it…… a slight mustiness about you.           When I make an effort to stay clean, and fresh smelling for you; the very least you could do is show me the same courtesy! 

 Then, you just stayed in the corner, all balled up, like a useless blob of nothingness.     

slob, humor, empty water bob

Bob is a big, blobbing bother now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get up, and do something, man!!           I have my own depression issues, I really don’t have time, or energy to be your caretaker!!

Maybe next time, things will work out for you.       It was nice knowing you.

Buh bye Bob!! 


An Irma post, brought to you by the letter “B”, and water.

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Purse Purging

(More info about Irma stuff, when I can get the pesky pix to load!!)

That time of year again; ye ole annual purging o’ the purse.        Since I have a fairly small one now, it could probably be bumped up to biannually, at least!

slob, humor, orange purse

*Gasp!!* An orange purse??? PurpleSlob, are you sick??

I know, I know!     No one I know can believe I bought an orange one!!

Here’s the pix of this go round.          Start.

slob, humor, purse interior
Da dark depths of da dungeon. I mean purse.

1 lonely earring.    That I’ve only worn once, cuz I hate intensely dislike the colors.   (Well, I brought them to coordinate with a shirt, that then I got rid of too, cuz I don’t like those colors.    DUH!)

slob, humor, 1 earring
1 lonely earring. 1 piece clear trash

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How many purple pens do I need in my purse??  

slob, humor, 3 purse pens

1 lil, 2 lil, 3 lil pens!

Hint: probably not this many.         And I definitely don’t need the orange one!       No matter what color my purse is!

Receipts, mostly trash.     Except the one for rent, and the one with survey code for free Wendy’s sandwich!

slob, humor, receipts
Mostly useless receipts.

Some more VIT= very important trash.

slob, humor, purse trash

DD1’s credit card, to get gas, in Vanronica.     Yeah, that was pretty much purged immediately, back into her hot little hand!         (DD’s, not Vanronicas’!)        But honey, it was orange, and I just couldn’t see it against the lining of my purse!

slob, humor, DD1's debit

DD1’s debit.

2 things hand sanitizer.      Since one is Norwex, guess which one is being purged??

slob, humor, 2 kinds han san

Who’s hands are the dirtiest??

I had previously purged the useless, long, skinny strap:

slob, humor, long skinny strap gone

Useless, long, skinny strap: gone!

Finally, we’re down to the lining.    

slob, humor, dirty purse lining
Yucky mess! (So what else is new??)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cleaning the lining will have to wait for another day.       I’m bushed!     Lol.

An 8 house post.      Brought to you by the letter “P”, and the color orange.

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#23

Did Dishes

This is what was happening on Aug. 21, 2014.

https://purpleslobinrecovery.wordpress.com/2014/08/21/sit-down-before-reading-this/

I can still hardly believe it myself!

 

slob, humor, wow emoji

Wow!!  And bewildered!

(How is this a Wow emoji?????)

slob, humor, poop is NOT wow

Purple poop is NOT wow!   It’s disgusting!    And probably indicates a severe gastrointestinal problem!

smh

Fanatic Fan

XH cleaned my ceiling fan with an Enviro.        (The ugly green one.   But it works.           I can’t always have a pretty purple cloth for everything.       Cleaning is a dirty job, but some color has to do it.)

slob, humor, XH cleaning fan

XH doing a great job!!

Notice how he’s the one up on the ladder, not me?!          I can’t even stand up on my own 2 feet, NOT gonna attempt being up on a ladder!        Dirt is not worth a hip!!

slob, humor, dust

Here’s a sampling of the dust. You’re welcome.

Doesn’t work the same, as a dust mitt!!          There’s a reason Norwex makes different cloths for different jobs!

DD1 had previously used a dust mitt, (not even standing on a ladder.)

And the Enviro does pick up the dust, but it pushed some off the end of the blade too.     The dust mitt didn’t!    

But DD1’s purpose had been to do a quick trial of the dust mitt.        XH was up there to really clean!!         (Yes, at my request.     What??       You think he just roams the neighborhood, asking people what he can clean for them??       Don’t they wish!)

(I took more pix, but am still having trouble getting them off this phone.      Urgh!             Hopefully I Sweet Friend can figure it out soon!       If he can’t, no body can!!)

Now, all I have to do is get the Envirowand out, and dust the light globes!          And maybe I’ll get it done before we move!       Lol          After all, our lease is up in May 2018, and y’all know how I am so bad with deadlines!!

 


A Norwex post.        (This is my business link.      I make a commission on any sales.)

slob, humor, Norwex

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Mira! Mirrah

Mira! is Spanish for look!

Mirrah is Southern for mirror.

And here’s my dirty mirrah.

slob, humor, dirty mirror.

Dirty mirror.      Sexy knee is free.

First, ya clean it  with a wet Norwex Enviro.

slob, humor, washing mirror.

Washy, washy!

Isn’t the pink Enviro so pretty??

Then, ya polish with the window cloth.            This gorgeous lavender window cloth!

slob, humor, Norwex window cloth

Pretty, pretty, purple!

Wash out the cloths, wring, and hang to dry.

slob, humor, Norwex cloths hung to dry
Norwex pink enviro, and lavender window cloths, hung to dry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ta Da!!  

Mira!!        One beautifully sparkling clean mirrah!

slob, humor, clean mirror

Nice and clean now!

 


A Norwex post.        (This is my business link.      I make a commission on any sales.)

slob, humor, Norwex

Norwex is the best!

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Second Song

Here is my second ever post.

Second Day.

I had even learned how to upload my own pix!!       Wooo hoo!       I was on a roll!!

I didn’t know my BBFFJ, yet tho, so no alliteration!       😉

But the purple has been there from the beginning.

When I decided to start a blog, there was no question about the color scheme!

slob, humor, purple confetti

It’s raining purple!

Totally Toxic Tub Toypaloosa

Get a load of this load of lovelies!

These is the girl’s totally toxic tub toypaloosa.

(I had already removed the moldy ducks.)


I got these spanking new duckies last week,

slob, humor, ducks

I have ducks!    And they’re in a row!    Look Elizabeth!

and told PP she could only have them if she threw away the old moldy ones.      

slob, humor, mildewed duck

This is not even the worst one.     Eeek!

Which she happily did immediately!       She even grabbed the nasty Mama duck, and threw her in the trash too!       Wow!!               4 toys out, only 3 in!!            Score!!

But it’s so embarrassing WHY the poor little innocent ducks had to meet their fate.     They were toxic.         Probably to the nuclear reactor factor- toxic.        😦

But this time is gonna be different!!

slob, humor, clear nail polish
Hopefully this will shut the ducks up, no more squeaking!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I read somewhere a long while back, that to keep toys clean, ya need to plug up the water hole, with nail polish.        So, here we go to test that theory out!

slob, humor, nail polish on duck holes

I’ll try anything!

It worked on the mama duck’s beak, but not so well on the babies’ bottoms.       The nail polish just kept endlessly dripping into the empty cavern.       Need to go back to the drawing board!

Now, to get rid of the other toxic tub toys.

slob, humor, toxic tub toys being thrown away

Buh bye totally toxic tub toys!

Yeah, when PP, and PPJR get back from Daddy’s, they will probably notice a few toys missing.       But, hoping the joy of the new duckies will carry them along for a while!!

Well, I know they are really, really gonna miss this 1 especially.

slob, humor, dirty mermaid

Pretty dirty mermaid

So, I’m thinking I will try to rescue it with Norwex.        Will post about the rescue effort later.


slob, humor, safe tub toys

Perfectly purged playthings.

Totally toxic tub toypaloosa no more!!

 


An 8 house post.

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Blogging Blogiversary

slob, humor, 3rd blogiversary

My 3rd!!

I can’t believe it!!         It’s been 3 years!!       My 3rd blogiversary was 8-19, last Saturday!         It’s almost unbelievable to me, that y’all love to read, and comment on my posts, and I have almost 1,000 followers!!         In case I don’t say it enough, y’all purple peeps are my very favoritist peeps in the whole, wide world!!       Thank you!!

slob, humor, purple peeps

Y’all are my purple peeps!        I love ya!!     And I promise not to eat you up!

I started out, in such a sad shape.       Hardly able to get up off my duff, and sweep a little bit.         Now here I am, 3 short years later, selling cleaning products, and keeping our house clean!       Okay, clean-ish!        You can actually walk in on any given day, and see the floor, the kitchen table, (at least part of it), and use the restroom, without me having any panic attacks, and you running out screaming about the ecoli cloud enveloping you!

AND!     Let’s not forget, picking up a 28 pound baby, on a regular basis!           I’m Purple Slob, hear me roar!        (Thanks to Helen Reddy.)

I hope we have many more happy years together!!

slob, humor, purple blogiversay

Have I said it enough times now??

Facebook Fail??

Last Sat., I attempted something brand new!        A FB Live!!      (Yes, yes, I attempted to post a video last year, but FB Live is a whole ‘nother animal!!)

Oh my goodness!!       It worked to post here!!       I can’t believe this!!        So excited!    😀            And I did it all by myself!!          See, an old, gray mare can be what she used to be!         {I didn’t want to say an old dog can learn new tricks, cuz I ain’t no dog!!}

{I wonder why I can’t hear it??      Any way, I hope you were stocked up on dramamine!}

Since this was a brave new world for me, as you might expect, I learned a L.O.T. of lessons!

  1. If the girls are not picked up on time- Abort the mission!!       I repeat- Abort the mission!!          As Sweet sis-in-love put it so gently, “It was a little hard to hear over the baby’s noise.”      Yes, poor PPJr was singing the song of her people, loudly!!        My party goers will appreciate, and understand, if I need to re-schedule.       Trust!    {It came out in many different snippets, instead of 1 long video.}
  2. I am a lousy cameraman.woman!!       In my defense, it’s extremely difficult to juggle a camera, and a whining toddler, who is clinging to me for dear life!!     And that’s not even mentioning the pre-schooler who wants to help.with.every.single.thing.        Whether she is actually capable or not.        With the restrictions of not filming their faces, yeah, a good time was had by all…..  ahem
  3. Make sure all products, and demos are set up, ahead of time!!        No one wants to get sea sick from the wildly swinging camera views, as I go look for stuff!!     See #2 above.
  4. Try to not roll my eyes every 2 seconds.      I hated seeing it myself!!       I can only imagine how irritated it made my attendees!      On a good note, I think I was giving lots of good eye contact, in between rolls!
  5. An hour would have been long enough!!     I scheduled 2, but there was just no way!!
  6. Make sure there is proper lighting.       Watching a blank screen, while I try to figure out how to end the blackout, was probably not in their top 3 fave moments of the day.
  7. Learn how to actually do a FB Live, sooner than 24 hours before the scheduled event.        Maybe even practice once or twice beforehand.
  8. Do not nap until 1 minute after the start time!       Very important key step!!
  9. Hire a speech coach next time.
  10. Write a script, instead of trying to wing it, on products you only learned about 3 weeks ago.
  11. Actually remember to purchase the raffle tickets, when you promised to give away prizes, and give a certain number of tickets for different things.       Hand writing the names, then cutting them up, was rather tedious.
  12. Have a bowl handy to put the tickets in!      Using a box with open bottom, was not the best choice.     (It was flapped shut, just not taped.    So some of the slips periodically escaped.       Everyone patiently waited while I retrieved them, thankfully.         Why wouldn’t they??        They wanted to know if they won something free!!

A Norwex post.          (This is my business link.        I make a commission on any sales.)

slob, humor, Norwex

Norwex is the best!

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