Filthy Fan

This is my filthy fan on the front porch.

slob, humor, fan

Fearfully filthy fan

See how the blades appear gray??   Yeah, they’re actually white, or beige??

Shameful!!  That thing needs a good wash!   It’s a wonder it’s still working, with that ton  of dirt and dust on it!    

I know!   The lady who lived here before should be ASHAMED of herself for having such a filthy fan on her porch!!

What??    You were talking to ME????

But, but…..I’ve only lived here 6 months!!!   (whine whine whine)   Why is it my fault???     (Correction: I’ve now lived here a year, and 4 months!!    Yeah, I started this post 16 months ago!!  And the fan is still filthy!!)         For shame, Melinda!

On my last day, of emptying the trailer out, I decided to actually quit procrastinating, and just clean the thing.

slob, humor, dust snakes

Swipes from the first 2 blades.

My, what lovely dust snakes, you have Melinda!             Why, thank you, Melinda!

slob, humor, sweeping

Showing the last step in the process.

slob, humor, clean fan!

And Ta-Da!

So, I was right both times.     The blades are beige, and the sides are white!

slob, humor, clean(er) fan blade

Oops! Didn’t get it all clean.

And I’m sure it cools better now too!        But, I’ll never know, being as how the electric was already off!

At least I left it in better condition than I found it.

Frightfully filthy fan forgone.

Seven Seconds Sinking

slob, humor, 7 hours????

http://simplydesigning.porch.com/7-hours-to-a-decluttered-home/

Poor Ashley Phipps, doesn’t know me, or my home.       I’m thinking she would run away screaming, if she ever stepped foot in mine!

Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds Sequel      

Seven Seconds Scullery 

Seven Seconds Scullery Spices

Seven Seconds Scullery Scape

Seven Seconds Scullery Sunder

Seven Seconds Scullery

Seven Seconds Scullery Spices

Seven Seconds Scullery Scape

Seven Seconds Scullery Sunder

Seven Seconds Scullery Scrape

Seven Seconds Scullery Scaffolding

Seven Seconds Scullery Second Scraping

SS Scullery Scrapings, Scobblelotcher

Seven Seconds Sisters’ Scene

Seven Seconds Scullery Skippy

Seven Seconds Shed

Seven Seconds Shed Seconds

Now we’re here:  The bathroom.

Or, as I’ve called it,  The “Sinking“.

My heart is sinking, just thinking about going in there.      Yes, the new floor is wonderful!  

slob, humor, beautiful new floor!

But that ugly blue shower curtain just grates on my nerves!!    

slob, humor, ugly bath

I really gotta do something about that!       Who has time?   with all this de-cluttering??     

De-cluttering is more important than decorating, right??       Well, it is when you’re in the middle of a series on de-cluttering!

(Update: Yeah!  I finally did something about that blah blue curtain!!    And my shower time is so purplicious now!! )  

slob, humor, new shower curtain

Isn’t she so lovely?

  

And then there’s this horror:

(No, not the faulty faucet, the other horror.)

slob, humor, hideous avocado color

This picture does not do justice to the glaring hideousness of the (60’s? 70’s?) bright avocado green color.      Shudder!      It makes my hands still feel dirty, even after I wash them!     From the green reflection on my skin!

The Sinking!!

But wait!     We’re not here today to bemoan the hideous state of the bath decor!          We’re here to de-clutter!!

Alright, I’m going in.

First, I looked at the counter.

slob, humor, bath clutter

Not a great pic, but it shows what ya need to see.

These can probably go:

slob, humor, clutter- bath

junk

slob, humor, bath clutter

Yeah, I know there’s still soap in there, but it’s been here since Christmas.

And without any angst, too!!         Yay!

And the pot went back into the tub, where it belongs.    What???    You don’t keep your toy pots in the tub??

slob, humor, bath clutter gone

Clutter be gone! Dirt stayed at home.

There!  Much better already!!

Happy Heater can go.    NO!!!      Not out the door, goofball!!       Under the sink!!

slob, humor, put in its place

Happy Heater’s Hot Home

This needs to stay, tho.    

slob, humor, bathroom need

Necessity

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I so wish these 2 would go!    In the trash!!

So useless!        Do they even make those tiny Dixie cups anymore??       {Wow, this is turning into a photo essay.      Hope y’all enjoy!}


Ya know what??       While I’m here, I’m gonna clean some too!         Don’t get your hopes up!        Nothing too wild n crazy.       Just swipe a wipee around.

 

slob, humor, cleaning supplies

I included the trash can, just so you’d have the full experience! You’re welcome!

Might as well do the toilet.       I know, all the germaphobes thank me from the bottom of their hearts!       You’re welcome!        

But I had already put the wipes back on the shelf.      [facepalm]

slob, humor, cleaning supplies

Back in closet. So efficient, returning it to where it belongs!!

Except when it’s not, because I have to immediately get it back out again!

Leave it to me, to make more work for myself!            

 


Disaster!    

While I was wiping the seat, after the handle, or was that backwards???      Anyway, the wipee fell into the bowl!      Oh no!!        No pix, just grabbed it up real quick before it completely soaked up all the water!       Thankfully the trash can was right there!

Whew, a deep breath to recover from that trauma.

So, that was the end of the toilet cleaning.     I had already swish-and-swiped the bowl the day before.

I’m coming up on 600 words here, so gonna cut it off here.

More tomorrow!


House Time Before: 12 hrs 28 min.

Today’s Tub Time: 15 min.

Total House Time Now: 12 hrs 43 min.

 

Money Meme

I’m not sure if you’ll think these first 3 are funny, but they gave me a little chuckle.       Let me know what you think!  And I know, only the first one is about money, but give me a break!!     Coming up with alliterative titles for memes once a week is hard!!   

slob, humor, how bow dah memeslob, humor, how bow dah meme

slob, humor, how bow dah meme

slob, humor, hypocrite spray

LOL!! Really, I laughed out loud!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

slob, humor, puppy meme

Awwww. so cute!

slob, humor, toddler meme

Toddlers!! True Story!

slob, humor, mommy meme

Haha!! Must be over 55, like me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

slob, humor, yucky meme

I think “awful” might be the key word there!

slob, humor, Asian dad

Aw, Dad! Not again!

Y’all know I’m gonna sneak him in, if I can!

slob, humor, kid president meme

Yeah!! I’ll vote for him!!

slob, humor, Leghorn Foghorn meme

I say!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Authorized Artwork

In my house, there is authorized artwork, and unauthorized artwork. With a 3 yo, and a 1 yr, I’m sure you can imagine. But since you know me, you know you don’t have to.  I will show and tell!

Authorized:                                                           

 

slob, humor, painting

“Pretty in Pink” by PP

 

Unauthorized:

slob, humor, unauthorized art

Bed sheet- No!

Authorized:

slob, humor, authorized art

Pretty, pretty pumpkin

Unauthorized:

 

slob, humor, misplaced art

Not on the table, PP!

Authorized:

slob, humor, authorized art

“Self Portrait” by PP Her Pink Phase

 

Unauthorized:

 

More bed sheet graffiti.           (Why does my camera make stuff different colors??      It’s all the same beigish/pale yella sheet!!)   smh

Authorized:

       “My big hand”                                               Unnamed

UnAuthorized Artwork:

         PP does love her markers!      Apparently the cabinets were just too plain                            for her sensibilities!

 

And so on, and so on.

So  far, the only unauthorized artwork that PPJr has participated in is: eating the crayons!        Sorry, no pix of that, due to the no pix rule.       But she did make some marks on a paper!     And I immediately sent it to Grandmama as a love letter!      (while forgetting to document it for y’all.      My apologies!)

Hopefully soon PP will be broken of the unauthorized artwork habit, and PPJr won’t pick it up!       I sure hope so!

Shared here:

 

Sweet Sanjita

Sanjita from Cluster of Stars has tagged me in her Blue Skies Post.       Thanks, Sanjita!!     How sweet!

The ubiquitous:

Rules 

  • Give 11 questions
  • Tag 11 people
  • Answer the 11 questions given to you
  • Thank the person who tagged you

blue-skytag

 

Questions for the Tagged Bloggers (Me!)

1. Which languages do you speak?

English, tiny bit of Spanish, Teacherese , Toddler, and some American Sign language.     Hey!     Does that make me quinlingual??

2. What’s your favourite colour?

slob, humor, heart

Y’all can answer that one in unison!!       (If this is your very first time, I’ll give ya a hint. Look at my name.)

3. What’s the last song that you listened to?

Ho, ho, ho hosanna, ha, ha, ha, hallelujah, He, He, He, He saved me, I’ve got the joy of the Lord!      (One of PP’s Toddler Bible songs, on CD.)

4. Which F.R.I.E.N.D.S character is most like you?

I think Phoebe, because she dresses weird, is sorta flighty, and doesn’t keep a neat house!    And her tiny, tiny tattoo!!

5. E-books or hardcover/paperback novels?

Paperbacks fer sure!!      I need to feel paper, under my fingertips!

6. What’s your dream holiday destination?

My bed!

7. Dogs or cats?

Ummm,  except for my sweet Roxie D,I hate all other cats, including her annoying little sister, what’s her name.!    I am Roxie’s Fan Club President, if she still wants me, after I made such a boo boo!    So dogs it is.     Remember, Emily is the only dog I’ve ever loved?

8. Would you rather be Sherlock Holmes or John Watson?

Another hard one!    I don’t like mysteries, but I do like being in charge, and getting all the attention!     So, I guess Sherlock.

9. If you got stuck in the lift with a person you don’t like, what would you do?

Chatter their ear off!

10. What’s your favourite beverage?

Peach Fanta!!

 

slob, humor, yummy drink!

11. What’s your favourite quote?

John 3: 16          “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believed on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life.”

 

Tag 11 others:

Oh, goodness, y’all know I hate to play favorites!       But here goes:

  1. Crystal – a brand new blogger!     Y’all welcome her, I know ya will!

2. Clare

3.  Bella

4. Madelyn

5. Chris

6. James

7. JKL

8. Kally

9. Carrie

10. Anne

11. Lydia

 

Questions for the Tagged Bloggers:

  • Which languages do you speak?
  • What’s your favorite color?
  • What’s the last song that you listened to?
  • E-books or hardcover/paperback novels?
  • What’s your dream holiday destination?
  • Naps, best thing ever? Or, overrated?
  • If you got stuck in the elevator, what would you do?
  • What’s your favorite beverage?
  • What’s your favorite quote?
  • What’s the hardest part of blogging for you?
  • What’s your best childhood memory?

There, all done!!

Patrick’s Page

This was my St Patrick’s Day post from 2015.        Wearing O’ the Green.

So, this year I thought I’d research it a tiny bit more.         Here’s what I learned.

From the website: http://www.christianitytoday.com/history/2008/august/real-st-patrick.html

slob, humor, St Patrick

The “Real St. Patrick”

“Patrick isn’t really a Saint with a capital S, having never been officially canonized by Rome. And Patrick couldn’t have driven the snakes out of Ireland because there were never any snakes there to begin with.”

“Though he was not solely responsible for converting the island, Patrick was quite successful. He made missionary journeys all over Ireland, and it soon became known as one of Europe’s Christian centers. This, of course, was very important to fifth-century Christians, for whom Ireland was one of the “ends of the earth.”

 

But, he DID use the shamrock to explain the Trinity, right??

Well, according to this website, no.     It was all just legends.

http://catholichotdish.com/the-pastors-page/saint-patrick-the-shamrock-and-the-trinity/

“There are several popular legends about how St. Patrick used the shamrock to explain the mystery of the Trinity.”

Being as how I wasn’t there, I am not gonna argue the point.      I do think it’s a great illustration!

Alright, now on to my St Patrick’s Day stuff.           You already saw my mantel.

slob, humor, St Pat's Day shelf   From Seven Seconds Scullery Scape.

Now, here’s my porch door, outside.   

slob, humor, door shamrocks             slob, humor, door shamrocks  Porch door inside.

   

                                  Front door, outside.                       Front door, inside.                                              

And I also put one on Vanronica’s window, PP’s side.    And immediately she said “Wheah’s baby _____(PPJr)’s??”         Bless her heart, for being so sweet to her baby sister!!         (Now, I gotta go take one down off the mantel, and tape it to the baby’s side!!)                                   

  Here’s some funny stuff I saw at the store.

I want these tights!!     Of course, I’d have to wear them on my arms…..                                       And the white fuzzy things are leg warmers!!!     LOL

Ok, so that’s all the green I got going on today.

Seven Seconds Scullery Scaffolding

Boy, I hope I get outta the Scullery soon!      I’m running outta alliterations!       Nooo!!!!         I can’t believe it!         Don’t test me!

   The series so far.

slob, humor, decluttering

http://simplydesigning.porch.com/7-hours-to-a-decluttered-home./


Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds Sequel

Seven Seconds Scullery

Seven Seconds Scullery Spices

Seven Seconds Scullery Scape

Seven Seconds Scullery Sunder

Seven Seconds Scullery Scrape


Alright, now we’re in the midst of Seven Seconds Scullery Scaffolding.         What in the world does scaffolding have to do with the Scullery??         Well, here’s my take on it.     Google defines it as “a temporary structure on the outside of a building, made usually of wooden planks and metal poles, used by workers while building, repairing, or cleaning the building.”         So, I’m taking the cleaning part, and applying it to the fridge.           Got it?      No, not that it matters to you.

So, the inside of the fridge is a fright!!

This is the top shelf.      Can you see those open cans??      Look behind the pie!

                                                            Yeah, had to trash those!

And later, I found out, thanks to PP’s discriminating taste buds, that the milk was rotten too.       Sorry, baby!       Omie didn’t mean to!

     (If you squint, can’t you see how the wire shelves look like scaffolding??)

Second shelf, the 2 dozen eggs that I bought for DD2’s birthday breakfast.       On Feb 23.      At least it was 2017!!       And at least 1 of the yogurt boxes was completely empty.      Huh.         And more open cans.        Can you say yuck!!          I thought ya could!

The 3rd shelf.        Green eggs, (I’m sure by now)   and ham.     (At least I think that’s ham, all bundled up under there.      Probably it’s green by now too.)          And that yogurt is at least 7 months old.       Another toss without opening.

slob, humor, icky shelf

Close up of ickiness.

Yay!     At least 2 cleared, if not clean, surfaces!         Oopsie!      That cantaloupe is way past it’s prime.     Unless old as the hills is prime time now.       Poor PP, never got her ‘loupe.

Why do I have 2 lemons, for goodness’ sake??         I don’t even remember buying 1!     And I sure don’t remember using it!        But, it was amusing when PP opened it, and tried to drink it!       Bless her little heart!!          Oh, since I don’t remember which one it was, guess I better ditch both then.         Probably for the best!       And sadly, that Fanta is not peach.         It’s mango.      What a nasty trick to pull!

slob, humor, rotten food

All this goodness (note the sarcasm) that I was “shelf”ishly keeping all for myself!     

slob, humor, dehydrated mandarin oranges

I’ve never seen flat mandarin oranges before…

I didn’t even bother recycling those cans.      They just all went to the trash.       I do recycle, but I have my limit!

slob, humor, empty box

The aforementioned empty box. Recycled, of course.

The mac n cheese didn’t look so, so bad, in the first pic, so I had to dump it out some.        Now you can see the true depth of the nastiness!

slob, humor, moldy can o' food

You can see the nastiness of this moldy mac n cheese, even with your eyes closed!

     Yeah, the red stuff is cranberry sauce, from Thanksgiving.       (I’m thinking about just chunking those 3, without even opening them.)       Wise move, I’m sure!

So, that took the whole 15 min.      Pulling it all out, and dumping it.       I’m still dithering about the 3 plastic containers.


But, since a sweet lady at my church just gave me new ones last Sunday, I think I can probably just let them go….


So far 3 hrs 17 min Scullery Time, plus today’s 15, equals:  3 hrs 32 min  

 House Time was 5 hrs 28 min.    Adding today’s 15 , Total House Time: 5 hrs 43 min

Wow, this scaffolding sure needs more support!

Faulty Faucet

That’s not supposed to look like that!!

                                                                                                                Or that:

slob, humor, faulty faucet

It’s definitely not supposed to do that!!      That is the closed position!!       Supposedly!

That looks really bad!!

This is what it’s supposed to look like!       (When it’s off!)

slob, humor faucet   (Without that broken piece in the background, of course!)

Now whattam I gonna do????        Well, I guess you’ll have to fix it!         But I don’t wanna fix it, I wanna replace it!        Well, do that then!            But I don’t wanna do that, until I can get the purple sink installed!         Well, do that then!         But, I can’t, until I get the new cabinet, that fits the sink!        Well, do that then!          But, I can’t until I have some more money!     Remember those pesky credit cards that I ran up last year???         Yeah.           Well, sadly for me, now the piper wants his pay!

Ok, so whatta ya gonna do now then??         I suppose skipping the hand washing after flushing is NOT an option??        That would be a big N O!!            I guess you’ll have to use the hot water then.        And PP will never trust me again, if I tell her use the hot water, and it burns her hands!!        I’ve been telling her for almost 2 years to NOT use the hot!!

So, is washing your hands in the tub an option??        No, not really.       It is W A Y too far to bend down, to wash my hands, every time I go potty!!       Besides, those knobs are ridged, and faulty too, so they leak.     So, when I get them almost closed, after bath time, I don’t wanna mess!      And the ridges hurt my tender, widdle hands.         Awwwww, poor baby!

Well, I don’t know what ta tell ya.     You’ve shot down every suggestion I have.        The only other thing I can say is, Hold it till ya get to SF’s!!

NOPE!!     Not happening either!       What did people do before running water??        You mean how did they wash after coming outta the outhouse??       Yeah, how?        How do I know!!

Ok, ok, back to the drawing board.

Aha!       Hand sanitizer!       It’s not a perfect solution, but I think we can make it work.

slob, humor, green purellThere ya go!         Oh good grief!       Why would you even mention green Purell?????       Do you not know me at ALL????

(grumble, grumble)      Fine!       Picky!             slob, humor, white purell Seriously??      In the whole wide world web, you couldn’t find ANY purple sanitizer??

(grumble, grumble, grumble)           If you don’t like this one, ya can go fetch it yourself!

 

slob, humor, purple sanitizer  What’s not to like??                Groan

Okay, folks, I think we have it figured out now.       Thanks for your patience!          Potty trips may be resumed now!

The faulty faucet is on it’s way out the door, tho!

 

Love Letter

Love Letter to my new  Purple Shower Curtain.

slob, humor, new shower curtain

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

#1 I love you to the depth and breadth and height that the bathroom can reach.

#2 Thy long lovely lavender locks flowing from the ceiling to (almost) the floor delight mine eyes.

#3 They shade me from the harsh light, bathing me in soft wondrous lavender hues, delighting my soul.

slob, humor, soft lavender light

#4 Thy great beaded rings gliding along the bar like graceful beaked swans gliding along the pond, maketh mine ears to rejoice in the sound.

slob, humor, shower rings

#5 Thy plastic shields my floor from being flooded, and keepeth my feet dry.

slob, humor, curtain and rug

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#6 The sheer sight of you fills my heart with pure joy.

#7 I love you with the smiles, and tears of my whole life.

slob, humor, kisses

Oh how I love thee!!

#8 And if God choose, I shall but love thee better after your death.

 


Inspiration, and partial author’s credit to 

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 18061861

 

Smart & Simple

Yeah, that’s the name of the dish soap I bought last week.      This whole HUGE bottle             (50 oz) for only $1!!!       What a bargain!

slob, humor, just what it says

But!!      Is it really smart??         Is it as simple as that??

Since it doesn’t lather up very well, at all, Like, At ALL, it’s very smart for the people who make, and sell it!       They’re selling a “soap” product that is probably only 11% soap, (and that’s being very generous!!), and 89% water!!        They can afford to sell it for $1, since it only has 1 cent of soap in it!

And I’m the simple one, for believing that a huge bottle of dish soap for $1, would work  well!!       

slob, humor, dish soap?

I had to use another squirt for every dish I washed!         Not a good deal.      Not even a fair deal.

I must say, I love the color, tho!!        (Thank goodness for the bottle specifying lavender!   Otherwise, I might have mistaken it for lilac!)

Sadly, purple coloring doth not a good soap make.      Even I, as purple fanatic as I am, can admit that.

slob, humor, "Dawn" fainted

Dawn fell down, and can’t get up.      She is in shock that I cheated on her.    And with such a cheap floozy, too.

Please forgive me, Dawn!       I’ve learned my lesson!      I won’t do it again!    I promise!!

 

(But I am brainstorming ways to have my purple, and real soap too!)