Touted Towels

After reading Cami’s sweet post about folding towels, of course my mind goes on a tangent. You already know my mind doesn’t work like anyone else’s!     And I started writing.     

So, to start off my premise, I had to research the “Right” way to fold towels.   And of course, plenty of people are ready to school me!

Better Homes and Gardens: http://www.bhg.com/homekeeping/laundry-linens/clothes/how-to-fold-a-towel/      Who’s got time for all that smoothing mess??  She looked like she was trying to iron it with her hands!!      Does it not absorb water, if there’s a wrinkle anywhere on it??     Besides, since I’m not a hotel, no one’s paying me to fold my towels!      Moving on.

slob, humor, folded towels

Sure it looks pretty, but does anyone even notice??

The River Club: http://theriverclubtn.com/2016/09/an-easy-checklist-for-organizing-your-bathroom/

slob, humor, folding towels

Eeeeekk!!    Now ya gotta measure your shelf, every time ya fold the towels??      Too much Math!!        No thanks!

Then, of course I can’t leave out Marie Kondo, the new guru on all things folded.

My head hurts already.     I’ve seen a video of her folding stuff.     I just say NO.     (Remember when DD1 Kon-Maried my undie drawer??)       

slob, humor, folded underwear

Won’t ever happen again in my lifetime!!       Anyway, back to towels…

My towels just feel lucky to have a safe, dry place to call home!     They’re not at all fussy about precise placement.      They want to just lounge, and stretch out their legs fibers.

slob, humor, unfolded towels

Well, okay, so their fibers are not stretched out exactly, but they’re balled up in their own chosen position!

In fact, if I started folding them precisely, and lining them up, in straight rows, I think they’d call the the Towel Abuse Hotline, and report me!!      They would NOT enjoy such treatment, and would deem it torture!

No call to take a perfectly relaxed towel, and twist it into a pretzel, just for a human’s sense of pride, and pleasure.     Those towels sure like a lot like pretzels to me.      Whatever!    My point is they are relaxed, not regimented within an inch of their lives!       Towels are people too!       They have feelings!

Linen closets are for stuffing storing the towels, not for visual enjoyment!

Fizzled Filing

slob, humor, filing

Filing system??

This is my filing system, as in- none that you’d notice!

That’s the top drawer, of my 2 drawer filing cabinet, which sits to the right of my computer armoire.   Along with the bookshelf on the left of the computer, it comprises my “office”   Where I do all my important “business.”   Ya know, play solitaire! 😉

slob, humor, solitaire

The game of the only lonelies!

 

This is the bottom drawer:

slob, humor, card filing

Designated card drawer

Filing system, you say??   {arched eyebrows}

Okay, okay, I know it doesn’t resemble a filing system, in any way, except that it’s all piled in a filing cabinet.

That’s where the “fizzled” part comes in.   I try to file, I have a place to file, I even put the papers in the filing spot.   So why does it all go wrong???

WAAAHHHHH!!   I want my mommy to make it all better!!

Here is my designated spot for unpaid bills.

slob, humor, bills

Unpaid bills.

Hey, at least I know where they are!!   Right??   That counts for something, right???

And here’s my shred spot.

slob, humor, shred pile

Under my computer. The burial yard for papers to shred.

And my recycling repository, the pre-taken out recycling, that is.   Hey, I’m busy here!   I’ll take it out later!    

I won’t hold my breath!

slob, humor, recycling

Recycling staging center

 

The fact that I have places for everything, and everything is in its place, must mean I’m organized now, right??   I have a filing system, it just … kinda… fizzled in the final execution.    (Speaking of execution, just shoot me now!!    I try so hard!!)

Nope, no resolution here.  Just the facts, that I know what I’m supposed to do, and I do it.   Sorta, but it’s still so far fizzled, that I’m not sure it can ever be real filing!!

So, the moral of the story is:  Don’t think you have a system, when it still doesn’t work.

So what is it that I have??  

Besides a huge mess??

Yes, besides a huge mess.

Maybe you have the skeleton of a filing system??

Hmmm, well, I do have the proper tools: a filing cabinet, and even some filing folders!!

slob, humor, file folder

Ah, yes it is indeed!! Love having my own castle!

(Even though my castle is not as picture perfect as PP’s!!)

So, what do I do now??   How do I flesh out my fizzled filing skeleton?    {Anybody else feel that skeleton should be an alliterating word here???}

If anyone lives in Fl, and can come help, PLEASE do!!   If you don’t live in Fl, and can help, PLEASE do!!

I’ll give you a nice chocolate chip GF cookie!!   😉

[Okay, I lied.  They are nasty!  Not nice!!   But I won’t really make you eat it!!]

Interns Incidents

The interns, Jessica and Carly did so much!   The incidents of them helping me, were in no particular order:

Carly cleaned the air purifier filters.

slob, humor, cleaning

Great job, Carly!! Thanks!

And de-cluttered under the micro cabinet.

Jessica purged the shelves above the micro.

They swept and swiffered kitchen/ dining/living rooms.   They’re all really just one big room.   I like to name them separately, just to pretend I have a bigger house than I do!

Jessica folded clothes, then cleaned the couch cushions.   I didn’t even know that could be done!    Lol

slob, humor, cleaning

Pulling out the cushions to clean them. Yes, PP thinks the couch is the perfect storage for her art studio, apparently!

 

Both girls totally did our church proud!   Thank you Pastors Keith Conley, and Rob Morrow, from Harvest Assembly of God, for sending them over to help me!

church_exterior

Harvest Assembly in Lakeland, Fl.     Come visit us!

Interred Interns

No way!   Melinda!   I’m shocked!!

WHAT??   What is it??   What’s wrong??

You buried some interns??

Yep, plumb up to their necks, in fact!

Girl!!   I knew you were a killer, but!!   People now???   Not just animals???    The cat, the elephant, and the cow were all bad enough!!    When did you get the urge to kill people??

Wait, WHAT?????    Kill WHAT people???   I didn’t kill any people!

But, but, but, you just said you buried the interns up to their necks!!

In SLOBBERY!!!!   Not DIRT, well, not dirt in the ground so they’ll die, dirt!

slob, humor, dirt

They were buried, alrightey!  Just not 6 ft under!

Not the 6-feet-under kind of buried in dirt!

teeny, tiny voice    Oh.   Okay.   Well, good, then.

Don’t you have something else to say??

Um, yeah.   I’m so glad you didn’t kill them!!

exasperated   Anything ELSE??

Oh yeah, um, I’m sorry I thought you killed them.

Thank you.

Okay, now that we got THAT straight, maybe I proceed, please?

still in a teeny, tiny voice      Yes, please do.

Well, my church sent one of their interns, Jessica, to help me clean my house.    Since my leg has been acting up, and with the kwilt crunch,  housework just hasn’t been a priority.  

ahem

Okay, well, even less of a priority than ever!

So, Jessica came the first week, and did a bang-up job on the bathroom!   It hasn’t sparkled like that, since I paid Nicole to clean it back in Dec!!   And swept the hall.

The only before I took.

slob, humor, dirty floor

Right at beginning of hall, in front of fridge. And I promise, this one isn’t a mouse!

After:

slob, humor, clean floor

Beautiful bare floor!! Cute toes, and nightgown hem, Melinda. Really, must your toes photobomb EVERY pix??

 

But, she works 2 paying jobs, plus interning at the church, so she has really limited time, as you can imagine.   So, this week, she brought Carly with her.

They cleaned and organized the kitchen.   Emptied 2 cabinets, and donated stuff!   YAY!    More clutter outta here!!

slob, humor, intern, decluttering

Jessica decluttering glasses, which were bequeathed to me with this trailer.

That Jessica is a no-nonsense get it done whirlwind!!   I love her!!!   I want to adopt her!!

Carly even unpacked my newest Joy.   {Thanks, Sis!!}

slob, humor, intern, Joy

Carly’s apparently a little camera shy.

slob, humor, mantel , Joy

Finally, Joy on my mantel! (The erstwhile holiday shelf.)

 

They did so much more!   I could go on and on all day.   But, I won’t.   cheers from the crowd   At least not today.   equally loud groans

 

But rest assured, I’ll be back, with the rest of the story.

Party Time!!

 

 

 

 

 

Timed Tidy Two

Okay, so I started with Timed Tidy.     And I told you the rest of the story would come later.    So, here it is: part two.

I started at 12:59 pm, Saturday afternoon.   I washed a drainer full of dishes.

clean dishes drainer humor

Ta-da!

 

(Well, okay, not exactly a drainer full of dishes……)

 

 

 Cleaned out some containers for recycling.   Took a potty break (hey, I’ve had 2 kids, if you’re a mother, ya know what I’m talking about, amiright??)    De-cluttered the counter top, by dumping out some nasty drink, from the Valentine’s party.  

moldy drink humor

EEWW!! Care for a beverage, anyone?? No?

 

 

 Put away stuff where it belongs.    Yes, some stuff DOES actually have homes!   Shock, shock!

 

It only took me 23 minutes, including taking the pix.    Now, really, 23 minutes is not long.    So why does it take you so long to do it, huh, PurpleSlob????

Oh yeah! And I cleaned the stove too!     Okay, Okay, I wiped the stove TOP.    Confession is good for the soul.

But, you guessed it, I’m still not done!    So, look for Third Timed Tidy any day now.    Just please, don’t hold your breath!!

Japanese Jottings

Have you read that Japanese book about tidying up??   I haven’t, and I feel like I don’t need to, due to the hundreds thousands (feels like anyway) of posts I’ve read on the subject.

Some people are really gung ho.   Others are more skeptical, but willing to try it.    Others pick and choose parts to apply to their lives.

I joked about DD1 “Konmari-ing” me without my permission.   But all she did was fold the clothes in those overly fussy {in my humble opinion} little shapes.   Ain’t nobody got time for that!!

20151202_184821

 

That said, some of her principles intrigue me.   The one where if the item doesn’t spark joy, get rid of it.   I do have 1 piece of clothing that doesn’t spark joy, so I’m thinking it might need to go.

getting rid of snap front housedress

Buh-bye, snappy house dress!

 

 

However,  I will NOT be holding it in my hand, and thanking it for its service!     I don’t believe inanimate objects have spirits, or the need for appreciation.    That part is very hinky to me.

I do know once you tidied up, you will have more energy, and less depression, because I have experienced that for myself.

But, none of her clients have EVER had to re-tidy???   Somehow, I don’t quite believe that.   So, maybe she never worked with any parents????    Or people on the hoarding scale???  Or people who are overwhelmed???    Anyway, that’s just my opinion, that part might not be entirely true.   Or, maybe she has only been working less than 5 years???    I don’t know.

So, while I won’t be using her methods, I do agree that tidying up is very good for you!   And we should all try it!

Just my thought on the jottings of that Japanese lady.

Murdered Mouse

Did you know mice can turn themselves off????     I didn’t either!!    Till yesterday, when mine quit working.    And, of course, since trouble shooting is not one of my strong points, I was baffled.   Maybe it was murdered???     I turned off the computer, and rebooted it.   Since I finally learned that cures a lot of ills!!!

But, the digital mouse still wasn’t working.  So, I tried to see if the plug was loose.    Duh, it’s wireless- no wires!    Duh-oh!     So, I sat there for awhile staring at it.    (Well, that works sometimes!    No, I don’t have to prove it….)     Considered crying…..    Decided to not let a tiny thing like a dead mouse defeat me!    After all, I’m bigger!    And hopefully smarter!!  

So, I turned it over, and noticed the green light was out.   So, I says to myself, “Self, when the green light isn’t on, that means it’s off.    What could make it turn itself off???????”   So, I did like any normal person, and turned it back on!    Aha! Success!

mouse with the light on

The light is on! YAY!!

 

That worked !!    For, like 2 seconds.    Drats!!     Now what???     Then came the real brain strain-  if something isn’t plugged up- how does it run???

And the lights came on!!

purple light bulbs twinkling

The lights in my attic came on!

 

Batteries!!

 

And, I knew right where to go to find some!!!    YAY for organized!!!    (well, at least the batteries are organized, anyway!)

batteries in drawer

Junk drawer no more!

 

 

So, I figured out all by myself how to open the batteries package.   Have you ever tried opening plastic packs???    Thank goodness for the cardboard backing!!     Then, onto getting the back of the mouse off.    I can do it myself!    says every toddler everywhere….   (Am I in my second childhood ALREADY??)

So, now the light really came on!!   And more important STAYED on!!!

 

 

 

Hey, this being independent stuff ain’t so hard!    I got this!!

(till a real live dead mouse shows up!!)

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