Giddy Googling

May 4, 2016   8:45 pm

I googled “slob” just now, and found my blog mentioned by Purfylle!!!   I couldn’t believe my eyes!!

On the first page of results!!!!

Here’s proof!

 

PurpleSlob
Jane Jacobs’ 100th Birthday
About 5,820,000 results (0.37 seconds)
 Search Results
slob, humor, sick

Melinda, the red nosed dear

Whoops!  Wrong face!!

Muerto Mouse

Uh, guys?   Remember when I said I’d be okay, unless I saw a real live dead mouse??   I think I just have…

slob, humor, dead mouse

Muerto mouse?? 

 

Obviously, he died from eating so much he burst.   Mama always told me that would happen and I never believed her.

Lesson learned:  The Mama is always right!!

OR: maybe he died of fright from all the mess???    Naaaah, that can’t be it!   Where did the saying “rat’s nest” come from, if they’re scared of a little lotta dirt??

 

What do you think???

On second thought, does it look more like bitty baby bunny bones???

slob, humor, dead mouse or baby bunny bones

Muerto mouse?? or bitty baby bunny bones???

 

I know, I know, the whole hall corner right there is filthy, and needs a clean sweep.   Didja miss the “Slob” part of my name???

 

Oh my word, quit nagging, will ya??  

“What??  I didn’t say a word!”

I can hear ya nagging, by your look.

“Whatever  

eye roll

 

 

Fine….. (or not).

I’ll do it.     Sheesh.

slob, humor, swept hall

Animal free zone!!   Yes, uh huh, I did too sweep! Twice!  Can I help it if the dust is so old, it’s melded into the wood??   (Well, yeah, I guess technically, I could have helped it….)

 

 

RIP, poor mouse, or bunny, or whatever you are were.  { Just don’t expect a memorial, ain’t happenin.}

Petered-out Purse

My sweet Sis, Michelle, gave me back the infamous Coach purse, when mine from AuntSherry  petered-out, back in November.

slob, humor, purse

Gorgeous!!

I love this purse.   Not because it’s a Coach, I don’t care about that, but it’s the perfect size, and shape, and color!!

slob, humor, purse

A REAL Coach purse! (Big deal!)

 

And now, dun Dun DUN: it’s petered-out too!    Poor petered-out purse!!   A moment of silence please.

I ignored the stains inside.

slob, humor, purse

Yuck! Now you know my secret shame. I’m a slob. (World’s worst kept secret, I know.)

I ignored the corners that were worn off.

slob, humor, purse

cut and dried corner- needs to go

 

But, I can’t ignore the zipper breaking!    No!   I really can’t take it anymore!!         Even though I still kept on using it while the threads frayed more, and more, and more….   But when you can no longer ZIP the zipper??     It’s time to say buh-bye.    As hard as it may be, and it’s really hard!!     I have to “p word” it.    I don’t wanna say the word in front of it.    I would hurt its feelings.   Oh, okay, I’ll spell it then.   P-u-r-g-e.   There, ya happy now?    Good thing it can’t read!!

 

slob, humor, purse

See my finger sticking thru there?? Yeah, not so much working any more.

 

So, I had to make up my mind to throw it awayget rid of it , let it goooooo.     That was really hard for me!   It’s been a good friend, and general carry-all for both of us, for years!

Now, where do I dispose of the body??    It’s certainly not trash!   But, if even I won’t use it, then it can’t be donated!!   Maybe recycling??   Or, do I cremate it, and carry its ashes to spread around the outside of the Coach store in Orlando???   Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Memorial: Melinda’s & Michelle’s mauve money-bag.

Third Timed Tidy

Third time does it!   Worked out that way this time!!   FINALLY got the ding dong kitchen cleaned up!   (For the 95th time.)

I might as well just admit it, being a slob is my life style.     What???    Melinda, we’re shocked!    NOT!!

It’s my worst nightmare.    Dirty dishes, again!!    And they multiply in the dark, just like hangers!    And single socks!

Anyway, here is the (beginning of the) end result of the THIRD Timed Tidy:

clean dishes humor

Love to see those gleaming clean dishes!

{Isn’t that funny- I hate them when they’re 18 inches to the right, but as soon as they’re clean, I love them again!!     Am I a bad dish mommy???)

 

Then, I put this in the sink to wash.

cheap tray humor

Why, oh why am I keeping this???

 

And why??   It cost $1, and has been sitting here dirty, adding to my dirty-dish-need-to- clean-it-up low level anxiety since Feb. 20!!    And why??     It’s cracked!    And it costs a DOLLAR!!

So, I paused to think, for a nano second, and made an executive decision.   Buh-bye tray, you have overstayed your welcome!!

tray trashed humor

In the can you go. Good riddance!

 

humor, clean kitchen counter at last

AAHH! A clean counter at last!

 

How beautiful is that!    A clean counter!!

So, have we learned our lesson, Purplelinda??     How are we gonna keep the kitchen spotless like this in the future?

Ummm, eat out all the time??   Never eat again period???      Become a pod person??    Use paper plates, and plastic forks??   {Claremary is really lobbying hard for this one.}

We’ll see if I’ve learned my lesson, and always keep the kitchen clean, from this day forward.   {Spoiler alert:   I doubt it!}

Probable Printables

According to my BBFF (best blogging friend forever) Janice, I’m supposed to offer more value with a subscription.  Maybe a printable, perhaps?

But, I’m having a hard time deciding on what to offer.   A heartfelt plea to not make your family live like this anymore, please dear God?    

How to become a slob in 7 easy steps???

how to become a slob in 7 easy steps

I really don’t imagine there’s anyone who needs help doing that.  

 

How to start a blog?   I’m sure somebody else already covered that one.    

How to lose your health?    Probably not too many interested in this topic!!

How to become a clumsy person who falls in the shower?  

clumsy woman falls

She’s not in the shower, but I’m sparing you that visual!

 

Ah, I know!    6 easy ways to have handsome firemen show up at your door!!

cute guy alert

 

 Lots of value there!    No one has to ever be lonely anymore!!

Okay, now is where I’d insert a quiz, asking what you’d like see as a printable.   Except with the “new” WordPress editing experience, I can’t figure out where they hid the quiz makers.  (But I did figure out how to make the first meme up there!    So proud of myself!    Probably inordinately proud, but whatever!)

If there is something you’d like to see me make available as a printable, well then, tell me all about it!!

Doing Dishes Daily

Huh, doing dishes daily is a real thing!   Who knew???   (Well for starters, Granny, Mama, Kristen C., Nicole….. and every other cleanie in the world.)   And I must confess, deep in my slobbiest of hearts, I knew it too. 

broken heart

 

(Does this look like the slobbiest of hearts?????)

 

 I just spent the last 4 decades pretending I didn’t.   My Mama raised me right, I just chose to let my slob side over rule my training.    Now, I’m shaking my head at myself.   How many, many, MANY hours of forced torture did I put myself and my family through, to panic clean before a party, company, etc????   So many that it was probably literally YEARS of our lives.

purple surprised face

courtesy of pixaby.   Thanks Judy for letting me steal him!

 

Sometimes, it wasn’t a conscious choice, due to my thyroid and depression issues.    But, to be truthful, other times, it WAS a deliberate choice, cuz I just didn’t feel like it.    But, guess what?   Grown ups have to do what’s needed, whether they want to or not.   (Which I also really knew deep down, but pretended I didn’t.   It’s so exhausting to keep denying reality!!)    Now, I’m finally on the path to applying that (consistently) to my home.

So, back to doing the dishes daily.   Everyone *cough*Mama*cough, told me it’s so much easier if ya just go ahead and DO them!!!   And, when I did, I discovered, BY Golly, they’re right!!!    Doncha just hate when that happens????   ME too.

So, today, after I ate breakfast, I put my dishes in the sink.  

dirty dishes in sink

Not today’s dishes. I’m totally recycling this pic from January.    Shhhhhhhh!

 

 

And STARTED to walk away. Then, I paused and thought “DIN DIN, (do it now) you’ll be glad later.”   So, I did.   Later today, when I go to eat lunch, I’m gonna see my empty sink, and smile.   Yes, indeed, I’ll be glad I did the dishes this day.

Regretful Repeat

Okay, since I accidentally posted TWO posts yesterday, today, you only get this:

 

 

 

 

under new management

haha! Just kidding!  You get the same old slob- ME!!

Okay, back to today’s semi-post.

 

Regretfully, I posted twice yesterday.  It was an accident.  So, please go back and reread:

FB Fiend, and/or Nony Need.   I repeat, I regret the error.   

Thank you for your continuing patronage.

                              “The Management.”

Reminiscing Rememberances

When a friend , Kristen, started a homemaking blog, TheRoadtoDomestication, I was excited for her!  She just got married, so yay! We can learn things together.  But she’s a natural born “cleanie” and organizer, and I AM NOT.  It frustrated me that things that were simple for her made no sense to me, and I tried, but just COULDN’T do them.  So, while I was happy for her, I was still depressed for me.

depressed woman

L0026686 A woman diagnosed as suffering from melancholia. Colour lith Credit: Wellcome Library, London. Wellcome Images images@wellcome.ac.uk http://wellcomeimages.org A woman diagnosed as suffering from melancholia. Colour lithograph, 1892, after J. Williamson, 1890. 1890-1892 By: J. Williamsonafter: Byrom BramwellPublished: [1892] Copyrighted work available under Creative Commons Attribution only licence CC BY 4.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

Then I heard about FLYLady.  She has flybabies, well then maybe I can do that!  But, her first thing was to get up, shower and dress all the way down to shoes, and makeup.  I didn’t have any makeup, and only wore shoes outside!  So, before we even started, I was already a loser!  Than made me super upset and frustrated.

Then I finally had the bright idea to Google slob, (best thing I ever did for my home!!) and found NONY from the SlobComesClean, and the angels sang! She gets me!!  She’s just like me!!  I had found my tribe!!

I started reading her, then a month later, decided to start my own blog, (this very one!) to document my own journey out of slobbery.

Lots of things have happened between now and then.  DD1 and PP have moved out, DD1 and SIL have gotten married, now with PPJr on the way!!

I have moved twice!!!

my first place all on my own

My Very First Place, All on my Own!

 

DH and I separated, and now on the way to being divorced.

I have learned how to de-clutter!!  I have learned to do dishes!!! (before they mildew even!!)

I’ve broken my back, (can’t find the right post for some reason, oh well, back to my sentence) gotten back on track with health, gone GF, gone back on that, and gone back to GF!!

Whew! That’s a lot of switchbacks!

I’ve organized!  (With help, of course.)

I’ve lost a brother-in-law.  This one is the worst.  Death is horrible, the effects last as long as you live.  The only consolation we have , is that we will see him again in heaven.  So, cherish all your loved ones.  Kiss and hug, and say “I love you” everyday.  You never know when it will be your last chance.

So, here we are, today, January 25, 2016.   A year and a half later, I’m still slogging, cleaning, de-cluttering, and learning.   And I love my life!   Thanks everyone for coming along with me!!  I appreciate y’all so much for taking your time out of your busy life, to read what I have to say, and comment.  Y’all are the best!!  Hugs and kisses to all!

I love my readers

I love you, my readers!!

{I can NOT believe I didn’t say PURPLE one time in this WHOLE post!  I had to remedy that real quick like!}

Quickly Quietly Quilting

Update:  This is what the baby quilt looked like Monday evening at 9:38 pm.  (That’s when my bobbin ran out.  My arms were already yelling “Uncle”!!)  The top 4 rows are completed, and was attaching the fifth…

This is definitely a challenge: racing against the clock!!

baby quilt in progress

Starting to actually look like a quilt!

Uh, please overlook the mess in the background, as usual, I didn’t see it till now.  Don’t worry, fans, plenty of slobbery to go around!  The fount of post material is not in any danger of running dry!!

Just in case you have forgotten, or don’t know, this is the bobbin:

making bobbinThe teeny one on the right.

So, back to the sweatshop, uh, I mean the air conditioned factory of joy!!

Fridges Fresher

Sit down.  I mean it. SIT DOWN!!

Within 1 week I cleaned out 2 fridges!

Can you believe it??

And neither one was mine!

You can imagine why I did Sis.  With all the food people brought in, we ran outta space, and had to do something.  While I was in there getting rid of the oldest food, I just thought, “Well, why not.”  So, I took out everything, and got to work with a bowl of soapy water, and a rag.  Then Mama got involved, and suddenly we were taking out all the drawers too!  Whoa!!  Way more than I was planning, but….. with a Mama around, ya can’t get by with half-doing a job!!

No befores: forbidden by Sis.  I can’t blame her.  Outting myself as a slob becomes a whole nother thing, than showing others’ messes!

bowl soapy waterlike how I stick my toes into stuff??  (PIX!!  Not stuff!  Well… except those peas, that 1 time….)

Bottom shelf: done!

really fresh fruit

Fresh fruit: You wouldn’t believe what those grapes said to me!!!

2nd shelf cleanSecond shelf neatly done!  No, I’m not gonna show you all bajillion shelves!  You can thank me now.

It looked really good when  I we were done!

The other shocker was, since we had to pull out the fridge from the counter, to get out the shelves, I went ahead and scrubbed the floor under too!  I know!  Why didn’t anybody realize I had a fever,and rush me to the ER????

clean tile floor

That was on a Wed.  Then the next Tuesday, DD1 called and said , “Mama! I need you!  I’m on my lunch break, and need help getting the food back in the fridge!”

Ok, so I ran right over there, thinking, “Now, I know she’s pregnant, but she can’t put the food back in the fridge herself????”  They had just moved the night before, so I knew she had stuff to do.

When I got there, I saw the problem immediately.  Her fridge door opened the wrong way for the new place.  I had to literally open the back door, go out on the step, then open the fridge, and come back inside, inside the fridge!  It was hilarious!  Except, it’s not gonna be for her, when she has to deal with it every day!!

Anyway, you can probably guess….  “Since I’m already back here, gimme some soapy water, and a rag.”

hand in soapy water

Giant man hand in soapy water.

(No pix exist period.  Once I was back there, and asked for the phone, she refused.  So, I was kinda stuck!!  Oh, well, I can have her notarize a letter, if you need proof.)

So, I cleaned my second fridge within a 7 day space.  My mama about fainted when I told her.  She asked, with a tremble in her voice, “Did you do yours too?”  Well, now that just woulda been crazy talk!!   Whaddya think I am? A Cleanie or something???

(Actually, I was so surprised at MYSELF that I VOLUNTEERED BOTH times!!!!)  Maybe a spot of Cleanie IS rubbing off on me!   I guess weirder things have happened!!!

IF I did Halloween, that would be my costume this year, half Purpleslob, half Cleanie! Scary!)