Torrid Tile Tale

There was a torrid love affair between a ceiling tile, Tina, and a door, Donny.

Tina the Tile

Donny the door

They were inexplicably drawn together.    Even though, Donny was too tall for her, and  every time he opened, he dug a deeper hole in her skin.     

“You hurt me”, Tina cries.     “It’s physical agony when you come to me, and emotional when you leave me.    But I want you to stay,  just because I love you so much.”

Donny apologizes.       Then says “Bye for now my love.   I must go.”          

“Come back!”  Tina begs.          “I will, but gotta go, now” soothes Donny.

“I need answers!” Tina cries.     “Do you love me or her?”      

Donny is torn between 2 lovers.

Francie the frame

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The jealous door frame, Francie, tells Tina, “Huh- you think he’s yours?  Well, he ALWAYS comes back to me.”

Tina was frantic, and lovesick.       Her big brothers, Tommy, Tony, Timmy, and Tammy (Don’t you dare make fun of his name!!), decided to take matters in their own hands.   They visited Donny, and had a heart-to-heart.       By the time they had cut him down to size, he agreed to leave Tina alone, and never touch her again.

Tina was furious at the “T”s.      But she knew in her heart, they only did the best thing for her.     No one should ever put up with abuse, under the guise of love.

She pitied Francie, who learned one day to her sorrow, that Donny was not all that.       But by the time she learned the truth, she had had every board in her broken, and was left with 3 little door jambs to support, all by herself.

The 3 fatherless little door frames.

 

 

Moral of the story; Make the doors keep their splinters to themselves!

dreaded doorbell deadline

Yesterday, (many yesterdays ago, now) I got a phone call.

(By candlelight, apparently)

“I’m coming over, be there in an  hour.”

So, I’m guessing each one is 15 minutes??

Panic! Only 1 hour get ready!!

Exact replica of my expression!

First time visitor! I want to make a good impression!  I haven’t seen her in over 2 yrs!

Nony calls it F.O.U.D.  Fear of unexpected doorbell.  Perfect description, and diagnosis!

Took a quick shower.

(No pix exist of this.  You’re welcome.)

Dishes-10 min or less.

5 min pick up was all I needed!  Had time to sit down for lunch.

Whew! So relieved in such good shape since blog.

Left floor- oh well. Visitable not perfect!

Relaxed and enjoyed visit.

But then she wanted to go in bedroom!

Nooooooo!!!!

Sigh. Oh well at least I made a good first impression!

Comment Chaos

Lately EVERYONE has been talking about how to manage your emails, and blogs.

Sharon from HowtoGetOrganizedatHome.

Janice from MostlyBlogging.

Ralph from BlueFishWay.  (Here is the guest post he wrote for Janice, explaining how he deals with the pressure.)

Hugh from HughsNewsandViews.

I was getting an email everytime someone commented on a post. Necessary, ok.  (But, was it really??? Everytime I log on to WP, if the bell has a circle on it, I have comments.

 So, hmmm  maybe I can cancel those emails too???  Double notifications are a time waster… So, yeah!  I’m gonna cut out those emails too!  Yay!  More digital de-cluttering! 

I was getting double emails from several sites when a new post went up. ARGH!  Too much!

I was getting an email everytime someone I was following posted.  Too much!  Not necessary, ditched those.  They are in my reader, and can be accessed that way.

AND, I was getting an email everytime someone LIKED my post, or a COMMENT on a post!!! AAAAAHHHHH!

(Talk about  overload! )

My eyes were burning from all the reading of emails!  My finger was cramping from all the clicking to delete.

Enough already!!

Something had to change!!

Well, duh!  Turn off the LIKE email notifications!!  Tonight, this morning, whatever,  I finally played around in the dashboard long enough to figure out how to turn off the “Like” emails.  Thank goodness!  Hopefully, some of my sanity will be restored. What little there is left of it!

(and maybe only 50 emails a day, instead of 1,000???  Please!!!!)

Look!  I got thru my whole inbox, and only 3 left!

 (2 are books I need to read, so they don’t really count, and I already deleted the OneDrive one.)  What an accomplishment!

AND, I just winnowed down my following list to only 57.  I don’t have to feel guilty about not following someone, just because they follow me, right, Hugh??  I just took a very big, relieved breath.  Maybe the insanity (of my inbox, anyway) has been banished.  My real sanity will always be in question!

Tipped Toe

This is why you have to clean and organize your house:

Poor bruised, battered, broken toe

It hurt like everything.  I was in agony, agony, AGONY I tell you!!  I think it’s broke.

Call 911!!  I need an ambulance!  Oh, wait, who am I yelling to????  There’s no one else here.  Hmmmmm, think!  What to do???  It’s so hard to think when you’re in AGONY!

I know!  I’ll lay on the floor, and simply expire from the pain.  And when someone comes looking for me, they’ll find my cold, broken body, stretched out on the floor, in a position of supplication…  pleading for help, and non came.   Ha, ha!  That’ll teach ’em a lesson!  Oh, wait!  Teach who a lesson????  I’ll be dead.  Okay, not the best plan....

I decided to fall onto the bed, clutching my foot, howling in agony.  Did I mention I was in AGONY???

Once I recovered sufficiently, to be able to arise: I photographed the scene.

Here is a mug shot of the dastardly fiend, who’s responsible:

murderous fiend

How dare you be in MY way??  Well, what do you have to say for yourself??  Speak up!

Great, cat’s got it’s tongue.

I wrote an account of the tragic events, and gathered the evidence.

Can I sue the chair?  (I’m sure I’d win!)

Update:  Poor toe is getting better..  Still sulking about not winning the suit for a million dollars, against the chair, but healing nevertheless.

The Kitchen Sink

The kitchen sink is terrifying to me.  I mean, there’s that big gaping hole,

Dun dun duh- the SINK

where stuff falls in, and never returns.  And it sounds like a monster is eating it.  And it always stinks over there.  Dishes go there to die, and are never seen again.

The belly of the beast is even more terrifying than its mouth.

From all the growling noises emanating from under there, it must a HUGE beast.  It’s dark under there, and damp, and musty.

I opened the door, and jumped back real quick-( you know that’s a lie.)

The other side of the dragon’s den.

Question- how did it know that I was going to open the door?  Where does it hide??

What if I reach in there, and something grabs me!  I’ll die of a heart attack!  But, some compensation will be, no one will have to pay for a funeral.  The beast will just eat my flesh and bones, and burp up my metal knee.  Hope I give him indigestion!

Seriously, how often do you beard the dragon in its den??

Aha!  See?? You are scared too, and just don’t wanna admit it!

Nothing under there is worth my life.  I’ll just wait till Sweet friend, or Brother are around.  Then I’ll ask them to get it for me!  Sounds like a plan!

So Slobby Sewing Space

(Drats!  Couldn’t think of an alliterative title today.  Oh, the agony!  Guess I’m losing my touch.  sigh  { This was when I titled it Crafty Sewing Room.  Thank goodness I kept thinking!})

Comes from being old, plus losing half my mind over the years.  I did have 2 kids, you know. ( Someone told me insanity is inheirited, you get it from your kids!)

 

My Fabric Stash

Long, long ago, this was my dining room, (before Nov. Yes, 6 months is a long time to me!  Every day’s a new day, when you’re insane.)  Now, it’s my craft/ sewing room. Not that much of either is being done in there right now.  Can you imagine if I tried to go in there with my walker?  I’d break more bones than just my back!

So annoying.  I know I certainly can’t be responsible for all that chaos!  Why, I haven’t even been in there since Feb. 22.  So, I know I didn’t do it.

And, no, my fabric stash is NOT hoarding!  How dare you!!  I will use it all!  (Someday, in the future, before I die, provided I live to be a very old lady.)

Well, maybe I could organize it a little.  Just so it doesn’t become Hoarding Buried Alive, and strangle me in the night.

Some of those fabrics get very cranky when they feel under-appreciated.

the “c” word

Yes I did the “C” word. It’s so awful I don’t even want to tell you what it is.

Oh ok. Cook. Happy now?

I was hungry. No more cereal or instant oatmeal. No frozen waffles etc. What was I to do?  I had to make a decision to get over myself, my laziness, and be a grown up.  It was agony.

How stupid would it be if Brother or Sweet friend came over, and found me dead from starvation, 3 feet away from a kitchen full of food??  Even if it WAS raw food that needed to be cooked??

So… here’s proof:

The pictures cannot lie.  I cooked, in real life!

Good thing I’m into all this homemaking stuff.

I knew where everything was!  AND how to turn on the stove!  And I didn’t set off the fire alarm!!

(I was barefoot, and in the kitchen, but….. haha, you won’t catch me the 3rd thing!!)

All in all, I call it a success.

Good Friday?

Today is the day we traditionally observe/celebrate Jesus’ Crucifixion.

Jesus died for our sins.  He was in agony, but He did it for us, because He loved us so much.

“Jesus cried with a loud voice, and gave up the ghost.” Mark 15:37

Then He rose again 3 days and 3 nights later (that’s why I say traditionally celebrate.)

“Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week….”

Mark 16:9 a

Please accept the gift of His salvation today.

It’s as easy as A, B, C.

Accept that you are a sinner.

“As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one.”

Romans 3:10

Believe on Jesus as your Savior.

“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Romans 6:23

Confess that Jesus is Lord.

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

Romans 10:9

Follow these steps, and see you in heaven.

Let’s All Hit the Floor

Well, my plans changed rapidly Thursday night.  One minute I was in the shower, getting ready to go meet a girlfriend for a long awaited GNO, and the next, I was on the floor crying.

Yup, hit the floor, just that quick.  Yelling, crying, moaning, I was doing it all.

Hurting, and feeling like a dummy.  How many 53 yo women can get out of the shower all by themselves, without falling down?? Apparently, all of them but me.

Then, DH and DD1 were there, asking  me questions.

(Yes, my real husband. No, he wasn’t smiling during the event itself.)

Can you get up?  Ummm, that would be negatory.  Are you conscious?  I’m conscious of how stupid I am, so yeah.

Then, 911.  8 paramedics, EMTs, and firemen.  (No, not 8 of each, 8 altogether.)

I know, quite a lovely butt shot.

 

All trying to figure out how to pick me up when my body was in the tiny bathroom, and my head was in the bedroom.  Once they moved the bed, they worked it out.  Back board, head brace, and me in all my glory.  Did I mention there were 8 men????  Thankfully, DD1 brought a sheet, so they covered me before taking me out the door.  Thank God for small favors!!

050103-N-9951E-171 Aceh, Sumatra, Indonesia (Jan. 3, 2005) – Lt. Lisa Peterson, of Derwood, Md., center, Lt. Mark Banks, of Savannah, Ga., and two Indonesian Army personnel carry a patient on a stretcher flown-in by a U.S. Navy helicopter to a temporary triage site in Aceh, Sumatra. Medical teams from USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN 72), Carrier Air Wing Two (CVW-2) and the International Organization for Migration (IOM) set-up a triage site located on Sultan Iskandar Muda Air Force Base, in Banda Aceh, Sumatra. The two teams worked together with members of the Australian Air Force to provide initial medical care to victims of the Tsunami-stricken coastal regions. The Abraham Lincoln Carrier Strike Group is currently operating in the Indian Ocean off the waters of Indonesia and Thailand. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate 2nd Class Elizabeth A. Edwards (RELEASED)

(You’re welcome for sparing you the ACTUAL visual.)

 

 

Made them stop so I could tell PP bye.  She was so worried, bless her heart.

Ambulance, about 90 speed bumps, it seemed.  ER. Finally a pain pill!!

Xrays, CT scans, another pain pill.

Yes, they xrayed more than just my hands!

 

 

 

Nothing broken??  Are you sure, Doctor?? Cause I feel like I’m dying.

Gave me a script for pain pills, recommended ice, and Ibuprofen.  Put me in a wheelchair and sent me home.

080628-N-9689V-001 NHA TRANG, Vietnam (June 28, 2008) Lt. Todd Hlavac, a staff nurse assigned to the Military Sealift Command hospital ship USNS Mercy (T-AH 19), assists a Vietnamese patients to his wheelchair aboard Mercy before being discharged to a local hospital. U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Joshua Valcarcel (Released)

 

Obviously, not me, since I don’t have black hair.   😉

 

When I got home, had to use my own walker from car to apartment.  Good thing I kept it.

Never did make it to GNO.

Next time I take a shower, maybe I need to be hooked up to a safety line.