Close Encounter of the Closet Kind

It hit me outta nowhere!  BAM!  Right smack on the top of the head!  All I was trying to do was open my closet!  I didn’t deserve such a vicious attack!

20150909_182728

(Oh, did you notice the door wasn’t attached?  This is a re-enactment, since my resident photographer was on break at the time of the actual attack.)

Well!  {huffy tone}  I don’t have to put up with this!  I decided to teach that door a lesson, but good!!

You’re going down, bud, cuz I got on my sassy pants!

sassy

 

Wait, how do I teach a door a lesson on manners, when I’m not physically strong??    Wait for it………

 

 

 

I am very extremely strong in the weight dept!!

slob, humor, woman de"feets" door

Stay down, and take it like a man!

Woman de”Feets” door!

Ahaha!  Who’s your mama now???

slob, humor, good closet door

The closet door learned its lesson.

And never hit her on the head again.      The End.

 

{Another post that’s been stagnating for about 18 months, give or take 60 days.}

 

Hungry, Hungry Hamper

(Did you notice I referenced the kid’s game, “Hungry, Hungry Hippo”?  I thought it was clever.  Was it just me??)

Here’s what the corner of my bathroom, by the tub looked like before:

20150331_072933

Now, I own a hamper.  And it does have dirty clothes in it.  So, why wasn’t it there, where I actually put my dirty clothes?? HMMM, let me think….

Okay, I can’t think of a good excuse.

Wait, I know!  I hadn’t read about creating systems that work in your home.  

Everyone knows you’re supposed to get organized, right?  And everyone has probably read at LEAST 1 book on the subject.  (Lord knows, I have, 12 or twenty, maybe??)

BUT, if you try to do all these things, but your family doesn’t work that way, you will be doomed to fail.  Then, you’ll feel like a failure.  Instead of realizing it’s not you, it’s that system that failed.

Just like almost everything in life, you have to find what works for you.  Having my dirty clothes hamper in the bedroom, or by the laundry closet didn’t work for me.

I needed it right where I take off my clothes, in the bathroom.  Obviously, I had a well established habit, of throwing my dirty clothes down in the corner.  So….

20150403_111709after I cleaned them all up, and washed those,

1430146016677I put the hamper where the huge pile of clothes was.  Voila!  My dirty clothes are contained where they belong!  And, I don’t have to learn a new habit.  I just adjusted the system to what works for me!

YAY! I can do what any 2 year old can do!  Look, Mommy! I put my dirty clothes away myself!!

Laundry Litter

Here’s my laundry room closet.  I think it’s not half bad, for a slob.  Believe you me, it could look lots worse.  And it has!  But haha, no before pix so you can’t prove it!  (Raspberry) 20150403_11155520150403_11154720150410_140422   At least the top of the washer is cleared off.  Gotta give me some credit for that! I know, I know.  It would only take a few minutes to clean it all up, nice and neat.  But if you’ve been here before, then you know I should have named this blog “Procrastinating Purple Slob in Recovery”.  Is it too late to add that in there? Maybe tomorrow???20150410_141538    Hey!  Would you just looka there .  I did it!  Hurray!  There just might be hope for me yet!

Horsey Hallway

"Longing"

“Longing”

This beautiful original oil painting is hanging in my long hallway.  Brother hung it up when he moved in, under the hallway light, so it would be showcased.  Mama painted it from memory, of a pencil drawing Brother did when he was in school.  (We will skip over how many years ago that was!  You’re welcome.)

It’s titled “Longing”.  In person, you can actually see the longing in the horse’s eyes, and expression, for freedom.  Very poignant.

Sometimes, I long to be free of my slobbery.  It definitely fences me in, behind literal walls of stuff.

It keeps people from visiting me, because there is no place to sit, due to the laundry, or whatever, on every available flat surface.

When someone is brave enough to visit, and they’re persistent enough to tunnel out a place to sit, they’re usually uncomfortable.  Chaos is uncomfortable.  Our minds seek order. Even if I say it doesn’t bother me to live in such a slobby mess;  sometimes, it does get to me.  And, I despair of ever digging out of the mess.

So, I make stabs at it, here and there.  Last Tuesday, Mama came over and we decluttered, and she organized some, in my bedroom.  (Alert- future post.)

But, overall, what difference did it make?  Sure, I can look around and see carpet now, where I couldn’t before.  And sure, now I can actually see the table top.  And my shirts are actually hanging in my closet.  (GASP- I heard that!)

But, I still have so much to do, and so far to go.  Why do anything, really???

That’s what my slob brain says.  But my “wants to be a cleanie” brain says, “Don’t give up! There’s hope! Keep on doing something!”

I realize I may never be a cleanie, after all, I’ve been a slob for 54 years now.  But, I’m gonna keep on chippin away at the mountain.

Who knows?  Someday, maybe  I’ll be company ready without a 3 day marathon of cleaning!

And when that happens, you’ll be the first to know.  Promise.

Bad, Bad Shoes.

(Did you hear the scolding tone of the title? I totally meant it to sound like I was yelling at a dog for messing in the house.) Look closely at my shoes, see any problems??

{The sole was peeling away from the sides.}

(I messed up with these photos.  At that time, I didn’t know if you deleted them from the library, that they disappeared from the post.    I know, you might think it’s a “DUH!”     But, to me it wasn’t.     So, now I have missing pix in some posts.      And, due to the fact that the shoes went in the trash, I can’t recover the pix.)   slob, humor, sad

 

I knew they were old, but really????  This is why I prefer to go barefoot, but the hot sidewalks are brutal here in FL!!  Okay, so I bought a new pair, since I can no longer wear my beloved ugly sandals, due to my falls. So, then what happens to the old ones?  Throw them back into the far forsaken corner of the closet?  Under the bed? In the vast wasteland under the sink?  Those would be my former slob choices.     No! Be a non-slob and throw them away! Alright, alright! Quit nagging!  There, they’re in the trash. Happy now??

Scary Situation

794px-Mike_Sorrentino,_Antonio_Bagnato_(6800392394)

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, on the left

A situation

(no, not THAT situation) has arisen at our apartment complex.

WE are being audited by the state.  Vewy vewy scawy!!

Florida_state_seal

DH is so nervous about it, he has been cleaning his head off.  (ewwww, a horrible image, sorry!!   Maybe I should have said like a chicken with its head chopped off? Is that better?)   I mean, more than usual.  I’m ashamed to say, I’m much more lazy about it.

I have decluttered a few items. Like, maybe 2??  What do you expect, I’m a slob, remember???

He decluttered the master closet, and organized.  Then he cleaned everything off the floor!! It looks fabulous in there!! I wish I had taken before pix, so I could show you before, and after, unfortunately, as stated before, I’m lazy. So….. no pix.  ( Bad blogger!)

Also, he worked on the big bookcase in the master.  It looks like a bookcase now!!  Before, it looked like a slob had just thrown random stuff up in air, and it landed there. Hmmmmm, wonder how that could’ve happened??

 


DH is now XH, and he is STILL helping me clean, and organize!       And move!       And take care of the grandbabies!       And……..  so on, and so on.