Okay, since I can not figure out what to do with water Bob, and PopPop has given me permission to break up with him in any way I see fit, it’s buh bye, Bob! Now to break it to him.
Bob, it’s not you, it’s me.
Well, ok, it is you.
When we first met, I felt like you were the perfect one! So nicely groomed, and packaged! So precisely folded! So useful!!
But then, after we carried our relationship to the next level, you just sat there, wishy washy, as if you were filled with liquid, or something! I need someone who is sturdy, and dependable!
True, you stayed in place, and never left me, but what a cold fish you were!! I need more warmth than you provided.
Once the crisis was over, you deflated like a balloon. I need someone who can stand beside me, come what may, both good and bad!
You never once gave me any compliments, or responded verbally in any way, when I spoke to you. I have to have conversation!! The strong silent type is not for me!!
And I really hate to mention this part, but you need to know. Your hygiene wasn’t the best, at the end. You didn’t finish drying off after your shower, and there was a … I have to say it…… a slight mustiness about you. When I make an effort to stay clean, and fresh smelling for you; the very least you could do is show me the same courtesy!
Then, you just stayed in the corner, all balled up, like a useless blob of nothingness.
Get up, and do something, man!! I have my own depression issues, I really don’t have time, or energy to be your caretaker!!
Maybe next time, things will work out for you. It was nice knowing you.
Buh bye Bob!!
An Irma post, brought to you by the letter “B”, and water.