Divorce Decision

With a pervasive sense of sadness, I drove to the courthouse, and filed my divorce papers.  

divorce paper

We’ve tried to make our marriage work, we just couldn’t.

The clerk couldn’t say how long it would take to have a court date. So, we’ll see….

 

 

Endings are always bittersweet.

Bitter, because I feel like a failure.   This is my third divorce.   What kind of awful person am I, anyway??   (The only saving grace in my mind is, the first 2 divorces were to the same husband.   No one can ever say we didn’t try!)

Sweet, because it will be a relief to just have it done, and over with.   Even as amicable as we are, there is always a certain tension.

So, on to practical matters.  For obvious reasons, DH will now be referred to as XH. (EX-Husband.)

We have agreed to remain friends, so he may still appear now and again.

My name will be changing again.   Not to my last married name, but to my first married name.  Since we have children together, with that name, and I was a Woideck longer than anything else, except my maiden name, Hawkins.

boutonniere pink roses white suit

“Boutonniere-whitesuit” by David Ball – Own work. Licensed under CC BY 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Boutonniere-whitesuit.jpg#/media/File:Boutonniere-whitesuit.jpg

 

 

  My last married name, Sanchez, never felt truly mine.  Probably because he died of cancer after only 2 months.   And being a widow was so shocking, and painful, that nothing felt right.

 

 

 

 

And now a new chapter begins……

purple new chapter logo

Hey, it says what I needed- (the first line anyway! ) AND- IT”S PURPLE!!

 

Hungry, Hungry Hamper

(Did you notice I referenced the kid’s game, “Hungry, Hungry Hippo”?  I thought it was clever.  Was it just me??)

Here’s what the corner of my bathroom, by the tub looked like before:

20150331_072933

Now, I own a hamper.  And it does have dirty clothes in it.  So, why wasn’t it there, where I actually put my dirty clothes?? HMMM, let me think….

Okay, I can’t think of a good excuse.

Wait, I know!  I hadn’t read about creating systems that work in your home.  

Everyone knows you’re supposed to get organized, right?  And everyone has probably read at LEAST 1 book on the subject.  (Lord knows, I have, 12 or twenty, maybe??)

BUT, if you try to do all these things, but your family doesn’t work that way, you will be doomed to fail.  Then, you’ll feel like a failure.  Instead of realizing it’s not you, it’s that system that failed.

Just like almost everything in life, you have to find what works for you.  Having my dirty clothes hamper in the bedroom, or by the laundry closet didn’t work for me.

I needed it right where I take off my clothes, in the bathroom.  Obviously, I had a well established habit, of throwing my dirty clothes down in the corner.  So….

20150403_111709after I cleaned them all up, and washed those,

1430146016677I put the hamper where the huge pile of clothes was.  Voila!  My dirty clothes are contained where they belong!  And, I don’t have to learn a new habit.  I just adjusted the system to what works for me!

YAY! I can do what any 2 year old can do!  Look, Mommy! I put my dirty clothes away myself!!