Paperless Problem

Good thing I was already sitting down, because a horrible thing happened.  I had run outta tp!

This is shocking!!!   A tragedy of Herculean proportions for a Hawkins!  (my maiden name)

It hasn’t happened in years, and YEARS!!   (I have a serious phobia of running out, due to being really poor during childhood, and all the hideous experiences with running out of tp.  Nope, can’t even talk about it.  You don’t know what I suffered as a child!

Well, if you must know, it started out with the kleenex, which was fine.  Then it was the paper napkins, NOT fine!!  Then the paper towels, worse than NOT fine!!  And more worser- you can’t flush them!!!   Then Sears catalogs, then finally corn cobs!

 True story! It happened in Grma’s out house!!  She was renovating the real bathroom at the time.  And it wasn’t long, but it felt like an ETERNITY!!   That’s when I almost didn’t go for a week!  (haha  Scared of spiders, snakes, and that ain’t what it takes to love me…)

I have PTTPLSD because of it all.   Post-Traumatic-Toilet-Paper-Lessness-Stress Disorder.  They had to create a new category in the DSM-V just for me.

So, there I was.   Stumped, had to think hard!  Ended up, having to use kleenex.   sigh   Coulda been worse!!  What if I’d only had paper towels??????   ARGH!  {runs screaming into the night at even the THOUGHT of it!}

I’m not sure I have enough yet. Maybe 1 more trip??

Now I’m set!

T(r)ank Trouble

Oh the multi-splendored joys of home ownership.  (Did the sarcasm come thru okay?)

I’m having…. tank troubles… as in my toilet tank.

I love the color, but I’m very puzzled. How do you flush it??

It worked when I first moved in,

This is how it’s SUPPOSED to work.

then suddenly it wouldn’t flush.  Called in the handyman, better known as sweet friend, the chain was broken.   A few minutes and 1 bent paper clip later

Office supply masquerades as plumbing fix

Ta Da!  It worked again!  Magic!  (BUT!!  the chain was TOO long now, so you had to lift the tank lid a little, so the doo-hickey wouldn’t hit the top.) sigh  (Of COURSE it was too long, did ya SEE the size of that paper clip???)

That’s okay, I just waited till it broke again, and asked for a smaller paper clip.  Ain’t I brilliant!!   (I didn’t get that college degree fer nuttin, ya know!)

A little later, it was running all the time, and wouldn’t flush AGAIN!!   This time, the rubber gasket was not sealing right, so it constantly drained.  And wouldn’t you know it, all these things ALWAYS happened in the middle of the night!   How does that HAPPEN???

Want to! Just can’t!  I wish this sign hadn’t been written in invisible ink!!

So, once again, a SOS call went out.  (in the morning!  I didn’t call him right then.  I’m not a sadist.)  Like magic, he fixed in a trice.  (Don’t ya just love that word – trice??  We need to start a campaign to bring it back into popular circulation!   Who’s with me??)

Several weeks go by, then a repeat of the same frustration.  ERGH!  So, I decided to take a peek for myself.  This time, the top link had slipped out of the hole in the end of the stick.  (There’s probably a real name for it – flush lever?? )
(not my toilet- you can find anything on google!)

Tried to mend it, but failed.  Probably due to my fat fingers, and being wet.  Yes, yes, that’s it! Because my fingers were wet!   So humiliating to be toilet- flushable- challenged.

                                                                                           

And, here I sit blogging, instead of asking for help.  Thinking about buying stock in Depends.

  A brand new party!!  Woo hoo!  Thanks, Shanice, for the invite!