Hacked Hair Horror

I told ya!   When I went with Mama, to the free lunch for homeless, and low income people, the first thing Miss Betty asked me was,  “Oh honey!   Are you having chemo??”     With an implied, Bless your heart.

4 steps away from her, Pastor Julio reached out to me.   “Oh no!   your Mama din’t tell me you had cancer!   I’ll pray for you!”

Then the red-headed Miss Betty came ALL the way across the room to scold me.    “Why’d you do that to your HAIR??”    At least she didn’t ask if I had cancer!

eyes rolled back in head

    Oh brother!

 

 

Since I knew it was gonna happen, I wanted to have some sarcastic zingers all ready to go.    But, how can you be sarcastic to precious ladies who are really concerned about you????   Ya can’t.    So, I just told them the truth.     “It was so long, it bothered me!”   Leaving out the “I-had-a-wild-hair-and-now-it’s-gone” part.

Hacked Hair

Decided my hair was just too long, again!   So, instead of going to the hair dressers, like normal people do, (or so I’ve heard), I got out my scissors, sat down, and went to town.

The next day, my aunts came over.   One of whom requested anonymity, and the other was Sherry.    (My besties can easily figure out which sister she is.   Sorry, if you don’t know me IRL, then you’ll just have to suffer the curiosity.    Hope it doesn’t kill you, like it did the cat!)

When they saw me, their gasps were so loud, the neighbor yelled “Shut up over there!”   {Maybe a slight hyperbole.   Possibly.}  

purple surprised face

courtesy of pixaby 

 

 

Where was I??   Oh yeah, they were shocked by the hacked up appearance of my hair.   IDK why, since Sherry has done worse to me!!!

So, after we ate lunch, gotta keep up our strength!!!   The aunt who-wants-to-remain-anonymous offered to use the scissors to try to even it out.    {It was BAD y’all!!!}  

almost completely bald head

This was after the pass with the first razor. Pitiful, I know.

 

That helped so much not at all, so with a sigh, she asked for a razor.    And I knew where 1 was!  Yay me!!    I’m loving this organized-so-I-know-where-things-are-immediately change in my life!!!    There is hope, and recovery for slobs!!!

Anyhoo, so she attacked shaved my head down to the scalp.   She did the deed in the dining room.    Oooohh, I love feeling the wind in my hair on my bare skin!    It’s quite a delicious feeling!   I highly recommend it, if you’ve never tried it!   {Truly tho, attacked IS an appropriate word, since she snipped my forehead once!   In her defense, they were horrible scissors!   Cuz I didn’t know where my hair trimming scissors were.   hangs head in shame   And of course, I found them when I went looking for the second razor!    Too late for my poor bleeding self.

completely shaved head of PurpleSlob

No, I don’t have cancer! (I know that question is coming. I got it ALL the time last time I shaved.)

 

Another bonus, I get to spend less time in the shower!   I was already spending a whole 20 seconds lathering up my short hair, so I can “shave” off that time!    See what I did there?   Now I’ll finally be able to get to that 1 push up I’ve been meaning to do, and just never could find the time!

No more gray for me!!   Haha, now I can save that zero dollars I was spending every month on hair color!

Good thing I have a prettily shaped head!

Tilt-a-whirl

I just had the sickening feeling of the world tilting on its axis.  Horrible feeling!  Anchored to nothing, about to spin out into space!  Anxiety riding high!  Whatever in the world is wrong??  What’s happening??  Questions churning through my mind, even as my body is spinning in chaos…..

I quickly ran thru scenarios in my brain…..

Ahhh- that’s it!  I haven’t seen PP in over 24 hours!

wild eyed woman

what IS that HAIRY thing down there??? Oh, whew, it’s only my leg….

 It was grand baby withdrawals!  Baby DTs are nothing to sneeze at!!

But, now that I can rest assured I’m not dying, and the world isn’t ending…. (at least not this minute)……

I take a deep breath, and repeat after myself, “It’s okay. I saw her 30 hours ago, and I will see her again soon.  I will see her again soon.”

A comforting chorus of “PP loves me so much!!!”  softly playing in the background, lulls me off back to sleep, with a contented smile on my face.

back to sleepOf course I sleep sitting up!  Don’t you??  Oh alright, I admit it.  I adapted these photos that I’d taken for something else.

Ripe Recipe

9/17/2015

I had a wild hair today.   It was so annoying.   Don’t worry, it’s gone.

buzz hair cut

This is a #3 guard, on the clippers. Too long?

Artistic, no?

side buzz cut

Pretty short, huh? Cool!!!

My Mama almost had a fit when she saw me. She thinks it’s a catastrophe.  I knew she would.  And it’s not that I don’t care, or want to upset her.

It’s just that I’m trying to survive the  oven Florida climate!  Remember this?  Icy Exterior.  103 degrees in the shade, ain’t no joke!  Add to that, I’m still fat fluffy, and NO AIR in my car!!  And there you have a recipe for heat stroke!

Skunk head- just for LBeth!

Here is your special order, ma’am, hot off the press!

skunk-me

skunk-me

I was helping my aunts paint my grandmama’s house, the same one I was sitting on the porch, after Grandma had passed.  Unfortunately, no one in the family could buy it, so it was going on the market.  😦

So, here we were, painting the ceiling of the dining room, do ya feel where this is going???

We are all laughing, then crying, talking about Grandma, and memories we had in the house.  So, after a too long crying jag, I painted someone’s shirt back, just to get a laugh.  Then, it was all out paint war!

Before long, we all had paint smeared hither to yon.  I already had flecks in my hair, so I painted the stripe down the top, and said, “Hey, y’all!  Remember when Sherry skunked me??”

They all stared at me horrified!!  “Melinda!!  That is oil paint!  You’re gonna have to use paint thinner to get that out!!”

“Yeah, but do ya remember when Sherry put that streak of white down my hair, by using all the bleach on me, cuz I was too impatient to wait for her to do it right??  Blast from the past, baby!

And, just like 35-ish years previously, it had to grow out.  But!  This time Mama couldn’t yell at me for ruining my hair!  HA!

I love my adventure filled life!

Love/Hate Challenge

Beautiful Himali, from decodinghappyness has nominated me for a challenge.

                                      Love – Hate !

Read here: love-hate

  • List 10 things that you love.
  • List 10 things that you hate.
  • Nominate fellow bloggers to take the challenge.

love-over-hate1

So, here goes:

LOVES:

  1.  Jesus/God/Holy Spirit  (They’re the same, 3 persons in 1 Godhead.)
  2. My husband, DH
  3. My 2 daughters, DD1, DD2
  4. My grand baby, Pudding Pop
  5. Mamafirst established
  6. My family; nuclear,first established , this established, and extended
  7. PURPLE!!!  (Y’all knew that one was coming, right??)
  8. Losing weight
  9. The Bible
  10. Blogging, my new addiction

Hates:  Hmmmm, this is harder.

  1.  Bad grammar, especially in a love letter.  In 8th grade, I red-lined all my boyfriend’s love letters, and sent them back for editing!  Yes, I really did!  The gall!
  2. Long hair, on me.  I whack it off every chance I get.  When my girls were in Elementary school, I even shaved my head, much to their chagrin, and Mama’s horror!
  3. Shaving my legs.  Enough said.
  4. Abortion.  This is serious, I just couldn’t be all funny, without speaking up for the unborn.  They are precious little lives, no matter what stage of gestation.
  5. Frustation!  I’m not the most techie person in the world, so I get upset when I can’t just do what I want to do!  Why don’t I have a computer I can just speak to, and it instantly does my bidding????  WHY????
  6. Not having a sarcasm font.  I’ve asked for it enough times.  Someone should have invented this already!!
  7. Green. Yuck!
  8. Sushi.  Just the thought of it makes me queasy.  Believe me, I’ve eaten my share of stuff, so let me slide, okay?  Thanks!
  9. Running out of ice… and since I live alone, this would be the fault of ?????
  10. When I don’t get a nap.  So does everyone around me hate when this happens!!  (Can you say Grumpy?  I thought you could.)

Okay, so there’s that, then.  Onto the nominations.  And the awards go to:

Claremary

Janice

Susie

James

Robyn

oh my heartsie girl WW

tuesday talk

two uses tuesday

Beautifully Creative Inspired

5 photos, 5 stories challenge, part 5

skunk-me

skunk me

purple hair

purple hair

me all aglow

me all aglow

laughing

laughing

burger me, baby

burger me, baby

Okay, you know me, it’s sooooo hard to follow rules!  I doan wanna!!  <insert whine >

So, I couldn’t make up my mind which pic to tell you about, for my 5th post.

Now, it’s your turn to tell me, which one do you want to know about the most??

(I just now figured out how to change my text colors.  Sheesh, am I thick, or what???)

But now, I can’t find my poll button.    Drats.

What do I do now??  I guess, you’ll have to tell me in your comments, and I’ll have to hand count ’em.  

Horrors!!

Yay!! The poll button mysteriously reappeared!     Why does technology hate me????

inspire mon

Brand-Logo-HMLP-2015

New-Sunday-Features-I-Love-To-Party

tips tricks party

two uses tuesday

Floor Focus

I worked on the shower earlier- purging, not cleaning!  I gotta leave something for the maid to do!  {maid, that’s precious that I call myself that!}

Now the Floor, around the potty:

Left

Left

Right

Right

I’m sorry if it burned your eyes.  You were warned by the blog’s name, right?

Whew, not as bad as the actual toilet, though, right?

Now, I just gotta get up the gumption to :

1.  Move the t.p.

2.  Sweep.

3.  Use dustpan.

(Yes, I have to get VERY specific with myself!!)

This is not me.  But the broom, and dustpan are mine.

This is not me. But the broom, and dustpan are mine.  Did you notice they are purple??

(How can you tell this isn’t me?  This person has hair!)

4.  Empty dustpan.

5.  Put away dustpan, and broom.

Yes, they probably should be in the closet, but for now, this is their home.  That way I can always find them!

Corner of the Entryway

Corner of the Entryway

6.  Scrub floor.

{wipes sweat out of eyes, collapses in recliner, nods off….}

That was hard work!!  I probably shouldn’t tell you I had to take a 15 minute break between steps 1, and 2, huh?

Just kidding!  It was between number 3 and 4.

And here it is:

THE GRAND REVEAL:

Ta-Da!

Right Side

Right Side

I do not know what that brown stain is, but rest assured, it is not human waste!

(maybe rust??  a dead alien that assimilated itself to the floor????  All I know is, resistance was futile.)

Left Side

Left Side

Rats, I forgot about under the counter.  I’m too tired.  That’ll have to be next weekend,  week, month, year?

soap or shampoo

Why do I have so many products in my shower when I only use 1?

There's a tube inside.

There’s a tube inside.

Smells so good.

Smells so good.

Product, product everywhere

Product, product everywhere

Annnnd, 1 more

Annnnd, 1 more

Guess I could de-clutter some. Reckon?

I gave the yogurt body wash to Shirley.  She took it, even though I warned her, it felt slimy, all over my body!

What do I mean I only use 1 product? Well shampoo is for hair, right? And we have hair all over our bodies, right? So all I use is shampoo.

Partly cuz I can’t read the bottles, without my glasses.  Partly cuz I’m too lazy to do 2 steps. I only have 2 inches of hair, so why fuss?

And it’s cheaper too! Got my shampoo on sale with coupons for cheap cheap.

Now, the good part:

Products- poof!

Products- poof!

No more rack, and stuff here!

No more rack, and stuff here!

Oops, I forgot to take a before of that part.  Oh well, y’all are used to that by now, right? 😉  (And I’ve donated the rack already, so no way to fake the shot!)

I kept the Cherry Blossom shampoo.

But:

20150607_153719

That one is gone!  Oops!  Didn’t realize how nasty that corner was.  Tra la, I’ll think about that some other day.

Aaahhhhh! That looks better.  Ummm, as in de-cluttered better, not cleaned better!

I can’t get rid of the tube in PP’s cups, because it floats.  And she loves to play with it.

20150527_142351

Thus endeth my soap or shampoo saga.