Pre Preps

Pre preps for imminent, irritation Irma are on going this weekend.  I’m writing this on my phone Sunday night, as my desktop apparently decided it was time to desert this earthly travail.    Argh!!          (update:   Monday it came back to life, after I gave it mouth to USB port resuscitation!)

Talk about frustration!   How am I supposed to blog about hurricane preps on my tiny little phone keyboard??   Vewwy vewwy cawefully!!

Anyway, I took pix, and since I’m on my phone, they should be easier to insert.    Let’s hope!!

Water is always a first essential.    Got it covered.

slob, humor, water stored in the tub

Fresh water- yay!

slob, humor, Water Bob

My new best friend!

TY PopPop!              That’s for drinking.

Second essential is potty. Got that covered:

(I was gonna take a pic of all the tp, but you know what it looks like!)

slob, humor, water for flushing

Flush water- sooooo important!!

Next is food.

Brownies!!         Then peach Coke- of course!           I think that’s all we need.       ( I have lots of other food, it’s just not that important!   lol)


slob, humor, flashlight, lantern

Lights- check!

DD1 took babies out of state.  So I know they’re safe.   DD2 was already out of state, so all’s good there.

XH had to evac his mobile, so I demanded asked him over here.   After all, somebody’s got to piggyback my fat butt outta here if the flooding is too bad!   Plus he has a 4×4 truck!

slob, humor, me and XH

Us!     Partying like it’s Hurricane Charley!

(He certainly seems to be happy to be here, doing all the prep work, doesn’t he???)

PopPop is safe at his work.

Grandmama’s building IS a shelter.  So she’s all good.   She’s having a sleepover with friends, in the laundry room!

Sister’s house is Cat 4 rated, so her and kids are safe.   Bubba and Shirley have a sturdy block house, so they’re good.

Let’s see who did I forget??   Oh yeah, Rose was already overseas, so she’s good.   And neighbor Jeannette went to a safe place as well.

All’s well that ends well, for us.    God protected us!!  

Praying for the millions still without power, and that lost their homes.

And still praying for Texas, and Louisiana.

Thanks everybody for all the prayers for us!!

❤  ❤  ❤

An Irma post.

#1        #2- Pre Preps, this one 

Jenerous Jeanette

My neighbor, Jeanette, gave me this jorgeous (hard “J” lol)  lighthouse for Christmas.    (I know, I know, here it is way into 2017, I’m still bragging yakking about last Christmas!       Well, I’m not done with the topic yet!    Sorry, not sorry!)

slob, humor, lighthouse

As you can see, I’m proudly displaying it outside.     It’s light is solar, so it lights up at night!     So very neat!    slob, humor, solar light

She is so jenerous!     Last year she gave me these gorgeous pictures, that she colored.     She also painted the frames purple.     She’s a great friend!

slob, humor, friend painted      slob, humor, friend painted

What did I give her?     You may ask.      Last year, I gave her an ornament that said something about being a good neighbor.     (Sorry, I didn’t memorize it!)        When I went to visit, the other day, she had it prominently displayed on her tree.      

This year I’m planning to give her one of the cross stitch ornaments I made.

slob, humor, cross stitch ornament

As soon as I find it again!       When I finished it, I put it in the living room, to wrap.       Then PP came over, and poof!       It’s gone!

So, the treasure hunt begins!!      I sure hope it doesn’t take me as long to find it, as it did to finish making it!

Well, never did find it.  

(Update:  this post was written Dec. 7.    I found the ornament on the very bottom of the tree, in the back, next to the wall, where I couldn’t see it, when I was stripping the tree!  On Dec.11, the very night this was published.    That scamp, PP!!    She knew I’d never look back there!)

 So, since I knew where this one was, this is what she got!       She liked it, cuz her tree is predominantly red decorations.       Good job, Melinda!!         Thanks!

slob, humor, finished!

Now, my joy is all gone….

Just kiddin!!      I still have Jesus!!


Probably Pro Procrastinator

Here it is Dec.29, and I haven’t even finished making all my Christmas gifts yet.  <groan >    WHAT??   Melinda!!   I can’t believe you!      

Well, you KNOW I’m one terrific procrastinator!      As a matter of fact, probably I’m a pro!   Pro Procrastinator, that is!       That’s fun to say!!      Try to say it 10 times really fast!       (I couldn’t!)

Since our family Christmas Eve got postponed, that gave me a good excuse to just drop what I was doing, and do something else.    After all, I had another week to finish!       Now it’s Thursday, and I have to be done by Sat.      Will I make THIS deadline???        Well, unlike Kim’s Kwilt debacle, there is hope!!

This is the raw state of the cross stitches.    It only took me 20 or so years before  I found them again!          How can that be??           Hellooooo-  ever heard of Hoarders???          And see my name???       The SLOB part???

And here’s how I left them last week:

Sadly, the one on the right is a boo boo.    Instead of sewing right sides together, I did right to wrong.    😦        That’s when I knew it was time to quit sewing that night!!        Tired sewer makes lots of mistakes!!      

Oh wait!  I’m mistaken!     It’s not done wrong!       After looking at it when my eyes aren’t crossed from tired, it’s right!      Whew!       Then I realized, I forgot the hanger!        {shrug}   Oh well, what ya gonna do???        Umm, rip out the stitches, and do it right??         Seriously?    Do you even KNOW me???       Nope, just add it onto the back.!       Like it or lump it!

Then I needed stuffing, but didn’t have any.      Hmmm, was I gonna have to use cut up rags??       Cuz I will!       But, then my eyes landed on this:

slob, humor, stuffing      Perfect!       And so it was!

Now, get off the computer, get over there in your sewing room, and finish them!!         I mean it young lady!!      Or no lunch for you!        WAAAAHHHHH!

slob, humor, crying girl

Fine, but I’m gonna mutter grouchy things about you under my breath.        You don’t scare me!

Stuffed, and waiting for the final stitch in time.       (Shouldn’t have eaten so much!)

There!        Done!!     And it only took 20 years!      Woot!!     I beat my own 9 year record!         (Kim’s Kwilt)

                           One for you, one for me!                 Guess who these 2 are for????

Since my middle name is Joy, I’m keeping that one!     I deserve some reward for all this work!!       And sis collects Nativities, but has run outta shelf space, so two for her!

Now I have Michelle’s present, and neighbor Jeanette’s.      (More about her later.)     Now to go finish the wrapping…..

Finally Christmas is done, done!        For this year…..    mwuahahahaha        You know, it’s already less than 360 days till next Christmas!


Harrowing Haircut

Well, I finally got around to it.   


I got my celebratory, end-of-summer, yay, it’s-only-96-in-the-shade-instead-of-106, haircut.   AND, I specifically told the barber, neighbor Jeanette, to leave the top longer, so I can look like a girl.   (What is it with people thinking if you’re bald, or nearly so, that you don’t look feminine???)

When I got to her house, my hair was dry.   But, Vanronica’s butt was out in the street, and a truck drove by so slowly, and hestitated so long, it insinuated that it could barely squeeze by.   So Jeanette said, “Ya better move it before the parking police get here.”    (The golf cart posse, in other words.)


slob, humor, parking

“Ya gotta park THIS way, bud.”


So, out I dutifully went, to remove the offending object.   But neighbor Irlene was out, and hailed me.    {Not with small chunks of ice, either.}    So, I stood there chatting a few minutes.   Well, then Jeanette had to come hunt me down.   Surprise!   When I got back inside, my hair was soaking wet.   Well, no one was REALLY surprised.    So, I had to towel off, before she could begin.   AND, because it was still damp, she used the scissors, instead of the clippers.   I mean, she tried to use the clippers, (after I anxiously inquired whether or not I’d be a french fry, if she did), but if you’ve ever tried that on damp hair, you know what happened.    A whole lotta nothing.

After my nod of approval, she sprinkled powder on my neck.


I started coughing, and choking, and feeling like I was gonna die.

“Do ya need a water??”   She inquired nervously.

I tried to reply, but didn’t have the breath.

I dragged my carcass outside, and made it across the {2 feet of} yard.   Leaning on Vanronica’s haunches, I gasped, and coughed, and generally caused everyone to think I needed 911.

Soooo, we both agreed never to use powder again….

Who knew a haircut would be such a  harrowing experience??

But, we need the answer to the REAL question!!

Oooo kaaaay.   What’s that??

How did the haircut turn out?   Obviously you’re fine.

Well! {huffy tone}   Thanks for your touching concern!

Welcome!   {doesn’t understand sarcasm, obviously!!}   Now show us the pix!!

What do you say??

Pleeeeeease??  Pretty please??   With a dollop of Brylcreem on top??

slob, humor, Brylcreem

For all you youngsters who’ve never heard of Brylcreem before, it was an ancient form of Bedhead.


slob, humor, bedhead cream

For all you oldsters who’ve never heard of Bedhead before, it’s modern Brylcreem for the smart-alek whippersnappers.


{Everybody good now??    We all on the same catalog page?   Good, let’s move on.}

Fine, here.   It looks pretty good, if I do say so myself, who shouldn’t.  


I love my little silver wings!!                                      Nice, no??   Do I still look like a girl?

Scootin Scooter

{Ya know what?   It was really hard not to write “Boot” before the scootin, and “Boogie” after!     But, since they didn’t alliterate, I was saved from myself!}

Okay, down to the real reason for this rambling man rhetoric: Scootin my Scooter.  

slob, humor, scooter

Ta-da! My scooter. Yes, you’ve seen it before. And probably will again. When my leg goes out, I’d be crawling on the ground without this baby!


My backrest had broken.   I was inconsolable.    Whenever I leaned back on it, I leaned WAY back!    Like so far back, I was(almost) on my back!   (But did I stop and take a selfie of this horrible state??    I’m sure you can all say it with me: “NOOOOO.”)

Anyway, I was resigned to suffer this torture indefinitely.    [Due to my funds being NOT fluid at present, due to saving for the trip in May to see DD2 graduate as a Doctor!! paying back 2 loans I owe, and having to buy piddley little stuff, like toilet paper, and food! Thankfully neighbor, Jeanette, borrowed it.    The seat got on her nerves so bad, she said “We gotta FIX this!”    Do tell!!    And she is the woman with a plan!    In her shed, she found a board just the right size, cut down a little, painted it for me!!    {Can you guess the color??   I think you can!!}  and bolted it to the supports. 

slob, humor, scooter

My brand new back!!


Aaaahhhhh!   When I rode it today, I thought I’d been upgraded to a luxury scooter!    Amazing what a small thing it takes to make me happy!!    A cushion that sets up straight, instead of sagging?    I’m all kinds of gleeful!!

Now, wonder what I have to do to get shocks on it???

Market Meal

The last Monday in March, I took my neighbor, Jeanette, to a Seniors only produce market.   We only had to pay $5, and got a LOT of stuff!

A quart of strawberries, which I skipped, 2 oranges, box of mushrooms, 3 onions, 2 zucchini, 2 yellow squash, 1 bundle organic asparagus, {Ooooohh! Fancy!} 5 # potatoes, 2 ripe, very ripe, avocados, a bunch, bundle? stem? of long leaf lettuce.   I’m not sure what kind it is, just what it isn’t.    It’s not iceberg, butter, or Bibb, because they’re all round heads.   It doesn’t matter, really.   It’s long, green, and leafy!    And last, but not least, a strawberry pie, which I was gonna skip too.   But Jeanette grabbed one and put it in my bag.

“You paid for this, get all you paid for!”   Now, she has 2 pies!

Wow, that was a long prologue!

Jeanette said, “Those mushrooms are almost gone.   If you don’t cook them today, you’ll have to throw them away.”    She probably felt like she was wasting her breath, knowing full well, I don’t do the “C” word!

But, to my shock, that’s exactly what I did, when I got home!    I didn’t want to have to throw away the mushrooms, so I got busy.

First I sliced up the onion.

sliced onion, humor

Why am I crying??



Then, I fried sauteed them with the pre-cut mushrooms.     {And of COURSE the alarm went off!}

I steamed the asparagus in the microwave.


humor, steaming asparagus in microwave

See, I really DO know how to use a kitchen appliance!


Added a piece of ham left over from Easter at my Mama’s, and Voila!

A yummy market meal!

humor, onion skins, asparagus stems

Scraps and skin, proving I cooked!