Graphically Gross Grooming

   Really, Melinda must you be graphically gross about grooming??   What is it now, a shower for the smooshed roach??

Well, I’m sorry to be gross, especially graphically, about grooming, but I have a problem.

   What’s new??   You always have a problem, of some sort or another.

Well, it’s like this.   Sometimes, just sometimes, not always, when I’m toweling off after my shower, I catch a whiff of a ..  How shall I put this??    a whang.

What???   I know I have a lot of acreage to cover, but, really????

I have a sprayer head, so I know everything gets all wet.   I use a wash rag cloth, and soap even!!

slob, humor, sprayer head

Sprayer heads are the bomb!


I go over, and over the exact same spots, as many as 3x, the recalcitrant spots, that is.

So what gives??   How in this world can I still be overtly odoriferous??

But the nose knows!!

slob, humor, giant head shot

Sprayer heads are the bomb!

(WHY does it do that with the copying the other caption????

{This is as far as I’ve gotten, with this draft.   I haven’t solved the mystery yet.   And, I don’t even wanna think about it anymore.}

To Be Continued…

Red Rudolph

Have you thought about Rudolph in awhile?  Since it’s been a whole month since Christmas, probably not.

Well, I thought about him today.  Why?  Here, let me show you.

red nosed Melinda

Melinda, the red nosed dear


Is my nose blinking and glowing?   Or is that just me?

If you think toilet paper is all the same, and why bother paying more?  Just remember the lesson of my nose.  It knows! the difference between soft and scratchy toilet paper.   (Why was I blowing my nose with toilet paper?  I had already “blown” through all the Kleenex.   Bwahahaha, I crack myself up!!   3 outta 4 selves agree, that I’m the funniest of them all!  Me, myself, and I agree.  Melinda is the odd (wo)man out.)

Don’t let the quilting fool you:  All tps are NOT created equal!!

flower quilted toilet paper


The one is soft, and soothing.   The other feels like I’m using sandpaper to buff out my face.

swirl quilted toilet paper

Are the swirls the softest??



Now, if I can just remember which is which, BEFORE I scrape off my nose to spite my face!!

5 Photos, 5 Stories Challenge, part 3

I’m debating which pic to pick, aha- see what I did there??

I have so many, so, so many goofy pix of me.  You might say it’s my natural look!

Okay, I’ll just grab one and go.


Me as a cow.           Moooo

(I can say that about myself, but don’t you try it, I’ll deck ya!)

Have you ever gone to Chik-fil-a on Cow Appreciation Day???  It’s a madhouse!  (See what I did there?  Catch the mad cow reference?  I kill myself.)  Everyone that dresses up in a cow costume gets free food.   They even provide free printables on their website!   It’s so much fun!

I know you probably wouldn’t have recognized me, without my purple shades giving away my disguise.  You can’t see the black spots all over my shirt, cuz the camera wasn’t panorama, therefore couldn’t capture me in all my bovine glory!  (Okay- no more fat jokes!!  We’re done.)

Those aren’t earrings, they’re my ears.  Yes, poor me, my ears hang low.  (And no, I didn’t try to tie them in a bow.)

Ask me how hard it was to eat through a cow’s snout! nose? Whatever it’s called.  Pretty hard!  But, the good news is, the paper tasted like chicken.