Totally Tanked

I’m about to totally lose it!   Toilet troubles, again!!!  How many times is that, since I moved in in June???  600!!  Give or take….

It’s a catastrophe, that’s making me cranky, and crazy!!  CRAY-CRAY, I tell you!!!

 

This is Tuesday night, and the chain slipped off again, Monday night.  DH came over this morning and “Fixed ” it.  By after lunch, it wouldn’t flush again!  Is he “fixing” it with a wad of gum????

He said I was flushing “Too Hard”.   Wow, I didn’t realize the power I was unleashing in my mighty index finger!!

20151118_213228

Re-enactment: at sweet friend’s house.  Somehow my originals from this morning didn’t make it thru the wormhole.

 So, I’ve promised to only push with my poor, pitiful, powerless pinky.  Hopefully problem solved!  (I doubt it, but we’ll see……)

20151118_213234

 

 

 

Here’s a sad pic of the offending machinism:

20151117_155827

 

 

 

This is my real toilet, this time.  What do you mean, “EWWWW”???

Who cleans their toilet tank??  You mean, that’s a thing?  You’re supposed to??  Oops!  I didn’t get the memo!

I’m just so sick of the drama.   Seriously considering installing an outhouse, sans corn cobs!   Off to check the park regulations on that…..

 

Paperless Problem

Good thing I was already sitting down, because a horrible thing happened.  I had run outta tp!

This is shocking!!!   A tragedy of Herculean proportions for a Hawkins!  (my maiden name)

empty toilet paper roll

It hasn’t happened in years, and YEARS!!   (I have a serious phobia of running out, due to being really poor during childhood, and all the hideous experiences with running out of tp.  Nope, can’t even talk about it.  You don’t know what I suffered as a child!

Well, if you must know, it started out with the kleenex, which was fine.  Then it was the paper napkins, NOT fine!!  Then the paper towels, worse than NOT fine!!  And more worser- you can’t flush them!!!   Then Sears catalogs, then finally corn cobs!

corn cob

 True story! It happened in Grma’s out house!!  She was renovating the real bathroom at the time.  And it wasn’t long, but it felt like an ETERNITY!!   That’s when I almost didn’t go for a week!  (haha  Scared of spiders, snakes, and that ain’t what it takes to love me…)

I have PTTPLSD because of it all.   Post-Traumatic-Toilet-Paper-Lessness-Stress Disorder.  They had to create a new category in the DSM-V just for me.

toothbrush hates his job

So, there I was.   Stumped, had to think hard!  Ended up, having to use kleenex.   sigh   Coulda been worse!!  What if I’d only had paper towels??????   ARGH!  {runs screaming into the night at even the THOUGHT of it!}

toilet paper hoard

I’m not sure I have enough yet. Maybe 1 more trip??

Now I’m set!