Agoraphobia Agony

Now, I’m not agoraphobic.   Thank God!   It’s nice to know there’s at least ONE disease I don’t have!   I have 99 problems, but that ain’t one of ’em.

But, I can and do sympathize, and empathize with how hard it must be for someone who suffers from that.   Or another serious medical condition.

Even with as simple as my medical needs are, sometimes it’s.just.too.hard.to.leave.the.house.

Since I was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, I always have my water bottle at my finger tips.   The other day, I forgot it, and I almost had a full blown panic attack!    Water is essential to maintaining my health.    (And yours too!)

my hand holding purple water bottle

There’s those giant man hands again!

(Note the purple initial Tervis, thanks Sweet Friend!!)

 

But, then of course that leads to the inevitable consequence, the constant need for potty breaks.   And that leads to the need for a tall potty, so I don’t hurt my knees.  

handicapped potty chair

Ooohh, love the handles!!

 

And a handicapped stall, so my fat butt doesn’t get stuck.   Seriously, it’s a concern.    One time, the stall door was literally so small, I could not go in.    Nightmare, anyone???  (BTW, I never went back to that restaurant.)   AND, my PTTPLSD  (Post-Traumatic-Toilet-Paper-Lessness-Stress Disorder)- What if they’re OUT????   {shudder}    Oh, the horror!!

So, some days, it’s just not worth all that hassle.

Not to mention, having to TAKE a SHOWER, and, FIND clean clothes!   OY VEY!   (Both of which require intensive amounts of positive self-talk to work up the umph to actually do.)

Found the perfect meme for this!

fat cat on bed trying to gather energy

Me- every day

 

So, if you’re ever in the neighborhood, and wonder why no one sees me for days at a time, I’ll be chained to the water fountain by my hands, and the other end will be chained to you-know-where.

Condemned Cow

Look at this hideousness!!

cow mailbox

Hideous!!!

I’m always afraid my mail will be chewed up into cud, by the time I’m able to retrieve it!   What if it goes into the 4th stomach, and I can’t reach it???

udder on cow mailbox

“Udderly” AWFUL

 

shudder

 

Can you tell how much I despise it??

blank backside of cow mailbox

Isn’t the blank backside of a cow what YOU want to see every time you step outside??

Yeah, me neither!!

It must DIE!!  It’s officially on death row, as of NOW!!

wide eyed stare of cow mailbox

Oh yeah! I thought that’d get your attention!!

Panicked mooing!  “Mooooo!!  Mooooo!!”  (I’m not sure, but I think Bossy understood!)

Granny, get yore gun, we’s agoin huntin!!

 

 

 

 

(Update:  I have now officially de-“faced” the cow.   Death by dismemberment has begun.)

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dreaded doorbell deadline

Yesterday, (many yesterdays ago, now) I got a phone call.

rotary dial phone

(By candlelight, apparently)

“I’m coming over, be there in an  hour.”

4 sand hour glasses

So, I’m guessing each one is 15 minutes??

Panic! Only 1 hour get ready!!

panic face

Exact replica of my expression!

First time visitor! I want to make a good impression!  I haven’t seen her in over 2 yrs!

Nony calls it F.O.U.D.  Fear of unexpected doorbell.  Perfect description, and diagnosis!

Took a quick shower.

(No pix exist of this.  You’re welcome.)

Dishes-10 min or less.

dirty dishes in sink

5 min pick up was all I needed!  Had time to sit down for lunch.

Whew! So relieved in such good shape since blog.

Left floor- oh well. Visitable not perfect!

Relaxed and enjoyed visit.

But then she wanted to go in bedroom!

Nooooooo!!!!

Sigh. Oh well at least I made a good first impression!

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