Let’s All Hit the Floor

Well, my plans changed rapidly Thursday night.  One minute I was in the shower, getting ready to go meet a girlfriend for a long awaited GNO, and the next, I was on the floor crying.

Yup, hit the floor, just that quick.  Yelling, crying, moaning, I was doing it all.

Hurting, and feeling like a dummy.  How many 53 yo women can get out of the shower all by themselves, without falling down?? Apparently, all of them but me.

Then, DH and DD1 were there, asking  me questions.

(Yes, my real husband. No, he wasn’t smiling during the event itself.)

Can you get up?  Ummm, that would be negatory.  Are you conscious?  I’m conscious of how stupid I am, so yeah.

Then, 911.  8 paramedics, EMTs, and firemen.  (No, not 8 of each, 8 altogether.)

I know, quite a lovely butt shot.

 

All trying to figure out how to pick me up when my body was in the tiny bathroom, and my head was in the bedroom.  Once they moved the bed, they worked it out.  Back board, head brace, and me in all my glory.  Did I mention there were 8 men????  Thankfully, DD1 brought a sheet, so they covered me before taking me out the door.  Thank God for small favors!!

050103-N-9951E-171 Aceh, Sumatra, Indonesia (Jan. 3, 2005) – Lt. Lisa Peterson, of Derwood, Md., center, Lt. Mark Banks, of Savannah, Ga., and two Indonesian Army personnel carry a patient on a stretcher flown-in by a U.S. Navy helicopter to a temporary triage site in Aceh, Sumatra. Medical teams from USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN 72), Carrier Air Wing Two (CVW-2) and the International Organization for Migration (IOM) set-up a triage site located on Sultan Iskandar Muda Air Force Base, in Banda Aceh, Sumatra. The two teams worked together with members of the Australian Air Force to provide initial medical care to victims of the Tsunami-stricken coastal regions. The Abraham Lincoln Carrier Strike Group is currently operating in the Indian Ocean off the waters of Indonesia and Thailand. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate 2nd Class Elizabeth A. Edwards (RELEASED)

(You’re welcome for sparing you the ACTUAL visual.)

 

 

Made them stop so I could tell PP bye.  She was so worried, bless her heart.

Ambulance, about 90 speed bumps, it seemed.  ER. Finally a pain pill!!

Xrays, CT scans, another pain pill.

Yes, they xrayed more than just my hands!

 

 

 

Nothing broken??  Are you sure, Doctor?? Cause I feel like I’m dying.

Gave me a script for pain pills, recommended ice, and Ibuprofen.  Put me in a wheelchair and sent me home.

080628-N-9689V-001 NHA TRANG, Vietnam (June 28, 2008) Lt. Todd Hlavac, a staff nurse assigned to the Military Sealift Command hospital ship USNS Mercy (T-AH 19), assists a Vietnamese patients to his wheelchair aboard Mercy before being discharged to a local hospital. U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Joshua Valcarcel (Released)

 

Obviously, not me, since I don’t have black hair.   😉

 

When I got home, had to use my own walker from car to apartment.  Good thing I kept it.

Never did make it to GNO.

Next time I take a shower, maybe I need to be hooked up to a safety line.

Paperwork

Saturday a paperwork catastrophe  occurred.

The sequence of events:

Bubba went for an eye exam.

DH and I met him in the parking lot, and drove him to a restaurant, (due to the fact that he was, ya know, effectively blind.)

We sat down in a booth.

Bubba handed me his paperwork, including a prescription.

I put on MY reading glasses.

Read his paperwork.

Texted DD2 to find out what presbyopia meant.

Ate dinner.

Gave Bubba a present. Pair of readers.  Coincidentally, they were for his prescription, 1.75!! ( that was funny)

Left restaurant.

Drove away.

Realized paperwork was missing within 3 minutes.

Tried to pull a U-y,

but inconsiderate drivers in front of us in the turning lane refused to get out of the way.  What would a little head-on collision hurt?? Can’t they see we have a paperwork emergency here???  Rude.

DH went back into restaurant.

Came back to report paperwork had been thrown away.

Wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Darn rushing bus boys!

Ironically, while we sat in our booth, there were 3 dirty tables, the whole hour we were there.  But apparently, there is a little known clause in the bus boy code of conduct that states: “Do not clean off tables quickly, UNLESS customers left something of importance.  Then, you MUST clean it within 5 minutes, or your pay will be docked 5 %.”

So, poor Bubba was left paper, and prescription-less.  Thank goodness we gave him those readers, or he’d still be blind to this day!