Agoraphobia Agony

Now, I’m not agoraphobic.   Thank God!   It’s nice to know there’s at least ONE disease I don’t have!   I have 99 problems, but that ain’t one of ’em.

But, I can and do sympathize, and empathize with how hard it must be for someone who suffers from that.   Or another serious medical condition.

Even with as simple as my medical needs are, sometimes it’s.just.too.hard.to.leave.the.house.

Since I was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, I always have my water bottle at my finger tips.   The other day, I forgot it, and I almost had a full blown panic attack!    Water is essential to maintaining my health.    (And yours too!)

my hand holding purple water bottle

There’s those giant man hands again!

(Note the purple initial Tervis, thanks Sweet Friend!!)

 

But, then of course that leads to the inevitable consequence, the constant need for potty breaks.   And that leads to the need for a tall potty, so I don’t hurt my knees.  

handicapped potty chair

Ooohh, love the handles!!

 

And a handicapped stall, so my fat butt doesn’t get stuck.   Seriously, it’s a concern.    One time, the stall door was literally so small, I could not go in.    Nightmare, anyone???  (BTW, I never went back to that restaurant.)   AND, my PTTPLSD  (Post-Traumatic-Toilet-Paper-Lessness-Stress Disorder)- What if they’re OUT????   {shudder}    Oh, the horror!!

So, some days, it’s just not worth all that hassle.

Not to mention, having to TAKE a SHOWER, and, FIND clean clothes!   OY VEY!   (Both of which require intensive amounts of positive self-talk to work up the umph to actually do.)

Found the perfect meme for this!

fat cat on bed trying to gather energy

Me- every day

 

So, if you’re ever in the neighborhood, and wonder why no one sees me for days at a time, I’ll be chained to the water fountain by my hands, and the other end will be chained to you-know-where.

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Choring Chair

This chair is hideous!!

 

 

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I was so excited that the lady left it, but not after I sat in it a few hours!!   First of all, the seat is wood.   Ergo, it’s hard.   DUH!

facepalm

Facepalm

 

My seat is so numb…..  and not the chair’s seat, either!

 

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Can you see the problem??

Maybe this view will highlight it better.

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The stake’s placements are NOT shaped the same way as my bottom line!!

{Eeew! And it’s dirty too!  But, haha! for once it’s not MY dirt!!   Oh no!   I sat in someone else’s butt funk!!!!!   GAH!!  I think I have to go boil my pants now!!  If only I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to do that, I’d have a dollar!}

Anyway, Sweet friend solved the problem for me.  Thanks Sweet friend!!

Purple Slob in computer chair

Ah! Soft comfort once again!

 

(Why are men so Logical??  That annoys me!!  But, I’m sure happy enough when he fixes something!!)

Now, I can comfortably be on my computer again, for hours upon end.

Lol, see what I did there???

Paperless Problem

Good thing I was already sitting down, because a horrible thing happened.  I had run outta tp!

This is shocking!!!   A tragedy of Herculean proportions for a Hawkins!  (my maiden name)

empty toilet paper roll

It hasn’t happened in years, and YEARS!!   (I have a serious phobia of running out, due to being really poor during childhood, and all the hideous experiences with running out of tp.  Nope, can’t even talk about it.  You don’t know what I suffered as a child!

Well, if you must know, it started out with the kleenex, which was fine.  Then it was the paper napkins, NOT fine!!  Then the paper towels, worse than NOT fine!!  And more worser- you can’t flush them!!!   Then Sears catalogs, then finally corn cobs!

corn cob

 True story! It happened in Grma’s out house!!  She was renovating the real bathroom at the time.  And it wasn’t long, but it felt like an ETERNITY!!   That’s when I almost didn’t go for a week!  (haha  Scared of spiders, snakes, and that ain’t what it takes to love me…)

I have PTTPLSD because of it all.   Post-Traumatic-Toilet-Paper-Lessness-Stress Disorder.  They had to create a new category in the DSM-V just for me.

toothbrush hates his job

So, there I was.   Stumped, had to think hard!  Ended up, having to use kleenex.   sigh   Coulda been worse!!  What if I’d only had paper towels??????   ARGH!  {runs screaming into the night at even the THOUGHT of it!}

toilet paper hoard

I’m not sure I have enough yet. Maybe 1 more trip??

Now I’m set!

Charity Chair

I have a gorgeous dining room set.  (Well, it will be once it’s all purple instead of green!)  I love the curves of the legs, and the airiness of the glass top.

dinette chairs(Please ignore all the clutter on the table, it was invisible to me until now.  Just play along, and no one gets hurt, capese?)

But I had a serious problem occur.  One of the chairs broke a leg.  How it did this, when I didn’t even know it went out running, I’ll never know.  Nevertheless, here it is, in it’s sad state.

broken chair leg

Poor thing, needs a cast.

broken dinette chair leg

So very tragic.

I wanted to put it out of its misery, like a horse, but how do you kill a chair??  So, I put it out by the road.  Fortunately, my SIL saw it, and questioned me.  He whisked it away in his ambulance van, and returned it to me the next morning, with its leg whole!  Miraculously, he knew a chair leg doctor that worked for thank yous from a sweet, blonde, (PP) baby.  Welded it up, and good to go!

Thank you SIL!!!!

welded chair leg

Better than new. I DARE it to break now!

Now, it’s on restriction, and forbidden to go out running ever again.  Next time, I’ll tie its feet together.

two uses tuesday

Strawberry Struggles

If you missed any of the story: go here:

Part 1, Strawberry City, part 2, Man Giant, part 3, Strawberry Banquet, part 4, Strawberry Love, part 5, Strawberry Slush, part 6, Strawberry Sickness, part 7 Strawberry Daiquiri, part 8, Strawberry School.

and got pregnant. Everyone was so happy that a Strawberry Grandbaby was on the way!

But, all was not well.  Strawberry Girl, and Ranch Man had been having problems.  So, Strawberry Girl and Strawberry Giant Daughter moved out to their own place.

A month later, the Strawberry Grandbaby was born to much fanfare!!

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Strawberry Girl, and Strawberry Giant Daughter were so thrilled!

Finally, Strawberry Girl was an Omie, grand mother, her second life long ambition, after being a mother!

She did everything for Strawberry Giant Daughter, and  Strawberry Grandbaby.

After 10 months, Strawberry Girl was so tired, and worn out, she didn’t know what to do.  Strawberry Giant Daughter had gone back to work, and taking care of a baby, and the house had exhausted Strawberry Girl.

One day, she was at a friend’s house, so unattentive to what she was doing, she tripped over something in the hall, and fell.

PAIN!!

A frantic call to 911.  Paramedics, firemen, confusion.

MS1_on_stretcher

To Be Continued……

Brand-Logo-HMLP-2015

Lost, Lonely Language

Last night I had the greatest post all planned out in my mind.. So amazing and funny.  But can I think of a word of it today???  Nooooooo, of course not.  sigh

So, what do I do?  Have a blank post here?  Or babble on and on about nonsense to up my pages read?  (Oh, wait, I’m not in the Kindle paid per pages program. Whew!  So, I guess I can cut my losses.)

Lostlanguage is the title of this picture from Wiki Media

Lostlanguage is the title of this picture from Wiki
Media, isn’t that hilarious??  I titled this post before I found the picure!

Okay, then, buh-bye!

(2 second read)

Tiny Tackle

Remember when I de-cluttered the huddles of hangers?

Here ya go, in case you forgot.  (You’re welcome.)

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It’s hard to see from this picture, so rest assured, I’ll take a better one.  But there’s a glass aquarium inside the white bucket.

Here ya go, view 2:

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(Yup, the bucket bounced into the donate box too.  Just in case you were worried.)

Really?  The last time I remember DD1 having a fish was 4 years ago!

Is she keeping the bowl as a memorium?  RIP, little fishie, RIP.

Now we can get to de-cluttering.  Yay!!  I know you want to!

Since DD1 left it in my house, it’s mine by the rules of possession being 9 tenths of the law.  Plus, finders keepers, losers weepers.

So, off to the donate box it goes, splish, splash. Okay, that’s taken care of (dusting off hands).

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Here’s the closet after:

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The can of paint?  Hmmm, that’s a harder problem.  I really don’t think Salvation Army would appreciate a half empty can of paint.  But, who knows??  What’s a girl to do, what’s a girl to do?

Probably not a good idea to pour it down the sink??  No, I wasn’t really gonna do that.  It would kill all the little fishies.

Maybe I’ll ask our maintenance men.  Hopefully, I  can pass off the problem to them!!  (Heh, heh, heh)