Quilting Quagmire

I had to have a serious talk with Melinda this morning.         “Listen here, Melinda, this is beyond ridiculous!!      Curtis has been waiting more than 2 years now for Shirley’s quilt!   (Since June 2015, to be exact.)       You are grounded until future notice.      Get over there and sew!”

She wasn’t happy with me, but she knew I was right.    So, in a little bit, she texted me these.      

                                                                       Ya happy now?

No, as a matter of fact, I’m not.     I won’t be happy till you have it done, and in Curt’s hot little hands!        So, get off the phone, and chain yourself to that machine woman!!


So, she did.      We’ll see how long it takes her to finish.      It’s already 3/4th done, for Pete’s sake!     And she doesn’t even have to quilt it!      All she has to do is piece the top!       (Curtis wisely confiscated the batting, and backing, long ago, figuring it would take her the rest of the decade to do it ALL.   Good move, Bubba.     You know your procrastinating sister too well.


I try to relax, and read, as the seconds, minutes, and slow, slow hours tick by.

Suddenly…

“YAY!” Melinda shouted, startling me.

“Are you done?? ”  I asked, ever hopeful.

“Yes!”       “Really? ”  I queried suspiciously.

“Well, I’m done with the width….”        Back to the machine for you!!  

“But I’m hungry!   And I need to go potty!”  Melinda whined.

“Fine, take a break, but make it snappy!” I growled.


(More hours, and then days go by…..)


“I’m duh-hunnnnn!” Melinda singsonged.

Oh my goodness!       Can it be true??        I think I better sit down before I faint!!

“Here it is!” Melinda proudly exclaims.

I pore over every square, and every seam.          Well, that didn’t work out very well, did it?

slob, humor, quilt mistake

Oopsie!       Nobody’s gonna notice 1 teensy mistake, right??

“Yeah, about that…..  mistakes happen, when you’re tied to the machine.     Makes it hard to maneuver.”  Melinda tried to justify.       “The important thing is , it’s DUN DUN!!”


All of this was optimistically written last February, before I started de-cluttering so hard.

And today is Tuesday, July 31, 2017.

So, yeah, Melinda if you would just seriously GET IT DONE!!       That would be great!

I tried!!       Really I did!

Tasty Tuna Two  explains what happened…..

.


And here we are on Monday, 8/21.      Thankfully, still 2017!

And it really is done!!

Seriously??          YES!!          See??

slob, humor, Shirley's quilt top

Ain’t it so purdy??

Oh, you mean the top is pieced.         Well, yeah, I said it’s done!          The whole quilt isn’t done until you have all 3 layers, and they are quilted together.

Oh, well then.        The top is done!!         I will show off the results to Sis Shirley on Friday, and regain possession of the missing 2 layers.       That is if Curtis trusts me enough to return them!!        He might decide to keep the top, and teach himself to quilt!        

It would probably get done in the same amount of time!

Kim’s Kwilt Komplished

IT’S DONE!!!!!

YES I KNOW o sorry, yes I know I was shouting, but it’s done!!!!!

First there was Kim’s kwilt    Then Kim’s Kwilt Coming, then Kim’s Kwilt Continued.

And now finally:  Kim’s Kwilt is Komplished!!

(I need to show you her pattern that she handed me 9 l-o-n-g years ago.)

slob, humor, quilt plan

All drawn up officially and everything!

After her college graduation passed, with no evidence of a quilt, I think she resigned herself to the fact that she’d never see it in her lifetime.  And the only way she’d ever get ANY use outta it, is if her grand kids hurriedly stitched it together for her burial shroud.   {These may or may not have been her actual thoughts.}

So we finally have arrived at the grand day!!   Her graduation as a Doctor day!!   (May 20)

I’m thinking of handing her the quilt, as she walks off stage, instead of the traditional bouquet of flowers.   Whaddya think???

Maybe not.        Especially since it was still in pieces on that glorious day.       

Therefore: I had to default to the flowers.

slob, humor, graduate ceremony

Proud Mama and Doctor!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back to the kwilt:

Blood, sweat, and tears have gone into the making of this historic quilt.   It’s the only one of it’s kind, (made by me), and will remain the ONLY one ever made by me!    Anybody else asks for a T-shirt quilt, this is gonna be their answer.

slob, humor, washing dishes

That’s my look too!!

Same look, different task

Have I made myself clear??   I think so.

Sashing the final 2 rows together.  

slob, humor, quilting

Final row being sashed! Yipee!

Preview, after top pieced together.

slob, humor, quilting

Top completely pieced together.

For the back, even more blood, sweat, and tears:

slob, humor, quilt

Do ya see the problem here?? I forgot to measure twice first!!

But, there were moments of bliss.

slob, humor, quilting

This is the finest example of a perfectly matched seam in existence today. Look closely folks, this might be the last one you ever see!!

Here it is Sept 26th, and I just now finished ironing on the letters for her schools.   Sad, I know.   But remember ALL the months of babysitting I did between May 20, and now??

Okay, on to the really good stuff!!   Drum roll please….

Ta-Da!!   Here it is in all it’s glory!!

May I present, Kim’s Kwilt Komplished!!!      

slob, humor, quilt finished!

It was already folded in half, cuz I wanted ya to see my face!

Now the back:

slob, humor, back of quilt

I’m almost having a headache from that lattice pattern spinning!

 

slob, humor, kwilt done!!

Finally! Kwilt done-done!

All pressed, folded and ready to ship!

I put much love into every stitch, Kim.   I pray it keeps you warm for many years, and brings you many good memories of me, and how much I love you.

(Yes, sadly it’s taken me till Oct. 21st to finally get it all done, but, hey!    At least it’s still 2016!!   (Only 4 years, 6 months, and 1 day late!       But eh, who’s counting??)

Sewing Sew Sew

What have I gotten myself into now??  I just finished the nieces baby quilt last, last, last Thursday (3 ago).  Now here I am starting ANOTHER quilt??  (For my Sister-in-law, Shirley- ya know, the one I promised Brother last January???)  Am I crazy??  (Well, that’s already well established, no need to answer!)

AND!!!!  I’m planning to do a Thanksgiving dress for PP!!!!!   I AM INSANE!!!

Just purchased the Thanksgiving material, (and Christmas too, if I MUST confess) for PP, on Veteran’s Day.

It was on sale!!  60% off the harvest, and 50% off Christmas!!  With a 40% off coupon!!!  I HAD to buy it!! Right then!!

(Even though I had to borrow the money, totally worth it!! to me, anyway!!)

I’m gonna be busier than “2 squirrels in a wool sock”!  (Thanks, Cindy D. for that saying!)

Shirley did come over and cut up all the squares, which I can’t do.  (Remember that pesky little wreck, back in February??

Boy, I do.  Every time I try to use my left arm!)

Here they are, in all their freshly cut glory:

cut quilt squares

Shirley’s squares

 

 

 

Gorgeous colors!  Brother picked them out, and he’s color blind!  Kudos to him!

 

 

Here is the material for PP’s Thanksgiving dress.  I just love these turkeys!!  Who could resist such cuteness??

cartoon turkey material

And I’m going to!

 

And ta-da!  Behold the Christmas dress raw materials.  PP picked these out herself!!  What an eye!

Oops!  I forgot to take that pic, again!  Bad slogger, bad slogger!   Meantime, please enjoy this lovely

Pic of Jackie and JFK, in their Christmas outfits.   Off to take that pesky pic!   (Unless I forget again….)

JFK Jackie Christmas tree

KN-C25669 12 December 1962 President and Mrs. Kennedy pose in front of the White House Christmas Tree during the Staff Christmas Reception. White House, Entrance Hall. Photograph by Robert Knudsen, White House, in the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Boston.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, so now I gotta chain myself to the machine again!  Hope I get let off for Thanksgiving dinner!  (Well, that will probably depend on how fast I get the turkey dress done!!)  If you don’t hear from me in about a week, please send food and water!!

Quickly Quietly Quilting

Update:  This is what the baby quilt looked like Monday evening at 9:38 pm.  (That’s when my bobbin ran out.  My arms were already yelling “Uncle”!!)  The top 4 rows are completed, and was attaching the fifth…

This is definitely a challenge: racing against the clock!!

baby quilt in progress

Starting to actually look like a quilt!

Uh, please overlook the mess in the background, as usual, I didn’t see it till now.  Don’t worry, fans, plenty of slobbery to go around!  The fount of post material is not in any danger of running dry!!

Just in case you have forgotten, or don’t know, this is the bobbin:

making bobbinThe teeny one on the right.

So, back to the sweatshop, uh, I mean the air conditioned factory of joy!!

Quilting Quietly

Disclaimer: This is NOT a sewing tutorial.  It’s a photo essay to document my quilting project, for my former sister-in-law.  Hi, Sheryl!  See, I really am working on it!!  (The baby shower is in 7 days, and the quilt has to be done, and WRAPPED by 2 pm.  I totally can do this!  Oh, I did mention this is for my niece’s baby, right?  Oh, you figured it out by it being my former sister-in-law’s daughter’s baby shower?  Oh, okay then.  I’ll just take off my Captain Obvious name tag now.)  The reason I do not claim it as a tutorial is, I don’t feel qualified as an expert.  But, I will be more than happy to show you everything I know.  Just don’t be upset when you get what you paid for!!

I haven’t been able to sew since my wreck in Feb., due to my injuries.  Graciously, Sheryl agreed to cut out the squares, if I’d sew them together.  WE make a great team!

Here goes the pictorial proof of project in process:

already cut quilt squares

Sheryl did all this prep work.

big little squares

Little for the front, big for the back.

cleaning sewing machine

Important step: Clean the machine!

laying out quilt pattern

Laying out the pattern.

Sheryl requested the diagonal patterns.   I can’t wait to finish it!  It’s made of flannel, so in addition to being so pretty, it’s sooo soft for the baby!

making bobbin

Making the bobbin.

pitiful scissors

Pitiful scissors, but can’t find my sewing shears. Why doesn’t that surprise anybody??

singer scissors

But, Look! At least they’re Singer. Right Stella??

sewing in process

Aha! Finally some actual sewing!!

sewing 2 squares together

After sewing 2 squares together, Guess what??

Ya get to sew even more squares together!!!  Yoo hoo!

pink and yellow squares

Can you spare a square?
(Sorry, just HAD to!!)

sewing boo boo

This is what a sewing boo boo looks like. DO NOT ATTEMPT AT HOME.

1 strip done

1 strip, and done. NOT!!
I wish it was a micro quilt!
Not really, JK.

Now that I’ve made my pictorial proof, I need to get back home and sew up a storm!  Baby showers wait for no (wo)man!!