Tilt-a-whirl

I just had the sickening feeling of the world tilting on its axis.  Horrible feeling!  Anchored to nothing, about to spin out into space!  Anxiety riding high!  Whatever in the world is wrong??  What’s happening??  Questions churning through my mind, even as my body is spinning in chaos…..

I quickly ran thru scenarios in my brain…..

Ahhh- that’s it!  I haven’t seen PP in over 24 hours!

wild eyed woman

what IS that HAIRY thing down there??? Oh, whew, it’s only my leg….

 It was grand baby withdrawals!  Baby DTs are nothing to sneeze at!!

But, now that I can rest assured I’m not dying, and the world isn’t ending…. (at least not this minute)……

I take a deep breath, and repeat after myself, “It’s okay. I saw her 30 hours ago, and I will see her again soon.  I will see her again soon.”

A comforting chorus of “PP loves me so much!!!”  softly playing in the background, lulls me off back to sleep, with a contented smile on my face.

back to sleepOf course I sleep sitting up!  Don’t you??  Oh alright, I admit it.  I adapted these photos that I’d taken for something else.

Gorsh, Gormless

What a great word from Judy, from Edwina’s Episodes.!! 

She does wacky word Wednesdays,wacky

and I just love them!!

beating heartI told her I’d try to incorporate gormless soon, just because it’s such an incredibly satisfying word.

Gormless, gormless, gormless.

Ain’t it just fun to say??

What’s that? You don’t know it, because you’re not British?

Oh goody, I get to teach you a new word!!  How wonderful!!   (And you don’t even have to run down to the library!!  Win-win!!)

Gormless is basically stupid.

with stupid

She has a lot of other fun descriptions, but today I’m feeling blunt.

Why?? Just because there’s no point.    Ahahahaha  I crack myself up.

Inspire Me Monday party

Heather’s Handiwork

Heather from Crazy With Love nominated me for a Sunshine Blog Award.  But, she did it so sneakily, I ended up nominating myself!  Go read it, and you’ll see what I mean!

(Be prepared to be snagged.  She’ll do it, too!!   Muahwawahaha)

sunshine blog award

Here’s the why come:

The Sunshine Blogger Award is given to bloggers who are inspiring and bring sunshine into the lives of their readers and fellow bloggers… to bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere… is a way for bloggers to get to know each other and also get other bloggers to link to their website.

I’m copying this next part directly from Heather:

To the ever evolving revolving-door of rules:

(Isn’t she funny??  YES!!)

1. Thank the person who nominated you in a blog post.

Thank you, Heather!!  I think one reason I like her so much is, she’s crazy like me!  And revels in it!  If you’re gonna be crazy, might as well enjoy it, I say!

2. Answer the 11 questions set by the person who nominated you.

Heather didn’t ask me any questions, I guess because she was so busy congratulating herself on so handily avoiding having to pick just 11 other bloggers!   Well played, Heather!

And this next part is also copied straight from Heather’s post:

This chiquita banana isn’t playing favorites. There are only so many hours in my day, probably in your day too, that I can spend reading. So if I follow your blog, guess what, I read it and I like it. And if you have had the insane patience to read all of this and find yourself here (X marks the spot) I officially nominate you because you deserve an award for trudging through my nonsense. Paste, glue, staple, or tape your blog link in the comments zone so other crazy campers can check you out.     (See why I like her so much???  So much in fact, that I ❤ her!)

So, join in on the crazy fun!  I dare ya!

Oh yeah, questions….

Hmmmm…

What is your ring tone?

Are you old enough to know what the AV club was, in high school?

How do you eat your peas?  Fork?

CAn you tell this is a fork? Ok, quit focusing on the huge bald head!

Can you tell this is a fork? Ok, quit focusing on the huge bald head!

 Knife?  

peas with spoon

You guessed it, the spoon

 5 fingees?  (yes, I MEANT to say fingees.  It’s just more fun to say than fingers!)

peas with fingers

peas with toes

Yes, my real toes, with real peas in between. Yuck! IKR??

(hopefully not with your toes!!  But hey, it’s your food, not mine!)  In the mashed potatoes??

Disclaimer: Real peas were hurt in the making of this post.  It was horrible, they were masticated to death.  So cruel.

Who let the dogs out?  (Now you know how old I am!  But seriously, Who?  I wanna know!  Whenever I ask people, all they do is echo-sing the question, then do that owl hoo, hoo thing back at me.)

Corduroy or fleece?

Mountains or molehills?

Solar or lunar?

(What does that even MEAN??)

What other questions should I ask?

(That was 9.  This is brutal!)

What color is your can opener??  I’m serious!  I wanna know!

(I just had to ditch my purple one, cuz it    wait for it    didn’t open cans!!!  I almost cried!!

purple can opener

But, it’s PURPLE!!!

Do you separate your laundry by colors?  Or just wash it all together?   (If you do it by color, and shudder type of fabric, we may not be able to continue our friendship.  I warn you, you’re on probation!!)

Okay, now, the baton’s been passed to you… run, Forrest, run!!

Graphically Gross

WARNING:  The following picture is graphically gross!  If you’re squeamish, cover your eyes, and chant rhythmically to yourself: “Lalalalala, I can’t SEE you!!”

smashed roach

Roach squooshed in my hand.

This is the “after”.  I did the deadly deed in the bathroom.  With my hand.  By PurpleSlob.  (Anybody catch the “Clue”??)

Okay, you can look now. All clear.

I know you think, (at least I THINK you think) it’s gross that I squoosh roaches with my hands.  In my defense:

  1.  My hands are washable.  Sterilizable, even.
  2.  Inexplicably, the roaches never respond to my shouted demands requests to sit still while I run and go get a shoe with which to annihilate them.
  3.  A dead roach in the hand is worth much more to me than a hundred running around behind my back, especially running around in front of my back!
  4.  I don’t carry a can of bug spray on my person at all times.  It interferes with my swatting arm.
  5.  I honestly don’t mind bug guts on me.  It gives me such a sense of personal satisfaction to cream them, by my own “hand”iwork, that I kinda revel in the bloody evidence of a battle well won!

I guess I could try wearing a chatelaine,

chatelaine

Chatelaine, 1765-1775 Victoria and Albert Museum no. -C.492:1 to 7-1914

and just add a heavy-duty fly flap, some of those suckers get huge!!  It would just have to have some sorta quick release mechanism.

Nah, it’d weigh me down too much.  Back to hand-to-roach combat for me.  Hoo-Rah!

Inspire Me Monday party

Adapt-a-Bath

Since I’ve been in physical recovery, I’ve had to adapt several things around my home.  The bathroom is one of them.

I’m apparently incapable of standing up for a shower, exhibit A, the falls in Oct, and before that.

So, now I’m tied down to a tub bench.

20150408_120143 Haha, not actually tied down, but you know what I mean!  Actually, it’s kinda nice to sit, and not have to worry about whether or not I’m going to end up on the floor!

And, I must use a shower hose, or whatjamacallit.

20150408_120155Oh wow, I did NOT notice how dirty my tub was, due to my slob-o-vision and all, until I saw the pic. EWWWWW

But the question is, now that I’ve seen it, what will I do about it?? Ummmm, you can probably guess.

And 1 last thing, the best of all: the raised potty chair! With handles!!

20150408_120222Let me tell you, if you don’t have one of these puppies, run and get one right now!!  If you are tall, the raised height is so comfortable!!  And the handles! Oh, the handles!!  Perfect for creaky knees, (to help my arms lever me up silly! I DO NOT put my knees on the handles!)

So, that’s what a doddery old person’s bathroom looks like.  Not that I’m old, exactly, just the doddery part.  Unless you’re under 20, then yes, to you, I’m old.

May you never get old yourself!