Seized Scissors

How many pairs of scissors do I have??

How many pairs of scissors do I need?   

For the Valentine’s party, I started rounding up all my scissors.   And I was seized by dismay, at all the ones I found!

First, the regular blades.

humor, plain blade scissors

Plain ole blades

And the “unofficial” barber scissors, that aren’t sharp enough anymore to be reliable for hair.

humor, slob, 2 pairs barbering scissors

Poor old “decommissioned” barbering shears

 

Then, the fancy blades that cut a pattern.

humor, patterned bladed scissors

Oooooohh! Fancy!

 

And oh yeah, my kitchen shears.

 

And the orange ones.

humor, gardening scissors

Good ole gardening scissors

 

 

I used them to deadhead the roses, since they don’t work very well on paper anymore. So, they’re my official gardening scissors (now anyway)

Annnnd, 1 more pair- my “official” barbering scissors.  Which I couldn’t find when I was hacking up my hair!

humor, slob, barber shears

My “official” barbering shears. Where were they 2 months ago??

Oops! I forgot the ones in the pencil cup!

And, I guess I have to include my sewing/quilting scissors.  

slob, purple sewing scissors set

Titanium even! Oooohh- fancy!

But, don’t you try to use them to cut anything else!  You’ll draw back a nub, mister!

So, I have __14__ pairs of scissors.  Does that mean I’m hoarding them??    But which ones do I give away???    I need them all!!   wailing and gnashing of teeth

Hacked Hair

Decided my hair was just too long, again!   So, instead of going to the hair dressers, like normal people do, (or so I’ve heard), I got out my scissors, sat down, and went to town.

The next day, my aunts came over.   One of whom requested anonymity, and the other was Sherry.    (My besties can easily figure out which sister she is.   Sorry, if you don’t know me IRL, then you’ll just have to suffer the curiosity.    Hope it doesn’t kill you, like it did the cat!)

When they saw me, their gasps were so loud, the neighbor yelled “Shut up over there!”   {Maybe a slight hyperbole.   Possibly.}  

purple surprised face

courtesy of pixaby 

 

 

Where was I??   Oh yeah, they were shocked by the hacked up appearance of my hair.   IDK why, since Sherry has done worse to me!!!

So, after we ate lunch, gotta keep up our strength!!!   The aunt who-wants-to-remain-anonymous offered to use the scissors to try to even it out.    {It was BAD y’all!!!}  

almost completely bald head

This was after the pass with the first razor. Pitiful, I know.

 

That helped so much not at all, so with a sigh, she asked for a razor.    And I knew where 1 was!  Yay me!!    I’m loving this organized-so-I-know-where-things-are-immediately change in my life!!!    There is hope, and recovery for slobs!!!

Anyhoo, so she attacked shaved my head down to the scalp.   She did the deed in the dining room.    Oooohh, I love feeling the wind in my hair on my bare skin!    It’s quite a delicious feeling!   I highly recommend it, if you’ve never tried it!   {Truly tho, attacked IS an appropriate word, since she snipped my forehead once!   In her defense, they were horrible scissors!   Cuz I didn’t know where my hair trimming scissors were.   hangs head in shame   And of course, I found them when I went looking for the second razor!    Too late for my poor bleeding self.

completely shaved head of PurpleSlob

No, I don’t have cancer! (I know that question is coming. I got it ALL the time last time I shaved.)

 

Another bonus, I get to spend less time in the shower!   I was already spending a whole 20 seconds lathering up my short hair, so I can “shave” off that time!    See what I did there?   Now I’ll finally be able to get to that 1 push up I’ve been meaning to do, and just never could find the time!

No more gray for me!!   Haha, now I can save that zero dollars I was spending every month on hair color!

Good thing I have a prettily shaped head!

Quilting Quietly

Disclaimer: This is NOT a sewing tutorial.  It’s a photo essay to document my quilting project, for my former sister-in-law.  Hi, Sheryl!  See, I really am working on it!!  (The baby shower is in 7 days, and the quilt has to be done, and WRAPPED by 2 pm.  I totally can do this!  Oh, I did mention this is for my niece’s baby, right?  Oh, you figured it out by it being my former sister-in-law’s daughter’s baby shower?  Oh, okay then.  I’ll just take off my Captain Obvious name tag now.)  The reason I do not claim it as a tutorial is, I don’t feel qualified as an expert.  But, I will be more than happy to show you everything I know.  Just don’t be upset when you get what you paid for!!

I haven’t been able to sew since my wreck in Feb., due to my injuries.  Graciously, Sheryl agreed to cut out the squares, if I’d sew them together.  WE make a great team!

Here goes the pictorial proof of project in process:

already cut quilt squares

Sheryl did all this prep work.

big little squares

Little for the front, big for the back.

cleaning sewing machine

Important step: Clean the machine!

laying out quilt pattern

Laying out the pattern.

Sheryl requested the diagonal patterns.   I can’t wait to finish it!  It’s made of flannel, so in addition to being so pretty, it’s sooo soft for the baby!

making bobbin

Making the bobbin.

pitiful scissors

Pitiful scissors, but can’t find my sewing shears. Why doesn’t that surprise anybody??

singer scissors

But, Look! At least they’re Singer. Right Stella??

sewing in process

Aha! Finally some actual sewing!!

sewing 2 squares together

After sewing 2 squares together, Guess what??

Ya get to sew even more squares together!!!  Yoo hoo!

pink and yellow squares

Can you spare a square?
(Sorry, just HAD to!!)

sewing boo boo

This is what a sewing boo boo looks like. DO NOT ATTEMPT AT HOME.

1 strip done

1 strip, and done. NOT!!
I wish it was a micro quilt!
Not really, JK.

Now that I’ve made my pictorial proof, I need to get back home and sew up a storm!  Baby showers wait for no (wo)man!!