Pre Preps

Pre preps for imminent, irritation Irma are on going this weekend.  I’m writing this on my phone Sunday night, as my desktop apparently decided it was time to desert this earthly travail.    Argh!!          (update:   Monday it came back to life, after I gave it mouth to USB port resuscitation!)

Talk about frustration!   How am I supposed to blog about hurricane preps on my tiny little phone keyboard??   Vewwy vewwy cawefully!!

Anyway, I took pix, and since I’m on my phone, they should be easier to insert.    Let’s hope!!

Water is always a first essential.    Got it covered.

slob, humor, water stored in the tub

Fresh water- yay!

slob, humor, Water Bob

My new best friend!

TY PopPop!              That’s for drinking.

Second essential is potty. Got that covered:

(I was gonna take a pic of all the tp, but you know what it looks like!)

slob, humor, water for flushing

Flush water- sooooo important!!

Next is food.

Brownies!!         Then peach Coke- of course!           I think that’s all we need.       ( I have lots of other food, it’s just not that important!   lol)

Lights:

slob, humor, flashlight, lantern

Lights- check!


DD1 took babies out of state.  So I know they’re safe.   DD2 was already out of state, so all’s good there.

XH had to evac his mobile, so I demanded asked him over here.   After all, somebody’s got to piggyback my fat butt outta here if the flooding is too bad!   Plus he has a 4×4 truck!

slob, humor, me and XH

Us!     Partying like it’s Hurricane Charley!

(He certainly seems to be happy to be here, doing all the prep work, doesn’t he???)


PopPop is safe at his work.

Grandmama’s building IS a shelter.  So she’s all good.   She’s having a sleepover with friends, in the laundry room!

Sister’s house is Cat 4 rated, so her and kids are safe.   Bubba and Shirley have a sturdy block house, so they’re good.

Let’s see who did I forget??   Oh yeah, Rose was already overseas, so she’s good.   And neighbor Jeannette went to a safe place as well.

All’s well that ends well, for us.    God protected us!!  

Praying for the millions still without power, and that lost their homes.

And still praying for Texas, and Louisiana.

Thanks everybody for all the prayers for us!!

❤  ❤  ❤


An Irma post.

#1        #2- Pre Preps, this one 

Quilting Quagmire

I had to have a serious talk with Melinda this morning.         “Listen here, Melinda, this is beyond ridiculous!!      Curtis has been waiting more than 2 years now for Shirley’s quilt!   (Since June 2015, to be exact.)       You are grounded until future notice.      Get over there and sew!”

She wasn’t happy with me, but she knew I was right.    So, in a little bit, she texted me these.      

                                                                       Ya happy now?

No, as a matter of fact, I’m not.     I won’t be happy till you have it done, and in Curt’s hot little hands!        So, get off the phone, and chain yourself to that machine woman!!


So, she did.      We’ll see how long it takes her to finish.      It’s already 3/4th done, for Pete’s sake!     And she doesn’t even have to quilt it!      All she has to do is piece the top!       (Curtis wisely confiscated the batting, and backing, long ago, figuring it would take her the rest of the decade to do it ALL.   Good move, Bubba.     You know your procrastinating sister too well.


I try to relax, and read, as the seconds, minutes, and slow, slow hours tick by.

Suddenly…

“YAY!” Melinda shouted, startling me.

“Are you done?? ”  I asked, ever hopeful.

“Yes!”       “Really? ”  I queried suspiciously.

“Well, I’m done with the width….”        Back to the machine for you!!  

“But I’m hungry!   And I need to go potty!”  Melinda whined.

“Fine, take a break, but make it snappy!” I growled.


(More hours, and then days go by…..)


“I’m duh-hunnnnn!” Melinda singsonged.

Oh my goodness!       Can it be true??        I think I better sit down before I faint!!

“Here it is!” Melinda proudly exclaims.

I pore over every square, and every seam.          Well, that didn’t work out very well, did it?

slob, humor, quilt mistake

Oopsie!       Nobody’s gonna notice 1 teensy mistake, right??

“Yeah, about that…..  mistakes happen, when you’re tied to the machine.     Makes it hard to maneuver.”  Melinda tried to justify.       “The important thing is , it’s DUN DUN!!”


All of this was optimistically written last February, before I started de-cluttering so hard.

And today is Tuesday, July 31, 2017.

So, yeah, Melinda if you would just seriously GET IT DONE!!       That would be great!

I tried!!       Really I did!

Tasty Tuna Two  explains what happened…..

.


And here we are on Monday, 8/21.      Thankfully, still 2017!

And it really is done!!

Seriously??          YES!!          See??

slob, humor, Shirley's quilt top

Ain’t it so purdy??

Oh, you mean the top is pieced.         Well, yeah, I said it’s done!          The whole quilt isn’t done until you have all 3 layers, and they are quilted together.

Oh, well then.        The top is done!!         I will show off the results to Sis Shirley on Friday, and regain possession of the missing 2 layers.       That is if Curtis trusts me enough to return them!!        He might decide to keep the top, and teach himself to quilt!        

It would probably get done in the same amount of time!

Facebook Fail??

Last Sat., I attempted something brand new!        A FB Live!!      (Yes, yes, I attempted to post a video last year, but FB Live is a whole ‘nother animal!!)

Oh my goodness!!       It worked to post here!!       I can’t believe this!!        So excited!    😀            And I did it all by myself!!          See, an old, gray mare can be what she used to be!         {I didn’t want to say an old dog can learn new tricks, cuz I ain’t no dog!!}

{I wonder why I can’t hear it??      Any way, I hope you were stocked up on dramamine!}

Since this was a brave new world for me, as you might expect, I learned a L.O.T. of lessons!

  1. If the girls are not picked up on time- Abort the mission!!       I repeat- Abort the mission!!          As Sweet sis-in-love put it so gently, “It was a little hard to hear over the baby’s noise.”      Yes, poor PPJr was singing the song of her people, loudly!!        My party goers will appreciate, and understand, if I need to re-schedule.       Trust!    {It came out in many different snippets, instead of 1 long video.}
  2. I am a lousy cameraman.woman!!       In my defense, it’s extremely difficult to juggle a camera, and a whining toddler, who is clinging to me for dear life!!     And that’s not even mentioning the pre-schooler who wants to help.with.every.single.thing.        Whether she is actually capable or not.        With the restrictions of not filming their faces, yeah, a good time was had by all…..  ahem
  3. Make sure all products, and demos are set up, ahead of time!!        No one wants to get sea sick from the wildly swinging camera views, as I go look for stuff!!     See #2 above.
  4. Try to not roll my eyes every 2 seconds.      I hated seeing it myself!!       I can only imagine how irritated it made my attendees!      On a good note, I think I was giving lots of good eye contact, in between rolls!
  5. An hour would have been long enough!!     I scheduled 2, but there was just no way!!
  6. Make sure there is proper lighting.       Watching a blank screen, while I try to figure out how to end the blackout, was probably not in their top 3 fave moments of the day.
  7. Learn how to actually do a FB Live, sooner than 24 hours before the scheduled event.        Maybe even practice once or twice beforehand.
  8. Do not nap until 1 minute after the start time!       Very important key step!!
  9. Hire a speech coach next time.
  10. Write a script, instead of trying to wing it, on products you only learned about 3 weeks ago.
  11. Actually remember to purchase the raffle tickets, when you promised to give away prizes, and give a certain number of tickets for different things.       Hand writing the names, then cutting them up, was rather tedious.
  12. Have a bowl handy to put the tickets in!      Using a box with open bottom, was not the best choice.     (It was flapped shut, just not taped.    So some of the slips periodically escaped.       Everyone patiently waited while I retrieved them, thankfully.         Why wouldn’t they??        They wanted to know if they won something free!!

A Norwex post.          (This is my business link.        I make a commission on any sales.)

slob, humor, Norwex

Norwex is the best!

#1      #2     #3

Shirley’s Sheets

Well, not really Shirley’s sheets, but Shirley took them.      And they’re not really sheets either, more like towels.      Well, one of them is an old, raggedy baby blankie.          But to a shelter dog, it’ll make their hard bed feel better, so we’re pretending they’re sheets.       Got it??      Good, let’s go.

slob, humor, donating doggy towels

Sis Shirley and me.

Another towel??             Yep, this one was not included in the __31__ count, since I had forgotten it, till I saw this pic.

Shirley volunteers at a no-kill shelter, C.A.R.E.      She has a huge heart!!          So when I told her I had a towel, and a blankie to give her, she was thrilled!!         And she drove all the way over to my house from Apollo Beach to get them!        JK!!

Actually, she was coming to DD1’s Norwex party, and I happened to remember them before she left!!             Yay!

She also cares for a feral cat colony, at her home.        She tirelessly feeds them, then traps as many as she can.        Out of her own pocket, she takes them to the vet, to get them healthy, then she spays or neuters them.

 

slob, humor, marked feral cat

What a great idea!! Pinterest.com

slob, humor, feral cats being fed

Google images.    Shirley’s cats would not pose for the camera!

 

 

 

If it sounds like I’m promoting Shirley to try to sell her, NO WAY!!         She’s our sister in LOVE, and you can’t have her!!         Go get your own!!


Another 8 house post.

#1            #2           #3           #4          #5           #6         #7         #8            #9         #10

#11      #12       #13        #14        #15         #16        #17

Delightful Dirt Digging

Last Friday night, when the girls came home, I decided it was time to introduce them to dirt.         Well, actually, introduce PPJr to dirt.        PP and dirt have a long standing serious relationship already going on.       Next to rocks, her 2nd favorite toy is dirt!   Sticks come in a very close third.

slob, humor, hierarchy of toys

PP’s Hierarchy of Natural Toys

(apologies to Maslow)

 

So, out to the dungeon flower bed we went.

PP jumped right into helping,

slob, humor, Omie & PP weeding

                              Omie showing PP how to weed.  “No sweetie, pull from the bottom!                            That’s called, picking flowers!”

and showing me all the rocks, and snails, and baby eggs she found.      I’m not sure what the “Baby eggs” were, but she enjoyed finding them!     ( Tiny white spheres, that were very brittle.)        And I promptly “Ooohh”ed and “Ahhhh”ed over each, to her satisfaction.

I tried putting Jr down in the dirt, NOPE!      She wasn’t having ANY of that!!          Every time I picked her up, then tried to put her down, she bent her legs 90 degrees, so I literally couldn’t stand her up!  

After 4 or 5 times, I thought,  “Ya know what??      She wants to sit??         Sit she shall!!”   And I plunked her butt right down in the dirt.      (She had dirt already on her knees from falling, as she tried to walk.        Maybe that was why she was so adamant about not being in the dirt!)

slob, humor, PPJr toes in dirt

No!!!           I can’t touch dirt!!

She was not happy!!    She immediately raised both feet, like they were scalded!!       And refused to put down her hands.       I just ignored her, and kept weeding.      Finally I guess she was convinced that I wasn’t trying to poison her!

slob, humor, sisters in dirt

PP shows little sister that dirt don’t hurt!

So, she put her feet, and hands down, and started touching the dirt.  

Next thing I know, she’s covered with dirt, and eating it!!       

Play date over!!

slob, humor, Omie and my 2 girls

We got a lot done, though!!            Yay, us!

Inside for a good old fashioned hosing off!!         Except, back in the day, I woulda stripped her, and hosed her off right there in the yard!!        Nowadays, we have to be civilized, and use the tub!       {Not to mention, Omie don’t want to get arrested for causing public nudity, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor!}

 

This is an 8 house post.         Due to Shirley’s aversion to the long list, I will skip it today.  You’re welcome, Sis.

Plotted Plants

The 8 House series:

(Which my Sis, Shirley, asked me not to post every time.    How’s this, girl?     Any better?)

House’s Home

to

Plant Play

Today’s Plan: Plotted Plants

After last time in the garden, I was left with a farmer’s French tip mani.

Actually, a negative French tip:  black where it’s supposed to be white!

But, I had hardly touched the flower beds, so I had to go back out, and brave the heat, once again.

So, Thurs morning, after I dropped DD1 off at work, I came home, and it was only 8 am. The sun was barely touching the side of the house, and the ground was still wet with dew.      I thought, “Eh, I might as well weed some.      Then, I’ll reward myself with a long nap!!”        You know how I looooove my naps!

First I had to just stop a second, and admire my work!!         Then face today’s task.

Do you how hard it is to bend over, and pull weeds??           When you’re 5’10”??         And have a big, fat tummy, from regaining ALL the weight you had previously lost???    

Just in case you have no idea, from personal experience, it’s very!!        Hard, that is.

I managed to get this much done, before I almost dropped.     I only weeded close to the lamp post, so I could lean on it.    I gotta get a gardening stool, or somethin!!  

slob, humor, half way weeded

Yay!! Good thing I have long arms!!

Yes, you can see the tip of PP’s shoe, because I took this after pic, much later!        And I believe that pale blur is PPJr’s leg.

By the time I get the whole flower bed weeded, it’ll be next year!!

I know that’s not very positive, but I know myself!!

Besides, I do have a very good excuse for not being out in the sun.         Really!        I do! The severest side effect of one of my meds is- the reaction of my skin to the sun.      It causes damage, not to mention how hideous it looks!

So, sorry, I can’t come outside and help you mow/set up your yard sale/ teach you to ride a bike/ play lawn darts.       My pharmacist said No!

However, if I park close enough to the house, I can usually make it to Vanronica, without bursting into flames!! 

 

Cleaning Clone

Our living room window unit was faltering.        The orange warning “check filter” light came on.     So I asked Sweet Friend to fix it for me us, which he did very cheerfully.

But then I noticed that the outside of the vents were still very dirty.       So, I grabbed a wipee, and started wiping.        

Then I hear “I wanna help!”          Well, never turn down a child who wants to help clean!!

So, I handed PP another wipee, showed her what to do, and sat back, watching her go at it!!

I sent a pic of PP cleaning the a/c vents to the family, which showed her face, with the comment that I was teaching her to clean.

Sis in love, Shirley, said “I’m still struggling to get past the “teaching to clean” comment. I don’t know whether to laugh, or write something slightly sarcastic.       Well, I guess I did both.”     😉

Hey, Sis, I’m in Slob Recovery here!!      The best way to make sure you’ve really learned something is to teach others!!         Bonus:  I didn’t have to work anymore!!       Win-win!

Now that unit works like a dream again.

Great job, PP my love!!

slob, humor, little love

My purple little love!!

Melinda’s Mothers Morning

Mother’s Day, May 14, 2017          

slob, humor, purple Mother's Day gift

Happy Mother’s Day, Melinda!

It was a wonderful day!!    OR “wunnerful”, as Laurence Welk used to say!!      (Google him, millennials; a famous band leader, had a TV show).

Went to church with DD1.     DD2 called.    I had a Steak-n-Shake Garlic burger, fries, {What GF diet??} and a purple milkshake.    

slob, humor, purple milkshake

Only the best purple shake in the world!!

 [Thank you Sweet Friend, for giving me the gift card!]     

 

 

 

 

 

 

Talked to my Mama; Sis, Brother, and Shirley texted me.

Went to new house, and had a Nap!!      Very important part of any great day!!

When I got up, unpacked 4 boxes.     Purged a small Walmart bag of new stuff from crafts, and threw away a half way full, small moving box of old legal papers.       They were from getting my disability in 2012.     But first I tore off all my names, addresses, and Social numbers!!     I shredded the tiny pile of that stuff, by hand even!!

By that time I was starving, well no, not literally!!      So DD1 got us each small pizzas.     She likes pepperoni, yuck!!      I only want cheese.    

slob, humor, cheese only pizza      Or, hamburg, and onions, if we’re getting fancy!!

Then, Sweet Friend came over, and asked where the screws were to put together the beige leather recliner.     How would I know??     I didn’t take it apart!!        And the take-apart-ee, never mentioned it to me.      But, DD1 and I had already decided we didn’t want it, due to its poor condition, and lack of space for it in living room.    

messy, messy recliner

                                                                    (Old pic)

So, when he said “Well, I can’t put it back together without the screws!      And then you can’t sit on it!”    We both looked at each other, with smiles on our faces, and said in unison, “Put it outside, by the road!”      He was flabbergasted!       We couldn’t really mean that!                 Yup, we did.           I said “Watch!    Somebody will take it!”         (I’ll be watching to see if that’s true.     But even if they don’t, trash pick up is in the morning, so 1 way or another, it will be gone!!     And I don’t care which way either!)

So, my first purge, at the new place has already occurred!       And I couldn’t be happier!!

Finally, to finish out my perfect day, I got kisses, and hugs,

slob, humor, hugs and kisses

Pinterest.com

 

 

 

 

 

from the girls when they came back from their dad’s!!

Nothing could be sweeter!

Christmas Crunched

(Written Jan. 6)

Finally Christmas arrived!!          Uh, Melinda??     I hate to tell you this, but Christmas has been come and gone for almost 2 weeks now!

Let me explain.

Our extended family always celebrates Christmas, on Christmas Eve.     But, this year due to so much sickness, we had to postpone till NYE.

Then, still too much sickness, so we had to postpone again!!       It was sad.      SAD, I tell you!!

slob, humor, sad

dreamstime.com

 

But, ever so hopeful, we have rescheduled for THIS Sat.!      And whoever is sick, has to just stay home, and the rest of us will carry on!!       I sure hope ALL can make it!!

Wed. I had to go to the bank, so I stopped by Mama’s.     She had grown weary of waiting, so she gave me all my gifts right then!!      I loved it!!       Thanks, Mommy!

(In case you’re wondering, that tiny dress is NOT for PPJr!      It’s for my bottle of dish soap! It’s not decent for it to be naked!     (Not to mention it’s blue, and is therefore hideous!)

                                                       There!!!    So much better!!

Oh no!    I just realized!     What am I gonna open Sat.?????           Well, I KNOW  Brother and Shirley have me a present!!      (She already told me what it is!)     And Sis already gave me hers, long ago.       (She’s almost as impatient as me!)

slob, humor, silver jewelry

Gorgeous!!

Thanks, Sis!!       So pretty!!

Well, guess I’ll just have to re-wrap some things for myself! lol

 

Nope!!   Sis had a bunch of little things for me!

And the wrapping paper was so gorgeous!      (no pix, of course….. sigh)      It was purple, (DUH!!)  with “Joy” written all over it!!

And this:

Is what Curtis, and Sis Shirley gave me!!!       I was blown away!!       So stunning!!        She is a professional artist!        I’m blessed to own an original Shirley Hawkins!!         Now, all I gotta do is get someone to put it up!!

(Oh Sweet Fr-iend!!     Oh, XH!!      Calling all my men!!)

Second Seven Seconds Sequel

The series so far:

Seven Seconds

Second Seven Seconds

As you probably remember, I didn’t get finished with the living room in an hour.  Shocker.   Therefore, this sequel is needed.

The timer stands at 1 hour, 3 minutes.      And the tree is still up, and the recliner is still full of clothes.      sigh    

Yesterday, while the girls were here, I made sure I told PP that Christmas was over.     “Chwissmas obeh??”        Yes, Darling,  Christmas is over for now.        We will have Christmas again later, at the end of the year.           “Chwissmas obeh??”    she repeated, still in shock.       Yes, baby, it is.

So, I had her take the last 3 ornaments off the tree, and put them away in the tub.      I hoped that letting her do the final step, would help her transition from Christmas to “not Chwissmas.”

Time elapsed: 10 minutes.        She was a bit reluctant!

Then I had her help me recycle a stack of flattened boxes off the dining room table.     (Oops!       That’s not living room!        Well, it kinda is, so let it alone.)

Time elapsed: 30 minutes.        Why so long??        Well, we had to load the boxes into our arms.   7 minutes, because she wanted to hold ALL the boxes!    And she couldn’t, so after we she picked them up off the floor, we had to start over.      Then, I have to take the stairs slow, another 5 minutes.     Opening the recycling, and her putting the boxes in, 18 minutes.  Are you serious???         Yep!      She is very methodical about her work!      Each box had to go in separately.       Apparently they were singles, not mates.     (Box, not sox, Jen!)

Gwandma Wose came over to help me load the girls into Vanronica.      PP had to be sure and inform her that “Chwissmas  obeh, and Sanna gone.”

The timer is now up to 1 hour, 43 minutes.

And the call went out to my men.       I need help putting the tree away, guys!

Tonight, my trusty helper, SF answered the call!       He came, he conquered!        The Christmas tree is sadly packed away for another year.

slob, humor, no more tree

Another 15 minutes added on.      It would have been less, but he had to walk all the way across the WHOLE porch, into the workshop!       Poor guy!      His feet must have blisters on ’em now!

An hour, and 58.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot what Pop did!     He brought in the front door wreath, and entombed  buried  placed it in the storage tub.     1 1/2 mins.          I think we’ll just round up there!

 

Oh no!!!       We forgot to pack up the “angel” tree topper!!

slob, humor, "angel" tree topper       Please dear GOD let PP forget this by Dec!!!         Too bad, it’s trash now!!

Time: 2 hours on the dot!!      I knew it!      And we’re STILL not done!

Hopefully we will all survive the deprivation of Christmas, for the next 11 months!

The last tackle: the recliner full of clothes, or as I like to call it, “the clothes hamper in the living room.”       I want so bad! to just end the post now.      But, gotta get it dun dun.     (Anybody else hear Mama say “DO IT NOW!!”  ????)

slob, humor, clean laundry as decoration!

And, I hate ta tell ya this, but…          What?          You forgot something else.           What??           Look up.          slob, humor, "all the holidays" shelf

Oh, bother!   Well, that’s just gonna have to go with the dining room part!        Putting up the laundry is all I’m gonna be able to do this month  week   day  hour.

(Work, sweat, pant, huff, puff, stomp, hang, fold, put away…)

Only 11 minutes??     Are you kiddin me??         Wow, that’s amazing!         Just don’t let Shirley find out that you put the woven basket of hand-me-down clothes in the girls’ room to sort out later!              Shhhh!     Blabbermouth!

slob, humor, emptied!

There!!       Doesn’t that look so much better!        I culled out 3 items- 1 pr pants that were so tight, PP couldn’t even get her calves in- but they were 6x! Her size!       I know, I know!!   And a sweater that PPJr had to wear one day, as an emergency, but is too big!       And a 10-12 Christmas shirt.     They all went into the “Can these be worn later by a growing baby/girl?” part of my closet.

Final total for living room: 2 hours, 11 minutes.      (The clothes I stashed in their room will just have to go on their total!)

Time to reward myself!!       zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz