major minimalist

Today I feel like bragging on myself.   Celebrating, even!    Nominating myself for an award maybe!

In at least 1 area I am a major minimalist. Wait- isn’t that an oxymoron??

Where was I? Oh yeah, major minimalist.  In the area of footwear, I am that double “m” phrase.

I only own 1 pr slippers, purple naturally!

quilted purple slippers on my feet

Quilted, warm!!

 

1 pr crocs for everyday wear. And I do mean everyday!  I wear them every where, even church.

purple Crocs

Comfy purple Crocs

(Of course I got them on sale!   With a coupon too!)

 

Then I have 1 pr closed toe black leather shoes.  For snow boots!! Lol

black closed toe leather shoes

Gotta be FRIGID to drag out these puppies!

 

I hardly ever break those out any more. Maybe for a funeral.  Except Jeffery’s.    The dress code was purple and red, so the Crocs were required.  Red for him, purple for Sis.

Don’t even own any flip flops! Cuz that’s what I do when I wear them!

It takes real talent to “fall” off those!   And yet I have. Sad when ya can’t even walk like normal people!!

So, a total of 3 prs of footwear qualifies me as a major minimalist in that area, wouldn’t you agree?

 

Tubeless

Guess what I just saw an ad for?  Tubeless tp!!!!!!

What were they thinking??   What will they think of next???414px-Toilet_paper_roll.svg

How will we know when to change the roll, if there’s no tube to sit there empty for days???

How will school children everywhere make their Christmas crafts now???

What now? Tubeless tube tops??

woman in tube top and jeans

Can you imagine her in any less?? Well, not going there!

 

The women who wear them are barely covered now!!  I do not want to see the re-invention of it without the tube!!

Think about it, what if they make tubeless inner tubes???

How will people get to the other end of the river???

tubing on the river

Yay! Tubing on the river!

 

Or the bottom of the mountain, without skis??

There will be a world wide shortage of inner tubes.   All the river floaters, and snow floaters will panic, and begin trying to slide  or float on cardboard.  Many, many people will die!!

All the inner tube rental places will go out of business.  This will cause the economy to crash, and everyone who is still alive will starve to death.

This is serious people!!  The implications are global destruction.  Please write or call your Congressman,person today!   Demand they pass a law to stop companies from making this evil personified tubeless toilet paper.   If you delay, you will be the cause of the whole world’s demise.  Shame on you, and all because you are too lazy to change the roll when it’s empty.