Paperless Problem

Good thing I was already sitting down, because a horrible thing happened.  I had run outta tp!

This is shocking!!!   A tragedy of Herculean proportions for a Hawkins!  (my maiden name)

empty toilet paper roll

It hasn’t happened in years, and YEARS!!   (I have a serious phobia of running out, due to being really poor during childhood, and all the hideous experiences with running out of tp.  Nope, can’t even talk about it.  You don’t know what I suffered as a child!

Well, if you must know, it started out with the kleenex, which was fine.  Then it was the paper napkins, NOT fine!!  Then the paper towels, worse than NOT fine!!  And more worser- you can’t flush them!!!   Then Sears catalogs, then finally corn cobs!

corn cob

 True story! It happened in Grma’s out house!!  She was renovating the real bathroom at the time.  And it wasn’t long, but it felt like an ETERNITY!!   That’s when I almost didn’t go for a week!  (haha  Scared of spiders, snakes, and that ain’t what it takes to love me…)

I have PTTPLSD because of it all.   Post-Traumatic-Toilet-Paper-Lessness-Stress Disorder.  They had to create a new category in the DSM-V just for me.

toothbrush hates his job

So, there I was.   Stumped, had to think hard!  Ended up, having to use kleenex.   sigh   Coulda been worse!!  What if I’d only had paper towels??????   ARGH!  {runs screaming into the night at even the THOUGHT of it!}

toilet paper hoard

I’m not sure I have enough yet. Maybe 1 more trip??

Now I’m set!

cupboard clearing

Kitchen cabinets de-cluttering project.  Cupboard just sounds so, British, doesn’t it?  I thought I’d add a touch of class here!

Bottom Left Cabinet  Beside Fridge

Bottom Left Cabinet Beside Fridge

Left Middle Shelf Next to Fridge

Left Middle Shelf Next to Fridge

Right Middle Shelf

Right Middle Shelf

Top left Shelf by Fridge

Top left Shelf by Fridge

Top Right Shelf

Top Right Shelf

Can you see the face? It's Grog from B.C. Comic

Can you see the face?
It’s Grog from B.C. Comic

20150525_175643I truly do not ever remember seeing this mug, before, in MY LIFE.

 

Before

Before

Oh my goodness, I can’t believe this.  I was just going through my pictures on the PC, and guess what?  Yup, I deleted these afters, because I “remembered” already uploading them to the blog.  Eeeerrrrgggh

I annoy myself.

Please imagine how great the shelves looked, all cleared out and de-cluttered!

They were fabulous!

Ooooohhh, the recycle bin!!!  Maybe there’re still there!  Everyone cross your fingers!!

Ah! So much better!

Ah! So much better!

Hurray for whomever invented the recycle bin!

Let’s see what else I can dig outta there…

(Nope, sorry.  I guess I had already emptied it too.  Darn me!  Why do I have to pick NOW to start tidying up the computer’s trash???  WEll, actually I guess it’s a good thing.  Virtual clutter is clutter too, I guess.)

Yay me, finding a moral in the story!

🙂

Questions

 

I’m sure you have questions for me.  Since I’m not a mind reader, I only play one on TV, I’m going to pretend I know what they are.

Why haven’t I posted any cleaning updates since Thursday?

Ummm, because I haven’t written any.

Why haven’t I written any you ask?

That would be cuz I haven’t cleaned since Wednesday. (hangs head in shame)

Oh, wait! That isn’t entirely true!  Friday morning I wiped the Thursday’s spaghetti sauce off the stove.  The baked on UFO,

(unidentified funky other-glob)  Not so much.  That part IS entirely true.

And I bathed Pudding Pop. Hey, that’s cleaning!!

I even took a shower!! Again with the cleaning.  And just now I turned on the dishwasher.  So there.

Okay, next question:

Do I think I’m funny?  Well, I’ve been told I am. (looks down demurely while blushing delicately)

And not just by my sister, either!!

Am I really a slob? OOOOHHH yes! If you need verification, I can provide witnesses. Again, not just my sister, either!

Am I purple?? Weeeell, I’ve had purple hair at different points in time. 

PurpleSlob with purple hair

PurpleSlob, purple hair

 

 

I wear purple nearly every day.  My living room curtains are purple, as are my reading glasses, and my purse.  I even have purple towels!  Not convinced yet?  Well, I can tell you I’ve had purple marker all over my hands before, and it’s not a good look for me! But sadly, my 1 (teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsy) tattoo isn’t purple. It’s a strawberry.  The bunch of grapes was WAY too big!!  And I’m a big chicken!  Plus, I’m from Plant City, FL.  The Winter Strawberry Capitol of the World, sooo it all came together.   Why I have a tattoo in the first place is a story for another day.

strawberry

Next!

Did I write all my comments myself under nom de plumes?  Absolutely!  After all, who better than me to know what I want to hear.  JUST KIDDING! Relax, it’s not a college paper, sheesh

Do I call my grand baby Pudding Pop IRL? (in real life)

Only when she’s in trouble. HA! When she’s in trouble her name really is “NO NO NO NO!”  And she knows it well!

How do I come up with the ideas for the posts?  Glad you asked.  My head is 1 giant squirrels’ nest, full of nuts.  Sometimes, I go chasing around and around in there, and something falls out.  Voila, a post idea!

Callosciurus_finlaysonii_-_Finlayson's_squirrel_(variable_squirrel)

By Rushenb – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=33630799

 

 

 

How do I have time to do all this writing, when I don’t have time to clean???

Sorry, folks!  Time’s up.  Come back soon, ya hear?