Bladder Blather

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Coming to full consciousness, as I’m lying in bed, I think “Why am I awake now?       I don’t have to go potty.”         Suddenly my bladder speaks up.     “I’m the boss here, not you!     I say when you gotta potty, not you!      And as a matter of fact, you DO hafta go.     Right NOW!”       “You’re not the boss of me”, I retort.       “Oh yeah??      Take that!”          (immediate cramp)         Sir, yes sir!       (mutters under breath)       Bossy pants!     

slob, humor, bossy pants

This is the ONLY result I got for “bossy pants.” Can you believe that???

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I obediently jump creakingly get up and go, like an automaton.

For some reason, my bladder is a male.     ????      Don’t ask me!     I’m just reporting the facts!

slob, humor, Mr. Bladder

Mr. Bladder. He may be a male, but he’s still mine, so he HAS to be purple      (Oh wait, he’s not purple, just the pic.   Oh well, who has time for nit picky details like that??)  

slob, humor, body parts quiz

shutterstock.com

 

 

Am I the only one here whose body parts talk to them??

 

 

 

 

If I am, that’s not unusual.      I’m used to being a weirdo       sigh

When I get back, (Yes ma’am, I did flush, and wash.  I’m not THAT asleep!) I check the clock.      “Thank you, Mr. Bladder for letting me sleep a whole 3 hours this time!!”       I have to call him “Mr”, since he’s my boss!       No fraternizing!

I used to be woken up every hour, instead of 3, so I appreciate small favors!           Wait, 2 more hours of sleep at a time, isn’t a SMALL thing!       Ask any mommy!        My Dr. had to give me meds for that, to train Mr. Bladder to quit being so impatient!         HaHA!      Who was the boss then??!!

Enough bladder blather!         I’m sure you’re sick of this topic already!

 

slob, humor, Porky the Pig

blingee.com

 

Whew!     Thank heavens for small favors!

 

19 thoughts on “Bladder Blather”

  1. Me too ! Always till my boss Cyn told me if the thyroid was overactive, one had to go multiple times at night even if they didn’t have diabetes. Who knew ?
    And I cut down on my thyroid medication and I am down to only one bladder emptying episode per night and my bladder is a Mrs.
    Susie

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  7. Can anyone tell me why I can go all day without needing to pee once (well, maybe once) but the minute I hit my bed my bladder screams, ‘Yippee! Time to play!’. And why is it that every single time I go trudging off to the bathroom about 5 times, trying not to wake up or put any lights on, that extremely scary middle-of-the-night scene from The Sixth Sense plays across my brain in glorious technicolor? Why? WHY?!!!!!!!!! I don’t just SEE the scene, I am right IN it and I scramble for the light switch and wake right up. I never ever think about Sixth Sense or any other creepy film and yet the minute I need to pee in the dark – there it is. And does anyone ever have that dream where you need to pee, you dream that you got up to go, you start to go and then you wake up and realise… Ok silence – so it IS only me – I knew it. 😦

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  8. My bladder is a pain in the butt, Melinda. It is way over active at night but can be quiet during day, even called a “shy” bladder by a nurse waiting on urine specimen. Cold air or rain are it’s downfalls! Hahahaha

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