Melinda’s Mothers Morning

Mother’s Day, May 14, 2017          

slob, humor, purple Mother's Day gift

Happy Mother’s Day, Melinda!

It was a wonderful day!!    OR “wunnerful”, as Laurence Welk used to say!!      (Google him, millennials; a famous band leader, had a TV show).

Went to church with DD1.     DD2 called.    I had a Steak-n-Shake Garlic burger, fries, {What GF diet??} and a purple milkshake.    

slob, humor, purple milkshake

Only the best purple shake in the world!!

 [Thank you Sweet Friend, for giving me the gift card!]     

 

 

 

 

 

 

Talked to my Mama; Sis, Brother, and Shirley texted me.

Went to new house, and had a Nap!!      Very important part of any great day!!

When I got up, unpacked 4 boxes.     Purged a small Walmart bag of new stuff from crafts, and threw away a half way full, small moving box of old legal papers.       They were from getting my disability in 2012.     But first I tore off all my names, addresses, and Social numbers!!     I shredded the tiny pile of that stuff, by hand even!!

By that time I was starving, well no, not literally!!      So DD1 got us each small pizzas.     She likes pepperoni, yuck!!      I only want cheese.    

slob, humor, cheese only pizza      Or, hamburg, and onions, if we’re getting fancy!!

Then, Sweet Friend came over, and asked where the screws were to put together the beige leather recliner.     How would I know??     I didn’t take it apart!!        And the take-apart-ee, never mentioned it to me.      But, DD1 and I had already decided we didn’t want it, due to its poor condition, and lack of space for it in living room.    

messy, messy recliner

                                                                    (Old pic)

So, when he said “Well, I can’t put it back together without the screws!      And then you can’t sit on it!”    We both looked at each other, with smiles on our faces, and said in unison, “Put it outside, by the road!”      He was flabbergasted!       We couldn’t really mean that!                 Yup, we did.           I said “Watch!    Somebody will take it!”         (I’ll be watching to see if that’s true.     But even if they don’t, trash pick up is in the morning, so 1 way or another, it will be gone!!     And I don’t care which way either!)

So, my first purge, at the new place has already occurred!       And I couldn’t be happier!!

Finally, to finish out my perfect day, I got kisses, and hugs,

slob, humor, hugs and kisses

Pinterest.com

 

 

 

 

 

from the girls when they came back from their dad’s!!

Nothing could be sweeter!

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Picked Pix

Does this ever happen to you?   You take a bunch of pix for your blog.   Then a week or so goes by before you remember to download them.   Then another week goes by, until you remember to even look at them.   Then, when you finally look at them, you think, “What in the HECK is that???   I don’t recognize THAT random crap stuff.   Wait, is this even MY house??   Did I even TAKE these pix???   Who am I???”

IMG_20170422_123632

 

slob, humor, termite hidey holes                    slob, humor, paper nemesis

 

No??  Just me, huh?

Memorial Memes

Ok, this Monday, we are doing memorial memes for Memorial Day.     No funnies, just respect.

slob, humor, military memorial

We need to remember our fallen military.

       This one makes me want to cry, the father mourning his courageous son. 

slob, Memorial DAy  slob, Memorial Day

Today we remember, and celebrate ALL our fallen military.     Whatever branch, whatever war or conflict.       They died for our freedom.      It’s our duty to live in a way that honors their sacrifices.

Thank you God, that we live in a free country, and thank You for all the brave souls who fought to keep us that way.

slob, Memorial Day

slob, Memorial Day

I used to blithely say “Happy Memorial Day.”     Till someone called my attention to it.   It’s not a happy day.     It’s a somber day.     It’s a thankful day, but not frivolous.

Stay safe, thank a veteran, and be sure to tell them, you’re glad they made it back alive.

 

Blue Blogger

Emily from Holden Down the Fort (her baby is a boy- hence the blue) nominated me for a Blogger Recognition Award!    Woo hoo!

Thanks, Emily!!

slob, humor, recognition award

I’m excited !!    Y’all know how much of an attention hog I am!!

She said she nominated me : “Because your blog is extremely motivational to me!”

That’s so sweet!

Now the boring part, those pesky rules, that dominate the fun.

  1. I must thank the Blogger who nominated me and provide a link to their blog. Gladly!
  2. I must write a post to show the award.        Happily!
  3. I must write a brief story on how my blog started.      Of course!!
  4. I must give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.         Hmmm, must I be bossy??   Well, I’ll try.    😉
  5. I must select 15 bloggers to pass this award on to.       Oh, must I???    Only if I want to be compliant!
  6. I must comment on each of their blogs to let them know they have been nominated for this award and provide a link to this post.       Cheerfully!

slob, humor, awards

I started blogging cuz I was getting sick (and tired!) of being a messy!!    And ready to be more like my (Cleanie!) Mama, and Granny, and Grandma….

I found Nony, from A Slob Comes Clean, who has now come clean as Dana, and that’s all she wrote.    Oops, not actually, she’s still blogging!!    LOL

I realized that I could begin recovery from slobbery, just like I was in recovery from alcoholism.       God delivered me from alcohol, and now I have to do my daily part, of never putting that first sip in my mouth, ever again.       So, in the quest for recovery from messiness, I have to do my daily part, of washing the dishes!    And maybe a little something else, like sweeping??

So, now I yammer on endlessly, documenting the messes, and celebrating my cleaning successes!     And nearly break my arms, in the process of patting myself on the back so often!

Advice:

Make sure you remember to take Before pix!!!      Extremely important!!        Cuz after you clean up the mess, you surely don’t want to try to recreate it!!

Learn how to take advantage of all the free blogging tools out there!!     Cuz being “ignert ain’t no fun”!!       My BBFFJ, BestBloggingFriendForeverJanice, can help you  with all that stuff.

My Nominees:

Sha

Madelyn

Barb

David

Coral

Melanie

I’m too tired to even try to count how many this is!!      In the midst of moving, AND had both girls today for 9 hours!!        Nite, nite time!!

 

Sarcasm Sought

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2010/jan/20/rise-of-the-sarcmark

slob, humor, sarcmark

Sarcmark- How do I love thee!

http://web.archive.org/web/20121016195826/http://sartalics.com/

slob, humor, sartalics

Sartalics- Where have you been all my life?

How many times have I asked for a sarcasm font???

Now, AT last!!!  Thank you Stella, for telling me about this!!  You’re my hero!!

I’m seriously in hog heaven! I can’t wait to download it and use it!  Oh, I hope they’re not just pulling my leg!!

This post is for you, Tasha!  Delivered as promised!    (Over 2 years ago.    I hope you believe better late than never….)

 

Okay, problem.  It’s downloaded.  And I can use it in Word.  But…… when I copied, cut and pasted, it reverted back to this font.

Boo hiss!!

slob, humor, boo hiss face

My Boo Hiss face.

Ok, back to the drawing board!

Torrid Tile Tale

There was a torrid love affair between a ceiling tile, Tina, and a door, Donny.

They were inexplicably drawn together.    Even though, Donny was too tall for her, and  every time he opened, he dug a deeper hole in her skin.     

“You hurt me”, Tina cries.     “It’s physical agony when you come to me, and emotional when you leave me.    But I want you to stay,  just because I love you so much.”

Donny apologizes.       Then says “Bye for now my love.   I must go.”          

“Come back!”  Tina begs.          “I will, but gotta go, now” soothes Donny.

“I need answers!” Tina cries.     “Do you love me or her?”      

Donny is torn between 2 lovers.

slob, humor, jealous door frame

Francie the frame

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The jealous door frame, Francie, tells Tina, “Huh- you think he’s yours?  Well, he ALWAYS comes back to me.”

Tina was frantic, and lovesick.       Her big brothers, Tommy, Tony, Timmy, and Tammy (Don’t you dare make fun of his name!!), decided to take matters in their own hands.   They visited Donny, and had a heart-to-heart.       By the time they had cut him down to size, he agreed to leave Tina alone, and never touch her again.

Tina was furious at the “T”s.      But she knew in her heart, they only did the best thing for her.     No one should ever put up with abuse, under the guise of love.

She pitied Francie, who learned one day to her sorrow, that Donny was not all that.       But by the time she learned the truth, she had had every board in her broken, and was left with 3 little door jambs to support, all by herself.

slob, humor, 3 little door frames

The 3 fatherless little door frames.

 

 

Moral of the story; Make the doors keep their splinters to themselves!

Router Ruse

Hide-a-router-in-a-book      

slob, humor, hide the router in a book

Lol, took ya a minute to even find the router?

This is pure genius!!      I hate my ugly router.  

I can’t wait to try this one!   But, but…. desecrate a BOOK?????   I’m not sure about that….. BUT, I hate my router!!    So, if a ruse like hiding it in a book works……  Maybe, just maybe I need to try it!   I might like it!

Hmmmm, I don’t have any hardcover books that size.   Shopping trip!    Thrift shop, or Salvation Army here I come!!

So, would this be recycling, up-cycling or re-purposing??  I get so confused!!

 

(Another golden oldie post, that has aged beyond good cheese.  And I totally took care of this problem by cancelling my internet!     Saved $1.25 for a used book!!)