Cookie Chaos Calmed

The cookie chaos lasted WAY too long!!         WE (and by we I mean they!) made the cookies on Sat. Dec. 13th.

And the table was still a mess on Dec. 22,

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but I was supposed to have it cleaned up by Christmas, so I could have people over.    Sadly, I found out on Christmas Eve, that only DD2, the girls, and Pop Pop were coming, so I knew I had more time to get it clean!    (NO ONE should ever tell me that people are NOT coming!! It just leads to no good!!)

Wanna know when I FINALLY got it all cleaned up?      Fri. Jan. 6!     And then ONLY because we were FINALLY having our family Christmas at Mama’s!       (hangs head in shame)      I knew if I didn’t get Mama’s rolling pins, cookie sheets and cutters back to her, her head was probably gonna explode!

So, I washed all the cookie cutters.

And the rolling pins.    And the cookies sheets, and cooling racks.

slob, humor, clean cookie sheets

And the table.    

Ok, Pop Pop washed the table for me.    ANYWAYS, the table was washed.     Does it really MATTER who did it????

Yeah for a finally clean, and clear table!!slob, humor, cleared table

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I know the hearts, but they are glued on there, and I for one don’t have want to spend the time scraping them up!!

Bladder Blather

Coming to full consciousness, as I’m lying in bed, I think “Why am I awake now?       I don’t have to go potty.”         Suddenly my bladder speaks up.     “I’m the boss here, not you!     I say when you gotta potty, not you!      And as a matter of fact, you DO hafta go.     Right NOW!”       “You’re not the boss of me”, I retort.       “Oh yeah??      Take that!”          (immediate cramp)         Sir, yes sir!       (mutters under breath)       Bossy pants!     

slob, humor, bossy pants

This is the ONLY result I got for “bossy pants.” Can you believe that???

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I obediently jump creakingly get up and go, like an automaton.

For some reason, my bladder is a male.     ????      Don’t ask me!     I’m just reporting the facts!

slob, humor, Mr. Bladder

Mr. Bladder. He may be a male, but he’s still mine, so he HAS to be purple      (Oh wait, he’s not purple, just the pic.   Oh well, who has time for nit picky details like that??)  

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shutterstock.com

 

 

Am I the only one here whose body parts talk to them??

 

 

 

 

If I am, that’s not unusual.      I’m used to being a weirdo       sigh

When I get back, (Yes ma’am, I did flush, and wash.  I’m not THAT asleep!) I check the clock.      “Thank you, Mr. Bladder for letting me sleep a whole 3 hours this time!!”       I have to call him “Mr”, since he’s my boss!       No fraternizing!

I used to be woken up every hour, instead of 3, so I appreciate small favors!           Wait, 2 more hours of sleep at a time, isn’t a SMALL thing!       Ask any mommy!        My Dr. had to give me meds for that, to train Mr. Bladder to quit being so impatient!         HaHA!      Who was the boss then??!!

Enough bladder blather!         I’m sure you’re sick of this topic already!

 

slob, humor, Porky the Pig

blingee.com

 

Whew!     Thank heavens for small favors!

 

Girlfriend Giggles

Why do I think this crazy girlfriend is funny??       Well, she makes me giggle!        Maybe because I used to be her??      Nah, that can’t be it!

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend  slob, humor, crazy girlfriend  Needy much???

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend                                    slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

  EEK!

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

  Bwahahahaha!

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

 

 

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend                                                      slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

She had prayed for a sign. (I may or may not have resembled this remark, in my younger days.)

There’s your dose of funny crazy fun for the day!!     Always helps to start off the day laughing!      Now you don’t need to work out, since all your muscles just did!

 

Katie’s Kindness

Kind Aunt Katie’s one of my favorite aunts!!       Only one of, tho, since I have several, on that side of the family.    ( Not naming the other side today, we ain’t got time for that!!)     Aunt Sherry, of the porch, Aunt Cathy,( Katie’s twin), Aunt Minnie, Aunt Diane, and Aunt “The One Who Shall Remain Nameless” that shaved my head, when I messed it up the last time.

Katie’s kindness, and sweetness, are trademarks of hers!

I always buy her a Christmas present, of some sort.      For a few years, it was a $10 Walmart card.       On the lean years, it was only a tube of Cherry Chap Stick.      

slob, humor, cheap gift

But it was the thought that counted, she always insisted!

This year she surprised me with a $25 Outback card!!!    Wow! Blew me away!   I love that woman!!

slob, humor,                             slob, humor, surprise!

I was so surprised, I was speechless!      (How often does THAT happen?????)

Now, I have to carefully plan my menu…

A GF Chocolate Thunder from Down Under for sure!!!

slob,humor, GF dessert

2 spoons?? I don’t think so!!!

 

And an $11 steak special!!            The big question,  “Will I have enough left over for a cherry Sprite???”

slob, humor, steak special      slob, humor, drink

                           Oh brother, there I go slobbering on the keyboard again!

 

Oatmeal Ohs

How to make oatmeal in 33 easy minutely detailed steps.

  • Decide you want to eat oatmeal.
  • Get out supplies.    
  • Oatmeal.     slob, humor, breakfast
  • Salt.
  • Bowl.  slob, humor, bowl    (Yours is not required to be purple.    But it is recommended.)
  • Spoon.    
  • Measuring cups.     slob, humor, measuring devices      (Purple crocs not necessary.)
  • Brown sugar.

slob, humor, brown sugar

  • Open oatmeal canister.
  • Measure out oatmeal.

slob, humor, scooping oats

  • Pour oatmeal into bowl.
  • Shut oatmeal canister.
  • Turn on water faucet.          

 slob, humor, water running

  • Measure water.
  • Turn off faucet.
  • Pour water into bowl.
  • Sprinkle in some salt.     (Important!    Sprinkle- not pour!!)                                                                                                                                                                  slob, humor, salting the oats
  • Stir.
  • Pick up bowl.
  • Walk over to microwave.
  • Open microwave.
  • Put bowl in microwave.
  • Set timer.        slob, humor, setting timer
  • Very important!!   Do not forget!!     Hit “start”.
  • Wait for timer to go off.
  • Open microwave door.
  • Get out bowl of oatmeal.                       slob, humor, remove bowl                             
  • Walk to table.     (Couldn’t document this step.    I can’t walk, and talk even!     Never mind trying to take a pic!)
  • Sit down.
  • Go back and get forgotten spoon.
  • Eat!
  • Enjoy!      slob, humor, feeding self     Yummy!
  • Write post.

That was so excruciatingly torturous, my eyes are starting to bleed!!!          

Well, you wanted me to get off Christmas!!

ARGH!!!!

 

Seven Seconds

From my BBFFJs linky party:  Inspire Me Monday. on Jan.2.

I saw this pic, from Ashley Phipps,

and it intrigued me.

http://simplydesigning.porch.com/7-hours-to-a-decluttered-home.      After I read it, I commented that I knew for sure it would take me more than 7 hours, because I’ve already spent 2 1/2 years de-cluttering, and now I have a house, screened porch, shed and workshop full STILL!!

But, I’m thinking I will print out her printable, follow it, and keep track of my time.  Then when I finish the 7 hours, let her know how far I got.      I could even make it my own 7 hour de-cluttering challenge!!       Of course, I’d link back to her, since it’s all her idea, and printable!

So, not sure which route I’ll go yet.   But definitely will do at least the 7 hours!!     But I better hurry!        Soon Queen Anne will be back at the Paper Purgathon again!  

slob, humor, challenge

And I better be prepared to dive in with her!!       I promised!

So, the “seven” in the title is for 7 hours/7 days.   The “seconds”  is for the more than once, that I’ve de-cluttered!

Paper Purgathon Paused

slob, humor, challenge

 

You’ve probably been wondering when I’d get back to the Paper Purgathon.        I just know it’s been bothering you, that I would just leave it hanging like I did.

Well, personally I had to pause it, to concentrate on Christmas prep.

 

And poor Queen Anne was felled by that massive migraine, that turned into a month long ordeal.    As I mentioned in Paper Purgathon Perch.       (We were both praying she’d survive.     It was catastrophic.)     So she was in pause mode as well.    All in all, we agreed all around to discontinue until 2017.

Now you know the rest of the story.