Flaunting Florida

Welcome to another edition of Florida flaunting!

First we had Florida Flippancies, then Flipped over Flippancies, and ended up with Florida Funnies.

Since it’s winter here, well up North, down here it’s bi-polar winter.      Cold one day, blistering hot the next!      But hey, better than 6 ft of snow, I’ll say!

Where was I?     Oh yeah, winter.    Since it’s winter, it’s time for some more Florida sunshine!       And by that, I mean smiles, and hopefully lots of laughs!

slob, humor, FL meme

slob, humor, FL meme

I love this one!!       Where do I order that first sweater??

slob, humor, FL meme

No lie!!

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Our poor kids have PTSD from wildlife encounters!

slob, humor, FL meme

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aaaahhhh!      This is the life!

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All the seasons in 1 week??     Yep!     We like to mix it up down here!

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slob, humor, FL meme

This one’s not funny, just true!

 

slob, humor, FL meme

slob, humor, FL meme

Layers, people, dress in layers!

slob, humor, FL meme

What?? You can protest winter??? I had no idea!

And to wrap things up:

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Don’t worry!     They will about 11 am tomorrow!

That’s my Florida folks!!     If ya got it, flaunt it!

 

 

Bad Brian’s Bwahahahas

Of course Brian’s full name is Bad Luck Brian, but you know why I had to leave out the “L” word.

Just like the Crazy Girlfriend, I love Bad Luck Brian!     His memes are full of bwhahahahas!   Even tho his life is one big tragedy, ya just can’t help but look, just like a wreck!

slob, humor, Bad Luck Brian meme  slob, humor, Bad Luck Brian meme slob, humor, Bad Luck Brian memeslob, humor, Bad Luck Brian memeslob, humor, Bad Luck Brian meme

slob, humor, Bad Luck Brian meme   Oh the agony!!  Probably his twin brother too!!    Ouch!

slob,humor, Bad Luck Brian meme  slob, Bad Luck Brian meme slob, humor, Bad Luck Brian memeslob, humor, Bad Luck Brian meme

End of poor Bad Luck Brian’s sad story of sorrow.

 

Shower Shopping

We ALL know how much I hate my blue shower curtain, right??      

                 (And those nasty, green/blue shower hooks!      They made me shudder!!)

  Yes, Melinda, we know.          Okay, then.     Here’s the story of shopping for a new one.

I only had a dollar, and 7 cents.      So, of course I headed to the Dollar Tree.        Love that store!!         I was on a mission.       Get a new shower curtain, or bust!       (Bonus: if I couldn’t find one, I could always get some chocolate bananas as a consolation prize!)

Here’s the selection I found.

Ummmm, not to my taste, to put it delicately.        Frankly, all the patterned ones were U to the G ugly!         The plain white one would have to do, I guess.   sigh       Since the one you might think was purple, was actually a dull blue.     😦

I was impressed however, with the variety!       Considering that they were only a dollar each!

I persevered, and found a clear one.      YAY!!      Then I could still see my ugly walls!!       Ugh.

So, I brought home the clear one.     And it sat.   And it sat…….      Too many “sat”s to say.  

Months went by.          One day, when Sis came over to take me penny shopping at Dollar General, I went by the shower curtain aisle, and found these.

slob, humor, pretty shower curtain hooks

Only $4!!      And they’ll dress up that plain clear curtain, so prettily!!         But, still they sat, and sat, and sat.

I just had no energy to put up the clear curtain, even tho I had these pretty rings to dress it up.        sigh

I was discouraged.

Then something wonderful happened!!        I went to a different DG, with Mama, and lo and behold, what did I see???       Could it be???      YES!!    A purple, honest to goodness purple, shower curtain!!       After I recovered from my swoon, I scooped it up and RAN to the checkout!!          I asked Mama, “Is this purple, like I think it is??”       (Just to make SURE my eyes weren’t deceiving me!!)                   When she said, “Yes”, I almost wept in relief!

slob, humor, PURPLE!! IT"S PURPLE shower curtain           slob, humor, dead blue ugly shower curtain

Haha!      I’m so happy to see the last of that blah blue blob, that I want to dance a jig on its grave!       (But!   Seeing as how I probably couldn’t fit my ski-boat feet into that little garbage can, I better restrain myself!!       But I’m doing it in my head!!)

NOW!!     Introducing my new and improved, beautiful to behold: Purple Shower Curtain!!

slob, humor, so gorgeous!! purple!!

Good eye!    Yup, I’m missing one ring.     I didn’t even notice, (even tho the bottom of the package was slit open, I thought maybe XH had opened it for me) until I hung them all up, and 1 was missing.  

slob, humor, waaaahhhh!(IF you’re wondering about the circles over the eyes, they are see thru holes. This was a mask.)

Ta da!

slob, humor, shower hook as jewelry    I will just focus on all the pretty purple, and fabulous fuschia, and ignore the 1 teeny, tiny flaw.

Now, I’ll probably start living in the shower, instead of on my computer!


Update:  The missing ring had fallen on the rug, that’s why I didn’t hear it!!    I didn’t see it either.     Later, XH saw it, and put it up for me as a surprise!!       Thank you XH!!        All is blissful, and beautiful!!

 

Christmas Crunched

(Written Jan. 6)

Finally Christmas arrived!!          Uh, Melinda??     I hate to tell you this, but Christmas has been come and gone for almost 2 weeks now!

Let me explain.

Our extended family always celebrates Christmas, on Christmas Eve.     But, this year due to so much sickness, we had to postpone till NYE.

Then, still too much sickness, so we had to postpone again!!       It was sad.      SAD, I tell you!!

slob, humor, sad

dreamstime.com

 

But, ever so hopeful, we have rescheduled for THIS Sat.!      And whoever is sick, has to just stay home, and the rest of us will carry on!!       I sure hope ALL can make it!!

Wed. I had to go to the bank, so I stopped by Mama’s.     She had grown weary of waiting, so she gave me all my gifts right then!!      I loved it!!       Thanks, Mommy!

(In case you’re wondering, that tiny dress is NOT for PPJr!      It’s for my bottle of dish soap! It’s not decent for it to be naked!     (Not to mention it’s blue, and is therefore hideous!)

                                                       There!!!    So much better!!

Oh no!    I just realized!     What am I gonna open Sat.?????           Well, I KNOW  Brother and Shirley have me a present!!      (She already told me what it is!)     And Sis already gave me hers, long ago.       (She’s almost as impatient as me!)

slob, humor, silver jewelry

Gorgeous!!

Thanks, Sis!!       So pretty!!

Well, guess I’ll just have to re-wrap some things for myself! lol

 

Nope!!   Sis had a bunch of little things for me!

And the wrapping paper was so gorgeous!      (no pix, of course….. sigh)      It was purple, (DUH!!)  with “Joy” written all over it!!

And this:

Is what Curtis, and Sis Shirley gave me!!!       I was blown away!!       So stunning!!        She is a professional artist!        I’m blessed to own an original Shirley Hawkins!!         Now, all I gotta do is get someone to put it up!!

(Oh Sweet Fr-iend!!     Oh, XH!!      Calling all my men!!)

Cookie Chaos Calmed

The cookie chaos lasted WAY too long!!         WE (and by we I mean they!) made the cookies on Sat. Dec. 13th.

And the table was still a mess on Dec. 22,

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but I was supposed to have it cleaned up by Christmas, so I could have people over.    Sadly, I found out on Christmas Eve, that only DD2, the girls, and Pop Pop were coming, so I knew I had more time to get it clean!    (NO ONE should ever tell me that people are NOT coming!! It just leads to no good!!)

Wanna know when I FINALLY got it all cleaned up?      Fri. Jan. 6!     And then ONLY because we were FINALLY having our family Christmas at Mama’s!       (hangs head in shame)      I knew if I didn’t get Mama’s rolling pins, cookie sheets and cutters back to her, her head was probably gonna explode!

So, I washed all the cookie cutters.

And the rolling pins.    And the cookies sheets, and cooling racks.

slob, humor, clean cookie sheets

And the table.    

Ok, Pop Pop washed the table for me.    ANYWAYS, the table was washed.     Does it really MATTER who did it????

Yeah for a finally clean, and clear table!!slob, humor, cleared table

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I know the hearts, but they are glued on there, and I for one don’t have want to spend the time scraping them up!!

Bladder Blather

Coming to full consciousness, as I’m lying in bed, I think “Why am I awake now?       I don’t have to go potty.”         Suddenly my bladder speaks up.     “I’m the boss here, not you!     I say when you gotta potty, not you!      And as a matter of fact, you DO hafta go.     Right NOW!”       “You’re not the boss of me”, I retort.       “Oh yeah??      Take that!”          (immediate cramp)         Sir, yes sir!       (mutters under breath)       Bossy pants!     

slob, humor, bossy pants

This is the ONLY result I got for “bossy pants.” Can you believe that???

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I obediently jump creakingly get up and go, like an automaton.

For some reason, my bladder is a male.     ????      Don’t ask me!     I’m just reporting the facts!

slob, humor, Mr. Bladder

Mr. Bladder. He may be a male, but he’s still mine, so he HAS to be purple      (Oh wait, he’s not purple, just the pic.   Oh well, who has time for nit picky details like that??)  

slob, humor, body parts quiz

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Am I the only one here whose body parts talk to them??

 

 

 

 

If I am, that’s not unusual.      I’m used to being a weirdo       sigh

When I get back, (Yes ma’am, I did flush, and wash.  I’m not THAT asleep!) I check the clock.      “Thank you, Mr. Bladder for letting me sleep a whole 3 hours this time!!”       I have to call him “Mr”, since he’s my boss!       No fraternizing!

I used to be woken up every hour, instead of 3, so I appreciate small favors!           Wait, 2 more hours of sleep at a time, isn’t a SMALL thing!       Ask any mommy!        My Dr. had to give me meds for that, to train Mr. Bladder to quit being so impatient!         HaHA!      Who was the boss then??!!

Enough bladder blather!         I’m sure you’re sick of this topic already!

 

slob, humor, Porky the Pig

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Whew!     Thank heavens for small favors!

 

Girlfriend Giggles

Why do I think this crazy girlfriend is funny??       Well, she makes me giggle!        Maybe because I used to be her??      Nah, that can’t be it!

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend  slob, humor, crazy girlfriend  Needy much???

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend                                    slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

  EEK!

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

  Bwahahahaha!

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

 

 

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend                                                      slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

slob, humor, crazy girlfriend

She had prayed for a sign. (I may or may not have resembled this remark, in my younger days.)

There’s your dose of funny crazy fun for the day!!     Always helps to start off the day laughing!      Now you don’t need to work out, since all your muscles just did!