Dear D.

 

Dear Cindy D:                                                                                      1/20/2017

I have a whole 3 day weekend off!      SIL took the girls to see his mamma.    Whew!!       I’m giddy with delight!!              Whatever will I do??!!

Slept late, yay!        Showered, yay again!        Went to free lunch to hear Michelle speak on Tamar.     (She acts out skits on women in the Bible.     Tamar’s story is found in Genesis 38, verses 6-30.)      She did an excellent job, as always!!        

slob, humor, Sis as Biblical Tamar

 

 

 

 

 

Went to Mama’s for a pork chop, (the free lunch was about worth what we paid today.   VERY skimpy!! ) and some blackberry cobbler. (and swiped the remainder of it!!     I didn’t want it to go to waste.     I was being considerate!)

Stopped by a realtors.   slob, humor, realtor         Talked about my pitiful situation.         I had already been in contact with a mortgage broker.         My credit is finally hi enough to qualify for a mortgage!!              My income qualifies me for $25,000!!       Hurray!  I can have my choice of imaginary, burned out, 1/1 houses on 5’x5′ lots!!            Woo hoo!              But only in black!      (Henry Ford reference.)

Oh, I forgot that I hadn’t even told you I wanted to move!         I know, I know!       I just moved a year ago!       (13 months to be exact.      There’s that pesky math again!)       I’m longing to be back home in Plant City again.        Being so close, and yet so far, for the last 3 years, I feel kinda like I’m in exile!

Got home at 4, and started the “C” word!            COOKING???           Yes, I said Cooking!              Pick yoreself up off the floor, woman!

slob, humor

Aunt “Nameless”  gave me a yummy recipe that only takes 3 hours on hi, in the crock pot. So, I’ll be noshing at midnight.       LOL             Uh, Melinda?                Yeah?            4 + 3= 7, not midnight!        It doesn’t??            (shakes head no)        Oh well, it took me 45 minutes to get the food INTO the pot!       So, I just kinda rounded up!

I do have to remember that math is not your forte!!

Exactly!

I’m also re-de-cluttering.  I’ve got to rid of so much stuff!!        Ok, well, time to quit yakking, and go work!

Aww, who am I kiddin??           I cooked!         And that’s all the work I’m gonna do today!

Blogging don’t count as work! I love it too much! Although, it totally IS work!

Love, Melinda

Cookie Chaos Calmed

The cookie chaos lasted WAY too long!!         WE (and by we I mean they!) made the cookies on Sat. Dec. 13th.

And the table was still a mess on Dec. 22,

img_20161222_094041

but I was supposed to have it cleaned up by Christmas, so I could have people over.    Sadly, I found out on Christmas Eve, that only DD2, the girls, and Pop Pop were coming, so I knew I had more time to get it clean!    (NO ONE should ever tell me that people are NOT coming!! It just leads to no good!!)

Wanna know when I FINALLY got it all cleaned up?      Fri. Jan. 6!     And then ONLY because we were FINALLY having our family Christmas at Mama’s!       (hangs head in shame)      I knew if I didn’t get Mama’s rolling pins, cookie sheets and cutters back to her, her head was probably gonna explode!

So, I washed all the cookie cutters.

And the rolling pins.    And the cookies sheets, and cooling racks.

slob, humor, clean cookie sheets

And the table.    

Ok, Pop Pop washed the table for me.    ANYWAYS, the table was washed.     Does it really MATTER who did it????

Yeah for a finally clean, and clear table!!slob, humor, cleared table

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I know the hearts, but they are glued on there, and I for one don’t have want to spend the time scraping them up!!

Oatmeal Ohs

How to make oatmeal in 33 easy minutely detailed steps.

  • Decide you want to eat oatmeal.
  • Get out supplies.    
  • Oatmeal.     slob, humor, breakfast
  • Salt.
  • Bowl.  slob, humor, bowl    (Yours is not required to be purple.    But it is recommended.)
  • Spoon.    
  • Measuring cups.     slob, humor, measuring devices      (Purple crocs not necessary.)
  • Brown sugar.

slob, humor, brown sugar

  • Open oatmeal canister.
  • Measure out oatmeal.

slob, humor, scooping oats

  • Pour oatmeal into bowl.
  • Shut oatmeal canister.
  • Turn on water faucet.          

 slob, humor, water running

  • Measure water.
  • Turn off faucet.
  • Pour water into bowl.
  • Sprinkle in some salt.     (Important!    Sprinkle- not pour!!)                                                                                                                                                                  slob, humor, salting the oats
  • Stir.
  • Pick up bowl.
  • Walk over to microwave.
  • Open microwave.
  • Put bowl in microwave.
  • Set timer.        slob, humor, setting timer
  • Very important!!   Do not forget!!     Hit “start”.
  • Wait for timer to go off.
  • Open microwave door.
  • Get out bowl of oatmeal.                       slob, humor, remove bowl                             
  • Walk to table.     (Couldn’t document this step.    I can’t walk, and talk even!     Never mind trying to take a pic!)
  • Sit down.
  • Go back and get forgotten spoon.
  • Eat!
  • Enjoy!      slob, humor, feeding self     Yummy!
  • Write post.

That was so excruciatingly torturous, my eyes are starting to bleed!!!          

Well, you wanted me to get off Christmas!!

ARGH!!!!

 

Cookie Chaos

Grandmama, Aunt Michelle, Cousins Kristen and Jaime came over on Sat. Dec 13th to make sugar cookies.     And they were wonderful!!     We  ate ’em as fast as they came outta the oven, almost!

 

PP had her own tiny rolling pin!     So cute!    

slob, humor, tiny rolling pin

And she knew how to use it too, buddy!      Grandmama set that lump of dough in front of PP, and she went at it!       Grandmama stood there in astonishment!  “But, I didn’t even tell her what to do yet!”      We have a genius on our hands!!

(Maybe this will help show the scale of the rolling pin. slob, humor, big boy, little rolling pin

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, that’s a giant cookie cutter, but a regular sized cookie sheet.)

Soon as she got it (the dough, not the boy) rolled out, she attacked it with the cutters,slob, humor, mini cookie cutters

 

 

 

 

 

 

with a will!    I think she had them all cut out in about 15 seconds!   😉

So everyone chowed down, and enjoyed themselves.    When Mommy came to pick up the girls, she got some.      Pop Pop even got a few!     (And is now lobbying for a second bake-athon.      Whenever ya got the time to some over and help, just let me know!      So far, ain’t happening!)

Now, all that to say, here it Thur. 12/22, and the table still looks like this.     

slob, humor, cookie chaos    That’s the right half of the table.   I skipped showing ya all the flour, and crumbs!     Welcome!

slob, humor, craft mess     The left side of the table.  Showcasing BOTH the cookie chaos, and the craft crap creativity.

(Yeah, the cookie mess is there, under the craft mess.    PP didn’t have the time to wait for me to clean up, she had to get her craft on!)

So now, the crunch is on once again, to clean up.    I’m having DD1, SIL, the girls, Pop Pop, and SIL’s sister that I just met last night, over for Christmas Dinner, after church.     (Actually it’s gonna be more like Christmas Brunch, since it’s gonna be our family’s traditional chocolate syrup, and biscuits!      Sadly, canned biscuits.     Please don’t tell Mama!    Or she will beat my butt for serving that mess to my family!       I’m planning to look up some kinda breakfast casserole I can do in the cook pot.     I ain’t afraid to use that!   And bonus:  the fire alarm doesn’t go off!)

 

Okay, so after I get this written to this point, now I gotta go clean!        UGH

And now would ya lookit the time!!      Gotta go take a nap now, it’s on the schedule!!      (I write “nap” down every day on my ta do list!     So, at least I’ll accomplish ONE thing a day!!)      The reason I had the time to write this post, and take the pix is- the girls were in day care.   But I have to go get them at 5, so I have to rest up first!!

 

 

You’ll be the first to know when I actually get the table cleaned off!

Sweet, Sweet, Sweets

slob, humor, sweets!

image from Food Network

Divinity is divine!!                    

You won’t believe this, I looked up “Purple fudge” and they had a pic!      It did NOT look edible! lol  

slob, humor, sweets

google image

I’m sure I could find other purple candies, but I’m too hungry now to keep looking!       Excuse me while I go into a sugar coma.

Sweet, sweet, SWEETS!!    YES!      Christmas is the sweetest time of year!!

But what about Easter??       Valentine’s Day??       That October holiday you don’t like to talk about???

 

Cross image- blaircandy.com                                                       peeps- pinterest.com

slob, humor, candy

pinterest.com

Okay, okay, Christmas is ONE of the sweetest times of the year.      Can we agree on that??

(Thinks it over, nods.)        Whew!      Glad we got THAT settled!      I didn’t realize I’d need hostage negotiation skills just to write a post today!

Now that I’ve snapped outta my sugar coma, what were we talking about??

Christmas being sweet.        Oh yeah, thanks!         I’ve already dedicated a whole post to Mama’s pecan pie.      slob, humor, nom nom nom   

 (Oh no, there I go slobbering all over the keyboard again!)

Another sweet that I miss, Grandma’s egg custard pie.  

slob, humor, sweets

sweetiepies.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since she’s gone, no one else really has the heart to make it.any more.    slob, humor, sad         So, I go get one from Publix, as a sad, sad, substitute.      And cry into my Sprite, as I gobble the whole thing down in 1 sitting.

Fruitcake- now that is 1 thing I don’t miss!      Though I must admit, Grandma’s was pretty good, as fruitcakes go!        It was moist, not a door stopper at all!

slob, humor, sweets

rivertea.com

This is probably a good place for this.                           slob, humor, dessert meme

Lol, in other words, Desserts take the cake, if you’re stressed!

One candy I haven’t had in years, was homemade by a Greek family, that was in one of our churches.     Every year they made red, and green candy, that looked like colored glass.     I wish I could remember the name of it!       (Oh, Ma-ma!!)

Mama says it was called “Kallacarenes Kandy”.       (That was the name of the family- how did that happen??)      slob, humor, winky   Then she asked, “Why?    Are you gonna try to make some??”       Boy, we had a good belly laugh about that!!

Since it looked like broken glass, I looked that up, and lo and behold- that’s the name!

slob, humor, candy

pinterest.com

The red is cinnamon, well, guess I won’t be having any of that!        The green was mint.

I talked about so much sweet stuff, I’m craving salty now.     Off to the kitchen to lick some saltines.

merry_christmas_purple

Pecan Pie

For Thanksgiving, Mama made fresh pies, with love!     Oh so good!!      She made 2 pecan, 1 coconut cream, 2 sweet potato, and 1 chocolate.    Did you hear that, Katie??    ONLY ONE chocolate!!   My worst Thanksgiving fear came true!!     Oh, horrible day!        It was a fight to the death, between Bro. and me!!      (No, neither one of us died, but the pie sadly didn’t survive!)

Since there isn’t any evidence to show you on that one, I decided to blog about the pecan pie.      And, it is pah-cahn, not pee-can, for those not from the South.     (I’m so sorry for you, that you weren’t born here.)

Here is the way I brought it home, packaged so prettily by Mama.

slob, humor, pretty pie    Then, revealed in all its gooey glory!  slob, humor, homemade pecan pie!!

Nuttin else like a pecan pie, made with love by Mama!!       Except 2!!  

 

(Word of warning:  Do NOT ever research “licking lips”, unless you are prepared for some visual trauma!      Why do people have to be so nasty???? )

I only took 1 slice,

slob, humor, slice missing

What do you mean 1/4 of the pie is NOT 1 slice?? It certainly is!!

My breakfast:

img_20161126_064420  slob, humor, nom nom The only reason for these shots is proof that I didn’t inhale it!    (I’ve been accused of that on multiple occasions!)       See?    I do take bites!                              slob, humor, nom nom nom   Going, going, slob, humor, bye bye pie!   gone!           Yummy!   IT was delish!!

Hey look, Gail!    And Dolly!   And Lynn!     I’m becoming a food blogger!     LOL    (NOT!!)        I’d have too much trouble not eating it all first!

 

Tickled Turkey

I know Thanksgiving is officially over, but I kept seeing all these hilarious turkey memes, so I just had to share!     I hope your funny bone is as tickled as mine!

slob, humor, turkey meme     Lol, right??      (Try 15!)

slob, humor, Thanksgiving meme

But he forgot dessert!

slob, humor, turkey meme

I don’t usually do political, but….

slob, humor, turkey meme

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         Poor sucker!

slob, humor, turkey meme

This one’s not a turkey, but..

slob, humor, pie meme

slob, humor, turkey memes slob, humor, turkey memescan’t stop!

slob, humor, turkey memes

slob, humor, turkey memes

I just can’t stop!  Laughing!

slob, humor, turkey meme  slob, humor, turkey meme

slob, humor, turkey meme

slob, humor, turkey meme

Nice try!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

slob, humor, turkey meme

slob, humor, turkey meme slob, humor, turkey meme

And last, but not least.

slob, humor, Thanksgiving meme

I sure hope none of yours was like that!!