Isn’t my chandelier gorgeous?
Wait, what? You don’t see it? C’mon now, all true believers will be able to see it. Now, do you see it? It’s the same color as the Emperor’s New Clothes.
This is serious, folks, I’m desperately seeking illumination on the situation. So I’ve decided to post a Light Wanted ad.
Me: Empty Light socket seeking the one who completes me, for long term committed relationship.
You: Full figured crystal chandelier, any height, any age, as long as you’re legal to leave your factory. Color of metal doesn’t matter. Must love shining down on romantic dinners, sparkling in the sunlight, and wanting to have many small light bulbs in the future.
Me:Email me at email@example.com, and let’s get this thing glowing.
This is what I want:
(Too grand?? I do think I live in a palace, ya know.)
Does anyone have any unattached chandelier friends looking for that special wiring set up??