Graphically Gross

WARNING:  The following picture is graphically gross!  If you’re squeamish, cover your eyes, and chant rhythmically to yourself: “Lalalalala, I can’t SEE you!!”

Roach squooshed in my hand.

This is the “after”.  I did the deadly deed in the bathroom.  With my hand.  By PurpleSlob.  (Anybody catch the “Clue”??)

Okay, you can look now. All clear.

I know you think, (at least I THINK you think) it’s gross that I squoosh roaches with my hands.  In my defense:

1.  My hands are washable.  Sterilizable, even.
2.  Inexplicably, the roaches never respond to my shouted demands requests to sit still while I run and go get a shoe with which to annihilate them.
3.  A dead roach in the hand is worth much more to me than a hundred running around behind my back, especially running around in front of my back!
4.  I don’t carry a can of bug spray on my person at all times.  It interferes with my swatting arm.
5.  I honestly don’t mind bug guts on me.  It gives me such a sense of personal satisfaction to cream them, by my own “hand”iwork, that I kinda revel in the bloody evidence of a battle well won!

I guess I could try wearing a chatelaine,

Chatelaine, 1765-1775 Victoria and Albert Museum no. -C.492:1 to 7-1914

and just add a heavy-duty fly flap, some of those suckers get huge!!  It would just have to have some sorta quick release mechanism.

Nah, it’d weigh me down too much.  Back to hand-to-roach combat for me.  Hoo-Rah!