Hacked Hair

Decided my hair was just too long, again!   So, instead of going to the hair dressers, like normal people do, (or so I’ve heard), I got out my scissors, sat down, and went to town.

The next day, my aunts came over.   One of whom requested anonymity, and the other was Sherry.    (My besties can easily figure out which sister she is.   Sorry, if you don’t know me IRL, then you’ll just have to suffer the curiosity.    Hope it doesn’t kill you, like it did the cat!)

When they saw me, their gasps were so loud, the neighbor yelled “Shut up over there!”   {Maybe a slight hyperbole.   Possibly.}  

courtesy of pixaby 

 

 

Where was I??   Oh yeah, they were shocked by the hacked up appearance of my hair.   IDK why, since Sherry has done worse to me!!!

So, after we ate lunch, gotta keep up our strength!!!   The aunt who-wants-to-remain-anonymous offered to use the scissors to try to even it out.    {It was BAD y’all!!!}  

This was after the pass with the first razor. Pitiful, I know.

 

That helped so much not at all, so with a sigh, she asked for a razor.    And I knew where 1 was!  Yay me!!    I’m loving this organized-so-I-know-where-things-are-immediately change in my life!!!    There is hope, and recovery for slobs!!!

Anyhoo, so she attacked shaved my head down to the scalp.   She did the deed in the dining room.    Oooohh, I love feeling the wind in my hair on my bare skin!    It’s quite a delicious feeling!   I highly recommend it, if you’ve never tried it!   {Truly tho, attacked IS an appropriate word, since she snipped my forehead once!   In her defense, they were horrible scissors!   Cuz I didn’t know where my hair trimming scissors were.   hangs head in shame   And of course, I found them when I went looking for the second razor!    Too late for my poor bleeding self.

No, I don’t have cancer! (I know that question is coming. I got it ALL the time last time I shaved.)

 

Another bonus, I get to spend less time in the shower!   I was already spending a whole 20 seconds lathering up my short hair, so I can “shave” off that time!    See what I did there?   Now I’ll finally be able to get to that 1 push up I’ve been meaning to do, and just never could find the time!

No more gray for me!!   Haha, now I can save that zero dollars I was spending every month on hair color!

Good thing I have a prettily shaped head!

“Doggy Did Dit.”

(Title quote credit to PP.)

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days.  Why?  Well, let me just entertain you with my pain.

I went to help my Sister clear the way for new furniture. Yay new furniture!  Everything was humming along, but I was getting tired.

As I went thru the dining room, suddenly her dog decided that he needed to occupy the EXACT SAME SPACE as ME, THAT SECOND!  AS you know from my pix, there is NOT a thigh gap between my legs!  Not even a tiny one.  And her dog isn’t tiny!  Did I mention he’s a HUGE 100 pound Rottweiler??  (He thinks he’s still a puppy lap dog, too!)  So, as you might expect, I hit the deck.  Not with an exclamation of joy, either.

Not actually Ranger.

 

So, as I lay there, stunned, my sister is frantically checking me out.  

“Can you hear me??  How many fingers am I holding up??  Are you bleeding??”

Yes, I can hear you loud and clear- you’re shouting in my ear!  And, I’d be able to see better if your fingers weren’t in my eyes!

JK, she was not shouting, and not poking me in the eye either.  But it sounds funnier than the truth.

Thank God, I was not broken, or bleeding.  I did give myself a good jolt, and some pretty purple bruises will be blooming tomorrow, I feel confident!  And, oh- how I wanted to kick that dog!!

But how can you be mean to him, when he just looks up at you so adoringly and says, “Hey, that game was fun, let’s do it again!!”

Strawberry Daiquiri

Part 1, Strawberry City, part 2, Man Giant, part 3, Strawberry Banquet, part 4, Strawberry Love, part 5, Strawberry Slush, part 6, Strawberry Sickness.

an alcoholic.

She didn’t know that her dad had been an alcoholic, when he was younger.  But, thank God, he got saved and delivered.  Unfortunately, Strawberry Girl kept on drinking.

Once again, Man Giant was being sent over seas, for his job.  This time to the Land of Heather.

Strawberry Girl would not go, so she and the 2 girls moved back to Strawberry City.

Things didn’t get any better there.  In fact, they got worse.

One night, after drinking, the Strawberry Girl didn’t come home.  She was missing a whole weekend.  So, her parents contacted Man Giant, and he was able to return home on Emergency Leave.

When Strawberry Girl turned up, she confessed everything to Man Giant.  Together, they decided she needed professional help.  So, she went to the mental hospital for 3 weeks.

In the hospital she discovered she also had major depression, besides her Tired disease, and her alcoholism.  The first person she met was also named Strawberry Girl.  The other Strawberry Girl had teeth missing, she looked twice her age, and had her children taken away.  Our Strawberry Girl felt like she was looking in a mirror of the future. That sobered her up, really quick like. She cried out to God, and promised with His help, she’d never drink again.  And she never did.

But!  That didn’t cure her messes, and clutter problem, or her depression, or her Tired disease.  Those just kept getting worse.

Man Giant had to leave her again, to go back to the Land of Heather.

Strawberry Girl didn’t handle this absence any better, she just did it sober.

When Man Giant came home again, he realized that sadly, he had to

To Be Continued……

Laundry Litter

Here’s my laundry room closet.  I think it’s not half bad, for a slob.  Believe you me, it could look lots worse.  And it has!  But haha, no before pix so you can’t prove it!  (Raspberry)    At least the top of the washer is cleared off.  Gotta give me some credit for that! I know, I know.  It would only take a few minutes to clean it all up, nice and neat.  But if you’ve been here before, then you know I should have named this blog “Procrastinating Purple Slob in Recovery”.  Is it too late to add that in there? Maybe tomorrow???    Hey!  Would you just looka there .  I did it!  Hurray!  There just might be hope for me yet!

Slump

You might have noticed I’ve been in a slump. a Slight Slump. A Slight Slogger Slump. (slogger -slob blogger)  Then again, you might not.

I wanted to put a pic in here, but how do you picture a slump?

Anyhoo, I haven’t been writing posts like I expected I would.

So, what do I do? Correct the problem? Ignore it? Make it worse?

Hopefully I will get back on track, and start spitting out the posts again, at the speed of funny,

I say hopefully!  I know the funny isn’t guaranteed, unlike the slobbery.

I can count on the slobbery being here for a loooong , loooong time!  (yay for job security!)

Thanks for hanging around, I hope we have a long successful slogging career together!

(The slump is a  totaally separate issue from the no-internet thing.  They just happen to be occurring at the same time.  Go figure.)