Grungy Grabage

Uh, Melinda?


Grungy Grabage makes no sense.    {Also, it rhymes with cabbage, but I digress.}

OOPS!    Sorry!    That’s supposed to be grungy garbage, not grabage.

Well, that does make more sense then.

Y’all know I’m not too proud to show ya ALL my grungy grunk.     But, what am I to do when I keep forgetting to document it??

Recreate it??

Only when it’s something like a to-do list!     Not gonna purposefully make my garbage can really grungy again, just to photograph it!

Not to worry, it’ll get grungy again on its own!     Then you can take a pic!     How’s that??

ARGH!!          Okay, think, think!!     (sound of creaky wheels turning)      Alright, I know!     I’ll just wait and take a pic of the dirty water, in the can, and that will show how dirty it WAS!

Brilliant!      But, hey, what made you think of washing the trash can anyways?      That’s not something you usually do!

Ya got me there!     I went to throw something away, and it was across the room, so I grabbed it, pulled it closer, then, BLAM!       My olfactory nerves were so severely assaulted, that my neuro-pathways temporarily shut down.     I was paralyzed for a few seconds, but then the horrendous stench acted like smelling salts, and brought me back outta the daze.   I hurriedly tied up the offending bag, handed it to SF, dumped a gallon of soap in there, and sprayed it half full of hot water.     My quick thinking action is probably what saved my life. If I had sniffed that any longer, I’d probably been paralyzed for life!!     The amount of toxins per liter was eleventy bajillion!!

(Wonder where I can learn how to install a scratch-n-sniff sticker??)

So, here’s the dirty water pic ya wanted to see.

slob, humor, filthy

Isn’t it glorious??

Uh, not really.    Unless glorious now means gross, that is!     Besides, I didn’t want to see it!     You wanted to see it!

And now, ta-da!!          

slob, humor, still dirty

Nope, not clean, just dry.

Oh, oops!    Someone didn’t realize there was water in it, and threw in a coupla paper towels.       That took care of that!        Now, it’s all dry!          Thanks, XH!!       But, still dirty.         Guess there’s nothing else for it, but to scrub by hand, since the-soapy -water-left-to-itself method didn’t work.

So, I had to get out the 

slob, humor, lysol wipes   and actually scrub!     Because after all this time, (to my shame I started this post 3 months ago) the dirt had hardened back again.     Pictorial proof:

slob, humor, scrubbing      Now, Ta-da!!       For realz this time!!

The pretty, clean, and completely grungy-grabage-free can!       (All you cleanies hide your eyes, you will probably faint.)slob, humor, clean can

Well, okay, except for that 1 spot on the side.    And that little dirt at the bottom.  

slob, humor, cleanish trash can

But, I promise  it is a sterile spot, and sterile dirt!      I have the acid eaten hands to prove it!  Fine!      I’ll go back and wipe again.

Better now??      Ummm, how bow dah??      The spot is still there!slob, humor, cleaner can

And, it’s gonna stay there!!     I couldn’t scrape it off with my thumb nail, and it’s been thoroughly sterilized, so good enough for me!

I’m calling DONE!

Declutterathon Data

slob, humor, declutterathon


Remember hearing about these beauties??

slob, humor, old phone

(Well, couldn’t find other one.    Guess I already donated it??)

Well, that’s what we’re gonna de-clutter.     Now do you get the Android joke?     No?      Ya hadda watch Star Trek New Gen, I guess.

I got the phone, as a free one.    So, I used it a few days, but the punching-the-keys-3-or-4-times-to-get-the-letter-I-want thing  completely wore out my nerves!!       

slob, humor, no time

But of course, I had already input numbers, cuz I’m too lazy busy to remember them!

So, after the phone went in the donate pile, it finally occurred to me that I might not want whomever gets it to know my Mama’s number! Duh!

Anyway, the story of the second phone is:  I ordered it online, to take the first crazy-making one’s place.     Not knowing SF had also ordered one!!     So, when #2 arrived, I input numbers…     And a day or two later, SF’s phone arrived- which was MILES better than the one I ordered!!    PLUS he had gotten a purple case!     So purple, I mean better, wins hands down!

So, that’s why we have to de-clutter data today.

OOps, wait!      What about your old, purple phone??    slob, humor, data clutter

Oh yeah, so it’s data times three, then.

I’m seeing WAY more than 15 minutes work here!

So no need to even set the timer, just stretch my index finger to limber it up, and go to town.

Days hours 45 minutes later, I was done with the 2 black phones, since I hadn’t transferred all my #s to either one, thankfully!!    But I did already have pix, etc on the second one.     

Why did it take you 45 minutes??    

Well, you delete contacts one by one, and see how long it takes you!

Groan!    You did each one individually??

How else??

Didn’t you even LOOK to see if there was a delete all option?

Uh, no…

Anyway, so now I know…


Oh yeah!  One more thing that counts as data, I think.      When I was looking thru my memory boxes way the other day, 2 weeks ago??      I found an old addy book, and kept it out.

slob, humor, old clutter

So, today I looked thru it, and it was all people from 20 years ago, that I no longer have any contact with, OR I know for a fact they’ve moved.

So, trashing that was an easy decision.    Yay for 1 angst free decision!!

Then, there’s this:    

slob, humor, decluttered inbox

Yay for a decluttered inbox!


Data done decluttered.       (apologies to Brent Spiner)





Queen Anne’s Day 15:


Queen Anne’s other Ladies-in-Waiting:


Grace, at The CFO MOM Blog

Jen, at The Hidden Hoarder

Barb, at Decluttering The Stuff

Declutterathon Dash

slob, decluttering, challenge

Today I’m gonna dash right thru this little session.     I’m decluttering the rat’s nest beside my bed.

slob, humor, clutter     The compulsory roll of tp,    In case you don’t make it to the potty????     NO!!     ICK!!    It’s for my nose!!     I guess I could do without the used wads.     That would be nice!

The trash is a no-brainer, and possibly I don’t need 3 deodorants, at once anyway!!      The pills are necessary, and the back scratcher, and the book.     But the book doesn’t need to be there, you never read in bed anymore.     And you do have such a lovely not crammed bookshelf, right over there!     {helpfully points}

slob, humor, declutteringslob, humor, declutteringslob, humor, decluttering

The necklace can be banished, probably the fabric scrap too.      But what about the french fry??     Won’t PP notice that’s missing??     Probably not till she makes burgers!

Okay, I’ve documented the mess, time {See what I did there??} for the decluttering to begin!!

Timer set: 15 minutes.      GO!

And she’s off to the races!

Huff, puff, blow down the clutter!

Almost done!    When is that timer gonna ding??     This is the longest 15 minutes of my life, without any fame, even!

*Looks at timer.*   slob, humor, facepalm      Let me guess.     {crossly}   You don’t have to guess, you know what I did!    Moving on!

slob, humor, not clutter     Good thing I did this!     I had 2 sets of duplicate bottles!!      Clutter be gone!       slob, humor, expired      3 expired supplements.     Not good, Melinda.    I know, I know.     Well, I won’t be taking those anymore.     Wonder if that’s why your tongue turned green??

slob, humor, clutter?     Aha!    I wondered where the key to my heart went.      Cute.

slob, humor, decluttering



2 more pairs of scissors??    When you already have 2 pairs in your office, not 6 feet away??      But the big ones are sewing scissors!   Very necessary!!     And you couldn’t put them in your sewing room, not even 3 feet away, because??????      Never mind, back to their respective places now.



slob, humor, not clutter!      Wow, this Declutterathon is certainly turning out to be lucrative!!  Thanks, Queen Anne!!    It really does pay to clean your house!      

slob, humor, decluttering      Just exactly how many finger, and toe nails do you have anyway?    This is the fourth pair we’ve found!     To the bathroom cabinet they go.

slob, humor, not clutter, just homeless



So slobby sewing supplies.    Sent to sewing supply space.





slob, humor, clutter      The third phone we’ve found!      Maybe you need to add hoarder somewhere in your name??

slob, humor, not clutterYummy!    Chocolate scented dog Sister sent me!      Not clutter at all!!       I agree!    Chocolate is one of the basic food groups!     Ya NEVER get rid of chocolate!

slob, humor, decluttered      Since when do TV trays have 8 legs??      Ya know, I never even noticed that 2nd one was there!       *eye roll*     Why am I not surprised??

slob, humor, clutter




To be sent to the shed shortly.

{Update:  it’s been banished.}



Look what else I found.      slob, humor, clutter       What??    Doesn’t everyone use their pill organizer as a safe deposit box??

Time for the big reveal!     Feast your eyes on this!

slob, humor, decluttered      So, so pretty!      slob, humor, decluttered        There, doesn’t that look so much better?

Yes, I admit it does.    And look!     slob, humor, better than tp roll       I even upgraded to real tissues!

My, my!     We are going all out!!

And the Declutterathon dash is done for this day.



Queen Anne’s Day 11:


Queen Anne’s other Ladies-in-Waiting:


Grace, at The CFO MOM Blog

Jen, at The Hidden Hoarder

Barb, at Decluttering The Stuff

Declutterathon Dumped

slob, decluttering, challenge

No!   The Declutterathon was NOT dumped!    I dumped the drawer out on the floor!     The bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, to be exact.    

My erstwhile “card” drawer.    And indeed, there were many, many cards in there!

But also this!    slob, humor, clutter     Yup, the same dead llama.    I guess it chose its final resting place a BIT unwisely.    

Who choose it??   {archly}

[crossly]    Oh, alright, I did it.    I dumped it in there yesterday, so I wouldn’t have to deal with it.

And now?

Now, I have to really decide where to put it.   <sigh>     I don’t really wanna get rid of it….   so memory box it is.    As long as it fits, I’m still good!

Oh no!   What is this?    More animals??

slob, humor, animals

A whole cascade of Christmas, gifts, ornaments, cards, and the tags from the other day, that I also tossed in there, to avoid!

slob, humor, ornamentsslob, humor, Christmas

Can’t show the gifts!    Some of the people might read this!    Sshh!!

A scarf, for playing dress up, candy sprinkles, 1 tiny ornament, and a cardboard box- ended up dumped in the trash.

slob, humor, trash     I can’t believe I actually threw something purple away!    But, it’s more trouble than its worth, to try to remember to take it out to the bins in the workshop!

Other finds; a trio of tiny bins, a music cd, which I promptly popped into the player, and fell in love with!!   slob, humor, music

A tag surrender affidavit, which I filed in my newly decluttered important paper filing drawer!!

I used one of the tiny bins, and then put the remaining 2, and the now empty white one in the donate pile.     slob, humor, not clutter- it's purple!    Look Mom- no llama!

I kept all these cards:   slob, humor, cards  And the 8 that were to me, ended up in the memory box.


And I kept going!    Only long enough to do this:

slob, humor, back on track and closed     Put it back on track!!    And close it.

I just wanna say…    

What now??   What is wrong this time??      

Chill!!    I just wanna say, Great job!    I’m proud of you!

[mollified]     Wow, okay.   Thank you for noticing!

Thus endeth the tale of today’s Declutterathon .



Queen Anne’s Day   9


Queen Anne’s other Ladies-in-Waiting:


Grace, at The CFO MOM Blog

Jen, at The Hidden Hoarder

Barb, at Decluttering The Stuff


Declutterathon Da-shred?

slob, decluttering




slob, humor, clutter  pile.   slob, humor, clutter

Here we begin to be weary of the dumb “D” words, that are not really words, Melinda!!

But I tried wracking my brain, but that was just too painful!

Another thought?


Try this.

slob, humor, help

Thanks!!  You saved all the strain on my gray matter!     Okay, how’s “disunite’??

Too late now, you already hit publish!   Everyone’s already read it, and think you’re kooky for making up words.

I think they were already well aware before today!

As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, [clears throat, gives severe look], today we’re gonna tackle the shred pile, under the desk.    AND, since we have no shredder, it has to be done by hand.    So, we are for realz gonna set the timer, AND start it this time!!

Rip, shred, disunite, tear…….


Wow!  At least I reduced it to this smaller heap.

slob, humor, smaller pile    Good going!!                  Thanks!!                      Welcome.   Now, get going!

Resets timer.    Resumes tearing.

Wonder why I had a note to myself in the shred pile??

slob, humor, shred

Good question!!

All done!   With 8 minutes left on the timer!!    

Do you mean to tell me I HAND shredded that whole pile in only 21 minutes??


Then WHY did I wait so long????

{Opens mouth to answer…}

Never mind!

Now the bottom two shelves of the desk are empty!!   YAY!!    Thank you Queen Anne for the challenge!

slob, humor, decluttered


Queen Anne’s Day   7  :


Queen Anne’s other Ladies-in-Waiting:


Grace, at The CFO MOM Blog

Jen, at The Hidden Hoarder

Barb, at Decluttering The Stuff


Declutterathon- Dafloor

slob, decluttering

  1. Declaration
  2. Declutterathon Day
  3. Day Dos
  4. Dos Doubled
  5. Donate
  6. Desk
  7. Day 6- You are here.


I know, I know.    I’ve reached a new low, as low as I can go.    But how else could I alliterate “Floor“??

Here are the befores:

slob, humor, clutterslob, humor, clutterslob, humor, clutter

And this time, I’m getting to it before noon!    Not waiting till quarter to midnight!!    Go, me!

Oh no!   This is gonna be harder than I thought!

Why?   What’s the matter??

I have to bend over!!    Waaaaahhh!            

slob, humor, giphy

Now I really wanna cry!




Get over it you big, lazy baby!  



First item out the door!   I didn’t even know what it was till Stella, from Purfylle told me!  

slob, humor, mystery tool   Neither do I know where it came from.    Who is dropping off all this stuff in the middle of the night??    And HOW do they get in??

Oops!    I forgot to set the timer!    Well, I KNOW it’s gonna take more than 15 minutes.   (Counting the blogging, and photography, and editing, about 2 hours!!)     I think we’re good!

I was debating whether to donate, or trash.  slob, humor, decluttering(You know these things are like Twinkies, full of enough preservatives to last till I have great-great grandchildren!!)     So, probably trash is the safest option?

Uh, yeah, I’d say.

slob, humor, clutterslob, humor, fabric isn't clutterslob, humor, not clutterslob, humor, clutter?

All manner of craft, sewing, and quilting supplies.     Wait!!   That’s a curtain there!     Since it was a blackout one, I didn’t see it!     (And why do I see so much green????)     The wired ribbon bit the dust, and the box of little giblets too.    The material and the curtain survived this tribal council.

slob, humor, brand new shirrt    No wonder PP has no new clothes!!    They’re all playing hide -n- go – seek in the clutter piles!!


slob, humor, clutter?slob, humor, not clutter

Paper!!    Purple paper!!    (Well, purple cover of paper.)               Purple paper put in place!!

slob, humor, declutter     Believe it or not, these are only the ones I have left.    I bought 10!   Why? Because they were only 19 cents of course!!    What a bah-gain!    Was gonna trash- after all, who’s gonna use them in 6 months??     Then I remembered- hmmm  DD2 just graduated, and I’m still working on her quilt.….

0910161252   Whoa!    That’s one huge needle!!
Am I gonna be sewing a dress for the Statue of Liberty, or something???

slob, humor, definitely clutter


All I can say is :   Ugh, ugh, U G L Y!!!  








Ta-da!!  All decluttered??

Nope! Not yet!

What’s the matter now?

Don’t you even SEE that roll of RED wrapping paper?

Oh yeah, duh, slob-o-vision.    Away it goes, into the closet.

Ta-da!!    All decluttered!!    

slob, humor, really decluttered this time     0910161258b

Another quality decluttering job by PurpleSlobInRecovery.




Queen Anne’s Day   6  :


Queen Anne’s other Ladies-in-Waiting:


Grace, at The CFO MOM Blog

Jen, at The Hidden Hoarder

Barb, at Decluttering The Stuff




Declutterathon Day Dos

slob, decluttering



Aright, here we are to finish the Declutterathon day .

When we last left Melinda, she was agonizing over the decision of trashing or recycling the baby bib.   Let’s take a peek, and see what happened.

slob, clutter, trashed bib

YAY!!   She did it!!

We’re proud of you!

{mutters}   Yeah, yeah.    Where were we?

Sentimental clutter.

Must you keep rubbing it in??

Sorry.   Next item.

slob, clutter, daughter pillow   Oh, well, why do I still have this??   I made it, so I need to give it to a daughter!

But you have 2!   How are you gonna decide between the two?

Hmmm, good question!   Could I give it to Mama?   Since I’m her daughter??

[shrugs}   I guess, that would eliminate any further agonizing. 

Let’s do it!

slob, clutter, handmade prayer   Oh no!!   My Aunt Jessie made that for me!   It’s not going anywhere!!   

But it’s not framed or anything!

I’ll frame it.

[quirks eyebrow}   Will you really??

Yes!   I’ll do it right now!

But that would interrupt the flow of your de-cluttering mojo!

Then will ya give me a break??

Okay, we’ll check back in on this later.

AFTER the 21 days of the Declutterathon!

Oh alright, after it is.   Next!

slob, clutter, loomed potholder    What is that??

A hand loomed potholder, of course!

A what??

Aw, c’mon!   You’re as old as me!   You remember those little looms, where ya weave the loops.   And about ALL they’re good for is play potholders!

Oh, yeah, yeah.   Now I remember!

Ok, but who made it?

I dunno!   If you can’t remember, do you need to keep it?  

Well, sure!

Whaddya gonna DO with it?

Use it as a potholder, of course! 

{hmmph}   We’ll see!

Next!       slob, clutter, I don't even know what it is!    I don’t even know what it is!!    I remember Mama brought it back from one of her missions trips.    Maybe I can give it to PP, as a kind of maraca?

That’ll work.

slob, clutter, technology    Now this is interesting!   I thought you didn’t want PP to have screen time at your house?

I don’t!

Then why do you have books for her that read themselves??    Isn’t that screen time?

Uh, um…   Not really!

Come again?

It requires her active participation, to move the stylus across the page, so that it reads!

Uh, yeah, okay.   Whatever you want to tell yourself!!

slob, clutter, stupid paper    Now, THIS paper is totally STUPID!!    Why would I have kept the requirements for my teaching certificate, AFTER I already HAVE my teaching certificate???

Because you’re a hoarding slob??


{shrugs}    Just trying to help!

Easy decision- recycle.   Next!    slob, clutter, 2nd stupid paper     Oh brother!   Another stupid paper!    Why would I keep the letter of eligibility for my teaching certificate, AFTER I have my teaching certificate??

{Draws in a breath to answer}


Fine!   Ya don’t need to yell!

Recycle.    Hey, this is getting easier!     slob, clutter, sentimental book    Uh oh, did I say easier??

{nods head}

Well, of course I get to keep it, just like all my old diaries!    Whoever writes my biography will need all of them as research materials!    slob, sentimental clutter, diaries

{sarcastically}    Why, of course!   You’re an important personage!


slob, clutter, someone else's dvds     Oops!   These belong to Sandy.   And she moved to Georgia, about 6 years ago.   I see a visit to the post office in my future!

Whoa, we’re going great guns, but nowhere near finished yet!    But, I’m tired of talking.

What??    I can’t believe that!!

Alrighty then!   What I really meant to say was, I’m tired of typing!

Now THAT I believe!!

More Declutterathon Day Dos tomorrow!    Hurry back!

Hey WAIT!! 


Wasn’t today supposed to be the “dramatic conclusion” of Declutterathon Day?

Oh, right.   Well, we’re slow, and very verbose!   What can we say??



Queen Anne’s second day.

Queen Anne’s other Ladies-in-Waiting:

Grace, at The CFO MOM Blog

Jen, at The Hidden Hoarder

Barb, at DeclutteringtheStuff

Declutterathon Day

slob, decluttering

Declutterathon Declaration

Welcome to Declutterathon Day !!  

How am I gonna come up with 19 more alliterative titles with Declutterathon in them???     Help!   I’m panicking here!!

Dun dun dun!!    {Hey!   There’s one!   Only 18 more to go!}

Behold the bedroom bookshelf!           

Or would it be in your office, since it’s to the left of your computer desk??

slob, de-cluttering, bookshelfslob, de-cluttering, bookshelfslob, de-cluttering, bookshelfslob, de-cluttering, bookshelf

Top left,                           Top right,                    Bottom left,                           Bottom right.

In 4 part harmony, no less!!

Now, that the preliminaries are over, 

Deciding which room it’s located in??

Exactly!     As I was saying….   Down to the actual work of de-cluttering.

Timer set:   15 min. 

Ready!   Steady!   Set!   Go!

Work, workety, work.   Throw trash away.   Read a card.   Cry.    slob, de-cluttering, card    This was to Bobby, my dead husband.    Who died 15 years ago.    Reckon I should let it go now.   I don’t think he will mind.

Agonize over decisions.

slob, de-cluttering, DD1's hands

How do I let go of DD1’s hands????   Answer: I can’t.   Not yet.   Back in the memories box.



Time’s up!    

What?   Already?   But, I’m not even halfway through!!

Well, you can keep going, ya know!    15 minutes was only the minimum you promised, nobody said you had to STOP at 15!

Okay, I will!    {Keep going, that is.   This time I didn’t even set the timer, just looked at the time.)

More work, workety, work, work.

More throwing trash away.   More reading cards.   More crying.    More agonizing over decisions.

Or not.   slob, de-cluttering   Since I don’t even WEAR make-up, this one was easy peasy!   

Then why did you buy it again??

Ummm, oh yeah!   To wear to Dr. Kim’s graduation!

Oh, alright.   But suggestion?


Don’t buy any more make-up!   You won’t wear it!

Good point.

slob, de-cluttering, sentimental clutter   Oh no!    DD1’s birthing center bib!   More agonizing!   How will I ever remember she was born in a birthing Center, if I throw this away???     Waaaaaahhhh!  

Wait, this sounds awfully familiar!

What do you mean??

Didn’t you go thru this same exact routine when you found DD2’s hospital cap?

Uh, I dunno.   Maybe….

And what did your friend, who was helping you de-clutter then, say?

[small voice]   Get rid of it.   

Uh, huh.   And how many times since then have you cried over that baby cap??

Well, uh, um, a c t u a l l y….

Yes?    Actually how many times exactly??

Oh ok, NONE.  Okay??   None.   {Realization hits.}     Oh, so what you’re saying is, I won’t miss this either, once I let it go?

Bravo, Grasshopper!   You have learned well!

{Big swoosh of breath.}   Reluctantly kisses it, and puts in the donate pile.

Um, another suggestion?

{big sigh}   What now?

Before you donate it, don’t you think you need to wash it?   After all, it IS 29 years old!    Not to mention dirty, and stained.

You may have a point there.   It is rather grungy.    But, am I really gonna take the time to wash something, just to donate it??   No, I’m really not.   {Bigger sigh}    Oh alright, trash it is.    NOOOO!!!   {Grabs it back outta trash.}


What?  {snarl}

Remember I called you Grasshopper!   Pull up your big girl panties, and get on with it!

Can’t I recycle it instead??


Will the baby bib ever actually make it outta Melinda’s hands??    How long will she continue to cry, and argue over it??


Well folks, that’s enough drama for today.   Tune in tomorrow for the dramatic conclusion of Declutterathon Day !

Dun, dun, dun!


Queen Anne’s first day.


Queen Anne’s other Ladies-in-Waiting:

Grace, at The CFO MOM Blog

Jen, at The Hidden Hoarder

Barb, at Decluttering The Stuff



Van Vacuum

Vanronica was a “mommy van”.  

slob, humor, family

Sis’ family, before Jeffery died, and Ranger had to be re-homed.


If you have kids, or know someone with kids, ya know what I mean!

So, now it’s an Omie van, and I wanted it to start out clean, anyway!   Pretty soon, it’ll be back to “mommy van” status, I’m sure!   When the grands are “hun-gy”, ya gotta feed them!   Preferably cookies!   And chocolate!   {PP knows where her treat drawer is, in the house, trust me!}   All she has to do is bat those big, blue eyes, and Omie melts into a puddle.   “Here darlin’, have whatever you want!”

So, here is a few befores:

I spread the baking soda just to freshen up things.    (But it ended up making more work for myself Sweet Friend!)

slob, humor, baking soda

Whose idea was it to sprinkle baking soda again??

slob, humor, cleaning

Just needs a bit o’ vacuuming!

And a few afters:

slob, humor, cleaning

Still see the traces of baking soda, huh? I told you it made more work!

slob, humor, cleaning

AAhhh!! So nice and clean!


(Thank you so much, Sweet Friend for doing the actual vacuuming part!!   Hey, I spread out the baking soda, don’t forget!   I did my part!)  

There!   Nice and tidy- until the first time PP rides in it!!   I’m gonna try to train her to throw trash in a bag….  but, I’m not real hopeful.   She already had been “floor trained” in Burgundy.   She saw me throw stuff in the floor, so she did too.   But then she never saw me picking it up, when I should have been letting her help me clean!

We’ll see how it goes….

Trilling Trash

Well, it wasn’t really trilling like a bird.   More like water boiling.   No, that’s not it either.   Growling??    Gurgling like a drain– that’s it!!    (Sorta….)

I eyed the trash can very suspiciously.   WHY was it making noise???   And most importantly, HOW??????    I knew for sure there were no animals in it!!

I had just cleaned out my fridge.   I dumped in the beef-a-roni can, with NO thought whatsoever of recycling!!   I scooped the rotten roasted red peppers outta the sink, and threw them in the trash.    And so on, and so on.

I debated whether or not to give y’all the visual.   Aww, who am I kiddin??   Y’all LOVE to see my messes!!  Makes your messes SO much smaller by comparison!   Amiright???

slob, humor, trash

My trash eats better than I do!


I kept looking in it, in puzzlement, my brain whirling, and whirling.   How in this world was the garbage making that sound????

Well, the Reddi-Wip can you see wasn’t the only one.   Yup, I had 2 cans of whipped cream, that I allowed to go to waste.    hangs head in shame      And worse, they had been there since Christmas!

Have you guessed yet???    Uh huh, whipped cream cans can spray ALL BY THEMSELVES!!!   Well, when they’re upside down, with the help of 2 tons (approximately) of trash on top of them!!

Mystery solved.   Whew!!